Royal Survivor: Stars
by Mindblower
Summary: Our contestants, most of which have been the talk of the century, have been gathered on an island and split into tribes to compete for the grand prize of one million Coins! Who will be the next Royal Survivor?
1. Prologue

_Survivor_.

The name echoed through the minds of our contestants. Our contestants, whether they are royal or not, have gathered on a deserted island somewhere off the Mushroom Kingdom's coast to be showcased in our biggest event of the year.

_Royal Survivor_.

The first season of Royal Survivor starts now. And it's going to be intense.

**On the Fire tribe, there are:**

Bowser Jr, a eighteen-year-old adolescent.

Luigi, a twenty-year-old contractor.

Daisy, a twenty-one-year-old princess.

Diddy Kong, a sixteen-year-old commercial hunter.

Toadette, an eighteen-year-old cook.

And Waluigi, a forty-two-year-old businessman.

**On the Hero tribe, we have:**

Mario, a twenty-two-year-old plumber.

Peach, a twenty-three-year-old princess.

DK, a twenty-five-year-old zoologist.

Toad, an eighteen-year-old real estate agent.

Wario, a forty-five-year-old gold mine runner.

And Bowser, a fifty-eight-year-old king.

**On the Outcast tribe, there are:**

Edward Sorenson, a twenty-three-year-old Koopa.

Rosalina, an ageless Star Queen.

Funky Kong, a nineteen-year-old singer/guitar player.

Yoshi, a thirty-year-old farmer.

Bro Mamma, a twenty-eight-year-old Hammer Bro.

Birdo, a twenty-nine-year-old mother.

_Who will be the Royal Survivor?_


	2. Episode One

**Introduction**

Three boats met at an island at the center. The part-time host, Ben Koopa, met them as they got out with their luxury item.

"Hello," Ben said, "and welcome. Jeff is out on jury duty, so I'll be your host for the time being."

The audience clapped.

"Now, have any of you watched Survivor before?"

Rosalina and Wario raised their hands.

"Hmm." Ben nodded. "Well, this is similar, but also different. In Royal Survivor, you'll all be on the same island. You will be able to interact and make agreements with each other, although you'll be separated by the wilderness and probably won't see each other until further into the game.

"Next on the list, there will be no immunity challenges. You heard me. Instead, there will be the Immunity Torch." Ben held up a torch with a red ring around it. "If your torch gets burned in another camp, no matter what the circumstances, your tribe will be sent to tribal council and will have to vote off one of your own. You will receive your torch on Saturday.

"Lastly, there will be two different challenges. The Coin Challenge, and the Advantage challenge.

"The Coin Challenge is a challenge where one person from each tribe will compete to earn Ancient Coins. The Ancient Coins will allow you to buy luxury goods for your tribe at an auction that will be held every Saturday. There will be a Coin Challenge every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. You will read a mysterious omen as to what the challenge will be, and then you have to send the member of your team who you think would do best.

"The Advantage Challenge is where each _tribe_ will compete to earn a large bonus that will help you conquer other tribes. It sometimes challenges individual members of your tribes, but most of the time it focuses on your integrity as a whole. You will learn to love your tribe mates like family, but there can only be one survivor.

"Each tribe has an advantage in where they are located. You will find it sooner or later.

"Today is Monday. I have provided you with five six-person portions of rice, but by the end of the week you will have to hunt for yourselves. Oh, and…

"There will be a tribal council every week. The tribe who finished fourth in the Advantage Challenge, unless a tribal torch is burned, will be sent to tribal council."

**Hero, Monday**

Mario, Peach, DK, Toad, Bowser, and Wario are looking at the machetes that have been provided for them. Peach looks uneasy, but Wario feels right at home with the blade.

Peach: I'm not very comfortable handling a blade. I was told to stay away from blades. I hope I don't cut myself…

The Hero tribe exits on the beach. They look at the crate that is right in front of them.

"That must be the rice." Wario commented.

The team hauled it up.

"Anyone else as excited as I am?" Mario asked, excited.

"Sure, I guess. I mean, the million-coin prize sounds pretty good to me." Wario said.

Bowser: Nobody's as enthusiastic about this as Mario. I have a feeling he pretty much signed us all up, because, even though my memory's not the greatest, I don't remember signing up to be away from the comfort of home for who knows how long.

The tribe opens the crate and finds the rice inside. Also, there are several cans of tomatoes, a couple full waterskins, basic fishing gear, and a cauldron.

"Okay," Peach began, "I'm guessing we need to find water?"

"Fire." DK insisted. "Fire first. If we don't find some flint, any water around here is useless."

Toad shuddered. "Germs. Yucky."

Toad: I'm 100% sure I didn't sign up for this. Who wants to drink tainted water? I know I don't.

DK went to find flint, Mario went to find a water source, and Peach, Wario, and Bowser started to gather materials to build a shelter.

"Toad," Mario said, "Scout the territory. Tell me if you find anything interesting."

Toad: Mario is a self-absorbed brat. End of story. But I don't want to get him on my bad side, so I'm going to follow his orders. For now.

**Fire, Monday**

"WHOOOOO!" Daisy yelled as she got off the boat.

Daisy: This is my favorite show ever. I mean who couldn't like surviving in the wilderness on your own for a few months? I can't name anybody.

Bowser Jr: Daisy is almost as bad as Mario, from what I've heard. What I don't understand is how Daisy ended up with Luigi. Sure, he's a nice guy, but he can be a bit, like, overconfident.

After inspecting their inventory, Daisy volunteered to scout while Luigi and Diddy Kong started building a shelter. Toadette said she was going to be the cook, and Luigi said he was going to start fishing. Bowser Jr. was left to find the flint.

Toadette: Look, I'm not lazy. Anybody who doesn't know how to make rice properly could make a hot mess. Literally. In the meantime, I'm looking for flint along with BJ. Which I'm not too happy about.

Daisy ventured away from the group. The landscape was beautiful. Palm trees and fauna dotted the landscape. But the most astounding was the river.

After about half an hour, Daisy came to a river Luigi was fishing at. The river had quite a few fish in it, which was good news, but it had clean, fresh water that could be used for bathing. At the mouth of the river was a waterfall, which would make a perfect shower.

Luigi netted a fish. "Gotcha! Look at that!" The fish was about two pounds, Daisy estimated that it would have about one pound of meat when gutted.

Luigi: I wouldn't say I'm a good fisherman… I'd say I'm a _great_ fisherman. Been doing it forever.

Daisy walked on. She struck her machete on a few rocks, but none of them made sparks. She walked back to camp.

**Outcast, Monday**

The Outcasts got off of their boat. After checking their inventory, Ed and Birdo started building the shelter, Rosalina went off to explore, Funky Kong climbed a tree to post as a lookout, and Bro Mamma started looking for sticks to build a fire. They didn't need to look for flint, because Yoshi had brought a lighter as his luxury item.

A chilly wind broke in from the sea. Everyone was glad for the warmth of the fire. When the shelter was finished, it was about six in the afternoon.

Rosalina came back. "I see you've got a fire going. Good job." Rosalina acknowledged their good work. "But I found something even better. There are large clay deposits near here."

"Meaning?" Ed asked.

"Meaning, we can build a much more durable shelter by the time the week's out. It'll be safe from the wind and rain. By the time the week is out…" Rosalina chuckled. "…we'll be leaps and bounds above any other tribe."

Everyone cheered.

**Hero, Tuesday**

DK loaded his rifle and planned to go hunting when he noticed he had tree mail.

"Hey, guys! Tree mail!"

DK dropped his rifle to climb up the tree. Strapped to the coconut was a message:

"_The tides are turning…_" DK read aloud.

"_Only one who has endurance will have strength._

"_The tides are in…_

"_You'd better hurry._"

"Well, that's utterly confusing." Mario said.

Mario: Couldn't we have something be clear for once?

"I volunteer DK." Wario said.

"WHAT?" DK said.

DK: Look, I may be the strongest, but strength isn't everything!

"You do it, you coward. I need to keep hunting." DK wandered off.

"Fine." Wario took the note and walked toward the challenge ground.

"Bet you half my rice he doesn't make it." Bowser said to Mario.

"You're on."

Mario: Bowser said it loud enough that Wario could've heard him. And besides, Bowser's rations are HUGE. I figured I'd win more than I'd lose.

**Fire, Tuesday**

"I'll do it." Luigi volunteered.

"No, we need you to fish." Daisy said. "I think Waluigi should do this."

"Who, me?" Waluigi said, but he didn't look surprised.

"Yeah. You're probably the strongest person here who isn't really needed."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Waluigi said. He walked off to the challenge grounds.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

"So… who is doing this one?" Nobody raised their hand to Rosalina's question.

Rosalina: My tribe is made up of a bunch of lazy bums. I figured they'd sooner take a nap than win any Ancient Coins. So I'm doing this one myself.

**Coin Challenge**

Wario, Waluigi, and Rosalina changed into swimsuits in the locker rooms provided for them. They were told this would be a wet challenge.

As their boat sped out to what looked to be an oil rig, Waluigi noticed that there was a level crane with three hooks dangling over the water. And Jeff Koopa was standing on the platform, waving.

"Well, hello!" Jeff Koopa exclaimed.

So Jeff was back from jury duty.

"So I'm back from jury duty, just in time for the first challenge.

"Gaze upon the mighty ocean. The tide is in… but not for long. Each of you is to grab onto one of these hooks and hold on for as long as you can… but there is a catch. Each minute you've been hanging, the tide will roll in. Each minute, the hooks will begin to sway… until all but one of you will fall off. Good luck. Winner gets ten Ancient Coins, second place gets five, and the loser gets one."

Wario: I've never been good at hanging on to anything but money. This won't leave me bloody and scarred, but it'll come pretty close.

As soon as all three were harnessed in, the countdown began.

_One minute…_

"Guys you've been at this for one minute, here comes the tide."

Waluigi: At first, I had absolutely no idea what Jeff was talking about. Then came the swaying. I could almost immediately feel the burn in my arms.

_Two minutes…_

__Rosalina started making a very strange, distracting sound in the back of her throat.

Rosalina: This is nothing. I may not be the strongest in the world, but as a Star Queen, I pushed my endurance to the limit so many times throughout my life, I never get tired any more unless I'm doing something like manual labor. I was so confident I started playing a trick on the boys that I learned on another planet.

Wario: So I start hearing this noise, like a, *cooooooeeeeeeooooooeoooooo* and I have no idea where it's coming from. It started making it really hard to concentrate.

_Three minutes…_

"Three minutes, the tide's going to get much stronger."

The tide did. The crane was swaying so hard, Wario got flung off with a "Wha-_sloop_." He came up sputtering something about electric eels.

Wario: It was the sound that got me. I was trying to clean my ear when the big swaying started. I couldn't get my grip back.

Rosalina: I decided to pick up the intensity. I could have only hung there for a few minutes more, anyway, and I have no idea how Waluigi was doing.

Rosalina starts making a *EE EE EE EE EE EE* sound.

Waluigi: The first sound was okay. I mean, I could bear it. But then this really loud sound came up, like a computer error message magnified ten times that's endlessly repeating.

By this point, even Jeff was covering up his ears.

Waluigi: Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore.

Just after five minutes, Waluigi fell into the ocean with a large splash that made Rosalina think _ouch_.

The noise stopped.

"Well, well," Jeff half-yelled. Even Rosalina's hearing was partially gone as a result of her noise. "Rosalina, take this bag." Jeff handed Rosalina a burlap sack that contained ten coins. "I'll tell Wario and Waluigi that they'll find their bags at their camps. Go home and celebrate."

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Rosalina: Oh yeah, I won, oh yeah, I won, oh yeah, I won.

Rosalina passes the brush back into camp, holding her sack. She shakes it, and her tribemates cheer to the resulting noise.

Birdo: It feels tremendously good to win the first challenge. I feel like I can depend on Rosalina a lot more now.

Ed Sorenson: I think Rosalina would make a good leader. I spoke to the other tribe members, and they thought so, too.

"So, now that you're back we thought we would tell you…" Bro Mamma began, "That you've been chosen for tribe chief!"

Rosalina: It's not that I don't have experience being in power. I always like to say I rule wisely. And I'm certainly not going to turn down a nomination.

Rosalina got right to work. She set Ed to work improving the existing shelter, Bro Mamma tending to the fire, Birdo cooking light meals to be had every hour, and sent Yoshi to the clay pits to dig clay and shape it into bricks. Funky Kong was to entertain the tribe singing, dancing, and playing the guitar. Rosalina was to work setting the bricks out to dry in a safe spot.

Yoshi: I feel like our tribe is running smoothly. If we have this clay shelter up by the time we get our torch, we'll be safe and fortified, whereas the other teams will have crude shelters. But we'll have to remember to have enough Ancient Coins at the Auction to buy a lot of food, because we don't have anyone hunting, except maybe Birdo foraging some vegetables and showing them to Rosalina to make sure they're safe. At any rate, the Outcast tribe is at a distinct advantage.

**Hero, Tuesday**

"_One _coin?" Peach asked.

"You owe me." Bowser said to Mario.

Toad: We are in a predicament. Mario is mad at Wario for not finishing the challenge in first, Wario is mad at Bowser for betting he would lose, which he did, and Bowser is looking smug the whole time. I hope and pray we won't lose the Advantage challenge tomorrow, 'cause we will if it involves teamwork.

All of the tribemates looked at each other.

"Look," DK said. "We all make mistakes. Wario did his best. If we beat ourselves up because we lost a stupid Coin Challenge, we'll lose what's most important: the Advantage Challenge."

"I second that." Toad raised his hand. "We need to remain in high spirits. Remember: no one is allowed in the same Coin Challenge twice in a row. We'll do fine. Besides…" Toad lifted up what he had caught just before Wario came back. "Look what I caught!"

Toad was holding a string of nine fish he had caught. Everyone gasped. "Since I caught them, I get to decide who gets them. DK, Wario, and Bowser each get two. The rest of us get one. But first- has anyone got flint?"

Peach held up a bag of rocks she found. "Aren't these the rocks that matched your description?" Everyone gasped again. They were _all_ flint.

Mario: You know, even though we lost the challenge, we'll be full of protein and warmth by the end of the day today. And I'm _so_ looking forward to fried fish.

As Wario gutted the fish, Peach led a sing-along around Hero's new fire. Things were looking up.

**Fire, Tuesday**

"Five coins. Not too bad." Daisy commented, although she didn't look too happy.

Luigi: As long as I've know her, I still have yet to understand the limits of Daisy's want to win. Heck, she'd have held on to the hook so long she'd dislocate her arm!

Toadette made perfect rice.

"As far as rice goes, this is tasty, Toadette." Diddy Kong observed.

Toadette: See? I told you I could make good rice! If nothing else, keep me on for that!

Daisy: As far as I'm concerned, no one has the knowledge yet to invade another's camp. So we'd better win the challenge, or else. Luigi has proven himself to the tribe already, but I'm a little worried about Toadette.

After dinner, everyone went up to the Sunset Spot that Daisy had found, and named. It gave a perfect view of the sunset, and had a queer set of rocks that served as a table and stools. It was surrounded by trees and bushes, so there would be no wind. Facing the sunset was the waterfall that led to the fish-filled river. Daisy would've just been happy to sit and watch the sunset, but Luigi, Diddy Kong, Bowser Jr, and Waluigi were playing the Sorry game Luigi had brought as his luxury item.

"Check and mate." Waluigi said as he slid his last pawn into home.

Waluigi: I think playing Sorry was a good chance to connect with my tribemates. It helped us make merry and just enjoy ourselves. I think that we'll be in good shape for the Advantage Challenge.

**Advantage Challenge**

It was a bright Wednesday morning when the three teams met on the beach of their deserted island. Jeff was standing on a platform where three rocks were held suspended by ropes.

"Hello," Jeff said, "and welcome. Welcome, I might add, to the Reverse Piñata challenge.

"In this challenge, you each have a stick, each of them two inches in diameter. You must break the stick on the rock by hitting the rock hard. There are six sticks for each team, one for each tribe member. Everyone must take at least three swings with a stick, total, but then your strongest member can finish the rest of the sticks off for you. The prize for this challenge is a stew.

"This stew will be delivered to the winner at sundown. It is jammed-packed with nutrients, and is made by our finest chefs. It will keep for a day, two days if it's boiled every hour, but after that you must dispose of it. And don't blow this opportunity off, I'm sure some of you are already sick of rice. The loser will have to go to tribal council. Good luck to you all."

DK, Funky Kong and Bowser Jr. were up first.

Toadette: I feel we have a distinct disadvantage in this challenge. We don't have any strong members like DK or Funky Kong, and we didn't get much protein over the last few days. I heard Mario comment to me that they had stone-fried fish that Toad caught, which makes me extra worried. But my stress won't get us anywhere, so I'm giving it my all.

_GO!_

DK swung with all of his might, and broke his stick on his first try.

"Remember," Jeff chanted, "Each person has to swing at least three times, or the team will be disqualified."

Peach: I did a little jump for joy after I realized what happened. We've got this in the bag!

Funky Kong swung three times and managed to crack his stick. Bowser Jr. swung twice, enough to put a crack in his, then swung really hard and broke the stick.

Bowser Jr: I told everybody just after Jeff stopped talking that all we had to do was damage the stick in the first two swings, then bring it home at the end.

Next up was Bower, Rosalina and Diddy Kong.

Bowser made the mistake of breaking his stick on the second swing. Rosalina broke the stick on her third try, and so did Diddy.

DK: So, after the second round, we're at a disadvantage because we did _too_ much! What's up with that?

The third round comprised Toad, Toadette, and Bro Mamma. Bro Mamma broke her stick on the third try, but Toad and Toadette didn't put a dent in theirs.

Toad: So I didn't break my stick. The way I look at it, if I did, we would've been sent behind even further!

Jeff announced the scores. "It only counts if the player has swung three times. Team Hero: Zilch. Team Fire: Two. Team Outcast: One."

Next there was Wario, Waluigi, and Ed. Wario broke his on his third try, and so did Waluigi, but Ed only managed to put a crack in his.

Daisy: We were ahead by, like, a lot. Turns out the weakest team had the strongest strategy. I'll thank Bowser Jr. if we win.

After that there were Mario, Daisy, and Yoshi. They all did perfectly.

Diddy Kong: I'll have to admit, if DK and Bowser hadn't messed up their team at the start, we would've been creamed. I could almost taste the stew.

The sixth round comprised Peach, Luigi, and Birdo. Peach managed to put a crack in her stick, but it didn't break. Birdo and Luigi broke theirs on the third try.

"So," Jeff said, "after the sixth round, Team Hero has two, Team Fire has five, and team Outcast has three."

Rosalina: At this point, I'm hoping for second place. I neglected to form a strategy, and I'm paying dearly for it.

Round seven's contestant's were DK, Bowser Jr, and Funky Kong.

DK threw the first swing, but smashed the stick on the second try. Funky Kong smashed his cracked stick on the first try.

Bowser Jr. threw the first two swings.

Bowser Jr: I wanted to be dramatic, y'know? We were ahead by two points. Might as well go out with a bang.

Bowser Jr. Smashed the stick so hard into the rock that not only did the stick break, a large fragment of the rock fell off and shattered.

Bro Mamma: All of a sudden, this huge chunk of rock comes off and shatters on the ground. It kind of symbolized our hope of winning.

Bowser: After that, everybody was scrambling to break their sticks.

While the Fire tribe cheered and lifted Bowser Jr. onto their backs, Bowser and Rosalina stepped up to the plate.

Rosalina: If we lose a single point, we're dead. I don't want to send anybody home, mostly because everybody blames the leader, and I was recently put in that position.

Bowser Broke the stick on his first try. Rosalina swung with all her might. Her stick cracked, big-time, which made it easy for her to break it on her second try.

It all came down to Toad and Bro Mamma.

Yoshi: I have total faith in Bro Mamma. She's much more physically fit than Toad, so I had a good feeling she would come through.

Toad: I knew it was over even before I swung. But I might as well have broken it, just to make the score close.

Toad broke his stick on his third try. Bro Mamma broke hers on her first try.

"Congrats to the Fire and Outcast teams! You are both safe from elimination, until the next tribal council Wednesday. Fire, you will find a nice, warm stew in your cauldron to help you recuperate." Jeff looked at the Hero tribe. "Hero, I will see you at tribal council tonight."

**Fire, Wednesday**

Daisy: We were cheering so hard that it became hard to talk. We were all very happy with ourselves, and we held a toast to Bowser Jr.

Daisy raised her bowl of stew. "Here's to the best strategist on the team, and the reason we're enjoying this meal: Bowser Jr!" Daisy drank from her bowl, and broth ran down her cheeks.

"To Bowser Jr." Everyone repeated.

Bowser Jr: My face was completely red. I'd never known what it was like to be liked… It feels… good. *Tears up.*

The stew was delicious, so much so that everybody volunteered to take shifts to make sure it was boiled and safe to eat tomorrow.

Waluigi: We are so high in spirits. I guess that's what the stew does. I'm so happy, I feel like I'm going to cry…

Diddy Kong: This was the best thing that ever happened to this team. I have a feeling that it's going to keep happening.

When the moon shone high above the horizon, the Fire tribe called it quits. But not without Luigi giving a speech.

"We will look upon this day and laugh. We won't laugh for the same reasons. As of tonight, it only gets harder. So what do we do? We _try_ harder. We _work_ harder. We add intensity to all that we do. Because I can guarantee you, the Royal survivor will be one of _us_!"

**Hero, Tribal Council**

Jeff met the Hero tribe on the dark side of the island. He handed each member a torch. "Fire represents life. If your torch goes out, so do you.

"Each of you will write a name down on a peace of paper, the name of the person you want most to go home. This person does not have to be the weakest. Keep in mind, throughout the game, that there can only be one Royal Survivor."

He directed each of the survivors to a school-type desk and chair, both made out of bamboo. He handed them each a slip of paper and a pen. Jeff sat down at a much bigger desk that was facing all of the others and patiently waited. A small fire separated Jeff from the survivors.

Wario wrote down Toad's name.

Wario: Sorry, buddy, but you utterly sucked in the Advantage Challenge. You're of no use to us.

Toad wrote down Peach's name.

Toad: You can't live like a princess out here. You can do the work, but I think you're not suited to this lifestyle.

Peach wrote down Toad's name.

Peach: I love you dearly, but you can't do the work like everyone else can.

Jeff collected all of the slips of paper. He read each of them aloud.

"Toad." Toad looked nervous.

"Peach." Peach looked stunned and indignant that anyone would write her name down.

"Toad." Toad looked slightly more nervous now.

"Wario." Wario looked up from picking his nose.

"Peach." Peach was grasping the sides of her desk like she was on a rollercoaster.

"And the first person to leave Royal Survivor is…

"Toad. You will depart immediately. Will you leave your luxury item with your tribemates who betrayed you?" Jeff asked as he snuffed Toad's torch.

"As much as I despise you all for voting me off, I won't allow you to be bored. You can keep the chess set." Toad said in disgust.

Toad walked somberly out of the Tribal council.

Toad: Y'know, I would've liked to win the million coin prize, but I was starting to miss the busier life of the Mushroom Kingdom real estate agency. Screw the Hero tribe. I'm rooting for Toadette all the way!

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Depression sets in on the Hero tribe._

Bowser: Saying we were in low spirits is an understatement.

Mario: If I was grading work effort, we'd probably get a D.

_The Outcast tribe gets a little ahead on its project._

"High-fives all around, and the rest of the day off." Rosalina stated. "What was to be finished two days after today was completed."

DK: I am seriously, hopelessly worried. How do we beat 'em now?

_And a reconnaissance mission goes horribly, horribly wrong._

"I might've seen some things…" Funky Kong said sheepishly.

Rosalina slapped her forehead. "Mother of _"

Daisy: He violated my privacy, desecrated my only relaxation spot, and scarred me emotionally for life. I won't stop until I see blood. _His_ blood_._

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	3. Episode Two

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Tensions run high in all tribes._

Toad: Mario is a self-absorbed brat. End of story.

Rosalina: My tribe is made up of a bunch of lazy bums.

_Rosalina wins the Coin Challenge using her annoying skill, and the Outcast tribe celebrates._

Wario: It was the sound that got me.

Rosalina: Oh yeah, I won, oh yeah, I won.

_The Hero tribe starts to fall apart, which affects them in the Advantage challenge._

Toad: We are in a predicament. Mario is mad at Wario for not finishing the challenge in first, Wario is mad at Bowser for betting he would lose, which he did, and Bowser is looking smug the whole time.

DK: We're at a disadvantage because we did _too_ much! What's up with that?

_Fire enjoys its reward._

Waluigi: We are so high in spirits. I guess that's what the stew does. I feel solid. It's the best I've felt since I came to the island.

Diddy Kong: This was the best thing that ever happened to this team. I have a feeling that it's going to keep happening.

"We will look upon this day and laugh. We won't laugh for the same reasons. As of tonight, it only gets harder. So what do we do? We _try_ harder. We _work_ harder. We add intensity to all that we do. Because I can guarantee you, the Royal Survivor will be one of _us_!"

_And Toad was voted off._

Toad: Screw the Hero tribe. I'm rooting for Toadette all the way!

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Outcast, Wednesday**

Rosalina: We were almost sent to the elimination room. I won't let that happen again. I got us all to work on the shelter for the rest of the day. The plan was to have it finished on Saturday. Sadly, some people don't like to cooperate.

Funky Kong was hanging out in a tree strumming his guitar.

Rosalina: Fortunately, I have some experience handling disobedient kids.

"Hey, Funky, what'cha doing?" Rosalina asked.

"Nothin." Funky Kong answered absentmindedly.

"Say, do you have any military video games?"

"A few. Halo. Call of Duty. A few others."

Funky Kong: Don't judge me.

"Do any of those have, I dunno, spies in them?"

"Not really."

"Would you like to try it?"

"How?" Funky Kong was intrigued.

"I need you to go to the Hero tribe's territory and watch them. See what their doing. Think you can handle that?"

"Can I?" Funky Kong asked sarcastically. He swung from the trees toward the Hero tribe.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Rosalina: Funky Kong came back yesterday and brought some ripe bananas, which are a nice bonus considering we only have one more rice ration after today. So we ate and we slept, but Funky Kong was gone in the morning. I looked, but couldn't find him. Oh well. He's bound to be somewhere performing reconnaissance.

**Fire, Thursday.**

Daisy wakes up and greets Toadette, who was watching over the stew and boiling it.

Daisy: I feel a little overstuffed. I have a feeling that the others will want to lie around all day playing Sorry and eating stew, which is fine by me. We still have two rice rations and all of our cans of tomatoes.

Luigi is snoring next to Diddy Kong, who is snoring louder.

Daisy walked up to Bowser Jr. at the Sunset Spot. He was watching the waves out on the beach, and drawing shapes in the sand with his dagger.

"Hey." Daisy said.

"Hmm. Wondering why I'm up early?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"Not really, but tell me anyway."

"I couldn't get to sleep. I offered to take watch for Toadette, but she's a little… protective of the stew."

They sat in silence for a while.

"Tell you what." Bowser Jr. said. "You take the day off. You earned it."

"What? I can't-"

"Last night you said you owed me. Honor that by taking the day off. Beauty sleep, y'know? We need you rested for the Coin Challenge sometime today."

Daisy couldn't turn down an offer like this, so she told everyone not to follow her and left camp.

"So, I'm in charge for the time being." Bowser Jr. said. "We need work, work, work, on the shelter and on hunting. Anyone caught resting without my permission turns half their rice over to a person I choose."

Waluigi: Bowser Jr's a sneaky little devil. He knew Daisy would just let us lay around, which would put us behind the other tribes. I think he should be the tribe chief, and not Daisy. But, y'know, I'm a sneaky devil, too. Maybe I'll take charge in a bit. I mean, when I feel like it.

Bowser Jr. let the tribe eat the rest of the stew. Toadette was sent to clean the pot while Luigi and Diddy were sent hunting. Bowser Jr. went with Waluigi to improve their shelter, which as of late was a tee-pee-style hut made out of bamboo and covered with palm leaves. Bowser Jr. wanted to expand it so that it would fit a firepit.

_One hour later…_

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Toadette: So I was checking inventory when I heard this high-pitched scream. It chilled me right to the bones.

Luigi: I was bringing back a dead Spiny when I heard a scream, kind of like a banshee watching a horror movie. I traced the direction of the scream, and that's when I knew.

Bowser Jr: Daisy's scream could be heard for miles. I told everyone to drop the work and head in that direction. I know Daisy told us not to, but I'm pretty sure this would be an exception.

Daisy was found hurriedly throwing on some clothes.

"I was there, and now he's there, and he caught me-" Daisy broke into hysterical crying.

"It's okay, baby, calm down…" Luigi said, holding Daisy in his arms.

Diddy Kong: Whatever upset Daisy like that was enough to upset us, too. I mean, she was… _is_ the backbone of our team. That back is pretty sore right now.

Luigi led Daisy to the half finished shelter. No one was in the mood to work, but they had to do it anyway. A storm looked like it was coming, and nobody wanted to be all wet.

Waluigi: I haven't known Daisy enough to be sure, but she seems like the person who _never_ acts this way. But I do know her well enough to know that she will exact revenge on whoever upset her. Whoever did this will pay, one way or another.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Funky Kong came back and hid in a tree. No one else noticed.

All of the other people were working on the shelter. Yoshi was delivering the now dried blocks, Rosalina, who always takes the dirtiest job, was mixing mud with gravel, Birdo was gathering wood and chopping it up into planks with the axe she had brought as her luxury item for the roof, and Bro Mamma and Ed were stacking the clay blocks on top of each other, using the mud-and-gravel mix as cement.

Yoshi: I think we might get this done today. Each clay block is about one cubic foot, so we don't need that many. We made sure yesterday that we had a lot. And by a lot, I mean enough to fill up your bedroom. They are all dry, but very brittle. In the future, we'll fortify the exterior with fired clay blocks, but for right now we just want to get the thing built.

Rosalina noticed Funky Kong and went up to see him.

"Find anything interesting?" She asked politely.

"I might've seen some things…" Funky Kong said sheepishly.

"What kind of things?" Rosalina inquired.

Bro Mamma: The conversation between them lasted forever. I'd bet that Funky was trying to get Rosalina to give up, but that part of Rosalina's brain didn't develop (or so I'm told by Birdo). Funky Kong eventually said something that set Rosalina off.

Rosalina slapped her forehead. "Mother of _"

At the construction site, some giggling could be heard.

Birdo: We were all chuckling and giggling like a bunch of shcoolkids. We were kind of embarrassed by it later.

"Hey, chill." Funky Kong said. "It's no big deal."

Rosalina was red in the face. "No _ing big deal? Because of your _ing 'no big deal' we are _ed. All our plans are _ed because of your _ing retardation. Go _ yourself." Rosalina stormed off. The rest of the tribe didn't know whether or not to continue working, until they heard from the distance "GET THE _ BACK TO WORK!"

Rosalina: From now on, when you ask me how to handle disobedient children, I'm going to tell you I don't know. Funky Kong has screwed us all.

**Hero, Thursday**

DK was spying on the Fire tribe when he saw the scene unfold. He saw Funky Kong racing through the trees like heck. DK stifled a laugh. This was the best thing that could happen to the Hero tribe.

DK raced back to camp. It didn't reflect his happiness. DK's tribemates were mulling around, wondering what to do.

Bowser: Saying we were in low spirits is an understatement. We lost both challenges, and Toad is gone. Not that I ever liked the little… pest, but there's now less people to help build the shelter, and there's a storm coming.

Mario: I'll have to admit I was the only one working on the shelter. Peach and Bowser were lying in the shade, Wario was hunting, and DK was spying on the Fire tribe. If I was grading work effort, we'd probably get a D. I now wish I'd brought a whip for my luxury item.

DK swung over and began handing Mario materials.

"Back so soon?" Mario asked.

"Didn't want to get caught in the commotion." DK answered.

"What kind of commotion?"

"It's Daisy, man she's-"

"What about Daisy?" Peach was over there like a shot.

DK: I'll start advertising Peach like this: Princess Peach, she goes from 0 to 60 in seconds.

While DK was startled, Mario simply said, "DK will continue if you start covering this spot with leaves." Mario pointed to a larger section of the shelter, obviously for Bowser.

"Fine." Peach began covering the skeleton of the shelter. "Continue."

"Anyway," DK began, "Daisy was, like, spiraling. No clue what happened, although I saw Funky Kong, like, trying to get out of there as quick as possible. In the confusion, we might be able to win the challenge."

"Hey!" Bowser yelled. "Tree mail!"

Bowser pounded his fist on the coconut tree and let loose a hoard of coconuts, but the one with the message was fortunately on top.

Bowser began reading.

"_There are wide days._

"_There are narrow days._

"_The days only get narrower…_

"_Only someone who can fit will get through."_

"Wow…" Peach stated. "That makes about as much sense as the last time."

"If only Toad were here…" DK mused.

"He's not." Mario said, to the point. "We need someone with grace."

Everyone looked at Peach.

"Who… me?" Peach squeaked.

Peach: I can't believe grace is something assumed of a princess. I got all _my _grace through hard work, and considering I don't work very hard, that doesn't really mean anything!

"I don't believe this…" Peach grumbled as she walked to the challenge grounds.

**Fire, Thursday**

"Toadette." Everybody but Toadette said in unison.

"Whatever. Don't be mad at me if I lose." Toadette grumbled.

Toadette: I have a feeling that they're going to be mad at me if I lose.

**Outcast, Thursday**

"I think Ed should go." Yoshi said. "He's the smallest one here."

"I would go if I could go twice in a row," Rosalina began, "but since I can't, Bro Mamma should go. She's very stable and hardcore."

"I second that." Birdo said.

"Well, well," Bro Mamma. "Time for me to step up to the plate."

Bro mamma leisurely walked off to the grounds.

**Coin Challenge**

Peach, Toadette, and Bro Mamma were escorted to the beach, where a balancing beam about a foot across branched out from the beach and out over the water.

Toadette: Oh God, I'm going to be terrible at this. I've had trouble balancing forever. That, and I'm mildly hydrophobic. 

Jeff was standing nearby. "Good afternoon." he said. "But I suppose you want me to get right to the point.

"This balancing beam juts out into the heart of the ocean for about fifty feet. The width of it starts at a foot, but gradually decreases to six inches. At the end of the beam is a canoe. The first person to beach their canoe wins. The winner gets fifteen coins, second place gets seven, and the loser gets two."

Peach, Toadette, and Bro Mamma assumed their positions.

Bro Mamma: This is child's play for a Hammer Bro. Heck, we have to jump fifteen feet in the air, throw a hammer, come back down _twenty_ feet and have to _keep_ throwing!

_GO!_

While Toadette and Peach got off to a wobbly start, Bro Mamma walked normally, one foot in front of the other, about five times as fast as the other contestants.

Peach: As soon as I saw Bro Mamma shoot off like that, I knew it was over. I was pretty much competing for second place.

Toadette fell off with a large splash. She came up sputtering and saying she was drowning, even though she could stand.

Toadette: I'll never live that down. Considering how short I am, the water must be pretty shallow for me to be able to stand.

Peach was stuck in the middle, advancing quick enough to keep her lead over Toadette, which wasn't saying much. Peach stopped every now and then to regain her balance.

Bro Mamma reached her canoe very fast. She made the mistake of looking over the side.

Bro Mamma: I have a severe fear of aquatic animals. It was kind of hard to steady the boat, and my breathing, after that.

Peach noticed that Bro Mamma's canoe wasn't moving. She saw her chance.

Peach: I knew that I couldn't lose to Toadette, so I figured, what the heck?

Peach picked up her speed. She made it into her canoe quickly, just as Bro Mamma regained her wits.

"Just like old times?" Bro Mamma asked.

"What old times?" Peach asked, confused.

"The times where I beat you miserably."

"Oh, you mean the times that didn't exist?"

"We'll find that out soon enough."

The race began.

Bro Mamma pulled out an early lead. She was much stronger than Peach and had more determination.

"Eyes on the prize." Bro Mamma repeated to herself. "Eyes on the prize, eyes on the prize…"

Peach gave up to hopelessness. There was no way.

What saved Peach was a flying fish that jumped over Bro Mamma's canoe, right in front of her head. It shook her up so bad that she fell out of the canoe. Bro Mamma tried to get back in, but only succeeded in flipping her small vessel over.

Peach saw her chance. She paddled to the finish.

"Congrats to you, Peach." Jeff said as he handed Peach the burlap sack of fifteen Ancient Coins. "You have won the Coin Challenge."

Bro Mamma paddled in and beached her canoe. She snatched her burlap sack of coins and stormed off. Meanwhile, Toadette was trying to cross the beam with her eyes closed, which wasn't working too well for her. Jeff yelled to her and startled her, which made her fall off and go into a fit again.

**Hero, Thursday**

Peach walked into camp and gathered everybody around. She shook her bag, which made a _jingle_ sound.

"Wait, is that a good jingle or a bad jingle?" Wario asked.

"You tell me." Peach said, opening the bag and spilling the fifteen coins into Wario's open hands.

The tribe cheered. They took a momentary break from their work to listen to the challenge in Peach's words.

DK: I'm 100% sure that Peach was twisting the details to make it sound like she crushed the competition, but it was still entertaining to hear.

Mario: At any rate, this was a morale booster. A big one. We decided to give Peach the rest of the day off.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Bro Mamma stormed into camp and thrust the sack into Ed's hands. Ed counted the coins. There were seven. Ed was assuming that Bro Mamma had gotten second place and was mad about it. Ed went to Rosalina, who was working on the roof of the shelter.

"YO!" Ed yelled up.

Rosalina paused from hammering in crude nails and looked down at Ed. "What's up?"

"We got second place! Seven Ancient Coins!"

Rosalina blew hair from her face. "Figures."

Rosalina: I can't trust anybody to finish anything right around here. That's why I'm in charge, and Ed's second in command. If that kid knows anything, it's how to follow orders.

"Gather the Outcast tribe." Rosalina said. "This is something they don't want to miss."

Ed spread the word, and in minutes, Bro Mamma, Yoshi, and Birdo were gathered around the shelter. Rosalina dramatically hammered in the final nail.

"High-fives all around, and the rest of the day off." Rosalina stated. "What was to be finished two days after today was completed."

The tribe cheered and high-fived each other. It was perfect timing, because just then it started to rain. Everyone crowded inside.

**Hero, Thursday**

DK watched the scene unfold.

DK: I am seriously, hopelessly worried. How do we beat 'em now? I mean, their shelter wouldn't withstand a well-placed kick, but heck, our shelter wouldn't withstand a well-placed nudge! Added to the fact that they're definitely going to fortify their shelter later in the game, we are in a heck of a lot of trouble.

DK raced back to camp, where everyone huddled inside their lean-to. DK crowded inside.

"So, DK, we were thinking of a way to get the advantage back in this game." Mario said.

"I'm listening." DK said.

"Anyway," Wario said, "from the info you provided us, we think that the Outcast and Fire tribes are on the verge of destroying each other. All they need is someone to blame."

"Interesting… who?"

"Funky Kong."

"What? My cousin?" DK yelled.

"Sh-sh-shh!" Peach whispered. "Not so loud! And yes, Funky Kong. We have every reason to believe that he was the spark that lighted the fire, if you know what I mean."

"You're saying that I tell the Fire tribe Funky Kong did it?"

"Yes." Bowser said. "It'll leave both tribes open to getting their torches stolen."

"Maybe the Fire tribe," DK explained, "but the Outcast tribe completed solid clay-and-wood structure just before the rain."

"WHAT?" Wario bellowed. "How?"

"Shh! They're focused…" DK said, looking at Peach, "and they work." DK said, looking at Bowser. "They used clay from some nearby pits as bricks and mud mixed with gravel for cement. They created a wooden roof made out of real planks because Birdo had brought an axe as her luxury item. All in all, it really isn't that strong, but it's much stronger than ours and there's no doubt that they're not going to stop fortifying here."

The tribemates looked at each other in silence.

Wario: We're screwed.

**Fire, Thursday**

Toadette came into camp with two coins. Diddy took them, and hid them away in their secret stash.

Over at the shelter, Waluigi and Bowser Jr. were working on it, but you could still see Daisy, pale and shaking, being fed rice by Luigi.

Luigi: A loss isn't what we need right now. We're going to keep trying and hope for the best, but I have a feeling we're going to Tribal Council next week, and if Daisy isn't ship-shape by then, I'm going to have to send her home, for her sake.

"Come, on, Daisy, it's Toadette's rice." Luigi said softly, sadly. "You know it's good stuff."

Luigi put the spoon near Daisy's mouth, and she instinctively chews and swallows it.

Bowser Jr: I feel partially responsible for Daisy's condition. I'm the one who told her to take a break. She wasn't the same when she came back. I wish I could see into the future, but for right now I'm stuck not knowing. I just want to get the shelter done before the rain starts.

Fortunately, just as they were putting the last leaves over top, the first raindrops fell. Everyone rushed inside.

Waluigi: The sun was setting as we rushed inside, I could see it's glow on the horizon. But because of the rain, and the amount of space the firepit took up in the shelter, there's not going to be any sorry tonight. We really need a morale booster, and quick.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Everyone gasped when they went inside.

Birdo: As far as shelters go, ours was _awesome_. There were six beds, total, two on each wall. Each of them were labeled with charcoal. Pleasantly, I found mine next to Yoshi's. Funky Kong's was next to Bro Mamma, and below a torch holder, there were Rosalina's and Ed's. In the center was a firepit, close enough to keep everyone warm, but far enough away so that there was some extra room. By the door, the cauldron hung on a rack and some firewood was piled.

"My treat." Rosalina said. "You'll see that the last ration of rice is in the cauldron, so we need to do some _major_ hunting tomorrow. The beds are made up of some moss, with woven vines, courtesy of Bro Mamma."

"Thank you very much." Bro Mamma said.

"Any time. Sleep tight, and have a good night. Half of us will be hunting tomorrow, two of us will be gutting, and one will be using the meat to cook."

Rosalina: Most of us desperately need protein right now. I don't, but I want to keep my tribemates healthy. At any rate, we're in good shape.

**Hero, Friday**

Everyone woke up and squished outside.

Bowser: You'd think we were accustomed to sleeping outdoors by now. Well, we're not. Out fire went out, so it's freezing, and there's probably not going to be any dry wood until midday, if it's sunny.

Mario: I-I'm s-s-so c-cold…

Peach: I wish I'd brought a winter coat, but I decided against it because one, it might've caught fire, and two, it would get all wet. Those reasons still stand, but I would like to be warm and dry right now… brrrr…

DK: I think Bowser's the only one not sub-zero right now. Either it's all that bulk, or he trained himself not to shiver. I'd guess the former, because he lives in a castle surrounded by lava.

**Fire, Friday**

Everyone woke up, looked outside, and decided they'd take the day off.

Bowser Jr: I never thought rocks could get soaking wet, but nature proved me wrong.

Waluigi: It's a good thing I brought in some extra firewood, flint, and my machete, because our fire died out overnight and there's not going to be any dry wood for a while.

Waluigi lit the fire, and everyone else huddled around for warmth. Daisy did, too, but she frowned like she didn't like being around her tribemates.

Diddy Kong: As far as I could tell, Daisy was back to normal. But she never frowns like that, and she occasionally looked at one of us with distaste, as if… she didn't trust us. What if… Nah.

**Outcast, Friday**

Nobody wanted to go hunting out in the cold and wetness, but since all of their rations were out, they had no choice.

"I'll take Yoshi, Funky, and myself." Rosalina said. "Bro Mamma, you've survived in the wilderness before, haven't you?"

"Yup. I'll teach Ed how to gut." Bro Mamma said. Ed didn't look too happy about that.

"Let me know if any of them are being a bother. I'm fine with giving them a smaller portion of dinner tonight."

"Roger."

Rosalina walked down to the beach with Funky Kong and Yoshi. She equipped them all with finely sharpened spears she had made the other day.

Cataquacks lined the beach.

"The trick with a cataquack is never to get very close. They'll flip you over, which, if you're not prepared for it, you can get injured. The best way to kill them is using bait, and then sneaking up on it and stabbing it." Rosalina explained. She isolated a cataquack on the edge of the beach. She ushered Funky Kong and Yoshi over.

"Funky, you're going to serve as live bait."

"Me?" Funky Kong whispered loudly.

"Yes, you. As I recalled the other day, you did something unforgivable, and this will serve as part of the penance."

"And what if I don't want to?"

Rosalina looked angrily at Funky Kong, and her eyes flared with green fire.

Funky Kong: Making me serve as live bait was really uncool, but that green-fire thing creeped me out enough to just do it so she wouldn't do something uncool-er.

Yoshi: What Funky Kong did must've been really bad, for Rosalina to scare him like that and make him serve as live bait. I've never seen Rosalina this ticked off before, but then again, I haven't seen her swear like what she did yesterday before, either.

Funky Kong handed his spear to Rosalina. He cautiously walked up to the cataquack. It noticed him, and quickly approached him. Funky Kong closed his eyes and braced himself to be thrown ten feet up in the air.

_Swick!_

"Quack?"

Funky Kong opened his eyes and saw the cataquack, dead, before him. It was bleeding so hardly that the red liquid colored his toes, which made Funky Kong gag.

"See?" Rosalina asked. "That wasn't so bad."

**Hero, Saturday**

Wario: We all felt kind of sick from eating old Spiny meat, but none of us were hit so bad we had to bend over. Everything was dry by today, and we all felt relatively refreshed from taking the day off.

DK: I noticed the Tree Mail about ten second after we were outside.

DK didn't bother to tell the tribemates about the tree mail. He read it silently.

_War is overrated._

_This is the tug of death._

_Send your strongest._

_But not too strong._

"Bowser." DK said.

Bowser, who was looking over DK's shoulder. He frowned and crossed his arms. "'But not too strong. I think strong and weak players both have a disadvantage in this challenge."

"Then who?"

"I volunteer." Mario said.

DK: Figures. Mario was looking for an opportunity to prove himself all week. If he's not careful, he might convince everybody he's a threat. It's not the position you want to be in this game, unless your tribe never goes to Tribal Council.

**Fire, Saturday**

"I vote for Luigi." Diddy Kong said.

"No way, I'm doing this one." Daisy scowled. "I can't trust Luigi to do it right."

Luigi: Something is seriously wrong here. What did Daisy just say?

Daisy: There's no way I'm going to let anyone else do the hard work. They'd just mess it up.

**Outcast, Saturday**

"I'll handle this one." Rosalina stated. "Funky, you help gut the cataquack. Yoshi, work with Birdo."

Funky Kong: She didn't even give us a _chance_ to do this, man. I'm starting to think that she doesn't trust us. Me especially.

Ed: I'm happy with Rosalina going to win for us, or take the fall if we lose. If I can prove I'm an asset to this team without being so much as a threat, I'll glide through Survivor with no trouble at all.

**Coin Challenge**

On the beach there was a bed of gravel. The players, Mario, Daisy, and Rosalina, each stood at their own portion of a red line. They picked up a thin hempen rope, no more that a half an inch in diameter, which was attached to a cement block some twenty feet away.

Jeff was standing on a platform nearby the contestants. "Hello." He said simply. "I hope you realize why a strong person wouldn't do well in this challenge of finesse and patience."

Mario: If Bowser just picked up on of those ropes, it would've disintegrated in his hands. I knew I was the right person to pick.

"There is a thin rope attached to a cement block, as you can see. Your job is to pull the rock toward you and lift it over your head. If your rope breaks, you cross over the red line, or you lift up the block before it passes the red line, you're disqualified. First place is twenty Ancient Coins, second ten, loser three. Gook luck."

Daisy: I plan to go relatively fast. If I slow down, Rosalina's bound to get me, so I have to pull fast but smooth.

_GO!_

Mario pulled an early lead. His block was about halfway to the finish when his rope broke.

"Holy _!" Mario said, then quickly covered up his mouth.

"Third place goes to Mario," Jeff yelled. "It's still anybody's game, though!"

Daisy pulled ahead of Rosalina.

Daisy: I was so angry I didn't notice I'd pulled ahead. Don't ask me why I was angry.

Daisy lifted the block over her head, just before Rosalina got hers past the red line.

"Congratulations, Daisy, you have earned…" Jeff quickly glanced at Daisy's feet. "second place."

Daisy almost threw the block at Jeff. "What the _ are you talking about?" Daisy yelled, red in the face.

Rosalina: And Funky Kong thinks _I_ need to cool it.

"Hold your tongue, and look at your feet." Jeff calmly answered.

Daisy's feet were located just a couple inches across the red line. She was fuming.

"Rosalina, if you may." Jeff said.

Rosalina made a big show about not being able to lift up the block. "Ooh, it's _soooo _heavy…" Rosalina made a realistic _crik_ sound. "Ohhhhh, my back…"

Rosalina: This went on for a couple minutes. I admit I was a bit of a jerk about it, but hey, it's Survivor. Being a jerk is what it's all about.

Mario: Rosalina was _hilarious_. I broke out laughing when I realized she was faking.

Even Jeff was chuckling.

Finally Daisy couldn't take it anymore. "JUST LIFT THE _ING BLOCK!"

Rosalina shrugged. "Okay." She lifted the block effortlessly and held it up with one hand.

Daisy started crying, and kneeled down. "It's… i-it's always the Outcasts…"

Rosalina: Seeing Daisy start crying in defeat made me want to start crying, too. They were tears of joy, of course.

Mario: This kind of thing really makes you think. Like thinking of how we're going to drive the Fire tribe into oblivion! Woo-hoo!

Rosalina took her bag of twenty coins. "Thank you, thank you, hold your applause…" Mario applauded anyway. Rosalina bowed, and walked off.

**Fire, Saturday**

Luigi: So when I saw Daisy come back from the challenge, she was sniffling and her face was tear-streaked and she was an utter wreck. I somehow knew she would come back this way, but I tried to do all that I could. after a few minutes, she was back to normal or at least the bossy-mean-selfish person she was this morning.

Daisy: I only saw the shadow of a person, but I can be sure he caught me. He violated my privacy, desecrated my only relaxation spot, and scarred me emotionally for life. I won't stop until I see blood. _His_ blood_._

Bowser Jr: I had to work _really_ hard to get everyone to work. It's amazing how fast a well-fed, good-spirited tribe can fall into depression when one of its tribe members goes whacky.

"So," Luigi began, "The auction is in a fifteen minutes. Waluigi, you're our most financially educated person. You're going." Luigi handed Waluigi the bag of seventeen Ancient Coins.

Waluigi walked off, wondering how much money the other tribes had.

**Outcast, Saturday**

Rosalina came back and all of the tribe members crowded around her. She looked really sad. Everyone assumed she'd lost.

Then Rosalina started laughing. She held out a bloated bag of coins, and all of the other members started cheering.

Birdo: Rosalina's going to the auction. She deserves it.

Rosalina walked off, a swagger in her step, with the thirty-seven coins she collected.

**Hero, Saturday**

Mario came back holding three coins. Wario groaned.

Wario: If you want to make friends in this game, you do two things: Be friendly, and _don't lose any challenges_. At this rate, I'd sooner keep Peach in than Mario.

DK: We chose Wario to go to the challenge, because he knows money. If Wario knows anything, it's money. Also, he's a perfect scapegoat.

Wario marched off huddling the nineteen coins he was carrying.

**Auction**

Jeff was waiting at the challenge grounds. He was sitting at a table where five metal dishes covered with a matching dome-shape cover. There were three chairs facing the table. Each player sat in one.

"Welcome to your first auction." Jeff said. "Here's how it works.

"There are five items, each individually priced. The bidding will start at a certain price. You can drive each other higher, but the first person who bids twice the original price automatically gets that item. There are two food items and three items that will help you get on with your daily lives.

"Each picture represents what you will get, and I will explain what it is, also. You won't get what you pay for until tomorrow. It will be neat and packaged. But each of you will get one of these." Jeff held up three torches, one yellow, one orange, one green. "These are your tribe torches. I believe my apprentice, Ben, explained.

"Fire represents life. If your torch goes out, so do you. If this torch goes out, though, you can relight it and start again. Each torch burns for one week. You will get a new one at the end of each auction.

"If another tribe burns your torch, you will be sent to Tribal Council after the next Advantage Challenge, unless another team's torch is burned. If your torch is burned, then you will receive another one after Tribal Council.

"I will also take this opportunity to let you know: Any tribe that had less than two members remaining will dissolve into another tribe after a special Merge Challenge, which the dissolving tribe may not compete in.

"Now, let us begin. The first item is…" Jeff lifted up the first cover on Waluigi's left to reveal a picture of a brownie. "A tray of brownies for each tribe member. Let the bidding start at five Ancient Coins."

Rosalina: I have a feeling that this is a trick. It would be just like Jeff to have us spend all of our money on the first item and not have any left at the end. But I like brownies, so I'll bid for a little.

"Five." Rosalina said.

"Six." Wario said.

"Seven." Rosalina said.

"Eight." Wario said.

Rosalina smiled at Wario.

Wario: I didn't know until later that I'd nearly spent half my coins on brownies!

"Going once, going twice… SOLD! To Wario. Eight coins, please." Wario handed Jeff the money.

Jeff covered up the first tray with it's cover and put a big yellow sticker on it. "Next item…" Jeff revealed a picture of binoculars. "Some regular binoculars. The bidding starts at seven coins."

Waluigi: We are _seriously_ behind on spying. This is something Diddy could use, a lot.

Rosalina: I had a sense this was between me and Waluigi. I drove him a hard bargain on purpose because I don't trust Funky Kong, even though everyone thinks I do.

"Seven." Rosalina said.

"Eight." Waluigi said.

"Nine."

"Ten."

Rosalina leaned back in her chair.

"SOLD! To Waluigi." Jeff put a big orange sticker on the cover. "Next on the list…" Jeff revealed a picture of a pile of rice. "Five rice rations. Five coins."

Rosalina: Finally, something we could use.

Wario: I didn't come all this way to bargain for rice. I didn't even bother.

"Five." Rosalina said.

Jeff waited. "Really? No one to top Rosalina's bid?"

Silence.

"Well, then… SOLD! To Rosalina." Jeff slapped a green sticker onto the cover. "Onto the next one." Jeff lifted up the cover of the fourth one to reveal a picture of a multitude of office supplies. "Office supplies. Paper. Pencils. Staplers. Scissors. The works. Nothing electronic, obviously. Three coins."

"Six." Rosalina said.

Rosalina: Those were severely underpriced. I cannot even begin to imagine the possible uses for office supplies like that.

Waluigi: Rosalina is a jerk, but smart. I would've gone for those supplies if she hadn't bid the max amount.

"SOLD! To Rosalina." Jeff placed a green sticker on that one, also. "The final and most important one is…" Jeff exposed a picture of a bed.

Everyone gasped.

"A bed for each tribe member. They're basic. They have a pillow, thin mattress, and a comforter. Fifteen coins."

Rosalina: Ha-ha! We got this in the bag! Ahh, fresh pillows…

Wario: Come on, man. Fifteen coins? I barely had that to start!

Waluigi: Rosalina easily got the beds with about nine coins to spare. Coupled with what Daisy was murmuring about the Outcast tribe, I'm starting to despise them.

"SOLD! To Rosalina. Enjoy it. It'll come in the morning.

"Until I see you all again, next week. I hope you'll put what I've given you to good use. Have a good one," Jeff said.

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_All of the tribes enjoy their rewards…_

Peach's lips were covered in chocolate. "Mmm… these are dee-lish!"

"As you have probably already noticed, we have beds!"

Everyone in the Outcast tribe cheered.

…_except Fire._

Luigi was furious. "You got us a _ing pair of binoculars?"

Bowser Jr: I honestly thought that Waluigi could've done better than that.

_The Outcast tribe finds a security system._

Rosalina: Turns out this type of root, when burned, produces a sweet-smelling smoke that knocks you out for twelve hours.

Yoshi: Everyone's hooked on the security-system idea.

_Team Fire finds out who messed them up._

The words, 'Funky Kong' were spelled rather sloppily on the parchment that looked like it was from a book.

Daisy: By the time we're through with them, 'Outcast' will be a swear word.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	4. Episode Three

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Daisy gets sent into a mental spiral…_

"I was there, and now he's there, and he caught me-" Daisy broke into hysterical crying.

Daisy started crying, and kneeled down. "It's… i-it's always the Outcasts…"

…_and the other tribes celebrate._

Rosalina: Seeing Daisy start crying in defeat made me want to start crying, too. They were tears of joy, of course.

Mario: This kind of thing really makes you think. Like thinking of how we're going to drive the Fire tribe into oblivion! Woo-hoo!

_The Hero tribe plots its revenge._

"So, DK, we were thinking of a way to get the advantage back in this game." Mario said.

"I'm listening." DK said.

"Anyway," Wario said, "from the info you provided us, we think that the Outcast and Fire tribes are on the verge of destroying each other. All they need is someone to blame."

_And Rosalina buys over half of the auction._

"A bed for each tribe member. They're basic. They have a pillow, thin mattress, and a comforter. Fifteen coins."

Rosalina: Ha-ha! We got this in the bag! Ahh, fresh pillows…

Wario: Come on, man. Fifteen coins? I barely had that to start!

Waluigi: Rosalina easily got the beds with about nine coins to spare. Coupled with what Daisy was murmuring about the Outcast tribe, I'm starting to despise them.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Hero, Sunday**

Everyone was asleep.

Wario sniffled. Peach sneezed and rolled back over, asleep.

Wario: So I'm sleeping, right? And I have this dream that Mario and I were building a shelter out of gold ingots, when he turns into a giant brownie and is chasing me around and turning all of the palm trees into chocolate. I ran into a giant marble statue of Peach and then I woke up.

Peach: This wonderful smell woke me up… ohhhhh… I can't even begin to describe it…

The Hero tribe walks outside and finds a cardboard box.

"Heh, heh." Wario chuckled. "Courtesy of yours truly, we now have a desert that we can eat all this week!"

Wario opened the box and a blast of hot air and good smells whooshed out.

Mario: When Wario opened the box, it was like a chocolate nuclear explosion.

Inside lay five trays of brownies. Wario lifted up a tray. "Today, we feast!"

The Hero tribe cheered. Wario lifted the plastic wrap off of the tray he held up, and cut six pieces, each one about a ninth of the pan. Bowser got two.

Everyone began to chow down.

Peach's lips were covered in chocolate. "Mmm… these are dee-lish!"

DK swallowed. "I'll have to admit, Peach, you're the only princess I know who eats brownies like a wild animal."

"Hey!" Peach said, smiling. "Can't I be myself out here?"

"Yeah," Mario said. "We're only on national television."

Bowser growled what might have been a laugh. "I wonder what Toadsworth has to say about messy princesses."

"Like I give a _" Peach said, making a point by taking a huge bite.

Peach: I hope they didn't show that on camera, but knowing that they probably did, I formally apologize. There. I said it.

**Outcast, Sunday**

Ed walked outside, yawning. He walked past Rosalina, who was sitting on a huge, wooden box.

"Mornin'" Ed said.

"You, too." Rosalina said.

Ed stopped in his tracks, pivoted, and pointed at the box. "Woah."

Yoshi came out, rubbing his eyes, ran into the box, fell over, got up, and said, "Mornin'"

"You, too." Rosalina said.

Yoshi then stopped in his tracks, pivoted, and pointed at the box. "Double woah."

Birdo walked outside, dreary, and climbed on top of the box. "Mornin'"

"You, too." Rosalina said, smiling.

Birdo, in an attempt to look at the box, falls off.

"Let me stop you before you get to 'triple woah.'" Rosalina said. She kicked the side of the box down, to reveal a bunch of parts and whatnot and some instructions. "Ed, you're helping me. Everyone else, clean up. Make this place look, I dunno, pretty. Take torches and burn the weeds, _after_ uprooting them and putting them in a pile near the ocean. Birdo, let me know how they're doing every so often. Inform me _immediately_ if something goes wrong. I'll let you know when you can come back."

"Why aren't we hunting today?" Yoshi asked as the rest of the tribe gathered around.

Rosalina smiled and stacked five bags of rice next to her. "Obvious reasons. Yoshi, if you want fresh meat, go ahead and bring home the kill. But you'll have to clean it and do all of the nasty work."

Yoshi: The main reason I'm a hunter is because I don't like, uh, 'field dressing the kill.' Even though we have rice rations, there's no substitute for good, hard protein.

"Everyone get to work. We have another long day." Rosalina said.

**Fire, Sunday**

Waluigi unwrapped the pair of binoculars as he told the story of the auction. He finished and presented the binoculars to Diddy Kong.

"So let me get this straight." Luigi was furious. "You got us a _ing pair of binoculars?"

"I would've gotten some office supplies, too, if Rosalina hadn't bid the max amount!" Waluigi said in his defense.

Waluigi: I have the feeling that that was _exactly_ the wrong thing to say.

"_ing office supplies?" Luigi looked too frustrated to continue. He stormed off, cussing and muttering.

Luigi: We could've had brownies or rice rations or _beds_! But we're stuck with some cheap binoculars!

Bowser Jr: I honestly thought that Waluigi could've done better than that. I mean, he has the most experience with money of any of us, but instead he brings back one item and seven ancient coins.

Toadette: I'm not saying I'm upset. I'M SAYING I'M TOTALLY  ING FUMING!

Waluigi took one look at his tribemates and hoped to God that the Fire tribe wouldn't go to elimination this week.

**Outcast, Sunday**

Rosalina and Ed finished their project and gathered the Outcast tribe to their shelter. They led everyone inside.

Inside were six identical beds, all very basic but very soft.

"As you have probably already noticed, we have beds!" Rosalina yelled.

Everyone in the Outcast tribe cheered. They all went over to feel their beds and lay on them, savoring their sheets.

Funky Kong: the beds might not be much, but hey, our previous ones were barely beds! This is awesome.

Ed: Ahh, clean sheets.

"However," Rosalina began, "These beds mean we have to undergo special responsibilities. Each week I need one volunteer to boil water that another one could use to wash sheets, and I still need one more to hang them out to dry and still another to put them all back on the beds. This all needs to be done in the course of a sunny day. Any takers for this week?"

Birdo, Ed, Funky Kong, and Bro Mamma all raised their hands.

Birdo: Being a housewife, I know all of this stuff. I live on Yoshi's farm, so I had to do all of this _myself_ in a day.

"Funky, you'll boil the water."

Funky Kong: I had a feeling that she'd tell me to do that, because it's the easiest job. Which, don't get me wrong, is fine by me.

"Ed, you'll wash the sheets. Bro Mamma, you'll hang them out to dry. Birdo, you'll put them back on the beds. Any questions?"

"Yes." Yoshi said. "What'll you be doing?"

Rosalina's eyes flared with a quick flame, but then she smiled again. "I'll be field dressing the kill you bring home. Don't you remember?"

Rosalina: I resent anyone who would even begin to even_ think_ that I'm lazy. Watch out. I tend to vote for people who offend me.

**Hero, Sunday**

"Tree mail!"

Everyone gathered around the coconut tree. DK got the message and began to read it.

"_Splash, drop, sloop, pow!_

"_Pool, Olympics, ocean, lake._

"_Dolphin, Olympian, fish, sharks._

"_Finish, first, get, coins._"

Everyone was silent for a minute.

"Oh, I get it! We're being pulled across an Olympic pool by dolphins!" Mario exclaimed.

Everyone looked at Mario funny.

Mario: I'll admit, that was a bit random.

"So…" Peach asked. "Who here is a strong swimmer?"

Nobody raised their hands.

"Well then… DK, it's your turn. You haven't gone yet."

"What?" DK yelled. "Neither did Bowser!"

"Do I look like I'm built for swimming?" Bowser said.

"He's got a point there." Wario said.

"Shut up." Bowser growled.

"Why don'cha make me?" Wario said, getting in front of Bowser.

"If I were you," Peach whispered to DK, "I would get out of here before things get kinda ugly…"

DK took the hint and raced off.

**Fire, Sunday**

"I'll take this one." Diddy said.

**Outcast, Sunday**

"Funky, you're up." Rosalina said.

"Awwww… really?" Funky Kong groaned.

"You'd better come in first." Rosalina grumbled.

Funky Kong walked off.

**Coin Challenge**

The three competitors walked up to the beach and up to a line. The waves looked a little choppier than usual. About fifty feet away, there was a ladder that led up to a platform and a bell. Jeff was waiting for the contestants at the beach.

"Well, hello. It seems that all three of the tribes picked their monkeys." Jeff said.

"Apes." DK corrected.

"Apes." Jeff said. "Anyway, you are to swim to the platform and ring the bell. Simple enough?"

Everyone nodded.

Jeff smiled. "That's why I made it a little more complex. You see, every time a person catches on a tripwire that's barely visible, he'll set off a depth charge that makes quite a wave. It's nearly impossible to avoid these, so you'd better just learn to deal with the waves. There are two wires, one every sixteen or so feet. There isn't one before you get on the platform. Winner gets five Ancient Coins, second gets two, and third gets none. Clear?"

Everyone nodded.

"Well, then, my monkey-an friends…"

"Ape-ian." DK muttered under his breath.

DK: I hate it when people confuse the Apes with the Monkeys. Don't confuse Diddy as being a monkey, either.

"…_GO_!"

The three apes dove into the water and began swimming while Jeff rode on a jet ski, following them. Funky Kong gained an early lead.

Funky Kong: I surf. I'm not only used to getting tossed around by waves, but I also can swim harder than anyone else here.

The first wave set off.

Diddy Kong: So this huge wave crashes on top of me! It took me at least thirty seconds to get swimming again.

Funky Kong dove into the wave and swum right through it. DK wasn't faring much better than Diddy.

"And Funky Kong is the first to make it to the finish!" Jeff yelled as Funky Kong rang the bell.

Funky Kong: Boo-ya!

Diddy Kong: It's kind of ironic that we lost to the laziest player in the game. It's not something that would help your reputation.

"DK is the second monkey to get to the finish!"

"_APE…_" DK growled, furious.

A huge wave capsized Jeff's jet ski.

DK: I didn't know I had psychic abilities! Wow.

Funky Kong: Jeff kinda deserved it after calling us all 'monkeys.' I mean, who does that?

The two bags of coins were lying on the platform, so Funky Kong and DK both took theirs. Diddy Kong walked, dejected, back to camp.

**Hero, Sunday**

DK brought back two coins.

"Let me guess…" Wario said. "Third place?"

"Actually, I got second. Diddy got nothing."

"Who could beat our strongest swimmer?" Mario asked.

"Funky." DK said.

The team was flabbergasted.

Peach: Funky Kong. Are you  ing serious?

Bowser: To be beat miserably by the Outcast team's weakest link is just embarrassing.

Mario put his head in his hands. "We are dead."

**Outcast, Sunday**

Funky Kong showed off his five coins. Nobody made a big deal out of them until he said he'd won first place.

"Say what?" Rosalina asked.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Birdo asked.

Funky Kong: We have some _major_ trust issues in the Outcast tribe.

Soon everyone is the tribe was laughing so hard they were crying.

"Hey!" Funky Kong said. "This isn't a joke!"

"We… we know!" Rosalina was doubled over. "It's… it's just that… the other tribes lost…" Rosalina burst into a fit of laughter. "Lost… to _you_!"

Funky Kong: That's just an insult. I really need to show I can work hard. Now, how to go about doing that…

Funky Kong started pulling up random plants and tossing them into the fire. He soon calmed down and went to get some real firewood.

To his great surprise and shock, everyone was passed out when he returned.

Funky dropped his logs. "Holy _."

**Fire, Sunday**

Diddy came back and showed his empty hands. The tribe groaned.

Diddy Kong: I didn't even want to tell them who beat me. but of course, I had to do it anyway.

Daisy: We. Lost. To. Funky. Kong. What the ?

Everyone continued halfhearted work. Diddy didn't want to be around everybody, so he went to spy on the Hero tribe.

Daisy asserted order. She started bossing people around and forcing them to work harder, and most of the time wasn't too friendly about it.

Daisy walked over to Toadette, who was gathering flora to use for food. She didn't have very much.

"Do you know how far behind we are right now?" Daisy asked with false politeness.

"Uh…" Toadette answered.

"Fifty times as far behind!" Daisy hissed at Toadette, who cringed. "Now get your rear in gear, and find stuff we can actually eat with!"

Toadette: Daisy needs to go.

**Hero, Sunday**

It was dark when DK silently stalked over to the Fire tribe's camp. He left a single message:

_**Funky Kong is responsible**_

**Fire, Sunday**

Luigi picked up a piece of paper on the ground. The words, 'Funky Kong' were spelled rather sloppily on the parchment that looked like it was from a book. The message on it was scrawled with a sweet-smelling liquid that looked like blood, probably berry paste.

"Funky Kong is responsible." Luigi said.

Luigi didn't get it for a moment. Then a mix between horror and delight flashed across his face.

"Hey, guys…" Luigi called. "Look what I found…"

Everyone was unsure how to react to the utter mystery in Luigi's voice. They slowly walked over. Daisy read the note, and a mix of horror and realization crossed her face.

Bowser Jr: The look on Daisy's face when she read the note was just pure _evil_! I should know, I've had experience with that sort of thing.

Daisy: By the time we're through with them, 'Outcast' will be a swear word.

**Outcast, Monday**

Everybody woke up, perfectly fine, though they couldn't shake the fact that something strange had happened.

It was dark out, and it looked like a light drizzle had dampened their clothes.

Yoshi: The last thing I remember was laughing so hard, my guts hurt. They still hurt. Then I remember getting really sleepy…

Rosalina walked into the shelter and found Funky Kong asleep. She shook him.

"Just five more minutes, mommy…" Funky Kong muttered.

The rest of the tribe giggled. Rosalina flashed them an irritated glance and snapped her fingers. Funky Kong sat bolt upright.

"YEOUCH!" He yelled. Then he saw the rest of the tribe. "Oh, it's just you." Funky Kong rolled over to go back to sleep, but Rosalina snapped her fingers again and Funky Kong flinched.

"Okay, what do you want?" Funky Kong rubbed his eyes.

"Why were we asleep?" Rosalina asked impatiently.

"Well, maybe because you were tired."

"It was day then."

"And it's night now, so if you don't mind…"

"What were you doing before we passed out?"

"Putting random stuff into the fire. Like weeds and stuff."

"Weeds?" Rosalina looked confused. Then a smile covered her face. "You idiot! Why didn't I think of that before?" Rosalina rushed outside.

"Uh, didn't see that coming…" Ed said.

Rosalina was found outside holding an ivy that seemed to cover every tree around the camp. She was giggling like a maniac.

Rosalina: Turns out this type of root, when burned, produces a sweet-smelling smoke that knocks you out for twelve hours.

"This root will serve as our security system. No more night shifts. That is, if Yoshi still has his lighter."

"It's right inside!" Yoshi said, excited.

Yoshi went inside and got his lighter, which he then rushed over and handed to Rosalina.

"This root knocks out whoever is within twenty feet of it, when burned. The radius of our camp is about forty feet, so we'll need to cover some major ground today. What we'll do is hook up some string to Yoshi's lighter. Then we partially cover the lighter with ivy roots. The tripwire will light the lighter, which sets the roots burning, and knocks out the intruders. We'll disarm it again every morning."

At first the tribemates were in utter awe. Then they started cheering.

Yoshi: Everyone's hooked on the security-system idea.

Rosalina: Watch out, Fire and Hero tribes, if you even _try_ to invade us, we'll capture you and hold whoever dared to enter our territory for ransom. The Outcast tribe is the greatest power of all!

**Fire, Monday**

"Let's talk strategy." Luigi whispered.

The Fire tribe was gathered in its shelter, discussing how to attack the Outcast tribe. Luigi led the meeting, which Bowser Jr. wasn't so happy about.

Bowser Jr: Luigi is an okay leader, y'know, but he's kinda melodramatic. I mean, so what if something happened to Daisy, we should move on. I mean, we're kind of a weak tribe to start with, we should shore up our _own_ defenses before we mount an attack, 'cause the Outcast tribe has more than one trick up their sleeve, I think.

Toadette: Luigi's insane, trying to mount an attack this early in the game. It's the Outcast tribe, idiot, try to live and let live.

Daisy: I won't be satisfied until the Outcast tribe's torch is burned a thousand times. If Funky Kong really did this, he will _burn_!

"We need to do this quietly. At dawn." Luigi said.

"Why not now?" Toadette asked, bored.

"They'll cream us now." Bowser Jr. answered. "And if I were Rosalina, I'd keep watches during the night. But they should be kinda drowsy at dawn."

"That's when we strike." Luigi said confidently. "We do it tomorrow. I need everyone to gather materials for weapons. Bowser Jr, bring your dagger. We shouldn't need to have bloodshed, but we might need to saw some rope. Daisy, Bowser Jr, and I will lead the attack, the rest of you, stay and guard the torch."

**Hero, Monday**

It was dawn. Everyone sleepily got out of the shelter. Wario started making a new fire from the firewood, and DK got out the meat to be cooked. Peach started eating another brownie.

Mario looked concerned. "We need you to have energy, Peach. A brownie every day for dessert may be nice, but you need some actual nutrition."

"What? Are you saying I look fat?" Peach asked with her mouth full.

Wario burst out laughing.

Wario: Typical of a girl to think a guy insulted her weight. But if you eat all the brownies, Peach, that's where you're headed.

"No…" Mario said patiently, "but we need you to have the energy to do the work."

Peach: Screw you, Mario. This may be the only chance I get out here to eat a homemade treat, and you don't have to spoil it for me.

Mario: I have a feeling Peach is going to be very sick today.

DK swung in from the trees. "They took the bait."

Peach said something, but the words were garbled because her mouth was full.

"Care to repeat that?" DK asked, amused.

DK: I had to suppress my laughter. Meeting a princess is one thing, but living out in the wilderness with her is something completely different, especially if there's brownies involved. Wario's laughing, Bowser's grinning (which doesn't happen a lot), and Mario's trying to stop Peach from overeating and getting really sick, which there is a 100% chance she will. The Hero tribe is turning into a giant sitcom.

"The entire Fire tribe is murmuring to themselves. I think they'll launch an attack today, tomorrow at the latest." DK continued.

"That means it's time to make an alliance with the most powerful tribe." Bowser said.

"Yeah… how do I do that again?" DK asked.

"Just walk up to them and schedule a meeting. Rosalina is fond of organization, I think," Bowser said.

"But what do we have to offer?" Mario asked.

"Meat." Wario said.

Wario: We have the best hunters of any tribe. I think offering tribute to the most powerful tribe is the best choice.

"What else?" Mario asked.

"More meat." Wario said, holding up a spiny shell.

"And?"

"Hmm…" Wario rubbed his chin. "Meat."

"Meat it is, then." Bowser said.

"What about the brownie trays?" DK suggested.

Peach almost choked. "What?"

"Trust me, when you're done eating those, you'll agree."

Peach looked at her stomach. "Well… we still haven't found out the secret advantage that Ben told us about."

"Yeah, we have." Wario said.

"Huh?"

"All of the excess meat."

"Stop saying meat. You're making me sick." Peach put down her brownie.

"Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat!" Wario taunted.

Peach walked off, looking green and holding her stomach.

"Do you feel the need to do that?" Mario asked.

"She'll feel better after she pukes, trust me." Wario said.

"It'll be a good self-control lesson." Bowser added.

DK started laughing. When everyone started looking at him, he said, "Sorry, this is all very funny to me."

"Just make the treaty." Mario said, heading after Peach. "And make sure not to give away too much!"

**Outcast, Monday**

Rosalina was field dressing the kill, wrapping the meat in paper, and setting it to soak in a pot of blood. Ed, Bro Mamma, and Birdo were making the security system while Funky Kong played his guitar for them and Yoshi was out hunting.

There was some rustling in the trees.

"Everybody, drop what you're doing!" Rosalina yelled.

Everybody dropped the materials they were working with.

Birdo: It was a smart move. If anyone saw what we were working with, they could figure out how to disarm our trap.

Turns out it was only DK.

"Hello." DK said. Rosalina, in a split second, had a spear at his neck.

"To whom do I owe the honor?" Rosalina asked through gritted teeth.

"Donkey Kong of Nottingham. Get that thing out of my face." DK pushed the spear away. "I just want to talk."

"About what?" Rosalina asked. "As if I was really interested."

"I just want to make peace with the Outcast tribe. We share a common enemy."

"Including each other." Rosalina added.

"Granted, but with an alliance with the stronger tribe would lessen the chances of your torch being stolen."

"As if that could really happen. And last time I checked, you were the tribe that has five players."

"The Fire tribe is crippled by poor leadership. We offer you meat for a week. Any week. It doesn't have to be now. We have enough game to hunt for two tribes, if we step it up."

"And if you don't 'step it up?'"

"Then we sacrifice our tribal torch."

"A win-win offer. What do you want?"

"Not to be attacked."

"Deal, then." DK and Rosalina shook hands. "We are officially allies. Now go away. I have some civil matters to attend to."

DK sprinted off to his own tribe.

**Hero, Monday**

DK came sprinting back to camp.

"How'd it go?" Wario asked.

"Any time they need it, we have to hunt for them for a week."

"Wow. Okay," Wario said.

Wario: I'm not really happy with hunting for two tribes for a week, but it's a small price to pay for not having your torch burned. We're already a person behind, so we have to make alliances with the right people.

Mario led a very nauseated Peach into the shelter to lie down.

"I-" Wario began, but Mario interrupted him.

"Let me ask you a hypothetical question. If today was your last day on Earth, what would you do different?" Mario got in Wario's face. "Especially if by doing something _different_, today might _not_ be your last day on Earth."

Mario walked off and began cleaning the game Wario caught.

"Um… point taken." Wario said.

"You know, I don't think that question was very hypothetical at all." Bowser said, chuckling.

"Whatever. I was getting bored tormenting her, anyway." Wario scoffed.

"You say that, but you don't mean it." DK said.

"Shut up. What do you know?" Wario muttered.

"Getting back on topic, I saw the Outcast tribe working on something important." DK said.

"Really? Like what?" Mario asked.

"Like something so important that they dropped everything when they saw me." DK said.

"If it really is that important, I hope the Fire tribe succeeds in their attack, if they do attack." Bowser said. "But I really think that the Outcast tribe is shoring up its defenses."

"That and they all seemed kind of… what's the word… eager? Like maybe they _hope_ someone will attack." DK said.

"Then we'd better not." Mario smiled. "Not that we would anyway. But we'd better still get ready to attack the Fire tribe. So, Bowser the wise one, what do _you_ think we should do?"

"I appreciate the compliment. Your plan seems fine to me. But if Outcast launches a counterattack, we won't be able to get anything of value. DK, let's establish communications with the Outcast tribe, tomorrow at the earliest." Bowser said. "If we're going to make an alliance with the strongest tribe, we need to make sure it's firm."

"Good idea." Mario said. "As for today, Wario, make sure Peach doesn't…" Mario made a motion with his hands.

"Puke?" Wario asked.

"…In our shelter. If you can't resist, take a walk in the woods, or something."

"Gotcha. The woods it is." Wario smiled and walked off.

**Outcast, Monday**

Everybody looked at the finished security system.

"Let's not get cocky." Rosalina said. "Birdo, you're taking the first two-hour watch, I'll take the rest. I think the Fire tribe will attack first, but I don't know when, so we need to make sure this works."

The tribe murmured agreement.

Yoshi: I'm really nervous. What if it doesn't work? I'm pretty sure that the rest of the tribe feels the same way.

It was dusk, so the tribe went in and got in bed. Rosalina set the trap and followed.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Luigi woke everyone up. This was it.

Luigi, after receiving directions from Diddy, led the expedition along with Bowser Jr. and Daisy.

Bowser Jr: I'm really anxious. Everything could go wrong on this mission. But I don't want to show weakness in front of my tribe, so I'm going on the offensive.

The tribemates sneaked in and saw the clay shelter in the distance. Luigi led the brigade.

Bowser Jr: What really bugs me about Luigi is that he's so overconfident and self-absorbed, and won't listen to anyone who tells him he's not capable of pulling anything off. He wasn't even the least bit careful. What'd you think, Rosalina would just hand you her torch?

Luigi tripped over something, and continued.

Bowser Jr. gasped. "Was that a… tripwire?"

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, then hit the ground with a thud.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Rosalina yawned and went outside. She saw Luigi, Bowser Jr, and Daisy lying on the ground, asleep. "It… works." She rushed inside and woke everyone up.

"Man, you ever hear of beauty sleep?" Funky Kong complained.

"IT WORKS! IT WORKS! EVERYBODY, UP! IT WORKS!" Rosalina yelled.

The tribemates yawned, rubbed their eyes, and went outside. Everyone gasped. Bro Mamma went to check their pulses.

Soon, everyone was cheering. "It works! It works!"

"Hold it!" Rosalina yelled, and the celebration stopped. "We need to launch a counterattack. Ed, how's it going on those smoke grenades?"

"I could have one in twenty minutes." Ed said, smiling.

"Funky, how's your throwing arm?"

"Eager to steal a tribal torch." Funky Kong flashed a mischievous smile.

"Good. Bro Mamma, you're in this, too. Birdo and Yoshi, help Ed make a grenade. We only need one, but make another in case we miss. The Fire tribe, or, what's left of them, won't know what hit them. Time to start a war."

The tribe cheered and got to work.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Diddy Kong: I was getting really worried that Luigi and the others had been captured. I was working on the shelter when I hear this thud. I turn around and see this burning rock thingy, but then I got really sleepy.

_Later…_

Waluigi: I was out collecting edible flora when I saw that we had Tree Mail. I mean, two letters.

Waluigi took down a letter that had pink stationary. He read the message aloud. "You should be glad that's all we took. What the heck?"

Waluigi realized what had happened and saw all of his tribemates passed out on the ground. He raced inside the shelter and saw that all of Fire's Ancient Coins and their Tribal Torch were gone.

Waluigi sat down and put his head in his hands. "We worked so hard for those… Thanks a lot, Luigi, YOU HAPPY NOW?"

Waluigi slumped over to the coconut tree and read the other message.

"_A lap around the island,_

"_A lap around the tree._

"_A lap around the ocean,_

"_To get some coins for free._"

Waluigi looked at his tribemates, who were sleeping, and decided he'd better do this one himself.

**Hero, Tuesday**

Peach groggily got out of the shelter. "If anyone even _mentions_ brownies, I'm going to barf."

Wario opened his mouth to speak, but Mario flashed him the evil eye. Bowser got up and yawned next to DK, who turned around and yelped.

DK: I was stretching when I turned around and saw nothing but teeth. Bowser's yawn is almost as scary as his roar.

Mario pointed out that they all had really slept in.

"It's kinda easy to do when you don't have an alarm clock." Peach said.

"A.k.a. Toadsworth." Wario said.

"Hey look, Tree Mail." Mario yelled to DK, who muttered something about always doing the hard work and went to get it.

Once the message had been read, Peach volunteered. "I love to run. I get a lot of practice-"

"-running away from Toadsworth." Wario interrupted.

"Will you shut up?" Peach yelled.

"If you've known Wario as long as I have, you'd know that that's not physically possible." Mario said.

"Will you shut up?" Wario yelled.

"If you've known Mario as long as I have, you'd know that that's not physically possible." Peach said.

There was a pause, then everyone burst out laughing. Peach said she'd take this challenge and walked off.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Everyone was laughing, patting each other on the back, and giving each other high-fives. Rosalina said that the celebration would be held tonight.

Funky Kong got the Tree Mail and read it aloud. Rosalina said she'd take this one.

"As always…" Yoshi murmured.

Yoshi: Rosalina's helpful to the point of annoyance. I'd like to prove myself for once, thank you.

**Coin Challenge**

The contestants Waluigi, Rosalina, and Peach walked up to the checkered starting line on the beach. Not too far away was a small island. Ben was waiting for them.

"Me again. Jeff got flipped over in the last Coin Challenge and got a real nasty lung infection, so I'll be your host for today and tomorrow, maybe even Thursday. But back to the Coin Challenge.

"This is a race. You each have three flags that are your tribe's color. Yellow for Hero, orange for Fire, and green for Outcast. You will run up to the tree over there and plug your flag in the correct spot. Then you will swim to that island and plug your flag in the tree on it. Finally, you will come back here and plug your last flag into the tree right by where you're standing. Winner gets ten Ancient Coins, second five, loser one. Questions? No? Then _GO!_"

Rosalina and Peach were out to and early lead. Waluigi saved his energy, pacing himself.

"Peach seems to be wearing out!" Ben yelled.

"I know! You don't have to rub it in!" Peach yelled, panting.

Rosalina effortlessly glided across the ground.

Rosalina: I have yet to be challenged in this game.

Peach: I seriously shouldn't have pushed myself that hard in the beginning. It didn't help that Waluigi soon passed me up.

Waluigi, still pacing himself, passed up the winded Peach. Rosalina plugs in her first flag and dived into the water. Waluigi plugged in his first flag and followed.

Peach slowly gained her speed back, plugging in her first flag and diving into the water. She slowly gained a lead over Waluigi.

However, Peach seemed to have pushed herself too hard again, and falls back. Meanwhile, Rosalina was hopelessly far ahead. She plugged in her second flag and was heading to the finish.

Peach struggled to gain a lead over Waluigi.

Waluigi: Peach was in front of me, then behind me, then in front of me, then behind me… I think she was having a hard time making up her mind.

Waluigi is the second to plug in his second flag while Peach follows close behind.

Peach: This wasn't a good challenge for me to be in.

Rosalina plugs in her third flag. Waluigi plugs his in next, and Peach plugs hers in last.

"Congrats, Rosalina, you've won first place. Waluigi, Peach, I'll see you at the Advantage Challenge."

The competitors picked up their Ancient Coin bags and walked back to their camps.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Everyone was still asleep when Waluigi got back. He got out the Sorry game and played all four characters by himself while he watched them.

_Later…_

Luigi stirred. He sat up and rubbed his head.

"Welcome back, sleeping beauty." Waluigi said. "I hope you're happy."

"H…How'd it go?" Luigi asked groggily.

"Well, you could safely say your little expedition was a _complete failure_!" Waluigi yelled. "Not only is our Tribal Torch gone, all of our Ancient Coins are, too!"

The rest of the sleeping campers started to get up and wipe the drool from their faces.

"No way…" Daisy said. "We… lost?"

"Gee, you think?" Waluigi asked sarcastically.

"Way to go, genius." Toadette sneered. "You got us sent to Tribal Council."

"Hey, we can still win if we steal someone else's torch!"

"I'm not ready to try doing _that_ again." Bowser Jr. said.

"Well… if we do go to elimination, I don't think I should go home because I'm leading this tribe." Luigi said.

Bowser Jr: AM I REALLY HEARING THIS?

"You're the reason we're in this mess, you Italian meatball." Toadette said.

"Well, compared to you, I'm a hero! You just sit around cooking rice all day!"

"Oh, please. Did cooking great rice ever get us sent to Tribal?" Toadette asked.

"Well, uh…"

"Don't bother. Chances are you were just going to say something stupid," Toadette said.

"Well, uh…"

"And think about this: Whose bright idea was it to invade the Outcast tribe?" Toadette asked.

"Well, uh…"

"And who wasn't careful enough to, I dunno, look for traps?" Toadette yelled.

"Well, uh…"

"And who was it who is constantly careless and overconfident? Well, I got news for you, buddyboy, it wasn't _me_. And it wasn't _Waluigi_. And it wasn't _Bowser Jr_. And it wasn't _Diddy_. And it wasn't _Daisy_. Now, who does that narrow it down to, hmm, let me guess-"

"QUIET!" Diddy yelled. "What happened to the strong team that we were at the beginning? The team that made merry and didn't care about one another's flaws? The team that thought they could persevere anything?"

"Yeah, keyword there, Diddy, is _thought_." Toadette said. "And it's that overconfidence that got us here in the first place."

"So what? Are we constantly going to walk around thinking that we're going to lose every challenge? I don't know about you, but I don't think that attitude's going to get us anywhere." Diddy said, seething.

Bowser Jr, Waluigi, and Daisy watched the threesome argue for a while more.

Daisy: I've never seen Diddy act up like this before. He's usually so quiet…

Waluigi: In my opinion, Luigi's irresponsible leadership is what got us here in the first place. Bowser Jr's too shy to take the stand on his own. It needs to be clear first.

Bowser Jr: We're screwed at the Advantage Challenge if we don't start pulling together.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Rosalina came back, holding her sack of coins, but immediately started making the stage for tonight's celebration. Birdo and Yoshi were building a table while Ed and Bro Mamma were building chairs. Rosalina started making a stage and Funky Kong started making the firepit.

Rosalina: The sun was pretty high in the sky, so we had a good chance of getting this up by sundown. Tonight's going to be a celebration like no other.

**Hero, Tuesday**

Peach came back with her one coin.

Mario wasn't around, so Wario and DK performed a scene they had been rehearsing.

"Ever get tired of boring old brownies?" DK asked Wario, loud enough that Peach could hear.

"Yes!" Wario answered, "But how do I make an ordinary brownie interesting?"

"It's actually very simple. Do you have any spare cataquack blood lying around?"

Peach groaned as she realized where this was headed.

"Why, yes, I actually do." Wario held up the stomach of a spiny filled cataquack blood.

"Good." DK held up a brownie. "Now all you have to do is _squeeze_ it out…" DK squirted the blood all over the brownie. Peach turned green and turned away.

DK: You'd be surprised what awful noises you can make with a spiny stomach and some blood.

"Wow, doesn't that look good?" DK handed the dripping brownie to Wario.

"Very. In fact, it looks so good that I'll…" Wario swallowed the brownie in one gulp.

Peach put a hand over her mouth and ran to the river. DK and Wario howled with laughter.

"How'd you _do_ that?" DK asked Wario.

"Don't ask." Wario grinned.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Once everything was set up, Birdo and Bro Mamma began cooking the food nearby. It was sundown, so Rosalina started up the fire.

"Today is the day…" Rosalina stuck the Fire tribe's torch into the fire. "that we _burn_ the Fire tribe's torch!"

Everyone yelled and whooped as the Fire tribe's torch went up in flames. They didn't stop until the torch crumbled into ashes.

Funky and Rosalina went up on stage and started performing songs. Funky Kong played his guitar and Rosalina sang. The rest of the tribe sung along. While Birdo finished cooking, Ed put out cardboard 'plates.' When the song was done, everyone helped themselves to buzzy beetle, spiny, fish, cataquack, and rice. Funky Kong turned out to be the ultimate storyteller.

"…and then they left the tent to go find out what the noise was…" Funky Kong said mysteriously.

"DON'T LEAVE THE TENT!" Yoshi exclaimed in horror.

"They did! And they slowly saw a shadow come up behind them… Suddenly, Jack froze!"

Everyone gasped.

"Belinda slowly turned her head around to reveal…"

Everyone held their breath.

"…a vampire sorceress!"

Rosalina: It went on like this for a half and hour of so. I wasn't scared, of course.

Rosalina screamed.

After the storytelling, everyone made merry and stuffed themselves. Everyone called it quits a few hours later, and piled into their beds.

**Advantage Challenge**

The three teams boated down to three arches with platforms on the side. Two ropes hung down from the top of the arch and one of them roped around to each platform on each of the three arches. Ben was waiting for them at a central platform.

"Hello, hello. Now, before we start the challenge, let me ask a few questions." Ben said.

"Fire, your torch was stolen and burned. How does that make you feel?"

"Who are you, Doctor Phil?" Toadette sneered.

The other tribes snickered.

"Well… okay, then. Hero tribe, I heard there's been some unrest. Care to explain?"

"Well, _unrest_ is a strong word, but me and an associate have been pulling some pranks lately…" Wario said.

"HE MADE ME PUKE THREE TIMES!" Peach yelled, pointing at Wario.

The other tribes snickered.

"Okay, I'll try not to paint a visual picture." Ben grinned. "Outcast, how was your celebration?"

"It was _fantastic_, thank you for asking." Rosalina said. "Funky and I were performing onstage, we dined on five different dishes all cooked to perfection, and Funky Kong told ghost stories. We all had a great time." The rest of the tribe murmured assent.

"Good for you, then. But on to the Advantage Challenge.

"You will select one member to hold on to ropes above the sea today. The other members of the tribe will be holding the hanging person up. Taunts are expected, and allowed. And watch out, folks, I heard that it's going to rain today." Ben pointed up at the overcast sky.

"Since Hero is down one member, Fire and Outcast, you will have to sit someone out. Also, after the first ten minutes, two of your members will have to sit out. The final two will hold on to the rope until everyone else has been eliminated or their person hits the water.

"And on to the reward. The winning team will receive a complete dinnerware set. A real table, 250 paper plates, over one hundred plastic forks and spoons, pots, pans, and a cooking stone that can be held over the fire. Everyone needs this."

Everyone was looking at one another, imagining having real plates for once.

"So I'll let you have a few minutes to decide who'll be sitting out, who will be standing on what side and where, and who will be hanging by the ropes."

_Outcast_

"Bro Mamma, you know those mental cooldowns that you've been teaching us?" Rosalina asked.

"Yeah. Why?"

"About a minute in, start reciting them. Everyone will get sucked in and then I'll be able to surprise them with my noises that I used to win in the very first challenge. As for who's where, Ed, you'll be sitting out, Yoshi and Bro Mamma, you'll be on the inside, Birdo and Funky, you'll be on the outside."

_Fire_

"Toadette, I need you to be hanging." Luigi said.

Luigi: This is my last chance to prove that I can be a winning strategist. If we don't win, I'm screwed.

"ME? NO WAY!" Toadette screamed.

"Come on. You're our lightest."

"I am hydrophobic and have horrible endurance. I'd better sit out."

"Fine. Daisy, you'll be hanging. Toadette, you'll sit out, Bowser Jr. and I will be on the inside and Diddy and Waluigi will be on the outside. This better work."

_Hero_

"I'll hang." Mario said. "Peach and Wario, you'll be on the outside, Bowser and DK will be on the inside. We'll smash the competition."

…

"Everybody in position?" Ben asked. "Start the clock!"

_One minute…_

Bro Mamma started shouting visuals. She looked like she was telling Rosalina, but she yelled it loud enough that everybody could hear. "Imagine that you are an eagle, soaring high above the clouds and free of the constraints of civilization…"

Mario: Bro Mamma's chants were really relaxing, so I started to listen in. Soon I felt like I could hold on forever.

_Ten minutes…_

"You've been at this for ten minutes! Outside people, let go!"

Peach, Wario, Diddy Kong, Waluigi, Funky Kong, and Birdo stepped away from the rope.

Bowser Jr: We were struggling to hold up Daisy, especially after the outside people had to let go. I tried to relax by listening to Bro Mamma, but that turned out to be a horrible mistake.

Bro Mamma continued. "You are an ant, in tune with the soil. You slowly feel the sand on your legs, every grain a-"

"EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE!"

"WAUGH!"

"AAAAA!"

_Sloop. Sloop._

Rosalina was the only person still hanging. She was smiling devilishly.

Mario came up for air. "N…No fair!"

"If you were concentrating, that wouldn't have happened." Rosalina said.

Daisy: I want to stick a knife in Rosalina's back and twist. Of all the dirty, dastardly crimes the Outcast tribe has committed, this is the worst.

"Congrats, Outcast tribe, you've won the dinnerware. According to the cameras, both Mario and Daisy hit the water at the same time, but it really doesn't matter because Fire's torch was burned." Ben explained

"Rub it in, why don't you?" Luigi growled.

"Fire, I'll see you at tribal." Ben said.

**Outcast, Wednesday**

"Oh… my… god!"

A wide assortment of boxes was strewn around the Outcast camp. Rosalina barked out orders and the tribe got to work setting everything up.

Birdo: I can't wait to eat on real plates! This is going to be awesome!

Rosalina: Trickery and deceit can get you far in this game. Just as Fire had a superior strategy in the first Advantage Challenge, we had a superior strategy in the second, and we're going to have one in every one thereafter. We are the dominant power on this island, and nobody's going to stand in our way.

Yoshi: Nobody's going to stand in our way.

Ed: Nobody's going to stand in our way.

**Fire, Tribal Council**

Ben met the Fire tribe on the dark side of the island. He handed each member a torch. "Fire represents life. If your torch goes out, so do you.

"Each of you will write a name down on a peace of paper, the name of the person you want most to go home. This person does not have to be the weakest. Keep in mind, throughout the game, that there can only be one Royal Survivor."

He directed each of the survivors to a school-type desk and chair, both made out of bamboo. He handed them each a slip of paper and a pen. Ben sat down at a much bigger desk that was facing all of the others and seemed to enjoy the large chair. A small fire separated him from the survivors.

Bowser Jr. wrote down Luigi's name.

Bowser Jr: If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be here. You are the bane of this tribe's existence.

Luigi wrote down Toadette's name.

Luigi: I hate your sass and your negative attitude. Get a life and come back to the show.

Toadette wrote down Luigi's name.

Toadette: I hate you. Do I really need another reason?

Ben collected all of the slips of paper. He read each of them aloud.

"Luigi." Luigi looked like he thought it wasn't a big deal.

"Toadette." Toadette blew some hair from her face.

"Luigi." Luigi looked a bit nervous now.

"Diddy Kong." Diddy Kong flinched in his seat.

"Toadette." Toadette started looking at random people, as if accusing them.

"Two votes Luigi, two votes Toadette, and one vote Diddy Kong. The second person to leave Royal Survivor is…

"Luigi. You will depart immediately. Will you leave your luxury item with your tribemates who betrayed you?" Ben asked as he snuffed Luigi's torch.

"No. I go, the Sorry game goes. Have fun being bored. Oh wait, _you can't_!" Luigi walked off in a huff.

Luigi: I screwed up, and unfortunately, you don't get second chances in this game. Above all, though, I hope Toadette goes home. She doesn't deserve to be here.

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Wario goes a little too far._

"WHY'RE YOU LOOKING THROUGH MY _ING DIARY?"

Peach kicked Wario in the one place a boy should never be kicked.

_The Fire tribe starts to lose its luster…_

Bowser Jr: Everyone is just lying around, hating having no one to lead them.

…_and Bowser Jr. decides to take charge._

"All right, everyone, let's give it our all." Bowser Jr. cheers. "There are no ifs, ands, or buts, I need 100% out of you!"

The Fire tribe cheered.

_And the Outcast tribe remains undefeated._

Daisy: I've heard of winners, but this is ridiculous.

Bowser Jr: Saying we're screwed is an understatement if we can't knock the wind out of the Outcast's sails.

Birdo: This doesn't feel like Royal Survivor anymore. It feels like a luxury resort where you beat everyone else miserably.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	5. Episode Four

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_The Outcast tribe sets up a security system…_

Rosalina: Turns out this type of root, when burned, produces a sweet-smelling smoke that knocks you out for twelve hours.

"This root will serve as our security system. No more night shifts. That is, if Yoshi still has his lighter."

…_that later condemns the Fire tribe to Tribal._

Bowser Jr. gasped. "Was that a… tripwire?"

Luigi opened his mouth to speak, then hit the ground with a thud.

Rosalina yawned and went outside. She saw Luigi, Bowser Jr, and Daisy lying on the ground, asleep.

_Wario starts tormenting Peach._

"Stop saying meat. You're making me sick." Peach put down her brownie.

"Meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat, meat!" Wario said.

"HE MADE ME PUKE THREE TIMES!" Peach yelled, pointing at Wario.

_Outcast wins the Advantage Challenge through trickery…_

Mario came up for air. "N…No fair!"

"If you were concentrating, that wouldn't have happened." Rosalina said.

Daisy: I want to stick a knife in Rosalina's back and twist. Of all the dirty, dastardly crimes the Outcast tribe has committed, this is the worst.

…_and Luigi is voted off._

Luigi: I screwed up, and unfortunately, you don't get second chances in this game. Above all, though, I hope Toadette goes home. She doesn't deserve to be here.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor? **_

**Hero, Wednesday**

Everyone came back and sat down in a semicircle. Silence.

"Well…" Wario began, "At least nobody was eliminated…" He didn't sound so sure of himself.

Bowser sighed. "'At least?' We lost the challenge due to utter trickery. The Outcast tribe has no morals. And since they did defeat the Fire tribe and got their torch, they _are_ powerful."

"Good thing we made a treaty with them," Mario muttered.

"Um, yeah, about that…" DK said sheepishly, "…we may be in trouble if Rosalina went to law school."

"Do tell," Bowser said.

"I didn't make any consequences for _them_ stealing _our_ torch."

"So we have a treaty based on the nonexistent honor of the Outcast tribe," Bowser concluded.

Wario: Okay, I said we're screwed, but now I _really_ mean it.

Mario got out the chess board Toad left behind. "You want to play a game?" He asked Bowser.

Bowser chuckled. "I suppose, if you want to kill a few seconds."

Peach and DK sat and watched them play. Wario wandered around until he saw a pink diary.

"_Peach_?" Wario read the title. "Hmm. _A dairy of my Innermost Secrets_." Wario flashed a glance back to where Peach was sitting.

Wario was reaching to pick it up when he heard Bowser say, "Checkmate."

Mario: Okay, I was calling Bowser 'wise' before, but now I _really_ mean it. He beat me in three moves! Who does that?

Wario quickly started picking up sticks and adding them to the fire.

Wario: I've _got_ to read that.

**Fire, Wednesday**

Everybody walked back to camp. Diddy was holding Fire's new Tribal Torch. Nobody really felt bad except Daisy. She was sniffling, and occasionally a tear rolled down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away.

Daisy: My sole supporter in this tribe is gone. I have no friends in this tribe anymore.

As Toadette and Diddy Kong got inside the shelter to fall asleep, Waluigi pulled Daisy and Bowser Jr. aside.

"Listen," He whispered. "We need an alliance."

"Say what?" Bowser Jr. said.

"You heard me. If we team up when the voting comes, we'll be able to vote off Diddy Kong and Toadette."

"Agreed," Bowser Jr. nodded. "But who's going first?"

"Toadette," Daisy said.

"Diddy," Waluigi said.

Daisy and Waluigi looked at each other.

Daisy: Why would you want to get rid of Diddy? He's sweet, hardworking, and most of all, _quiet_!

Waluigi: Daisy's forgetting that this is a strategic game. Diddy is the biggest threat… that isn't in this alliance.

"Diddy is a bigger threat," Waluigi explained. "If we get rid of him, we won't have to worry about him when there's only one tribe left."

"Makes sense," Daisy nodded.

Daisy: I would've personally wanted to get rid of the whiny, smart-aleck Toadette, but Waluigi's explanation makes sense. Bottom line, I don't want to go home.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Everybody woke up and started with the morning chores. Ed went to rekindle the fire, Yoshi disarmed the security system, Bro Mamma and Birdo went to wash up, Funky Kong tuned his guitar, and Rosalina started cooking the meal.

Ed: It's nice to finally start settling into a routine. We're finally starting to feel like everyone who's here today is going to be here tomorrow.

Birdo: It's nice that we all kind of have our own little jobs and spaces we can customize to our taste.

"All right, everybody, gather round," Rosalina yelled. "Today's agenda: In the morning, we need to gather more Buzzy Beetle, our supplies are low. Yoshi and Funky, you're on that. Also, the rest of you, start making clay tiles for the floor. If you have any questions, ask me quick, because I'm going hunting with the boys.

"At noon, you're to report back here for a little activity I have planned. I'm sure all of you'll like it.

"When dusk falls, Birdo and I will cook the meal. We'll eat on the paper plates given to us during the advantage challenge. As usual, if you want a snack, eat it on cardboard and cook it yourself. I want these plates to last. When we're all finished, we'll throw our garbage into a pit that Funky, Ed, and Bro Mamma will dig after the noon activity. Let's get to work!"

The Outcast tribe cheered and rushed off to their workstations.

**Hero, Thursday**

Everybody got up, yawned, and started to work on the shelter. It had started to leak.

"Stupid leaky shelter…" Wario muttered aimlessly. "Trying to work hard but it gets holes in it and we all get wet and the bugs start to bite and…"

Peach rolled her eyes and started creating sparks to light the fire.

Peach: Wario's complaining hit a record high today. He works hard, but can't he just be pleasant about it? Or _quiet_ for once?

"…getting all soaked and my underwear starts to itch and the ground is cold and my spear is slippery and I feel all dirty and…"

DK: I'd think Wario's muttering would be funny if he didn't do it 24-7.

"…having a rotten day and no one is comforting and I got a paper-cut on a leaf and it might be infected and I'm sneezing a lot but no one seems to care and…"

Mario: I was listening to Wario for a bit, but it gets to the point where you just hear, 'blah blah blah blah blah.'

"…want to win this stinking show but everyone's in my way so I have to win but I don't know how and this shelter's still leaking and…"

Bowser: I have yet to uncover the inner workings of Wario's mind. Everything he does is just so _illogical_!

Wario: Can I help it if I'm not a morning person?

**Outcast, Thursday**

It was noon, so everybody washed their hands and sat down at the cafeteria-style wooden table that they had assembled yesterday. It was covered in colored paper and Elmer's glue bottles. Each tribe member got their own piece of cardboard and scissors.

Rosalina explained what the tribe was going to do. "I thought you would all like to customize your bed area, so we're going to make collages. You each can use as much paper as you like, as long as it's in a reasonable range. Also, after we're done, we'll make a flag for the Outcast tribe. Let's get to work!"

Funky Kong: It was, like, really cool for Rosalina to set us aside some time like that to make a piece of art.

Funky Kong was making a guitar. Birdo was making a, 'Shelter Sweet Shelter' sign. Yoshi was making a self-portrait and was failing miserably. Ed was making a swirly pattern. Bro Mamma was making some of the Hammer Bro hammers. Rosalina was making some of the star friends that follow her around.

Birdo finished early because hers was so simple, so Rosalina told her to start working on the flag. When everyone was finished, they taped their pictures above their beds and began to tape different shades of green on the pole that Birdo made. Rosalina started to make the actual flag.

Rosalina stuck the finished flag on the roof of the Outcast's clay shelter. It was green with the flag labeled, 'OUTCASTS.'

"Good job everyone," Rosalina stated. "Now back to work!"

Everybody walked back to their workstations, smiling.

Rosalina: It's nice to be respected as a leader. I want our tribe to survive and thrive.

Ed: Rosalina is a definite threat. As soon as our tribe goes to Tribal, I'm voting her off. The only thing I'm worried about is if that's ever going to happen.

**Fire, Thursday**

Bowser Jr. hid under a tree to escape the noon sun. Daisy fanned herself with a leaf.

Bowser Jr: I find it a bit ironic that we're the Fire tribe and stuck on the hottest side of the island.

"Tree Mail," Daisy said weakly. "Diddy, be a pal and go read it for me."

Diddy rolled his eyes.

Diddy: I don't understand why those guys get so hot. I'm perfectly fine, and I have _fur_!

Diddy fetched the Tree Mail and politely read it aloud.

"_Across the gorge are the Ancient Coins._

"_But are they really worth the risk?_

"_Of falling oh so far, far down._

"_It'll hurt much more than a nick,_" Diddy finished. "So? Anyone want to volunteer?"

"I'm too hot to do a Coin Challenge," Bowser Jr. moaned.

"I'm too… uh… afraid of heights… yeah," Daisy stated.

Diddy Kong: I'm tired of feeling like the only hard worker around here.

**Hero, Thursday**

Wario was asleep under the coconut tree. Bowser noticed that there was Tree Mail. In his usual fashion, he pounded on the coconut tree. The good news was that he caught the coconut that had the letter on it. The bad news was that falling coconuts completely covered Wario.

Bowser: You'd only expect that to happen in cartoons. I would know, I saw it happen when I was watching cartoons with my son, who at the time was eight. There's a lot of truth in those animated myths.

Wario resurfaced and rubbed his head, glaring a Bowser. While Bowser read the message, Wario started snoring under a different coconut tree.

"Hmm…" Bowser rubbed his chin after finishing the message.

"Seems like a good challenge for you, Bowser," Mario said.

"Define, 'good,'" Bowser looked warily at Mario.

"Good, meaning, we all have done at least one challenge, so it's you're turn." Mario stated.

"Oh, _that_ kind of good…" Bowser muttered as he walked off to the challenge grounds.

**Outcast, Thursday**

"Bro Mamma, this looks like you're kind of work," Rosalina said.

"No way," Yoshi said. "_I'm_ taking this one," he said as he walked to the challenge grounds.

**Coin Challenge**

The three Survivors met at the top of the island, a volcano. Three steel bridges, without guardrails, swayed in the breeze. Jeff was standing nearby.

"Hello, competitors. I'm back," Jeff told them.

"Diddy, I heard that your tribe got sent to Tribal Council in my absence. Who was voted off?" Jeff asked.

"Well…" Diddy began, "Luigi was the first of the Fire tribe to go."

"Do you have a guess who voted for whom?"

"I voted for Luigi. He's the one that got us sent to Tribal in the first place. Luigi and Daisy probably voted for Toadette, but I don't know who voted for me." Diddy explained.

"I see," Jeff nodded. "Well, on to the challenge.

"You will have to walk over these metal bridges. You can grasp the sides for support, but you can't walk when your hands are touching the bridge. It's about 75 feet from where we're standing to the goal.

"If you fall, it's about a ten-foot drop. But you'll fall into the hottest hot sauce that money can buy. It'll sting like crazy, and if you swallow any, you won't be able to taste anything for a week. But it's only two feet deep, so no worries." Jeff smiled wryly at the contestants.

"First prize is fifteen coins, second is seven, loser gets two. _Positions…_"

"_GO!_"

Bowser walked carefully and collected. He occasionally stopped to regain his balance, but otherwise had no trouble. Diddy was having major trouble, wind-milling his arms every step. Yoshi was neck-and-neck with Bowser.

Bowser: I'm a big guy, so I don't move fast, but I don't topple easily.

Yoshi: I knew I was going to have to pick up the pace if I was going to win this. So I did, and it worked out, for a little.

Yoshi started walking, arms out like he was on a tightrope.

"Yoshi gains a lead!" Jeff yelled.

Diddy: When Yoshi started picking up speed, I wanted to yell, 'ARE YOU INSANE?'

A breeze blew, and Yoshi lost his balance and fell off.

Everyone held their breath.

But Yoshi flutter-jumped back onto the metal bridge! He was over three-fourths of the way!

Yoshi: Ha-ha!

Diddy: FLUTTER-JUMPING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Diddy falls off the bridge in shock. He screams as the stinging sauce seeps into his fur.

Bowser: I had to forge on, despite the wonder of Yoshi defying gravity.

"Diddy has an automatic third place! It's now between Bowser and Yoshi!" Jeff yelled.

Bowser kept a steady pace, but didn't catch up in time to Yoshi. Yoshi cheered when he crossed the finish line. "OUTCAST WINS AGAIN! WOO!"

Bowser finished the race and got his seven coins and walked off. Yoshi followed, laughing.

**Fire, Thursday**

Diddy came back, shivering, holding his sack of two coins.

"Two coins!" Toadette moaned, putting her head in her hands. "_Two coins!_"

Diddy explained what happened to his tribe. Everyone half-heartedly got back to work.

Daisy: I've heard of winners, but this is ridiculous.

Bowser Jr. looked around at the sad state of his tribe. Waluigi pulled him aside.

"Look at that," Waluigi said. "They're in utter need of a leader. A _capable _leader. And you're just the one to do it."

"Yeah," Bowser Jr. said. "But I have no idea how."

"I'll help you. Just do whatever I say. You get all the credit. You get all the glory. Fancy prizes will be ours for the taking. Whatdaya say?"

"I'll do it." Bowser Jr. said suddenly, which startled Waluigi.

"Well… okay, then." Waluigi managed.

Waluigi: Wow. If I'd known it was that easy to inflate Bowser Jr's ego, I would've done it a long time ago. FYI: Being the powerhouse and/or leader of a tribe isn't good in this game. Now I get to sit back and watch as our 'leader' bonds this tribe, is eventually considered a threat, and is voted off right before the Major Merge.

"First task:" Waluigi began, "Motivate the tribe. Give them a little pizzazz. A good general sees to his troops. Get it?"

Bowser Jr. nodded and got at the center of camp where everybody could hear him.

Bowser Jr: Everyone is just lying around, hating having no one to lead them. So, with a little encouragement from Waluigi, I decided to change that. It was hard work. Leading a motivated tribe is one thing, but leading an unhappy tribe is something completely different.

"All right, listen up!" Bowser Jr. called. "Diddy, I need you on hunting. Daisy, fishing. Waluigi and I will be cleaning the game. Toadette, cook us your usual tasty meal when the meat is ready, but in the meantime, scavenge for berries and the like."

The tribemates nodded, glad to have a leader.

"All right, everyone, let's give it our all." Bowser Jr. cheered. "There are no ifs, ands, or buts, I need 100% out of you!"

The Fire tribe cheered. In the background, Waluigi chuckled evilly.

**Hero, Thursday**

Bowser came back and added his seven coins to the Hero tribe's stash, which now had twenty-one coins.

Mario: Outcast seems almost untouchable in this game. I'm just glad we have an alliance with them.

Wario and Peach were sleeping under a coconut tree. Suddenly, Peach rolled over onto Wario's lap. Neither of them woke up.

DK got out the digital camera he had brought as his luxury item. He took a picture of the sleeping couple and swung into the trees before Mario could notice.

DK: _That_ baby's going right smack-dab on Facebook, first chance I get.

Mario walked over to Bowser. "Hey, uh, you mind teaching me how to play chess like you do?"

"I see no harm doing that," Bowser replied. They both sat down at the chess table and Bowser began showing Mario advanced tactics. Meanwhile, DK went hunting.

Wario rolled over onto a bush and woke up. Brushing the twigs from his overalls, he noticed that Peach was asleep and Mario was getting tutored by Bowser. Now was his chance.

Wario got into the shelter and open Peach's diary. He read a few pages, stifling his laughter.

Wario: Those girls and their diaries. No book is safe from Wario!

When Wario heard Bowser concluding his lesson, he closed the diary and put it back where he'd found it. He covered up his tracks in the mud and went out to help DK with hunting.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Dusk was falling, so Birdo started heating the dinnerware they had gotten at the Advantage challenge. Rosalina finished preparing the meat while the others loaded the tiles they had gotten into the wooden crate that once held the beds but was now empty.

The tribemates gathered around the table and started chatting while Rosalina and Birdo cooked the meal.

"Did you hear that the Hammer Bros. elected a new prime minister?"

"I dunno… that doesn't seem like something you could do with a Moo Moo and seven yards of rope…"

"And that's the hardest thing you'll ever do with a plow."

When dinner was served, everyone started digging in. The Buzzy Beetle that Yoshi had caught was more than enough to feed the entire tribe. Rosalina spiced it with wild peppercorns she had found on the island. Everyone loved it.

Rosalina: You try to complement Birdo, but she just blushes and turns away. The girl doesn't give herself _nearly_ enough credit. I can't make Buzzy Beetle that good!

Birdo: I guess when you just have a husband and a few kids to compliment you, you start to just figure that they're being polite. Having an almost total stranger compliment you, that's another story. I'm just glad I can do my part.

**Hero, Friday**

Mario woke up early. He went to check for Tree Mail. None. Mario went to gather more firewood.

Later, Bowser woke up. He went to check for Tree Mail. None. Bowser got his spear and went to hunt.

Still later, DK woke up. He went to check for Tree Mail. None. DK started patching the leaks in the shelter.

Mario came back with some logs and noticed that Wario was nowhere to be seen. He walked over to DK.

"You seen Wario?" Mario asked.

"Nope," DK said.

"You sure?"

"Positive,"

"Hmm…" Mario rubbed his chin.

"Think he's out to play another prank on Peach?" DK asked.

"I doubt it. Peach is in the shelter. Either way, she's not gullible enough to follow Wario into the woods," Mario said.

DK grinned but continued working. Mario looked at him. "What?"

"You seriously need to take a reality check," DK told Mario.

Mario: Okay, Peach is a _little_ gullible, but she _knows_ not to trust Wario. Right?

Peach yawned from inside the shelter. "What's with all the _noise_?"

"Just chatting," Mario said. "Sorry to wake you."

"S'okay," Peach said. She got out of the shelter. "Hey, either of you seen my diary?"

"Diary?" DK asked.

"Yeah. I wrote in it last night, but I don't know where I put it," Peach explained.

Mario appeared to be putting the pieces together in his mind. "Y'know what, we can't find Wario either. How about we go look for him."

"Fine by me," Peach said. "DK, you hold down the fort."

"Roger," DK said.

DK: I hope Wario didn't steal Peach's diary, for his sake. I mean, Peach is nice, but _extremely_ hot-headed, and I wouldn't want to be at the receiving end of her rampage.

**Outcast, Friday**

After gathering the tribe, Rosalina recited the day's agenda and also said that she and Ed would be going to make demands of the Fire tribe.

"Demands? What demands?" Yoshi asked.

"The Fire tribe is terrified of us, or at least fairly frightened. They don't want us to steal their torch, so we require certain things of them. I was thinking a coin a day or ten up front for two weeks," Rosalina explained.

"But the Fire tribe only has six or seven coins," Yoshi said, confused.

Rosalina winked at him. "Exactly."

**Fire, Friday**

Daisy and Bowser Jr. were repairing the shelter when Rosalina and Ed walked into camp. Daisy gasped. Bowser Jr. whipped out his dagger and said, "State your business."

"An intelligent thing for a teenager to say," Rosalina said.

"That's a stereotype. Answer my question." Bowser Jr. held his dagger firm.

"Our business," Rosalina began, "is to create a treaty."

"A treaty?" Daisy asked.

"Well, duh," Rosalina rolled her eyes. "Do I really need to repeat myself?"

Daisy turned red with anger. Bowser Jr. saved face. "On what terms?"

"Ten coins up front, or a coin a day for two weeks. Consider yourself safe if you agree," Ed explained.

"But we only have seven!" Daisy complained.

"Pity, that. I suppose a coin a day it is," Rosalina grinned evilly. "Pay up."

"No way," Bowser Jr. said. "We don't want to lower ourselves to your sleazy level."

"Then consider your Tribal Torch burned." Rosalina started to walk off, but Daisy stopped her.

"Fine," Dasiy said, putting an Ancient Coin into Rosalina's palm. "if you attack, though, consider _your_ Tribal Torch burned."

"A smart choice," Rosalina plainly stated. She and her entourage walked off.

**Hero, Friday**

"WHY'RE YOU LOOKING THROUGH MY _ING DIARY?"

Peach kicked Wario in the one place a boy should never be kicked. He fell down in pain.

DK: Ouch. You could practically see the steam coming out of Peach's forehead.

Mario: We found Wario hiding in the leaves of a coconut tree. Beat's me how he got there. Anyway, he was thoroughly reading Peach's diary. We shook him out, and Peach dealt with him in a relatively un-ladylike manner.

Bowser: If I were Peach, I would burn that diary.

Peach: I have a feeling one kick in the crotch isn't going to get it through _that_ guy's head.

Wario: That's going to hurt in the morning.

**Outcast, Saturday**

Rosalina woke up early, as usual. She got the Tree Mail down from the coconut tree and read it.

_While most would want to flee,_

_One'll eat the candy grown on trees,_

_And cross a valley filled with hate,_

_And win some coins before it's late._

Rosalina walked off to the challenge grounds.

**Fire, Saturday**

After reading the Tree Mail to her tribemates, Diddy asked for volunteers. "I can't do it because I did the last one," he said.

"I'll do it," Bowser Jr. said. "It's my turn."

Bowser Jr: If this is an eating contest, I'll win, easy. I just hope it doesn't involve running.

**Hero, Saturday**

"Peach, this sounds like your type of challenge," Wario stated.

"Why? 'Cause I eat a lot?" Peach asked loudly.

Wario: Peach and Bowser can eat a cataquack in a day. Since Bowser did the last challenge, it's Peach's turn.

"It is the most logical choice," Bowser said.

"Ugh. I'm glad I didn't eat breakfast yet," Peach groaned.

**Coin Challenge**

Across a valley were six podiums, each with about three cups of sugar arranged into three piles. Each had a different colored flag on top. Jeff was at the top of the gorge.

"Welcome to your last Coin Challenge before the Auction," Jeff said. "Bowser Jr, I hear that you're coming into the auction with fewer coins than usual."

"Yeah, thanks to Luigi." Bowser Jr. gritted his teeth.

"But not Rosalina?" Jeff asked, confused.

"Anybody, if given a chance like that, would have taken the coins. I have nothing against you, Rosalina, it was completely Luigi's fault."

Rosalina: I was genuinely surprised that Bowser Jr. blamed Luigi, one of his own, for the loss of their Ancient Coins to us. This is a red flag that we could still be invaded if our attackers are a bit more careful, which Luigi isn't. 

"Anyway, back to the challenge. Here's how it works.

"You each have to eat your pile of sugar with your hands. At the bottom is a gummy bear. You have to eat the gummy bear to move on to the next podium. No sugar is allowed to touch the ground. In other words, everything you touch with your hands you have to eat. The amount of sugar increases as you go on. First person to cross the gorge wins twenty Ancient Coins, second place wins ten, third three.

"Ready? _GO_!"

Everyone was off like a shot. Rosalina shoved sugar down her throat, making unearthly sounds.

Rosalina: If I have to eat a lot in a hurry, I can expand my throat and esophagus.

Bowser Jr: What Rosalina was doing could only be described as _creepy_.

Rosalina and Bowser Jr. were tied and on to the second podium. Peach was eating as fast as she could, but she couldn't seem to find the gummy bear. By the time she found it, Rosalina and Bowser Jr. were on the third podium.

"Bowser Jr. and Rosalina are neck-and-neck! Peach is falling behind!" Jeff yelled.

Peach: I'm not as bulky as Bowser Jr. nor have the capabilities of Rosalina. I was doomed to be dead last in this challenge.

When Rosalina and Bowser Jr. were on the fifth podium, Bowser Jr. gagged on a pile of sugar. Rosalina saw her chance and stepped up the pace. Peach was on the third podium.

Rosalina found the gummy bear in the sixth podium, ate it, and raised her sugar-coated hands in triumph. Bowser Jr. finished seconds later.

"Rosalina has won the Coin Challenge!" Jeff shouted. "Bowser Jr, Peach, I'll see you at the Auction in half an hour."

The three took their coins and headed back to camp.

**Fire, Saturday**

Bowser Jr. came back and told the story of the challenge. The tribe groaned when they heard that Rosalina won.

"Again!" Toadette moaned, pounding on a tree with every word. "_Outcast always wins_!"

Bowser Jr: Saying we're screwed is an understatement if we can't knock the wind out of the Outcast's sails.

"I'm going," Bowser Jr. said. "I hope we can get some decent stuff this time"

**Outcast, Saturday**

Rosalina: Da, da-da-da. Da-da. Da-da can't touch this.

"The other tribes bite the dust!" Rosalina yelled as she strutted into camp.

Ed: Rosalina's a braggart, and I'm getting a little sick of it. Oh, well, at least we're winning.

Birdo: This doesn't feel like Royal Survivor anymore. It feels like a luxury resort where you beat everyone else miserably.

"So, I'm going to the Auction," Rosalina said. "Wish me luck."

**Hero, Saturday**

Peach came back holding three coins. Everyone groaned when they heard Rosalina won.

Mario: I'm _so_ sick of being second-best!

Bowser: The Outcast tribe has over sixty Ancient Coins, by my estimate. We have twenty-four. Do the math.

"Bowser, you're turn," Mario said.

"Fine. I hope we can get something useful," Bowser said as he walked off.

**Auction**

Jeff and Ben were waiting for Bowser, Rosalina, and Bowser Jr. at the usual Auction spot: the top of a grassy hill. There were three chairs facing a table with five covered trays.

"Hello," Jeff said. "I hope you notice my apprentice is here. His purpose will become apparent after we auction off these wonderful items. But now, we have to begin. I hope you all know the rules."

Everyone nodded.

"Well, then." Jeff unveiled the first picture: a flute. "A high-quality flute, complete with a waterproof case. Ten Ancient Coins."

Bowser: When I was a boy, I took instrument lessons of all kinds, but I liked the flute the best.

Rosalina: We already have an instrument. I decided to be merciful.

"Ten," Bowser said.

"Eleven," Rosalina said.

"Twelve."

"Thirteen."

"Fourteen."

"Going once, going twice… SOLD! To Bowser!"

Bowser Jr: I'm kinda happy that my dad got the flute. He's really good at it. He practices every day at home.

Jeff covered the first tray and put a yellow sticker on it. "The next item on the list is…" Jeff revealed a picture of three steaming lobsters. "…well, what good Auction wouldn't have a fantastic food item?" Jeff smiled.

Bowser Jr: My mouth was watering when I just saw the _picture_! That's something I want, badly.

"Three lobsters, cooked to perfection. Fifteen coins."

Bowser opened his mouth to speak when Rosalina said, "Thirty!"

Rosalina: Later I realized that I could've gotten it for about twelve coins less. My max bid did thoroughly frustrate Bowser Jr, though.

Bowser Jr: ARRGH! I can't believe Rosalina did that!

Bowser: This confirms my suspicions of Rosalina's arrogance.

"SOLD! To Rosalina!" Jeff covered up the pictures of lobsters and put a green sticker on it. "Next on the list is…" Jeff revealed a picture of a flashlight. "Flashlights complete with 48 hours of batteries. Ten coins."

"Ten," Bowser Jr. said.

"Eleven," Rosalina said.

"Twelve."

"Going once…"

Rosalina hesitated.

"Going twice… SOLD! To Bowser Jr." Jeff put the lid back on the tray and slapped an orange sticker on it. "The next item is…" Jeff uncovered a picture of matches. "Twenty waterproof matches. Five coins."

"Five," Rosalina said.

"Ten," Bowser said.

"SOLD! To Bowser!"

Rosalina stomped her foot, anger showing on her face.

Bowser: It was nice to give Rosalina what you would call, 'a taste of her own medicine.'

Rosalina: I wanted those so bad! Darn.

Jeff covered up the picture of the matches and put a yellow sticker on it. "The last item…" Jeff exposed a picture of assorted paints, paper, and brushes. "Assorted paints, paper, and brushes. Thirteen coins."

"Thirteen." Rosalina said.

"Since none of you can bid higher than that, SOLD! To Rosalina." Jeff covered the image and put a green sticker on the lid. "As usual, you'll get everything in the morning. Now time for the news."

Ben stood up from his chair. "There will be _two_ Tribal Councils next week."

Everyone gasped.

"That's right. Jeff will be doing one, I'll be doing the other. The Advantage Challenge is for Individual Immunity and Tribal Immunity." Ben said. "If I were you, I'd be trying to prove myself to my tribe, or packing my bags."

The Royal Survivors walked to their camps in silence, carrying their new Tribal Torches.

Rosalina: Two Tribal Councils next week. Wow.

Bowser: I'll have to do some planning. Form alliances. Strategy is the key.

Bowser Jr: One thing's for sure: I don't feel safe at all.

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_The Outcast tribe exercises its artistic talents._

Yoshi: The whole interior of the shelter is covered in paintings. It's awesome to see those right before you fall asleep.

DK: I'm going to help keep the alliance firm, right? And I see the whole Outcast tribe painting and gluing and… laughing. Having a great time. I wonder what that feels like.

_The animosity toward the Outcast tribe grows._

"I just want to let everyone know that I hate the Outcast tribe!" Bowser Jr. yelled.

"I second that!" Daisy yelled.

Mario: It's just not right that a single tribe gains power over the others so quickly. It seems like every time I see Rosalina smile I want to feed her a poisoned potato or something.

Yoshi: I'm starting to get the feeling we're not liked.

_And both tribes scramble not to be eliminated…_

Toadette: I know I'm not liked. I have no friends in this tribe. So I decided to change that.

Daisy: Toadette's been making a pathetic attempt to make friends. I wish I could tell her it's _way_ too late, but then she'd go back to being the sour Toadette we all know and hate.

Mario: I've got to show those hunters what I'm made of.

…_which eventually leads to one getting injured._

"I'll take it." Mario said.

Mario's piercing scream tore through the air.

DK: I felt terrible, but I couldn't resist saying, 'I told you so.'

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	6. Episode Five

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Outcast continues to dominate the other tribes in challenges…_

Birdo: This doesn't feel like Royal Survivor anymore. It feels like a luxury resort where you beat everyone else miserably.

Mario: I'm _so_ sick of being second-best!

Daisy: I've heard of winners, but this is ridiculous.

…_and Rosalina continues to brag about it._

Rosalina: Da, da-da-da. Da-da. Da-da can't touch this.

"The other tribes bite the dust!" Rosalina yelled as she strutted into camp.

Ed: Rosalina's a braggart, and I'm getting a little sick of it. Oh, well, at least we're winning.

_Waluigi uses Bowser Jr. to lead the tribe without asserting himself as a threat._

"I'll do it." Bowser Jr. said suddenly, which startled Waluigi.

Waluigi: Wow. If I'd known it was that easy to inflate Bowser Jr's ego, I would've done it a long time ago. FYI: Being the powerhouse and/or leader of a tribe isn't good in this game. Now I get to sit back and watch as our 'leader' bonds this tribe, is eventually considered a threat, and is voted off right before the Major Merge.

_And Fire makes a voting alliance._

As Toadette and Diddy Kong got inside the shelter to fall asleep, Waluigi pulled Daisy and Bowser Jr. aside.

"Listen," He whispered. "We need an alliance."

"Say what?" Bowser Jr. said.

"You heard me. If we team up when the voting comes, we'll be able to vote off Diddy Kong and Toadette."

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Outcast, Sunday**

Rosalina woke up early, and went outside. She sniffed the air. She followed her nose until she found a box, which she pried open. She lifted the three cooked lobsters out of the box along with the various seasonings packaged with them.

As Rosalina was preparing the lobsters for breakfast, Yoshi wandered out of the shelter, sleepwalking. He soon reached the table, but Rosalina noticed him. A grin flashing across her face, she picked up a lobster and waved it around in the air. Yoshi's nose followed.

Backing away from the table, she walked around the campsite, Yoshi following the lobster she was holding. She hopped on top of the shelter. Yoshi, eyes closed, rammed into the wall, fell over, and woke up.

"Oww…" Yoshi rubbed his head. Rosalina roared with laughter. "What the heck?" Yoshi said. Rosalina hopped down from the shelter.

"You were sleepwalking, following the lobster," Rosalina explained. "Which I now have to finish preparing before it gets cold. I'm almost done, so go wake everyone else up."

"Where'd you get the lobster…?" Yoshi muttered as he went back inside the shelter.

When everyone sat down to breakfast, Rosalina served them the lobster.

Funky Kong: Where I'm from, you don't get fancy dinners like that. It was _good_, man.

Birdo: I've never been able to successfully prepare lobster. What I'd give to see how the chefs made that.

When everyone was finished, Rosalina told them the story of the Auction. Nobody seemed to care about the two Tribal Councils this week.

Rosalina: I'm not surprised nobody cared about the two eliminations this week. I mean, we've won every challenge so far. Why wouldn't we win this one?

**Fire, Sunday**

Everyone woke up and went to inspect the crate that had been deposited there in their sleep. Everyone groaned when they found out it was just some flashlights.

Waluigi: I have a feeling today isn't going to be pleasant. Especially with Toadette around.

Toadette: Can't we get some freakin' food for once?

Bowser Jr. told his tribe the story of the Auction. Everyone groaned when they heard there was two Tribal Councils.

Daisy: There's a ninety-percent chance that Outcast will win the Advantage Challenge. So you can guess where that leaves us.

Diddy Kong: This isn't good for me and Toadette. Every time Daisy, Bowser Jr, or Waluigi make eye contact, they look away, like, 'I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you,' or something. Waluigi's look is a little more sinister, though…

**Hero, Sunday**

A beautiful tune floated in from outside the shelter. Peach, asleep, smiled. Then the note turned sour and Peach, still asleep, cringed.

"Ack! I almost had that!" Bowser, who was outside, grumbled.

Bowser: The flute that had been sent to us was a bit, uh, smaller than I'm used to.

Wario: Bowser's lips are almost too big for that flute. He sounded pretty good, but he looked ridiculous.

DK: Bowser playing an instrument is weird enough, but a _flute_? I could believe him playing the cello or the tuba but the _flute_? And if you saw him, you'd know what I mean.

Peach: Try imagining Bowser playing an industrial-sized flute. If you don't burst out laughing, there's something seriously wrong with you.

Mario: Uh, yeah, I think there's a mistake. I ordered this flute supersized, with fries?

**Outcast, Sunday**

As the noon activity, Rosalina got out the paints, paper, and brushes she had bought at the Auction. She told everyone to get to work, or as she called it, break.

Bro Mamma: As long as I've been in the military, I've never heard anyone call out, 'Get to break!'

Yoshi came up to Rosalina and asked for pointers. Rosalina was happy to oblige.

"The problem," Rosalina began, "is that you're taking the self-portrait head-on. You're nose gets in the way of your face."

Yoshi: Gee, thanks. I know I have a big nose, but you just have to go out there and point it out!

Birdo: Yoshi is a bit sensitive about his nose. In my opinion, though, the portrait looked much better as a side-view.

When everyone was done, they hung up their posters in the shelter.

"All right, everyone," Rosalina called. "Depending on how much work we get done today, we'll have more—or less—time to paint tomorrow."

"What if we run out of paint?" Ed asked.

"Then we'll find something else. It's not like it'll all just incinerate. Which reminds me," Rosalina looked at Yoshi, "do we have any spare tiles left?"

"Yes, ma'am," Yoshi said.

Rosalina giggled. "Ma'am?"

Yoshi blushed. "Well, what would you like to be called?"

"Ma'am is good. That goes for all of you. Getting back on topic, Yoshi and Ed, you use the spare tiles to set up a wall around the firepit. I don't want the paintings to start a fire."

"Good idea," Ed said.

Rosalina: Ah, you poor, sweet Yoshi… you've paved the way for me to assert more power for myself.

Funky Kong: You've doomed us all, Yoshi, DOOMED US ALL!

**Fire, Sunday**

Diddy noticed there was Tree Mail and went to get it. He read it aloud.

"_Up the river you must climb…_

"_To reach the summit of your test._

"_But who will do it? My oh my,_

"_This looks like a true contest,_" Diddy finished. "Well? Anyone here a good swimmer?"

"I might as well have a PhD in it," Daisy grumbled, "but how do we know that we're swimming?"

"Who… cares? Sometimes you have to take one for the team." Toadette said.

"Take your own advice. And if you had _any_ idea of what I've been through—in water—then you wouldn't force me through this," Daisy said.

"Ignorance is bliss," Waluigi began, "and frankly I'd prefer not knowing. Especially if it has anything to do with that little fiasco a couple of weeks ago."

"I don't even want to talk about it." Daisy put her head in her hands.

"I swear I won't pressure you. That is, if you do the challenge." Waluigi looked at her expectantly.

"Fine," Daisy walked off. "At least I won't be up against Rosalina."

**Outcast, Sunday**

Once the message was read, Rosalina called out for volunteers. "Anybody here good with water sports?"

"I am!" Funky called out.

"Any others?" Rosalina ignored Funky Kong.

Funky Kong: Not cool, man. _Not cool_.

"C'mon, I won that other swimming challenge!" Funky complained.

"Last call for volunteers!"

Ed: Rosalina treats Funky like trash. He deserves it, most of the time, but he's a really good swimmer and _has_ won a challenge.

Ed raised his hand.

"Ed?" Rosalina asked.

"I volunteer—Funky." Ed pointed at Funky.

Rosalina rolled her eyes. "Fine, then. Funky you're up. Don't disappoint me." A green flame flickered in Rosalina's eyes as a warning to Funky.

**Hero, Sunday**

Bowser read the message. When he was finished, DK raised his hand.

"You volunteer?" Peach asked.

"No, I have spontaneous arm spasms." DK rolled his eyes. He walked off to the challenge grounds.

**Coin Challenge**

Jeff was waiting for Daisy, Funky Kong, and DK at the river in between the Fire and Hero camps.

"Welcome to the first Coin Challenge of the week," Jeff said. "Funky, how's you're arts-and-crafts project going?"

"Great, thanks. I made a painting just yesterday of a guitar and it turned out pretty good," Funky nodded.

"I'm glad. Think you could make the Royal Survivor logo?" Jeff smiled wryly.

"With a little hard work, maybe." Funky Kong grinned.

"Good, then. But now, the challenge rules.

"There are two ropes in the water. One is green, and is suspended in the air about three feet. The other is red, and it is level with the water. You will swim in the water, trying to get the green rope while trying to avoid the red one. If you touch the red rope, you're out. If you manage to grab the green rope, you get first place, or if someone has already, second, and so on. You can get first also by outlasting your other competitors. First place comes with five Ancient Coins, second two, and third zip. Ready…?"

The competitors got to their places in the water.

"_GO!_"

Funky Kong swum around effortlessly. DK was having trouble. Daisy was swimming efficiently, but with effort.

Funky did the backstroke up to the green wire. He looked up at it, as if measuring distance, and then leaped over it like a dolphin. "Hey, Jeff, does that count?" Funky yelled.

"Not unless you touch the cord!" Jeff yelled back.

Funky grinned and looked at his competitors.

Daisy: Now I see how we could lose to Funky. He's the strongest swimmer I've ever seen.

DK: I lift 200 pounds during the weekly workout, whereas Funky swims a marathon. I could kill him in a lifting challenge, but I can't do much good against him in a swimming challenge.

Funky continued to do flips over the cord for about two minutes. He then got tired and accidentally touched it.

"First place for Funky!" Jeff called. "It's now a competition for two Ancient Coins!"

Funky Kong: Man, that was a good workout. I'll have to add that to my routine when I get home.

Daisy was working hard against the current, while DK was losing ground.

Daisy: After what happened to me, I loathed being in the water, but I still couldn't break the current. I just prayed that DK would touch the red wire.

DK touched the red wire.

DK: By the time I got to that red cord, I was numb. At least I tried!

"Third place for DK! Second for Daisy! Come get your coins, folks," Jeff yelled.

Daisy: We were beat by Funky _again_. This will be the last time I underestimate Funky, and the others will best follow my example.

**Hero, Sunday**

DK came back empty-handed. He told the story of the Coin Challenge while lying down and drinking out of his waterskin. By the time the tale was finished, he was asleep from exhaustion.

"So ends another tale of failure by DK." Mario started cutting up spiny meat with his cooking knives.

"Y'know what, I'm just going to lay down in a hole and die," Peach moaned.

"Funky is a good swimmer?" Bowser rubbed his chin. "This is an interesting development."

"Develop this," Wario walked over to get his two-pronged spear he had built the other day. "We are so behind the Outcast tribe, it went past being funny into not being funny, and then past _that_ into being hilarious! I have no idea how the Fire tribe is doing, but ten to one _they're _catching up to the Outcast tribe, too! And where does that leave us?"

"Behind," Bowser concluded. "Far, far behind. But our Tribal Torch is well guarded."

They both looked up at the tree that held their Tribal Torch.

Wario looked at Bowser. "How much you wanna bet that Rosalina can't climb trees?"

**Outcast, Sunday**

"I won, don't be alarmed," Funky Kong said as he waltzed into camp.

"And I'm assuming you're not joking this time," Rosalina took the coins and added them to the stash inside the shelter. When she came out, she said, "Maybe, if you win an important challenge, I'll be able to trust you. Too bad you were responsible for that event two weeks ago."

Funky Kong: Man, you're _still_ holding that over my head? Move on, dude. Focus on the positives.

"I don't believe this," Funky said as he went to gather more logs.

"Believe it, bub. You win challenges, but are you competent enough to haul some decent logs?" Rosalina yelled after him.

Rosalina: Challenges aren't everything around here. They play a big part of daily life, but what's the use of reward food if it gets all wet from the rain?

**Fire, Sunday**

Daisy came back, grumbling, and threw her coins into the stash.

Bowser Jr. noticed the meager winnings and yelled, "I just want to let everyone know that I hate the Outcast tribe!"

"I second that!" Daisy yelled.

Waluigi: Our hatred of the Outcast tribe and eagerness to attack them will eventually be our downfall. We postponed that by voting off Luigi, but it's going to happen eventually with Daisy harboring a grudge against Funky Kong.

Waluigi pulled his alliance over where he thought nobody would notice. Toadette did, but didn't let on.

Toadette: I have the sneaking suspicion that they are forming an alliance against me and Diddy. I know I'm not liked. I have no friends in this tribe. So I decided to change that.

When the others were done talking, Toadette asked Daisy to taste test her food. She made small talk.

"You know how many poisonous plants there are on this island?" Toadette asked.

"Uh… a lot?" Daisy guessed.

"Well, there's so many, I might have put one in the stew!"

Daisy gently put down her hand-carved spoon and said she'd work on the shelter.

Daisy: While you're at it, Toadette, tell me how many people puked in the stew!

Bowser Jr: Toadette's been making a pathetic attempt to make friends. I wish I could tell her it's _way_ too late, but then she'd go back to being the sour Toadette we all know and hate.

Waluigi: I could make an awesome comedy skit, if I wanted. All the material I'd need would be in a few hours of talking with Toadette.

"What's that smell?" Toadette asked, sniffing the air.

"I don't know. Did you see that movie the other day?" Diddy asked.

"No, I'm serious, it smells _terrible_!" Toadette insisted.

Diddy: Pleasant Toadette is almost as bad as grumpy Toadette.

**Outcast, Monday**

Rosalina walked outside the shelter when the sun was a quarter of the way across the sky and found the daily Ancient Coin hanging off of the Tree Mail tree.

Rosalina: Life is good.

Rosalina plucked the coin and added it to the stash. Birdo came out and started preparing breakfast. Rosalina went over to help her.

"Mornin'" Rosalina said, shivering. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good, when compared to how the other tribes are sleeping," Birdo replied, putting the cooking stone on the fire. "The built-in firepit is a nice touch."

"Which reminds me, today is laundry day."

"What laundry?"

"The bed sheets."

"Then it's an easy day."

"Pardon?"

Birdo drizzled some water on the stone to test how hot it was. No sizzle, so it wasn't hot enough yet. "I use to do the sheets in the course of a day, on my own."

"Well then, if you take on some extra work, we can get a floor inside the shelter." Rosalina added a stick to the fire.

"Who do you need?"

"If you put some water on as soon as you're done with breakfast, I could get Funky to move the beds outside and help set up the tile. I'll be making the cement, and Yoshi will put in the tile. As soon as Funky's done, you can have him do whatever. The stone hot enough yet?"

Birdo tried the water test, and the liquid sizzled and disappeared. "How'd you like fried Buzzy Beetle for breakfast?"

"White meat, please."

"Done. Get the others up. I can't stand people sleeping in when they could be working."

"Then that's something we have in common." Rosalina smiled and walked into the shelter.

**Fire, Monday**

Daisy was tending to the fire. Bowser Jr. was, too. Toadette was gathering sticks. Everyone was huddled around the fire for warmth.

Waluigi: A cold wind blew in this morning, waking everyone up early. We were all tired, so I relit the fire and everybody just laid around it, snoozing. 

Diddy: I went to the Outcast camp to drop off the daily tribute, and I saw that nobody was awake yet. Figures, when you have a windproof shelter.

Bowser Jr: Nobody was talking much. Not much to talk about out here.

Toadette: I wonder what the Hero tribe is doing?

**Hero, Monday**

Everyone huddled around the fire for warmth, which was indeed pretty warm because Bowser added some hefty logs to the flames. Peach, Wario, and Mario were still shivering because of the cold wind biting at their backs.

Mario: I-I'm s-s-so c-cold… again…

Bowser: Yet again, it's cold, and yet again, I'm perfectly fine.

Peach: Having a flimsy shelter sucks. What I'd do to join the Outcast tribe.

DK: It's kinda annoying that if you get too close to the fire you burn, and if you get too far away you freeze, and even in the best spot you're miserable.

Wario: What I'd give to be entertained right now. Too bad Bowser threw away his flute after he saw us all laughing at him.

**Outcast, Monday**

After breakfast, Birdo noticed that there was tree mail.

"Hey, guys, this letter looks a bit different," she said.

The letter was a bit bulgy and was blood-red. Birdo got it down and handed it to Rosalina, who opened it. On the inside was a red button and a message: PUSH↓.

Rosalina pushed the button. An alarm blared and a voice said, "WARNING! DANGER! WARNING! DANGER!"

Everyone looked around. The sky was partly cloudy, but the wind was picking up.

Rosalina looked around. "The rest of the day off, inside the shelter. I'm pretty sure this isn't a joke. Yoshi, get the four rice rations. Funky, get the cauldron. Also," Rosalina looked up at the sky. "set some pots out. Birdo, get all of the dinnerware safely inside. Everyone else, and everyone who finishes their first task, get everything you can carry inside and under your beds. It's going to be crowded, so manage your space accordingly. The meat stays outside, but in pots and pans nearby. Get to work!"

Everybody rushed in different directions. The wind was blowing things everywhere, making putting things away difficult. Rosalina was barking orders. "THIS IS AN EMMERGENCY SITUATION! TRY TO STAY CALM! GET INSIDE WITH EVERYTHING YOU CAN CARRY AS SOON AS YOU CAN!"

Once everything was inside, Rosalina herded everyone into the shelter and barred the door. The wind was howling now, making it hard to move. Everything was somehow crowded inside, making it impossible to light a fire.

"Good job, everyone," Rosalina got under her covers. "Laundry day is postponed. I'll go over the schedule after the storm stops. Good job, everyone. Now try and rest and conserve warmth."

Ed: I swear, the wind was about to blow me away. I'm glad Rosalina reacted to the letter so quickly.

**Fire, Monday**

The wind was howling and the rain was torrential. Everyone was holding on to whatever they could to prevent it from blowing away.

"Hey it look's like there's Tree Mail," Diddy squinted.

"Hardly the time now, Diddy," Waluigi said through clenched teeth.

Daisy: That rain was at least 75 miles per hour. We must have been caught in a hurricane. 

Bowser Jr: Trees were falling all around us. Our shelter will be destroyed by the time this storm is over. The only good thing about this is that a tree might demolish the Outcast's shelter. Fat chance, though.

Toadette: Pouring rain and buffeting wind does not help one's mood. To make matters even worse, my hair was getting messed up.

Waluigi: Toadette was going on and on about how her hair was getting messed up. Only she would.

Diddy: My fur is soaked. We're barely going to get any sleep, if any at all. I wonder how the other tribes are doing. 

**Hero, Monday**

"Hey, do you feel a breeze?" Peach asked Mario.

"Nah," Mario said.

It was a bit cloudy out at the Hero camp. There was no tree mail. Everybody was working on something or other.

"That's weird, 'cause I could swear that a cool breeze was passing through."

Bowser tested the air with his finger. "I believe that there's been a drop in barometric pressure."

"Baro-what?" Peach looked confused.

"I could go on and on about meteorology, but in short, when barometric pressure goes down, it rains," Bowser said. "Also, I need to talk to you and Mario," Bowser looked around, "in private."

"What does that have to do with baro-mi… baro-ma…"

"Just follow me. Mario! A word?"

Bowser ushered Mario over behind the Tree Mail tree and Peach, who was still trying to pronounce _barometric_, followed.

"Baro-mec… Baro-metic…" Peach stammered.

"_Barometric_," Bowser corrected, "and you can solve your speech dilemma another time. I have gathered you here to form an alliance."

"An alliance? What for?" Mario asked.

"Haven't you ever heard of one?" Bowser inquired.

"Yeah, sure, but us?" Mario looked puzzled.

"The strong, the weak, and the…" Bowser looked at Peach, who was trying to mouth the word _barometric_, and failing. "…Anyway, it's the most strategic move."

"Weak?" Mario looked offended.

"On scale to the rest of the tribe," Bowser said.

"What about Peach?" Mario said.

They both looked at Peach, who was still trying to pronounce _barometric_ and wasn't paying much attention.

"On scale to the rest of the tribe," Bowser concluded, "and it would be wise to align with the most intelligent member of the tribe."

"Okay," Mario nodded, "but how can I be sure I can trust you?"

"To be fair, how can I be sure I can trust _you_?" Bowser folded his arms.

"Fine. We are now in an alliance. Now, who do we vote off first?"

"Wario and DK are equal threats, but I'd prefer to get rid of Wario first before him and Peach have another one of their little, 'disagreements.'"

Mario smiled. "Agreed. High-five!" Mario raised his hand up in the air, and Bowser slowly, hesitantly high-fived him weakly.

"Way to take all the fun out of a high-five…" Mario grumbled.

"I apologize, I am unfamiliar with your urban concepts," Bowser said.

Mario and Bowser waked off.

"Baro-metrak… Barometric… _Barometric_! Hey, I did it!" Peach yelled. She looked around. "Hey, where did everybody go?"

**Fire, Tuesday**

"It's ruined!" Toadette moaned.

Bowser Jr. looked confused. "What're you talking about? The shelter's fine!"

"No, you idiot, my hair!" Toadette went to the river to wash up.

Everything laid in almost perfect order. The shelter was a bit banged up, but the others were working on repairing it.

Waluigi: I'd say that we got off pretty easy, based on the wind and rain. The storm stopped late in the evening, so everyone just decided to go to sleep.

Diddy got the 'WARNING! DANGER!' letter out of the coconut tree.

"A bit late for that, don't you think?" Waluigi chuckled halfheartedly.

"A bit inattentive, aren't we?" Daisy asked rhetorically.

"A bit annoying, aren't we?" Toadette said, irritated.

"Coming from you," Daisy said.

"Don't get me started."

"Don't mess with Toadette, Daisy, her hair's been ruined," Waluigi mocked.

"Oh no, call the fire department!" Bowser Jr. teased.

Toadette stormed off while the others laughed.

Diddy: I wish our tribe had more intimacy. I wish we could solve all our problems with words. We would be able to win _all_ the challenges! …And while I'm dreaming, I'd like a wheel of cheese.

Toadette: I hate my tribe. I have the feeling they share the same feelings for me.

Waluigi: At this rate, the only bonding we're going to do is by making fun of Toadette.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Everybody walked outside. Trees lay toppled everywhere, and the pots and pans they had left outside were a bit misshapen, if they even found them.

Rosalina got everybody to work cleaning up and unpacking the shelter. When everybody was finished, they got to work cleaning up.

Rosalina: From a practical point of view, the downed trees would make good firewood, and maybe a good barrier of spikes.

Funky Kong: Now that I think about it, what Luigi did last week was _majorly_ stupid. I don't have to be in the military to know not to approach from the _trail_.

Bro Mamma: Rosalina set Yoshi, me, and herself at setting up a spike barrier from all the fallen trees.

Ed: I'm starting to worry. What if Rosalina gets a little _too_ much control? What will we do without her? And I have to think about these questions _now_, before things start to get out of hand.

Birdo: Rosalina's _really_ mean to everyone whom she doesn't respect, which is one of the many reasons I don't like her. She's also really clueless about her unpopularity, which, sooner rather than later, is going to smack her upside the head.

Yoshi: Rosalina is just powerful. I don't know why. If she was normal, I guess, she'd be 6' 4'' and have obviously visible muscles.

Rosalina picked up a log five feet long and two feet wide, put it on her shoulder, and walked over while Yoshi gaped.

Yoshi: She must be an alien. I mean, she said she was from outer space. And I have been getting crop circles, lately, if that means anything.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Everyone was trying to rebuild the shelter with little success. Toadette leaned back against the Tree Mail tree.

"Hey," Diddy yelled over to Toadette, "ever hear of karma?"

"Nope, and my arms feel like lead, thanks for asking," Toadette grumbled.

"It's superstitious nonsense, in my opinion," Waluigi said, "but the basis of it is that if you commit good deeds, good things happen to you, and vice versa for bad."

"Uh-huh." Toadette mumbled, when a coconut, with Tree Mail attached, collided with her head and knocked her over.

"Wow. Maybe it's not as ridiculous as I thought," Waluigi chuckled.

Toadette scowled and read the message. "_Take a mountain,_

"_Let it swim,_

"_Turn it over,_

"_And you will win._"

"Crap, not another swimming challenge!" Daisy complained.

"No worries, Funky won't be participating…" Waluigi thought for a moment. "Though that brings a more troubling aspect to mind."

"Not _Rosalina_!" Daisy moaned.

"Shut up. And you think _I_ whine," Toadette growled.

"_I_ whine for the right reasons," Daisy retorted.

"Maybe I should go," Bowser Jr. said. "Just because I haven't gone in a while."

"You did the sugar challenge," Waluigi said. "If anything, I should go."

"What about Diddy?" Toadette asked.

Diddy shuddered. "I think I'm done with challenges for a while. I can't even smell myself without getting bombarded by spice. I don't even see how that was legal."

"So it's settled, then. I go, you work on the shelter while I'm gone," Waluigi concluded. "Jr, you keep them in order. Like always," Waluigi added.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Rosalina went to inspect the Tree Mail tree. She read the message, then left, without informing her tribemates.

Ed: I was looking for Rosalina, wondering where she'd gone, when I realized that it was Tuesday and she'd probably went to do the Coin Challenge. It was the straw before the straw that broke the camel's back.

Birdo: What Rosalina did _ticked me off_.

Yoshi: What the heck, Rosalina. You just left us in the dust, going off to do some stupid Coin Challenge.

Bro Mamma: What's worst about this is that she's probably going to come back, gloating, completely unaware that we're ticked off at her to the bursting point. I'm sure the other tribes feel the same way, and if Hero and Fire combine and attack us, we're in trouble.

**Hero, Tuesday**

DK and Mario were passing a coconut like a football, Bowser was playing chess with Peach, and Wario was off hunting.

Mario threw the coconut into the Tree Mail tree and it disappeared. DK went to get it, found it, and passed it back, but when Mario caught it, he noticed that there was Tree Mail on it.

Once the Tree Mail was read, Mario volunteered.

"No way," DK said, "If this has anything to do with climbing _or_ swimming, I'd be best at it."

"Yeah, but you went last time," Mario countered, "and I've proven myself adept at climbing ropes over the years."

"So?"

"So even if you were allowed to go, I would be just as good as you, if not better, in this challenge."

DK: Mario has a big head, and he tends to let it show. At least it isn't as big as Luigi's, otherwise we'd probably be in as bad a state as the Fire tribe.

Mario: I'm not overconfident like my brother. Against Rosalina, I'd have little to no chance of winning. Still, second on Tuesday is five Ancient Coins, and I'd be a fool not to grab them.

**Coin Challenge**

Rosalina, Mario, and Waluigi met at the challenge grounds. About twenty feet out into the ocean, there was a tall pillar with three ropes attached that went from the surface to ten feet above the ocean, one yellow, one orange, one green. There was a small platform, no more than six inches wide, at the bottom of each rope. The players climbed up to the top, where Ben was waiting for them. Mario and Waluigi shivered from the wind.

"Salutations, my friends," Ben greeted, "this is your last Coin Challenge before your first Double Elimination. Rosalina, I notice you aren't shivering."

"Nope," Rosalina said proudly, "I was trained not to show weakness."

Waluigi laughed sarcastically. "Rosalina, you sound like you're complimenting yourself, but it feels like you're insulting us."

"That's because I am," Rosalina said, not making eye contact with Waluigi.

Waluigi was stunned. He said in a mock voice, "'I was trained to show weakness. I'm better than you.'" Mario laughed, and Rosalina scowled.

"On to the challenge," Ben said.

"You will each climb _down_ these ropes, as in upside-down, to the small pillar at the bottom. For some of you, it will be merely a few feet. For others, it will be a few, grueling miles. First place gets ten, second five, third one. On your mark… get set… get set-er… are you set?" Ben received looks of annoyance from the contestants. "Well then, by all means, _GO!_"

Rosalina nimbly climbed down the rope in less than ten seconds.

"First place to the lovely Rosalina!" Ben yelled while Rosalina climbed back up her rope.

"Why, thank you, Ben," Rosalina said when she got to the top.

Waluigi: You'd think after losing so much, we'd get used to it, but it still hurts. A lot.

Mario: LOVELY? ROSALINA?

Waluigi clung to the rope with all his might. Mario tried to make progress, but ended up slipping and falling into the waves.

"Second for Waluigi!" Ben yelled. Everyone picked up their leather Ancient Coin bags, walking back to camp.

Rosalina: What a short challenge. An easy win, and now I have ten more coins! Woo!

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Yoshi was putting the finishing touches on a painting of the landscape of his farm. He hung it up in the shelter.

Yoshi: The whole interior of the shelter is covered in paintings. It's awesome to see those right before you fall asleep.

DK creeped up through the foliage. He frowned when he saw all of them enjoying their art supplies, and dejectedly trudged back to his own camp.

DK: I'm going to help keep the alliance firm, right? And I see the whole Outcast tribe painting and gluing and… laughing. Having a great time. I wonder what that feels like.

Rosalina walked into the camp and put her coins back into the shelter. When she came back out, she noticed everyone was staring at her.

"What?" She asked, confused. "Did I say something?"

"Not what you said, what you _did_!" Ed explained rather forcefully. "You walked off without giving us a chance to compete! I don't want to seem weak!"

"Well then, if your personal ego is more important than the nice things the challenges, and _I_, have brought you, go join the Fire tribe," Rosalina scoffed, picking up some paper, leaving Ed hanging. Ed was white with fury.

Ed: Wow. There's only one response to that: Go  yourself, Rosalina.

Bro Mamma: How the  did Rosalina get to be leader? I'm pretty sure it wasn't my decision!

"_So, now that you're back we thought we would tell you…" Bro Mamma began, "That you've been chosen for tribe chief!"_

Yoshi: Rosalina's a great ruler. But she's also a rotten, two-faced, egotistical, sarcastic-

"How did Rosalina get to be this good at _everything_?" Birdo quietly asked Yoshi.

"She wasn't picked last for a kickball game, that's for sure," Yoshi replied.

Birdo: Our tribe is pushed to the brink of self-destruction. Good thing the other tribes don't know that. Still, I don't know how much more we can take.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Waluigi came back and added his Ancient Coins to Fire's secret stash.

"Da, da da da! We lost," Toadette said sarcastically.

"Gee, that's a first," Daisy snapped at Waluigi.

"Don't be mad at me! Second is as good as first when you're up against Rosalina!" Waluigi said in his defense.

After Waluigi explained the challenge, his tribe members, though not happy, accepted second place.

Toadette: We haven't had a decent bonus since who knows when. God, I want some toiletries.

Diddy sighed and continued rotating the spiny he had cleaned earlier. Toadette began to brush her hair with the brush she had brought as her luxury item, because it was hanging loose around her face. Waluigi lit the fire with his machete. Daisy got her bathing suit and went to the river to wash. Bowser Jr. poked the newly lit fire with his dagger.

Bowser Jr: Rule number one of being a leader is to never lose hope. But what if you already did?

Daisy: Arrgh, I can't believe nobody can beat Rosalina! This is so _unfair_!

**Hero, Tuesday**

Mario came back with his Ancient Coin. Peach groaned. Wario rolled his eyes. DK pounded a tree, and Bowser just sighed.

Mario: Morale is at an all-time low. Confidence in _me_ is at an all-time low, too. I'm neither big nor buff. I've got to show those hunters what I'm made of.

Mario noticed DK struggling with a heavy log.

"What the heck?" Mario murmured, running over to DK.

"I'll take it," Mario told DK.

"Y-You sure?" DK gasped, each step an effort. "You're not the biggest of fellows."

"Trust me," Mario said, as DK thrust the log into his arms.

Mario's piercing scream tore through the air. A _snap_ was heard. Peach screamed. DK, adrenaline-fueled, threw the log off of Mario. Blood began to soak Mario's left leg. Medical rushed over.

Mario: I guess I was off-balance. Either that or I was just stupid.

DK: I felt terrible, but I couldn't resist saying, 'I told you so.'

"I told you so," DK roughly said as Mario was carried away on the stretcher.

Wario turned away, clutching his stomach. Peach had a tear running down her cheek. Bowser wiped his nose. DK sat down and put his head in his hands.

Bowser: Mario's proposal to take the log just to impress us crossed from idiotic to insane. He won't make such a mistake again in the future. But, as the law of club and fang dictates, the crippled must go. I was forced to change my alliance plans.

Wario went to the river to lie down. Bowser gathered DK and Peach around in a huddle.

"I regret to tell you, Peach, that Mario must go. If we are to have a Tribal Council tomorrow, we cannot keep any cripples if we are going to win _any_ challenges. DK, I formally invite you into our alliance," Bowser explained.

"Wow. Okay. Didn't know you had one," DK mumbled. "Sure, I guess. So we vote out Mario?"

"Hold it! Why Mario?" Peach protested.

"Because Wario, although moderately annoying, can do work that Mario would be unable to do. And I'm sure that you've pulled some pranks in your years. I know I have," Bowser explained.

Peach found herself without a comeback.

Peach: It's hard to argue with Bowser. Period.

"Fine," Peach agreed, unhappy.

"Mario, then Wario. By then there will be a Merge, and then we will have new meat to vote off. That is, unless they have a foursome alliance, which is highly unlikely," Bowser said.

The alliance adjourned.

**Advantage Challenge**

The three tribes were led to three platforms raised about ten feet off the ground, one yellow, one orange, one green. Massive weights that varied in size were attached to a rope that hung limply on the platform. Each tribe got on their platform. Jeff and Ben were standing on their own platform in the center. Mario was on crutches, but he still made it onto his platform.

"Good afternoon," Jeff said. "For two of you after this challenge, it will be goodbye. Outcast, who do you think it'll be?"

Yoshi opened his mouth to speak, but Rosalina interrupted him.

"It's tough to say. We're a tightly knit group, and I haven't seen any alliances forming," she said.

"Yoshi, your expression tells otherwise," Jeff said.

"Well, duh. Rosalina, you can't know _everything_ that goes on in this camp," Yoshi said.

Rosalina rolled her eyes. "You underestimate me. I have a photographic memory."

"Prove it. What painting did I make while you were at the Coin Challenge?"

"A painting of corn. I saw it hanging up in the shelter, it had your signature, and the paint was fresh."

Yoshi was stunned. He stomped his foot in agitation, while Rosalina grinned in triumph.

"Hero, who do you think's going home?" Jeff asked.

"Dunno," Wario said. "I haven't seen any voting alliances forming."

Bowser shook his head.

"Fire, any guesses?" Jeff asked.

"Toadette," Diddy said. "She hasn't been scoring popularity points with us lately. That and she's a little socially awkward."

Toadette flushed red and scowled at Diddy.

"On to the challenge. Ben, if you will." Jeff motioned over to Ben.

"Well, it's simple. Grab your rope, and pull up the weight. You have to pull up your approximate team weight. That means, Fire, you have to lift 650 pounds, Hero, you have to lift 1100 pounds, Outcast, you have to lift 900 pounds. First to the top wins. Oh, and you'll like your reward," Ben explained.

"Your reward being a buffet of candy and, for those of us who watch our weight, fresh fruit for all!" Jeff yelled.

Everyone was in awe, whispering among themselves.

Daisy: We haven't had anything but meat, bananas, and coconuts for _days_! I _so_ want a Twizzler right now!

Rosalina: I've recently started packaging Star Bits as candy, and I hope that's on the menu.

Diddy: CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!

Peach: I'm kinda turned off sweets from the brownie/Wario incident, but some ripe strawberries is enough incentive to lift my weight.

"However, the tribes that _don't_ get the reward have to go to Tribal Council, and that's always bad news," Ben said.

"Everyone get in position…" Jeff yelled, "Ready, get set, _GO_!"

Everyone struggled to get the weight off the ground. Beads of sweat dripped off of Birdo's face.

Birdo: Being a mother, I'm a little overweight, but still I should've been able to lift my weight. At least, so I thought.

Rosalina opted for the 1-2-3 _pull!_ Method, but still made little progress.

Rosalina: Hey, I may have perfect endurance, but I lack severely in strength. One hundred pounds is my max, though if I want to impress someone I may use physics and a little extra strength to lift, say, a giant log.

"Ten minutes into this game, and a tribe has yet to lift the weight!" Jeff yelled.

Bowser dug himself into the platform, but Peach and the injured Mario were impeding progress.

Mario: Even though I had the best medical treatment Survivor could muster, it still hurt to put weight on my leg. I think I might be the reason we couldn't lift the weight.

"Come on," Rosalina yelled. "One, final effort!"

Bro Mamma: I only had the life left for one more, dramatic pull. So I did. And it worked, baby, it worked!

The Outcast's weight slowly lifted off of the ground. Groaning, the Outcast tribe pulled up their weight, and it hit the bell at the top.

"Outcast wins the Advantage Challenge!" Ben yelled. The Outcast tribe let go of the rope and collapsed in triumph.

"We won…" Ed wheezed.

Ed:  , that was tiring! I thought I was going to explode!

Diddy: Candy…

Daisy: That just wasn't right. We had an advantage of _250 pounds_! Why couldn't we pull through?

Daisy threw back her head and screamed in frustration. Diddy whimpered and put his head in his hands. Peach sighed. Bowser Jr. moaned in defeat.

Bowser Jr: Just kill me now… Outcast doesn't deserve the satisfaction.

Rosalina was rolling on the ground, laughing at Daisy's pain.

Funky Kong: At first, I looked at Daisy screaming and thought, 'What a baby.' But I look at Rosalina, and she's rolling on the ground, laughing…

Bro Mamma: Rosalina's the devil without the horns.

Rosalina: Get a life, Daisy. People don't scream like that on national television.

**Outcast, Wednesday**

Outcast went back to their camp, finding candy laid out on every available surface. Snickers, Skittles, Whoppers, and more littered the table, and another, new table was covered in fresh fruit.

"They even got Star Bits!" Rosalina yelled, pointing to a large container of the colorful treats.

"Star Bits?" Ed asked, confused. He picked up a bag of Swedish Fish.

Rosalina bit into a Star Bit, and honey ran down her face. She wiped her neck and drank the rest of the sugary liquid.

Rosalina: You find these out in space, no joke. They're candy on the outside, and are filled with a honey-like substance on the inside. They're ridiculously messy, but _soooo_ good!

Funky grabbed a piece of fudge. Birdo nabbed some honeydew. Yoshi cut open a cantaloupe, scooped out the insides, and began to devour it. Bro Mamma started cutting the tops off of strawberries and eating them.

"Wonder who's getting voted off?" Rosalina asked.

"For Fire, it looked like Toadette, but since she's pretty weak, I'd say Waluigi. He's not much of a people's person," Ed said.

"Guys, we're trying to _enjoy_ our reward! Not talk about gameplay!" Birdo scolded.

Birdo: Rosalina _always_ brings up gameplay when we're trying to enjoy our reward. Can't I relish a Twix bar in silence?

Rosalina: Birdo seems to be missing the fact that when you're on a game show, you have to _play_ the _game_. Otherwise it comes back to haunt you later.

**Fire, Tribal Council**

Jeff led the Fire Tribe to a different location for Tribal Council, but it was set up the same way. Jeff seated himself at the desk behind the fire. There were only five desks this time.

"Waluigi, is it any surprise to you that you're at Tribal Council?" Jeff asked.

"Not really. Outcast's been in a consistent winning streak, and until Rosalina goes home, that's not really going to stop," Waluigi said.

"Bowser Jr, do you agree?"

"Yeah. Rosalina's the powerhouse behind this game, with her gone, it's a less lopsided playing field," Bowser Jr. said.

"Daisy, you emitted quite a display of dissatisfaction at the Advantage Challenge. Care to explain?"

"Most people at home are probably thinking, 'Oh, she hates to lose.' I _don't_ hate to lose. 'Well, then, you hate losing to the Outcast tribe.' Wrong again, they deserve it every bit as much as I do. 'Well, then, why did you scream?' I hate losing to _Rosalina_," Daisy said.

"Diddy, do you feel the same way?"

"Gosh, we _all_ feel that way, probably even the Hero tribe feels the same. I even felt some resent for Rosalina in her _own_ tribe," Diddy said.

"Well, we'll see how it all plays out, except for one of you. Vote for the person who you don't want to be here. With luck, that'll be the person who's torch is snuffed," Jeff explained.

The voting began.

Daisy wrote down Diddy's name.

Daisy: As much as I hate Toadette, I have to stick with my alliance and vote you off before the Hidden Immunity Idols come into play.

Diddy wrote down Toadette's name.

Diddy: This is the safest vote.

Toadette wrote down Daisy's name.

Toadette: What you did at the challenge was an _amazing_ display of weakness. I don't think we can afford to have you in our tribe anymore.

Once all the votes were handed in, Jeff started tallying them.

"First vote: Daisy." Daisy rolled her eyes.

"Toadette." Toadette wrung her hands.

"Diddy." Diddy looked around, confused.

"Diddy." Diddy clawed his desk.

"The third person voted off of Royal Survivor is: Diddy. Your tribe has spoken. Pack up your things that you want to take with you."

Diddy dejectedly walked back to camp, knowing that he would never see it again.

Diddy: It's been fun, and all, but I seriously don't know where that came from. It just shows how much I know about this game.

**Hero, Tribal Council**

Ben met the Hero tribe at the typical Tribal Council grounds. He sat behind the fire. There were five desks, besides his.

"So, Heroes… you surprised that you ended up here?" Ben asked.

"Not really," Mario said. "We are made up of the strongest and weakest players."

"How's it feel only to have one Ancient Coin in your pot, Bowser?"

"It makes me feel like there's something we could've done to make a difference," Bowser stated.

"Any clue who's getting voted out?"

"None," Wario said, wiping his nose.

"Well, vote, and you'll find out," Ben sat back in his chair.

Peach wrote down Mario's name.

Peach: I know this is the wrong decision, but I have to stay true to my alliance. Get well soon, Mario!

Mario wrote down Wario's name.

Mario: Though I'm pretty sure my alliance turned against me, I'm staying true to it anyways. I hope they feel guilty.

Wario wrote down Peach's name.

Wario: I know this is kinda random, but what the hey?

"I'll tally the votes," Ben picked up the jar that had been passed around.

"Peach." Peach flinched when she heard her name.

"Mario." Mario sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Mario." Mario didn't respond.

"The fourth person voted off of Royal Survivor is: Mario. Pack up your cooking knives, if you want to keep them," Ben said.

Mario snorted. "I'm afraid Peach'll cut herself. Bad." Mario walked back to camp to get his things.

Mario: I learned humility due to Rosalina. Thanks for that. I also hope you'll be brutally crushed next week!

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Rosalina comes to collect, but Daisy refuses, leading to drastic punishment._

"Do not tamper with me, girl," Rosalina said ominously, her eyes a dangerous shade of green.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON HERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ORDER US AROUND!" Daisy screeched.

Rosalina's body erupted in green flames. The Fire tribe screamed and scattered, green fire engulfing their camp. None of the flames seemed to touch them, though.

_Rosalina's tribe turns against her…_

"YOU'RE SUCH A SADISTIC _!" Funky yelled at Rosalina. Calming himself, he said, "You're going home."

Funky plunged his own Tribal Torch into the campfire. Nobody tried to stop him.

…_so she leaves, but bestows a curse._

Rosalina's body darkened and stretched until it became invisible. A voice out of nowhere said, "**You will be condemned to be second-best.**"

_And Daisy finally spills the beans about what happened to her in Episode Two._

"I think now would be a good time to tell us what happened," Waluigi said.

Daisy drew a shaky breath, trying to quell her inner anguish. "O-Okay."

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	7. Episode Six: Part One

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Rosalina begins to arouse hatred in all three camps…_

Birdo: Our tribe is pushed to the brink of self-destruction.

Daisy: Arrgh, I can't believe nobody can beat Rosalina! This is so _unfair_!

Ed: Go  yourself, Rosalina.

…_and keeps winning anyways._

"First place to the lovely Rosalina!" Ben yelled.

"Most people at home are probably thinking, 'Oh, she hates to lose.' I _don't_ hate to lose. 'Well, then, you hate losing to the Outcast tribe.' Wrong again, they deserve it every bit as much asI do. 'Well, then, why did you scream?' I hate losing to _Rosalina_," Daisy said.

_Mario is brutally injured, and Bowser changes his alliance plans…_

Mario's piercing scream tore through the air.

Bowser: Mario's proposal to take the log just to impress us crossed from idiotic to insane. He won't make such a mistake again in the future. But, as the law of club and fang dictates, the crippled must go. I was forced to change my alliance plans.

"I regret to tell you, Peach, that Mario must go. If we are to have a Tribal Council tomorrow, we cannot keep any cripples if we are going to win _any_ challenges. DK, I formally invite you into our alliance," Bowser explained.

…_which leads to Mario being voted off._

Peach wrote down Mario's name.

Peach: I know this is the wrong decision, but I have to stay true to my alliance. Get well soon, Mario!

Mario: I learned humility due to Rosalina. For that, I thank you. I also hope you'll be brutally crushed next week!

_And in the end, Diddy is voted off, also._

Daisy: As much as I hate Toadette, I have to stick with my alliance and vote you off before the Hidden Immunity Idols come into play.

Diddy: It's been fun, and all, but I seriously don't know where that came from. It just shows how much I know about this game.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Hero, Wednesday**

The Heroes walk to camp, put out their torches, and huddle inside the shelter to go to sleep, even though it's barely nightfall.

Peach: Ughhhh… I'm so sick of losing! Outcast has a clay shelter, dozens of coins, and tribute from Fire, and I can't even get some  in' makeup!

DK: Now that I'm in an alliance, I need to stay in it, because I think we'll be voting a _lot_.

Bowser: …Maybe I miscalculated. Outcast does not rely on Rosalina alone. The whole Outcast tribe is strong.

Wario: We need to get our act together, and fast.

**Fire, Wednesday**

Daisy: We've lost so much it's become a cliché. I'm on edge right now; I want to get back at Outcast so bad!

Daisy takes the tribute coin from Toadette, saying that she'll give it to Outcast themselves.

Toadette: Hey, if you want to visit those idiots, be my guest. But if you keep the coin, we're all screwed.

Daisy sneakily puts the coin back in the Ancient Coin bag.

Daisy: Sure, they'll be consequences, but what could Outcast do? …that's legal, anyway.

Bowser Jr: I saw Daisy acting all sneaky around the coin purse, and if she was taking some for a secret stash, I'm all for it. If Outcast robs us, at least we'd have a bit left over.

Waluigi: Bowser Jr. said that Daisy might be making a secret stash of Ancient Coins, but I'm not too sure. That girl hasn't shown any foresight since she put on a rubber suit when we went to tour the radioactive plant.

Waluigi walked over to Daisy, who was at the fire. "So, where's the secret stash of coins?"

Daisy looked confused for a moment, and then said, "If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore."

"We're a tribe here, no matter what _you_ may think, and we deserve to know," Waluigi reasoned.

"Says the super-secretive businessman. If I can't trust you to make a decent buy at an Auction, why would you deserve to know where the money is?" Daisy argued.

"Then why didn't you tell Bowser Jr?" Waluigi asked.

"He'd just tell you."

Waluigi snorted. "He's smarter than you think."

"Oh please," Daisy said, "he thought Peach was his mom!"

Bowser Jr. dropped the logs he was carrying. "You wanna know the truth? Dad hypnotized me. Drugged me so that I would do whatever he said. I had a _girlfriend_, God! What would I want with some dumb blond girl? And _why_ would I think she was my mom?"

"Oh, how sad," Daisy mocked.

"Drugs wore off a day after Mario pummeled me," Bowser Jr. continued. "I almost ran away."

"What an interesting excuse," Daisy said, "I almost believed you."

Bowser Jr. growled. He inhaled, and blew all of the ashes from the almost extinct fire onto Daisy.

Daisy coughed and spit out black saliva. "UNCOOL!"

"Know your place," Bowser Jr. said ominously. "or you'll get us all killed."

**Outcast, Thursday**

Rosalina went to check the Tree Mail tree, and saw that nothing was there. "That's strange," she said.

She went over to Yoshi, who was chopping up logs, and asked him, "Have you seen the daily tribute?"

He shook his head. "Maybe you should ask Ed. He specializes in that sort of stuff, you know, economics, I think."

Rosalina nodded and went over to Ed, who was looking at the near-empty paint bottles, trying to find a use for them. He noticed Rosalina, and said, "Good timing, Rosalina. You know of any way we could reuse these paint bottles?"

Rosalina looked at them for a minute. "Take water from the river, and wash them out, _don't_ wash them _in_ the river, so we can use them as canteens."

Ed clapped his hands together. "It's genius! Thanks, Rosalina. I'll get on it right away."

"Before you do, Ed, have you seen the daily tribute coin?"

Ed scratched his chin. "Not hide nor hair. Ask around. Someone's bound to have it."

Rosalina thanked him and searched around camp. There was nothing to be seen.

"Funky!" Rosalina called.

Funky swung over from the treetops. "You yelled?"

"Come with me. We're going to raid the Fire tribe."

"All right!" Funky said, but then he looked up. "Uh... it's day out…"

Rosalina started walking along. "Fire is too afraid of us to put up a fight. All I request is all of their Ancient Coins."

"But, uh, y'know, we have a lot…" Funky continued, swinging along beside her. "Don'cha think we should, like, play fair, for once?"

"Survivor isn't a game about _playing fair_," Rosalina emphasized those few words to sound like a sissy was saying them. "It's about out-witting, out-playing, and out-lasting all of the other players on this star-forsaken island. It's not about just being sneaky. It's about getting to the top by all means, and getting rid of all who oppose you. It is the same in warfare."

"But, Rosalina, umm… last time I checked, people _vote_ who wins, and people don't really like you very much. Outside our tribe, I mean," Funky argued.

"No matter, I can easily change my style of gameplay once people start getting on the jury," Rosalina said. "But for now, I will keep Fire and Hero at their weakest, and simultaneously keep Outcast at its strongest. By any means necessary." She added.

Funky gulped at that last statement, wondering how far Rosalina would go. He was about to find out.

**Fire, Thursday**

Bowser Jr: My dad was always telling me about the stillness before battle… and today it was unbearable. Every cell in my body itched to get out of camp, because I knew something bad was going to happen.

Daisy: Bowser Jr. was acting all weird. Every now and again he would twitch a bit, and he wasn't getting much work done. He kept muttering to himself, 'Gotta get out, gotta get out.'

Waluigi: Bowser Jr… you never know what he's thinking. Being raised in a family of psychos, hey, I sympathize, but I think he knew something he was scared to tell us.

Toadette: Yawn… why am I here again? Oh yeah, B.J. Don't know, don't care. If it was that bad, he'd run away like a sissy. It's _so_ hot today, I can't stand it. What I'd give for an air conditioner.

There was some rustling in the bushes. Bowser Jr. jumped towards it and yelled, "BACK!" scaring Toadette silly.

"Ahh!" she cried, dropping the berries she was holding. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COLLECT THOSE?" She pounced on Bowser Jr, and they rolled across the ground.

Daisy pulled Toadette off of Bowser Jr. "Man, Bowser Jr, what's with you? I know things are tense, and all, but-"

"Oh, please," Waluigi said from nearby. "That scuffle's been coming for weeks."

"N-No, she's right," Bowser Jr. sharpened his claws on his dagger. "We Koopas have a sixth sense when it comes to danger," he explained. "More so in my case. Something _really_ bad is about to happen, I'm sure of it."

"Now it's _my_ turn to say, 'Oh, please,'" Daisy said. "You just ate the wrong berries for breakfast."

"Listen to the boy," Waluigi said. "He obviously knows something. Bowser Jr, come with me." Waluigi took Bowser Jr. for a walk in the woods.

"Now that the geezers are gone, what'cha wanna do?" Toadette asked Daisy.

"Well, you could start by paying us the tribute you neglected," Rosalina said from right behind Daisy.

Daisy spun around and almost smacked Rosalina in the face. "Wha-… how…"

"The _what_ is quite simple, Daisy," Rosalina smiled sarcastically. "You did not pay us tribute today. The _how_ however, I'm leaving _you_ to explain. Pay us our Ancient Coin, and we will leave in peace."

"We?" Toadette asked. She looked up to reveal Funky hanging in the treetops above. He smiled and waved.

"What if one of your goons misplaced it?" Daisy asked, fully aware that she hadn't delivered the coin.

"The citizens of my tribe are hardly _goons_, deary. I asked every one, and they are always honest with me," Rosalina said.

"Don't call me 'deary,'" Daisy growled. "And they're only honest with you out of fear."

"Fear or not, I know that none of them have it," Rosalina said.

"I bet you have it and you're trying to con another coin off of us," Daisy said.

"I always play by the rules," Rosalina said.

"No, you don't. You always use some alien ability to tip the scales," Daisy accused.

"Those were not against the rules," Rosalina clarified, "If you want to prove that you're not _completely_ worthless in challenges, be my guest. But in the meantime, I'm collecting my Ancient Coin, whether you give it to me or not."

"No," Daisy spread her arms out in front of Rosalina, preventing her from passing. "You're not telling me what to do anymore."

"Do not tamper with me, girl," Rosalina said ominously, her eyes a dangerous shade of green.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON HERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ORDER US AROUND!" Daisy screeched, letting out all her frustration and anger at once. "EVEN IF YOU ARE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON HERE, YOU'RE STILL A CONTESTANT LIKE THE REST OF US!"

Rosalina's eyes were completely green now, and her body glowed with a greenish light. Toadette was backing away, and Funky was gaping. "I'll give you one… last… chance."

Daisy picked up a handful of ash from the firepit and dumped it on Rosalina, permanently staining her clothing.

Rosalina stared at the stains for what seemed like hours. When she looked up, her pupils were gone, only green flames were left. Toadette was running away, full blast. Funky was backing up.

Bowser Jr. and Waluigi were back now. Bowser Jr, upon seeing Rosalina, drew his dagger, ready to attack. But all the training in the world couldn't prepare any of them for the rage of a Star Queen.

Rosalina's body erupted in green flames. Columns of flames streaked through the camp. The Fire tribe screamed and scattered, green fire engulfing their camp. None of the flames seemed to touch them, though.

Funky watched in horror as the Fire Tribe burnt down. Rosalina had no physical form, but she was still laughing like a maniac, which she was, in Funky's eyes. The flames were controlled, however, so there wasn't a forest fire, no burns, and no flames left over. Funky's tree remained unharmed.

When the damage was sufficient, Rosalina called off her attack and left without waiting for Funky. Fire had no shelter, no food, corrupted water, and basically no supplies left to survive. None of them were burnt, but most of them were covered in ash and spitting out mud.

Funky watched this tragedy. He gritted his teeth and returned to camp.

Funky: Rosalina isn't the leader we made her out to be. She's a ruthless criminal mastermind, who'll stop at nothing to get her way, and isn't afraid to desolate an entire camp to do it. It's too dangerous to have her in this game.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Ed: When I saw this huge plume of smoke coming up in Fire's direction I thought, 'Uh-oh.'

Yoshi: This is very, very bad. Rosalina went _waaaay_ too far this time… which is an understatement.

Birdo: She _burned_ the Fire tribe camp? I don't see how that's even _legal_ on this show!

Bro Mamma: If Rosalina hadn't shown her true colors before, she did now. _Evil_. You don't burn people's homes down. You just don't.

Rosalina came back to camp covered in soot and ash and dirt. She had a smile on her face, though. Her tribe looked at her, horrified.

"Well, I'd call today a job well done," Rosalina said triumphantly.

Funky marched to the newly finished well Outcast had dug. He got a bucket of water.

"Thank heavens, Funky, I'm parched," Rosalina said.

As soon as Rosalina was in range, Funky drenched her. The other tribe members gasped.

"_That_ was for the Fire tribe," Funky said.

Rosalina closed her eyes and spit the water out. Wiping the water off of her face, she said, "You idiot! You're supposed to be on _my_ side!"

"Not anymore," Funky said as he went to the Tribal Torch someone placed outside the shelter.

Rosalina saw this, and said, "Don't… you… dare!" Seeing that that just wasn't enough, she said, "We're supposed to be a _team_, Funky, dedicated to winning the game!"

"You _burnt_ the Fire tribe down!" Funky was infuriated.

"What's the point of the game without a little cruelty?" Rosalina pleaded, knowing that nobody in her tribe would help her if Funky burned Outcast's Tribal Torch. "Why don't you just have _fun_ with it?"

"YOU'RE SUCH A SADISTIC _!" Funky unexpectedly yelled at Rosalina. Calming himself, he said, "You're going home."

Funky plunged his own Tribal Torch into the campfire. Nobody tried to stop him.

Rosalina clenched her fists. Her eyes turned green, and the area heated up. Then a smirk crossed her face, and the whole area turned ice-cold. Rosalina's eyes were pure black.

**Hero, Thursday**

Peach: So, I was collecting firewood, when, all of a sudden, there's this big explosion-thingy at the Fire camp.

Wario: Then I hear some screaming, and smoke rose up way high.

Bowser: Approximately fifteen minutes later, the sky grew dark, and a freezing wind blew across our camp, probably the whole island.

DK: It was scary. I mean, I knew something bad had happened, I just didn't know how bad. I guess I'm just lucky my tribe was left out of it.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Birdo shivered. Everyone was frozen in place, afraid to move, for fear that Rosalina would burn down her own camp, too. But Rosalina had other plans.

Her outfit was now seeped in darkness. It began to cover the whole camp until the tribemates couldn't see anything but each other and the Star Queen.

Rosalina's body darkened and stretched until it became invisible. A voice out of nowhere said, "**You will be condemned to be second-best.**"

Then she was gone.

**Fire, Thursday**

Daisy: I saw Funky's facial expression when our camp was burned down. So I assumed by the weird wind and icy-coolness that he'd done something stupid and made Rosalina angry. I don't see a cloud of smoke yet, though.

Waluigi: …I don't know. I don't know what to make of the wind and cold. I thought Rosalina primarily dealt with heat, i.e. burning our camp down.

Toadette: MY HAIR IS _RUINED_!

Bowser Jr: The sense of danger is gone, thank God, but the uneasiness isn't. The chills that were going down my spine were multiplied when the unnatural wind blew through our camp.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Outcast looked at each other. They didn't know what to make of Rosalina's statement. They didn't feel any different, nor did they look any different. Their camp was still intact, and their tribal torch was still burned.

Funky got at the front of the group. "Hey, guys… I knew I probably got you into this mess, so I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Birdo said, "we wanted to get rid of her since last week."

"Yeah," Funky agreed, "but I can't lead you out of this. We need a new leader, one who isn't power-crazy, sadistic, supernatural, or a combination of the three."

Everybody looked at Ed.

"Hey-ey-ey! I don't want this job! For the most part, I only did what Rosalina said!" Ed exclaimed.

"Okay, then." Funky looked around. "Anybody else?"

Yoshi raised his hand. "I may not look like much, but I can be a leader if I want to. I'm a hard worker and a good organizer."

"Okay," Ed said, "what experience do you have in leadership?"

"I run a household with five kids," Yoshi continued, "I do all the paperwork for the whole family, including sports registration and inventory and management for the farm."

"Okay, let's vote on it," Funky said. "All in favor, say 'I'."

Everyone said 'I'.

"Congrats, Yoshi," Bro Mamma said. "Lead us to victory!"

**Fire, Thursday**

Bowser Jr: Everything's… gone.

Daisy: It's so barren, Toadette's run out of things to complain about. Scary.

Waluigi: There's a twenty-foot radius around camp that has no life, just piles and piles of ash.

Toadette: If Outcast even _thinks_ about showing their dirty faces around here again…

Yoshi and Birdo hesitantly walk into the Fire camp, or, what was left of it, gawking at the damage. Yoshi was uneasy carrying the lump sum of Fire's tribute money. Yoshi became even more uneasy when he saw Bowser Jr. drawing his dagger and Toadette balling her fists.

"Umm… hello…" Yoshi stammered, almost losing his footing on a blackened log.

Toadette ran toward the Outcast duo in a rage, but Waluigi held her back. "If Outcast is back after what they done… they must have a good reason." He gritted his teeth.

"Where's Rosalina?" Bowser Jr. demanded.

"Gone," Yoshi assured them. "She pulled some creepy act where everything was dark and spooky. Scared me stiff. But I just want you to know that we don't want the tribute anymore."

Birdo looked around, awed at the damage.

Birdo: Fire must have done something to make Rosalina furious. You don't make Rosalina furious.

"So where is she now?" Bowser Jr. demanded.

"Not at our camp," Yoshi said. "That stunt she pulled would've probably got her kicked off the show anyway."

"Good riddance," Bowser Jr. said, putting away his dagger.

"So why are you here?" Waluigi inquired. "Besides not wanting tribute anymore."

"We want to help you rebuild," Birdo offered. "It's the least we can do."

"…You just want our Tribal Torch!" Toadette accused after a moment's thought.

"Put it where we can't get it," Yoshi suggested. "None of us are evil like our former leader."

"Prove it," Toadette challenged.

Yoshi handed the sack of coins to Waluigi. "There's your tribute money, paid in full."

"I still don't trust you," Toadette insisted.

"You don't trust _anybody_," Daisy said. "Face it; we're as good as dead without their help."

Waluigi counted the Ancient Coins. "Everything's here. I say we see what they can do."

"I'll keep the Tribal Torch out of their range," Bowser Jr. said. "Everybody else help with the clean-up."

"Good," Yoshi said. "We'll be over as soon as we can."

**Hero, Thursday**

Ed discussed the plan with Funky on the way. They were going to collect from Hero what Hero had promised them in exchange for peace.

DK had a spear at Ed's neck the moment he had entered the camp.

"This is finely crafted, what was the material used?" Ed asked casually.

"I carved a log into five of these," DK bragged. "It was no easy task, either."

"I'll bet. Who's the leader of this camp?" Ed asked.

"Bowser, I think," DK answered.

"You think? You need to be _sure_. In times of crisis, there must _always_ be a clear leader," Ed said, walking past DK and into the Hero camp.

"W-Wait, a minute, you're not allowed to go there," DK said, getting in front of Ed, blocking his path.

"Relax, relax, we're all friends here. Though, if you're so afraid of Outcast, how about you bring Bowser _here_?" Ed proposed.

"_Bowser!_" DK yelled over at the camp.

Bowser trudged over to DK. "What is it now?"

"There's a guy from Outcast that wants to see you," DK said.

As DK walked off, Bowser asked, "Well? What is it?"

"Remember that treaty we made a few weeks ago that stated that we wouldn't attack each other if you agreed that whenever we asked, you would hunt double?" Ed asked.

"Yeah…" Bowser said uneasily.

"Now I want you to put it into effect," Ed said.

Bowser: I really didn't want to put my tribe through all that stress.

"We don't have enough game left to support you," Bowser lied. "Trying to hunt for both of us would put us on the brink of starvation."

"Well, that's too bad." Ed whistled into the treetops. Funky swung down so that Bowser could see him. Funky was holding a yellow torch.

"Not possible…" Bowser gasped. His expression hardened. "Fine. We'll provide for you for a week. No more than that."

"That's all I ask," Ed said coolly, walking off.

Bowser walked back to his camp to find his tribal torch there safe and sound, as if nothing had happened to it. Nothing did happen to it.

Ed: Rosalina had another stroke of brilliance the night before she left. She made two exact replicas of the other tribe's Tribal Torches that we would use for negotiations. What Funky showed Bowser wasn't Hero's Tribal Torch at all, only a well-crafted fake.

Funky: They totally bought it, man! If Rosalina wasn't completely nuts, I'd miss her.

**Outcast, Thursday**

Ed, Funky, Birdo, Yoshi, and the rest met up inside the clay shelter.

"They took the bait?" Yoshi asked.

"Hook, line, and sinker," Ed grinned, motioning to the fake Tribal Torch in Funky's hand. "And you?"

"I don't think they would've accepted our help unless they were desperate," Yoshi explained. "But it all went okay. So, I guess we'd better help them rebuild. Anybody got any ideas?"

"Let's make it basic," Ed said. "We want this thing to be up A.S.A.P, so we'll start with the basics and go from there."

"How about we lend them some clay for a firepit?" Bro Mamma suggested.

"Okay, okay," Yoshi said. "Bro Mamma, get the clay for the firepit, since it was your idea. Funky, help me build Fire's new shelter. Ed, help guide Fire through the rebuild. Birdo, cook tonight's meal, and check in with Hero every now and then to make sure they're hunting."

They all just stared at him.

"What?" Yoshi asked.

"You're giving out commands just like Rosalina…" Ed trailed off.

"Oh…" Yoshi stammered. "Does it make much difference?"

"Just don't go crazy on us, all right?" Funky asked.

"Got it," Yoshi said.

Yoshi: It was kinda weird of everybody to point out how I was giving commands. Maybe I just learned from Rosalina, ever think of that?

Bro Mamma: I don't think I'm prepared to impeach another commander. Yoshi seems nice… then again, Rosalina seemed nice at first, too.

**Hero, Thursday**

DK was readying his spear when he spotted the Thursday Tree Mail.

"Crap…" he moaned, preparing to be singled out, yet again, as the tribe's strongest member.

"That must mean Tree Mail!" Peach mocked as she used a coconut to knock the Tree Mail coconut off of the tree. "Let's see here…" Peach unfurled the letter. "_Bring your whole tribe_."

"What?" DK said.

"Are we supposed to bring our whole tribe to the Coin Challenge?" Peach asked, dumbfounded.

"No, you idiot," Wario said from nearby. "It's obviously another Advantage challenge."

"Hey!" Peach yelled indignantly.

"No, he's on to something…" Bowser, who was laying leaves to cover the shelter, said. "This isn't an ordinary challenge, at any rate. Let's venture to the challenge grounds, we'll find our answers there."

**?**

The three tribes boarded yachts at separate locations and made their way out to sea. They were to be out there for hours, and their behavior would decide who won the challenge.

**Hero**

The Hero tribe was locked in a room that had a dirt floor, a bamboo wall, and a low-to-the-ground bamboo table piled high with steaming rice, bananas, and a few bottles of wine. There were mats to sit on on each side of the table. The room was dimly lit by candlelight. A yellow Tribal Torch hung on the room opposite the door.

Bowser: It was a bit curious to stand on a dirt floor in a yacht, but otherwise, it was quite pleasant.

"This is probably about as luxurious as it gets in _Royal Survivor_," DK observed.

"Outta my way!" Wario yelled as he barreled through his tribe to get to the food.

"Patience is a virtue," Bowser reminded Wario, who paid no heed to his advice.

"Oh, please," Peach said, pouring herself a glass of wine. "Wario's been on the path to Hell ever since he wet his first diaper."

"True," Bowser admitted, "but there's no harm in trying."

DK used a wooden spoon to scoop some rice out of the pot. "This is nice, considering what we've been through."

"We only have some rice and bananas!" Wario exclaimed.

"And wine," Peach added, pouring herself another glassful.

"Gimme' some of that," Wario grabbed a bottle of wine and poured himself a glass.

"When I saw the yacht, I wondered what that had to do with Royal Survivor," Bowser said. "But now that I see this room, this is very much like our camp."

"How so?" DK asked.

"We are in a confined space with a limited food supply, dirt flooring, wooden walls, and poor lighting. The only difference is that we cannot leave to go hunting and we have no fire," Bowser explained.

"Ah," DK said, his question answered.

"Wonder how long we'll be here?" Peach asked.

Nobody knew.

**Fire**

The Fire tribe was in a room identical to Hero's, except it's torch was yellow and the room was coated in an orange light.

Toadette shuddered. "This place gives me the creeps."

"Well, might as well make the best of it," Daisy grimaced as she sat down on a mat and peeled a banana.

Bowser Jr. leaned against the wall in the corner for support.

"What's wrong?" Daisy asked.

"Seasick," Bowser Jr. said.

"Maybe eating would help," Waluigi said. "Starches don't upset the stomach."

"No thanks," Bowser Jr. said. "How much longer?"

"It's late, so I bet we're going to stay the night," Waluigi said.

Toadette and Bowser Jr. both groaned, but for different reasons.

"This place sucks," Toadette protested. "Just a crappy room with some food, mats, and wine."

"Pass the wine," Daisy said.

"Any particular reason?" Waluigi passed Daisy the wine.

"I want to be drunk before I have to listen to any more of this crap," Daisy poured herself a tall glass of white wine.

"I bet you'll make this whole endeavor worse for the rest of us," Waluigi wagered.

"Probably," Daisy agreed.

**Outcast**

The Outcast tribe was in a room bathed in an eerie green light. A green torch hung on the other side of the room.

"Creepy…" Funky managed.

"This kinda reminds me of Rosalina," Bro Mamma said nonchalantly. "You know, creepy, mysterious, dangerous. Like a terrible, horrifying-"

"Enough already, Bro Mamma," Birdo pleaded. "We're frightened enough as it is."

"We'd better stick together," Yoshi advised. "If there really _are_ surprises, then we should all try to figure them out. I have no idea what this challenge is, but it's probably a mind game of some kind."

Birdo poured herself a glass of wine. Yoshi heaped a ton of rice onto his plate. As everyone started eating, Ed stayed still and watched them.

"What's wrong, Ed?" Bro Mamma asked. "It's _delicious_!"

"That's what I'm worried about," Ed explained. "Maybe it has something in it that would make us, you know, freak out. And then there's Rosalina's curse to worry about."

"The one where we're 'condemned to second-place' or whatever?" Funky said with his mouth half full. "What's that have to do with the food?"

"We're not the only tribe doing this, which means it's a challenge," Ed said. "Which means that there are first, second, and third places. Which means-"

"That no matter what we do, we're going to come in second place," Birdo finished.

"If you can't avoid it, you can't avoid it," Funky said. "Let's just act like we always do, enjoy the food, and wait for this to end."

"No, no, you don't _understand_! Rosalina is somehow going to alter our behavior so that we come in second place!" Ed exclaimed.

"Ahh…" the Outcast tribe said in unison.

"I'm scared," Birdo said.

**Hero, Three Hours Later**

Peach was giggling for no other reason than being very drunk.

"I have the giggles," she said, then burst into a fit of laughter.

Peach had drunk about six glasses of wine, more than her other three tribemates combined. Bowser had drunk one, and DK and Wario each drunk two.

"How long has it been?" Wario, who was seriously considering gagging Peach with a banana skin, asked.

"Five hours, probably less," DK answered.

"Wario, you should brush your moustache," Peach said stupidly. "It's all zig-zaggy."

"Enough about my moustache!" Wario yelled. "It's as good as it's ever going to be!"

"If you painted it yellow, it would look like a lightning bolt," Peach suggested.

"Peach, dear, thunderbolts are white," Bowser said.

"No, silly, I know what thunderbolts look like," Peach said, unpeeling a banana. She stared at it for a minute. "You know what this reminds me of?"

"Please, Peach, no more vulgarities," Bowser took the banana away from Peach.

"Another glass of wine and she'd fall asleep on her feet," DK observed.

Wario perked his ears up. "You think so?"

"Positive," DK assured.

Wario poured a glass of wine to the brim. "Peachy, look, a magic pixie drink!"

DK couldn't help it. He started to laugh uncontrollably. Peach joined in. They laughed until they both fell on the floor. DK got up. Peach laughed herself to sleep.

"Good one, Wario," DK chuckled, rubbing his eyes.

"I should thank you," Wario rubbed his nose. "Now we got rid of the Royal Alcoholic."

Bowser laid Peach down, with her head on her mat. "For now, anyway. If any one of you should, per chance, stumble across some alcohol as a reward of some sort, promise me that you'll keep it away from Peach."

"Only if you'll help her through the massive hangover she'll have in the morning," DK said.

"Agreed," Bowser grimaced.

They all sat in silence.

"Now what?" Wario asked.

**Fire, Three Hours Later**

"You know what?" Toadette asked rhetorically. "I think we're in a challenge."

Waluigi laughed. Toadette scowled at him. "What?"

"Nothing, but still… it took you _that_ long to realize it?" Waluigi chortled.

"Nobody tells me anything," Toadette sulked.

Daisy, who was grumpy due to alcohol influence, said, "You never listen, anyways."

"I do too!" Toadette exclaimed.

"Oh, please. The only good thing you've done for this tribe is cook some rice," Daisy said.

Toadette clenched her fists and stood up. "You take that back!"

Daisy stood up and got in a fighting position. "Why don'cha _make_ me?" she challenged.

"SIDDOWN, both of you!" Waluigi barked. He rubbed his temples. "Oy, what I have to put up with…"

"Geezer," Toadette muttered.

"How'd you even get on this show, anyway?" Waluigi asked. "You're not the type of person who would fill out an application of their own free will."

"My mom signed me up," Toadette answered. "A million bucks could help the family business, she said. Why was I picked? Who knows. Survivor always picks the screwballs."

"So you _admit_ you're a screwball," Daisy said.

"Shut it, _princess_. You were picked, too," Toadette sneered.

Bowser Jr, who was recovering from his sea sickness and now just had a headache from the two girls' jabber, said, "Daisy, when I die, don't come to my funeral. You'll just get drunk and blurt out bad insults."

Toadette burst out laughing.

Daisy stood up. "You wanna go at it?"

"Sit down," Waluigi said.

"Okay." Daisy sat down meekly. "Like I'd come anyway."

"Yeah, you'd come. We all _know_ how much you _love_ me," Bowser Jr. mocked.

Daisy doused Bowser Jr. with her wine. After a moment, Bowser Jr. rolled over and said, "Could you get a little on my shell? Alcohol is so good for the skin."

"Now you're just making stuff up," Daisy concluded.

"No, I'll show you." Bowser Jr. grabbed Waluigi's wine glass and drenched Daisy. Toadette was on the floor, laughing.

Daisy stared at her ruined outfit. "_Why, you little-_"

"Oh, no, here comes _another_ bad insult," Bowser Jr. grinned.

"Enough, both of you!" Waluigi said. "Can't we have a pleasant conversation, for once?"

"No, come on," Toadette pleaded. "I want to see what happens next!"

"I already know," Waluigi said. "It involves Daisy strangling Bowser Jr, Bowser Jr. bludgeoning Daisy with his shell, them both getting kicked out of the game, and what's left of the Fire tribe getting divided because that automatically happens when there's only two members in a tribe!" Waluigi yelled, exasperated. "Now, BOTH of you, SIT DOWN, before you become the disgrace of your nation!"

Everyone sat down and thought about the previous events.

"Killjoy," Toadette muttered.

**Outcast, Three Hours Later**

"What time is it?" Funky Kong moaned.

"Adventure time!" Yoshi stood up suddenly and pointed toward the ceiling. When he noticed everyone staring at him, he sat down, embarrassed, and said, "S-Sorry, it's my kids' favorite show."

"A little hyper there, Yoshi, for all the wine you drank," Bro Mamma observed.

"I'm probably just drunk," Yoshi said miserably. "My head is spinning with all of this talk of curses and challenges and curses and challenges and-"

"Yoshi, you're repeating yourself again," Birdo told Yoshi.

"So, what you were saying, Ed, is that we'll come in second place, forever?" Bro Mamma asked Ed.

"Well, we were 'Condemned to be second-best,'" Ed explained. "It's pretty clear. And I don't think there's anything we can do to stop it."

"This sucks," Funky observed. "No more prizes, no more domination-"

"No more of the other tribes hating us," Birdo argued. "If our tribe gets divided, I like not to be hated. If we were, we'd get voted off first."

"We won't be divided," Ed said. Everybody looked at him. "There are three tribes, right? So there we'll come in second. It's third place that will be divided. Rosalina pretty much gave us second place forever."

"But what about when there's only two tribes?" Yoshi asked. "We'd lose, wouldn't we?"

"The curse probably doesn't apply to people outside our tribe, because only we were cursed. Still, if they become part of our tribe, the curse might apply to them, too. I just don't know," Ed explained.

They all pondered the implications of the curse for a moment.

"My head hurts," Funky complained.

**Hero, Late at Night**

Wario was the only one awake after hours out at sea. Peach was still dead drunk in the corner. Bowser receded into his shell for the night, and DK was snoring in the corner.

_Click_.

Wario turned around slowly. A drawer had opened in the corner. He went over to it. Inside was a pink book embroidered with rose petals. _Peach's diary_.

Wario quietly lifted the book out of the drawer.

"You're digging your own grave, pal," DK said from the other side of the room.

"How did you-" Wario began.

"Trained senses. We're on tape, you know. Sooner or later, she's going to find out. Then she's going to march right over to your abode and kick you in the nuts," DK predicted.

Preferring not to have his nuts kicked, Wario put the diary back and shut the drawer.

"Good dog," DK mocked.

"Watch your step, or I'm going to kick _you_ in the nuts," Wario threatened.

"Point taken," DK yawned, as he rolled over and drifted into peaceful slumber.

A secret compartment in the wall opened. DK didn't wake up this time. Wario stuck his hand into the compartment and read the message that was inside.

_Your morals are sound._

_Now turn around._

This was obviously meant for DK. Wario would've read the diary, cover to cover, if DK hadn't intervened. Still, Wario wasn't going to pass this opportunity up. He turned around. All he saw was the rice pot, now almost empty.

Wait a minute. Wario lifted up the pot without a sound. Underneath it was a crude green carving. _A Hidden Immunity Idol!_

Wario grinned and murmured, "It's _Wario_ time!"

**Fire, Late At Night**

Bowser Jr. yawned. He was lamenting on how close Daisy was to clobbering him. He was just irritated. He wanted to whack every one of those idiots with the torch above his head.

Bowser Jr: Toadette and Daisy have been going at it since the game began. I'm so _sick_ and _tired_ of this_ bickering_! I have seven siblings back home, and _we_ don't even argue this much!

_Click_.

Bowser Jr. unsheathed his dagger and darted toward the noise. It was only a drawer that had opened, on the opposite side of the room.

Before looking inside, Bowser Jr. walked over to where Daisy was sleeping and gave her one deft poke in the stomach.

Daisy rolled over and sleepily said, "_Ohh, Luigi…_"

Wrinkling his nose at the mental picture, Bowser Jr. quietly peeked inside the drawer. Inside were four Hershey™ bars. They were pretty big, about 4" x 9", Bowser Jr. approximated. Enough to compensate for the lack of luxuries that the Fire tribe had been dealing with.

Now, Bowser Jr. was a _huge_ chocolate fanatic, and one of the reasons he had been so irritable over the course of the game is because of withdrawal. This was more than enough to satisfy him, but… something told him not to do that.

Bowser Jr: We'd been bickering so much lately, we may never get out of this losing streak. Teams win. Divided teams don't. So I decided to be the good guy for once.

Bowser Jr. went around and silently placed a chocolate bar next to each of his tribemates.

_Click_.

"What now?" Bowser Jr. muttered. "If it's more chocolate, I'm eating it."

Pulling out and reading the same message Wario received, Bowser Jr. noticed a tiny switch on the Tribal Torch, which he had turned around when he hurriedly stood up. He flipped it. A compartment opened in the torch and a green carving fell out. _A Hidden Immunity Idol!_

Bowser Jr. picked it up and quickly hid it inside his shell. "So much for being a good guy," Bowser Jr. quietly laughed.

**Outcast, Late At Night**

Ed and Yoshi were still awake after a long day's suspicion.

"This is a _in' stupid challenge," Yoshi muttered, a little grumpy from the three glasses of wine he had drunk. "They expect us to just sit in a room all day and night and talk to each other? Stupid."

"You know," Ed began, "I don't think they put us in here _just_ for the challenge. There might be a surprise of some sort. When most of us are asleep."

"Yeah, right-" Yoshi began.

_Click_.

Yoshi seemed to jump ten feet up into the air, he was so startled. "What the _ was that?"

Ed calmly walked over to the drawer that had opened. He looked inside. It was a thick folder titled, **Survivor's Schedule**.

"'Survivor's Schedule?'" Ed repeated. "It's gotta be a trick."

"No, I don't think so," Yoshi said. "If it really is a schedule, then we'd have an advantage over the other tribes."

"You expect Survivor to just hand us the schedule? _That's_ stupid. Especially Royal Survivor. It's kind of, you know, nontraditional," Ed explained.

"Example?" Yoshi asked.

Ed gestured to the room they were in. "That, and it's getting pretty late in the game. What if this is for a Hidden Immunity Idol?"

"What, this is some sort of mini-challenge? Ridiculous," Yoshi waved him off. "Besides, who would get the Idol, anyway? You… or me?"

"The chief gets the Idol," Ed said.

Yoshi shrugged. "Fair enough. So, how do we get it, then?"

Ed looked toward the drawer. "Maybe we send this back where it came from?" Ed put the folder back and closed the drawer.

_Click._

A Hidden Immunity Idol fell out from inside the table. Yoshi quickly grabbed it.

"Do we tell the tribe?" Ed asked.

Yoshi stared greedily at the Idol. "I say we save it for a rainy day. Alliance?" Yoshi stuck out his hand toward Ed.

"Alliance," Ed agreed. They shook hands. The deed was done.

**?, Early Morning**

All three tribes converged on the deck of the cruise ship. Fire was happily eating the chocolate that Bowser Jr. had given them.

Daisy: He was like the little chocolate fairy who grants good girls _delicious_ chocolate. I still hate him, though.

Toadette: I'm allergic to chocolate, so I gave my bar back to Bowser Jr. It was the thought that counts, though, or so I'm told.

Hero was fresh from the good meal they had eaten, except for Peach, who had a massive hangover.

Peach: …Head hurts.

Wario: And they say _I'm _irresponsible. I am, but Peach takes it to a whole other level. 

Outcast was cautious of the other tribes and Yoshi was acting just plain weird.

Yoshi: I'm not the best liar.

Birdo: If you've lived with Yoshi as long as I have, you can tell when he's lying. And even if you haven't, you'd have to be pretty dumb not to notice him.

Ed: Yoshi insisted on holding the Idol, which only made the whole thing worse. He was kind of hiding away from the rest of us, on the edge of the pack.

A platform rose up from the ground. It was metal, but was covered in leaves and vines and covered in bamboo. A wooden ladder led to the top. The top platform was made of wood, and was about fifteen feet off of the ground. Jeff and Ben were at the top of it, standing near a giant roulette wheel. TVs booted up around the Survivors and showed Jeff and Ben on the screen. A giant scoreboard was directly behind them.

"Long time no see," Ben said, his voice amplified on the surround-sound speakers. "As you probably guessed, you were in a challenge. Your first Roulette challenge."

For a minute, shadows leapt from TV to TV and eventually landed on the scoreboard. The scoreboard showed Fire and Hero tied for first place, with Outcast in third.

"Roulette challenges are not like ordinary challenges," Ben explained. "The rules are mixed up and scrambled. The requirements are completely different than other challenges. This one was based on behavior. But since these challenges' rules are completely different, we didn't look for the all-around best behavior. We looked for the ones who made us bust our guts the most."

The shadows surrounded the "**3**" besides "**OUTCAST**," surrounded it for a minute, and changed it to a "**2**."

"After you all fell asleep, Ben and I voted on our favorite tribe," Jeff clarified. "There was a tie for first place between Hero and Fire. But since the rules for this challenge are completely unlike other Survivor games, there was no tiebreaker. Neither tribe won." Jeff's irises flashed green for a minute, startling Yoshi. "It was the second-place Outcasts who won the game."

Fire and Hero groaned. Outcast stared at each other in shock.

Daisy: Are you  in' _kidding_ me? We tied for first but lost to second, is that right?

Ed: This was an interesting outcome of the curse. We came in second, but won. That's such a paradox I was surprised that a rift in space didn't open up and swallow us all.

Bro Mamma: I felt some sort of really icy breeze once Jeff said we had won. The irony of this is just _delicious_!

Yoshi: I'm a bit disturbed… Oh, right, wasn't that 2 supposed to be a 3?

"Outcast, send one of your own up to the Roulette Wheel," Jeff commanded.

The Outcast tribe sent Yoshi up to accept the prize. He was their chief, after all.

Yoshi felt the cool sea air on his back and shivered when he reached the top. "Hello, Jeff. What do I do?"

Jeff led Yoshi to the giant Roulette Wheel and motioned toward the one-inch ball Ben was holding. The Wheel was divided into four sections that had thirteen holes each, one for each survivor. One section had a picture of someone lifting a huge block. Another had a picture of two people playing chess. The third had a picture of a person opening a present. The fourth showed nothing at all.

"You will spin the Roulette Wheel," Ben instructed. "The Coin Challenges will stay the same, have a different format, change to a different kind of challenge, or…"

"Or?" Yoshi asked.

"There will be no more coin challenges, or auctions, either," Ben grinned. "Blow on the ball for good luck."

Yoshi followed Ben's advice and threw down the handle with all his strength. The wheel spun round and round, and everybody below, having heard Ben and Jeff's instructions, held their breath and held high their own hopes for where the ball would land.

"Round, and round, the Roulette wheel goes," Jeff chanted, "where will it stop? Nobody knows!"

Yoshi: I was hoping for the present, because, y'know, it reminded me of rewards.

Daisy: I'm hoping the challenges will stay the same, because even if we never win, I'd like to stay in tip top shape.

Bowser: Changing the format would be delightful, for me. Physical challenges aren't really my forte, and who knows what could pop out of that present.

The Roulette wheel stopped on the present.

There were some hoorays, some groans, and some silence spread throughout the area.

"Yoshi, you have spun, and now the Coin Challenges will be converted to Present Challenges, in which you will compete for mystery prizes. Some are Ancient Coins, but most are objects that you will enjoy at home or at the camp," Jeff explained.

"But look out, because some presents hold nasty punishments," Ben warned.

"The Present Challenges will take place on Tuesday and Thursday, since you can win more Ancient Coins in them. Since we want at least one more challenge this week, the first Present Challenge will take place tomorrow. Also, in every Roulette challenge, your Ancient Coin counts will be reset. All of you currently have zero Ancient Coins," Jeff explained.

Everyone groaned.

"And Outcast, since you won the Roulette Challenge, you win exclusive, directors-cut Blue-Ray™ DVDs of _Royal Survivor- Season 1_, complete with your own Blue-Ray Players™!" Ben explained.

The Outcast tribe cheered.

Birdo: Just getting to watch this whole experience over again is more of a reward than I could ever ask for. Just think, years from now, when my children are old enough, I can show them all that I did on this show—maybe even how I won it!

Bro Mamma: It's going to be awesome replaying everything I went through back at home with a bowl of popcorn and some friends. We're going to see things that never aired, almost everything that went on tape!

Peach: I'm _pissed off_. That could've been ours! Even if there is some stuff that happened that I don't want to see again, I could fast forward.

Toadette: I wanted the Blue-Ray Player™ _so_ badly! Ugh, this sucks!

"Now rest up, get a good night's sleep, and wait for the Tree Mail tomorrow," Jeff said, "Because in five days, one more person will be eliminated, and the Merge Challenge will obliterate one tribe forever!"

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Outcast holds a mini competition among themselves…_

"If we race against each other, then one of us has to come in first!" Funky reasoned.

"It's worth a try," Yoshi agreed.

…_but the curse to confound them again._

Funky, Yoshi, and Ed all crossed the finish line at exactly the same time.

"So it's a tie for first!" Funky concluded.

"No," Ed murmured, "it's a tie for second."

_Fire celebrates their first win in weeks…_

Daisy jumped up into the air and did a girlish squeal.

Daisy: Ugh, _finally_!

…_only for it to end in disaster…_

"You have to spread these weeds across and through your camp," Jeff handed the large bag to the miserable Daisy. "Thistles, dandelions, poison ivy, you name it."

Bowser Jr: Basically, Daisy won us a disaster.

…_and Hero and Outcast triumph._

"Let me get this straight…" Peach began. "We lost, but we won?"

"That pretty much sums it up," DK said.

Wario: Hey, fifty Ancient Coins isn't bad by me. It's a good nest egg for a rainy day.

The Outcast tribe gaped at what they had won.

Birdo: Our camp is like a metropolis now, with all the prizes we won. We have beds, paintings, and now this.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	8. Episode Six: Part Two

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Rosalina burnt down the Fire tribe camp…_

Rosalina's body erupted in green flames. Columns of flames streaked through the camp.

When the damage was sufficient, Rosalina called off her attack and left without waiting for Funky. Fire had no shelter, no food, corrupted water, and basically no supplies left to survive.

…_leading to her being banished from her tribe…_

"YOU'RE SUCH A SADISTIC _!" Funky unexpectedly yelled at Rosalina. Calming himself, he said, "You're going home."

Funky plunged his own Tribal Torch into the campfire. Nobody tried to stop him.

…_but she left a curse behind._

Rosalina clenched her fists. Her eyes turned green, and the area heated up. Then a smirk crossed her face, and the whole area turned ice-cold. Rosalina's eyes were pure black.

Rosalina's body darkened and stretched until it became invisible. A voice out of nowhere said, "**You will be condemned to be second-best.**"

_All of the tribes were quarantined in their next challenge…_

"We are in a confined space with a limited food supply, dirt flooring, wooden walls, and poor lighting. The only difference is that we cannot leave to go hunting and we have no fire," Bowser explained.

…_and Outcast, though in second place, wins the reward._

Daisy: Are you  in' _kidding_ me? We tied for first but lost to second, is that right?

Ed: This was an interesting outcome of the curse. We came in second, but won. That's such a paradox I was surprised that a rift in space didn't open up and swallow us all.

_Wario, Bowser Jr, and Yoshi and Ed receive the Immunity Idols._

Wario grinned and murmured, "It's _Wario_ time!"

"So much for being a good guy," Bowser Jr. quietly laughed.

"Alliance," Ed agreed. They shook hands. The deed was done.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Hero, Saturday**

Wario: So, after the Roulette, we went home and got some sleep… that was basically it.

Bowser: We went and hunted and laid our kill next to the Outcast camp. They were all tucked away safely in their little abode… it made me a bit envious.

DK: I chatted up Bro Mamma yesterday and she said that Fire's camp was burned down. Maybe that's why we're hunting, so that they could rebuild. At least Rosalina isn't here anymore.

Peach: Ugh, dead Cataquack is so gross… wait, what are we talking about?

Peach noticed a ribbon hanging down from the Tree Mail tree. Not knowing what else to do, she pulled it down, and a small classic-present-style box fell and doinked her on the head.

Opening the box messily, she attracted the attention of Wario nearby. He grabbed the note out of Peach's hands and read it. "_Avoid the X present_."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Peach asked, confused.

"'X' is often an infinitive, used to stand for a number or operators in a mathematical equation," Bowser said. "It could also mean a pattern and it is a popular mark for a wrong answer to a question."

"Okay, braniac," Wario threw the note over his shoulder, "how about _you_ do this challenge?"

"It would be my pleasure," Bowser said. He walked off to the usual challenge grounds.

**Fire, Saturday**

After reading the note, Daisy, Waluigi, Toadette, and Bowser Jr. gathered around and tried to decide who would go up.

"I think Daisy should go up," Waluigi said. "Since this is a game of chance, we might finally beat Outcast."

"You know, I think I've been up enough lately," Daisy said. "What about you, Waluigi? You haven't been up in ages."

"Of course, but think about this: You being the first to witness the great downfall of the Outcast tribe! Think of the glory!" Waluigi said tantalizingly. "This might be your only chance."

Daisy thought about that for a minute. "Fine," she said. "You'll be sorry."

Daisy: Every time I've been up to the plate, it's been a disaster. This one will probably be too.

**Outcast, Saturday**

Everybody almost simultaneously nominated Yoshi.

"You're our leader, after all," Bro Mamma said.

"Somehow, I'm beginning to think that title is becoming a liability," Yoshi muttered as he walked off.

**Present Challenge**

Jeff met the contestants at a hillside carved out of what appeared to be three steep slides, one yellow, one orange, one green. Jeff was standing at a platform holding a large bamboo-coated briefcase.

"Welcome to your first of two Present Challenges you will compete in while there are three tribes. After Wednesday, there will be only two," Jeff said.

"You will not be competing for rewards. You will be competing for the opportunity to _earn_ a reward." Jeff ignored their looks of confusion and continued. "Also, I will give you a hint before I explain the rules: All that glitters is not gold."

Daisy: I'm not a riddle person. When I want to surround myself with puzzles, I watch _The Mole_.

Bowser: I immediately recognized the phrase and prepared myself for the worst.

Yoshi: That was a really famous phrase and I knew what I was in for. 

"First," Jeff started, "you will be blindfolded. You will pick a die from my briefcase. After you've picked, raise your hand, and you will be helped out of the field." Jeff thumped the briefcase on the ground twice. "Then, you will roll your die down your ramp and hope for the best. Highest score wins. And, just to let you know, these are some… unusual dice." On that ominous note, the Survivors were blindfolded, and Jeff spilled the contents of his briefcase on the ground in front of them.

Daisy: This was a strange challenge for all involved. Most of the dice on the ground were _not_ your ordinary Monopoly dice. 

Bowser: They were about six inches in diameter, on average. Some were bigger, some much smaller. They were also made out of bizarre materials.

Yoshi brushed his hand over a wooden twelve-sided die and quickly held his index finger to his mouth. "Ow! Splinter," he said.

Yoshi: At one point I picked up a die that had so many sides I couldn't count them blindfolded. I knew that was mine.

Yoshi raised his hand and was helped out of the field.

Daisy: I couldn't find a die that felt right.

Daisy and Bowser were both feeling around on the ground, completely unaware of each other. Daisy grabbed something near to the ground and said, "Hey, this one's like a cone!"

"That's my horn," Bowser said.

"Oops, sorry." Daisy wiped her hand in the dirt and kept looking. Finally she picked up a large six-sided die. She raised her hand and was assisted out of the field.

"Bowser, waiting on you!" Jeff called.

"You can't rush perfection!" Bowser replied. "Let's see, sides multiplied by size leads too…" Bowser picked up a four-sided die. "Here!"

After everything had been cleaned up, the player looked at their strange dice. Daisy had a regular six-sided die, but on five of its sides it had a '1' and on one it had a '50.'

"Ah, that's the 'All-Or-Nothing' die. Get lucky, and it's an instant win," Jeff explained.

Yoshi had a twenty-sided die, with its sides labeled 1-20.

"The twenty-sided die has the most side you can have on a die," Jeff said.

Bowser had a regular four-sided die. It could only rest with one point facing upward, so a number was clustered around that point.

"That is probably the worst die you could have in this game, but it could still win," Jeff said.

"Very reassuring," Bowser grimaced.

Everyone prepared to roll their die and hope for the best.

"On your mark, get set… roll!" Jeff yelled.

Everyone's dice tumbled down the slide, with Yoshi's arriving first and Bowser's arriving last.

Yoshi was a clear '5' and Bowser's was a clear '2,' but Daisy's teetered from the '1' side to the '50' side as all three held their breath. Suddenly, the shadows seemed to push Daisy's die so that it was a clear '50.' Daisy jumped up into the air and did a girlish squeal.

Daisy: Ugh, _finally_!

"First place to Daisy, second Yoshi, third Bowser," Jeff said. "Daisy, you pick first, Yoshi, you pick second, and Bowser, you get whatever's left." Jeff hopped off of his platform and removed the top of it. What was below rose up to reveal three presents. The one on the right was beautifully wrapped small box with the ribbons wrapping around the corners to form an 'X' pattern on the top. The one in the middle was a huge box that had the top latched to the middle. The third was a burlap sack hastily tied at the top.

"Well, Daisy?" Jeff urged. "Choose."

"Uhh…" Daisy said.

Daisy: Something was nagging me at the back of my head, something that had to do with that present…

"_All that glitters is not gold."_

Daisy: Oh, well.

"The one on the right," Daisy said.

Jeff unwrapped the present and lifted the lid. Inside was a very ugly plastic bag with seeds that looked very familiar. "You have to spread these weeds across and through your camp," Jeff handed the large bag to the miserable Daisy. "Thistles, dandelions, poison ivy, you name it."

Bowser: Daisy was never the one to remember things. I'm just glad _I _didn't get stuck with that box.

Daisy: Oh,  .

"Yoshi, you're up," Jeff said.

"All that glitters, all that glitters, all that glitters…" Yoshi repeated, deeply concentrating.

Daisy: Yoshi looked like he was trying to use X-ray vision on that box.

"The huge one, please," Yoshi finally answered.

Jeff unlatched the top and used a crowbar to open the box. Inside was a single letter. "Open it when you get back to your tribe," Jeff instructed, handing the letter to Yoshi.

Not waiting for Bowser, Jeff opened the burlap sack. Inside was a wealth of Ancient Coins. "Bowser, you've won yourself fifty Ancient Coins. Take them to your camp and rejoice."

Bowser: Fifty Ancient Coins… that was about how much Outcast earned in a week. Huzza!

Daisy: This…sucks…

Yoshi: I wonder what this letter is for…

**Hero, Saturday**

After they were done counting the coins, Peach happily threw some up into the air and gleefully said, "We're rich!" Then her expression changed to confusion. "Let me get this straight…" Peach began. "We lost, but we won?"

"That pretty much sums it up," DK said.

Wario: Hey, fifty Ancient Coins isn't bad by me. It's a good nest egg for a rainy day. Still, that letter Yoshi won looked suspicious…

Peach: We're rich! I can't _wait_ to rub it in Outcast's faces!

Bowser: Outcast lost for the first time today, but appears to have won something of value, while Daisy won a catastrophe. These Present Challenges are strange indeed.

DK: Finally, a stroke of good luck. It kinda seems fitting that Fire's bad luck still haunts them even today. And Outcast might have won something useful after all.

**Fire, Saturday**

The Fire tribe didn't even bother vocalizing their complaints when they found out the outcome of their challenge. They just got to work again.

Daisy: At least we won… sort of. 

Bowser Jr: Basically, Daisy won us a disaster.

Toadette: Forget being sick of losing, _now_ I'm sick of not winning decent prizes!

Waluigi: Daisy, I think, is the source of our bad luck. I pulled Bowser Jr. aside for a little chat.

"Listen, kid. Daisy is a burden to the team," Waluigi said.

"What? No, it's _Toadette_ who should be leaving. She tackled me just a couple days ago!" Bowser Jr. protested.

Waluigi hastily put a finger to his lips and looked around. Nobody noticed. "Quiet, Bowser Jr. Daisy has lost, sometimes miserably, on almost every challenge she was in. She's dead weight, kid."

"Don't call me kid!" Bowser Jr. said. "Toadette can't compete in challenges at all."

"But the merge is coming up, and if we're lucky, we'll get some strong people to do the labor. We align with them and coast to the finish with the Immunity Idol you have," Waluigi pointed to Bowser Jr's shell.

"Wa-… how…" Bowser Jr. stammered.

"Grew up on the shady side," Waluigi smirked. "You're not exactly a pro at hiding Idols. Leave it to me, Bowser Jr. For now, just lead the tribe."

Waluigi: I know how crime works. I also know how to backstab and betray. Believe me, Bowser Jr, you're going places. Unpleasant places.

Bowser Jr: Waluigi is a shifty guy. I don't believe him for a second. For now I'm just going to keep my Idol where he can't get it.

**Outcast, Saturday**

"What're you waiting for!" Bro Mamma pestered. "Open it!"

Yoshi: My tribe was like a pack of rabid animals around that envelope. After Ed got them under control, I opened it.

"Ahem…" Yoshi stared at the text. "'One of each of your loved ones is coming to stay with you from sunrise to sunset tomorrow!"

The Outcast tribe erupted into screaming and crying and shouts of 'Oh my God!'

Birdo: Our camp is like a metropolis now, with all the prizes we've won. We have beds, paintings, and now this.

Yoshi: My dad taught me everything I know about hard work. Maybe he can show me how to make the Outcast camp even better! …that is, if he's coming.

Funky: I have no clue who's coming for me. Seriously, I couldn't care less.

**Outcast, Sunday**

"Wake up, you ingrates!"

The Outcast tribe wearily shook themselves out of dreamland and woke up to a cacophony of 'I missed you!" "Look at what you've done here!" and "Where in the blazes did all these paintings come from?"

Ed shared a passionate kiss with his dearly beloved.

"You've been away too long, I can't _believe_ you made it so far in this game!" she said.

"Yeah, well, I was really just coasting through, Beatrice" Ed said modestly.

"Well, you better step up and be a leader!" Beatrice exclaimed, still overjoyed to see him. "They vote off the unnecessary people!"

"Don't worry, we haven't lost an Advantage Challenge yet," Ed assured her.

Bro Mamma was hugging her sister tight.

"Hey-… ow, leggo!" her sister shoved Bro Mamma away. "You're gonna crush me!"

"Aw, Katie," Bro Mamma smiled warmly. "How's high school treating you?"

"Well, there's this guy, and-… wait! How long have you been on this island?" Katie asked.

"Umm… one, two, _four_ weeks, that's it," Bro Mamma clarified.

Katie looked around. "This place needs, like, a _serious_ makeover," she said.

Bro Mamma grinned ear to ear. "Always nice to have you around, Katie."

Yoshi, his dad, Birdo, and her mom were all sitting outside discussing serious matters.

"Son, why do the other tribes hate you so much?" Yoshi's dad asked.

"Well, Dad, um, you've watched the show, right?" Yoshi said sheepishly.

"Yes, but I wanna hear _you_ say it." Yoshi's dad looked at Yoshi expectantly.

"Well, Rosalina was just being real nasty and unfair… and we always win," Yoshi said.

"That's right. Now, you have enough nice things. Even the playing field, then crush 'em. That's the honorable way," Yoshi's dad said.

"He's right, dears," Birdo's mom said. "People like you more if they can hold a candle to you. The Outcast tribe doesn't need many more things. We'll work from the land like your father did years ago, until the other tribe's caught up."

"Agreed," Birdo said.

Meanwhile, Funky was receiving a heck of a scolding from Cranky Kong.

"Look at this dump!" Cranky yelled. "It's wouldn't last a day where I grew up!"

"Well, gramps, it kinda did last a whole storm and stuff…" Funky trailed off.

"Well, at any rate, we have a lot of work to do around here, Gunky!" Crank hobbled outside.

Funky: My grandpa is kinda… out there. If he was senile, he probably wouldn't be out here, but you never know…

Yoshi gathered the now-doubled tribe and started giving out commands.

"Okay, I need half of you on the Fire tribe, and the other half working on refurbishing the Outcast area," Yoshi said.

"He's doing it again," Funky muttered.

Yoshi: Like it's _my_ fault Rosalina picked the most productive way to do everything!

Ed: Yoshi's already on thin ice from that Idol episode at the Roulette challenge. One false move, and it's a downward spiral from there.

**Fire, Sunday**

Daisy was helping rebuild. Unfortunately, she had a hard time concentrating because Funky was working right next to her.

Funky: I could tell Daisy was kind of isolating me. Not cool.

"You're not still mad about _that_, are you?" Funky asked her.

Daisy simply got back to work, completely ignoring her.

Funky: _Not cool_.

Other members of the clean-up were aware of Funky's frequent attempts to get Daisy's attention.

Katie: Funky was all, like, 'Please answer me!' and Daisy was all, like, 'No way, José.'

Waluigi: Daisy's pride must have been scared, or something along those lines, for her to react to Funky in such a manner.

Mamma Birdo: The poor dears. All Funky wanted was forgiveness.

Finally, Funky got fed up and stopped Daisy in her tracks.

"Now, you _listen_," Funky said, "and listen good. I know our little fiasco got us off on the wrong foot, and I know you're pissed off at me. But you're _in' acting like a six-year-old and it's getting on my nerves. You dig?"

Daisy nodded.

"Okay, but so help me _God_, I will humiliate you in front of _everybody_ if you don't at least explain to me what the _ is going on. Got it?" Funky asked.

"I think now would be a good time to tell us what happened," Waluigi said. Everyone present knew what he was talking about.

Daisy drew a shaky breath, trying to quell her inner anguish. "O-Okay.

"Here's the deal," Daisy said, well aware that she was attracting attention and she didn't want any more. "I was bathing, okay? In the river. And I like my privacy, see? Then _you_ come along and scare me _stiff_."

"But you weren't nude?" Funky asked.

"Heck no. But if you weren't doing you're little stealth monkey thing, maybe I would've thought to get the _ out of there before things got bad," Daisy explained.

"But there's one thing I still don't understand," Bro Mamma said, making no effort to disguise the fact that she had been listening. "Why did Rosalina go _ crazy when you told her what happened?"

"By then I realized that Rosalina used my love of video games to turn spying on the other tribes into some 'happy fun time' thing. So I did the one thing that would tick her off most," Funky explained.

"Which was?" Yoshi asked expectantly.

"I told her I saw Daisy naked," Funky said sheepishly.

With this, the whole area burst into chaotic laughter. Daisy slapped Funky so hard he fell over, but the damage was done.

Yoshi: …BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!

Daisy: I have never, or will ever be, so humiliated in my _whole life_.

Yoshi: HA HA HA HA HA!

Funky: Redemption… hurts.

Yoshi: HA HA HA HA HA… oh, man, that's priceless. I kinda feel sorry for Funky though. That looked like it hurt… But, oh man, HA HA HA HA HA!

**Hero, Sunday**

Back at the Hero camp, DK was trying to teach Peach swordfighting with modified spears, Bowser was draining coconuts into a red-hot colander, and Wario was trying to make sense of the Roulette challenge.

"Wait, so we were in the room…" Wario began.

"Yes," Bowser said.

"…we talked for hours…"

"Yes,"

"…and Outcast won because we tied with _Fire_?" Wario concluded.

"That is correct," Bowser said.

Wario's brow furrowed for what may have been the millionth time today. "I still don't get it."

Bowser stirred the coconut milk to keep it from developing a skin. "If you don't now, you never will."

"But, here's the thing," Wario continued. "We were tied for first, right? But then Outcast would've been third, right? Why did the scoreboard say _second_?"

"This is Royal Survivor," Bowser persisted for what may have been the millionth time today. "It's broken every Survivor rule so far. Why not break others as well?"

"But would they even have a _reason_ to?" Wario said. "It's just the scoreboard. Why would they even pay attention to it, besides putting the score up?"

"Maybe the producers have great attention to detail?" Bowser suggested. His stick broke in the pot. "Drat! Now where can I find another stick like that?"

Peach's sword flew from twenty feet away right into the pot. Wario sputtered when the hot milk splashed on him.

"Sorry!" Peach called.

"No harm done!" Bowser called back. He started stirring the soup with the sword.

"Harm done," Wario coughed. He brushed his arms and checked for burns.

Peach ran over. "What are you talking about, anyway?" she asked. She was damp with sweat, but appeared to be having a great time. She had probably decided to take a break while DK hunted for a new sword.

"Well, Wario here thinks something out of the ordinary happened in the Roulette challenge, and I am trying to remind him that, in Royal Survivor, _everything_ is out of the ordinary," Bowser said.

"Did you see the scoreboard?" Wario asked Peach.

"Yeah, one minute it said Outcast was third, and, right when Ben started talking, Outcast was second. Weird, huh?" Peach said.

Wario and Bowser looked at each other. This completely changed the conversation, tipping it in Wario's favor.

"Intriguing," Bowser said. "This find suggests Wario might be correct after all."

"Told ya," Wario said.

"Not so fast. If Outcast was second, and won, doesn't that suggest someone else being involved? Someone _besides_ the producers?" Bowser asked.

"Like, I dunno, _Rosalina_?" Wario prompted. "Face it, ever since the fire, things have been weird."

"Rosalina might have left something behind," Peach said, almost in a trance. Then she snapped out of it. "We, like, don't have much to go on. Let's call it a day."

"We don't have much to go on?" Wario exclaimed. "Let's see… There was a big fire, Outcast mysteriously got second place, Rosalina's suddenly gone, not to mention she's a freakin' _psycho_ and you say we don't have much to go on?" Wario was fuming. "If Rosalina really _is _gone, we shouldn't go 'Halleluiah' just yet, because she probably left some freaky voodoo behind just to mess with us!"

Bowser's stirrer broke in the pot. "Confound it, my stick broke again!"

"You're sti- I don't believe this," Wario said as he stormed off.

"Wario looks more freaked out of this than we do," Peach observed.

"With good reason. Rosalina is a formidable competitor. None of us have any idea what Rosalina might have left behind, except maybe Outcast themselves," Bowser said. Grabbing a coconut shell, he scooped some milk out of the pot, tasted it, and grimaced.

"How is it?" Peach asked.

"Tastes like stick," Bowser grumbled.

**Outcast, Sunday**

The Fire and Outcast tribes stood back to look at their finished shelter. It was circular, surrounding a tree. Six posts stuck out of the ground forming a hexagon that served as the support of the shelter. Vines were tied to the posts and wrapped around the tree, which were then covered with a few more vines to serve as the outline of the structure. Large leaves provided the roof and some boards were laid down for the floor. Fire's Tribal Torch hung high above the shelter on the tree, and was shielded by a wooden canopy.

It wasn't much, but they had done it in half a day, which was something.

The tribes had exchanged thanks and, by then, Outcast's visitors had to leave. Sad goodbyes were shared by all.

Katie was embracing Bro Mamma tightly.

"Have I crushed you yet?" Katie asked.

"Keep trying," Bro Mamma laughed.

"This structure could've come out a lot better," Cranky muttered. Funky clapped him on the back, nearly sending him toppling over.

"Good to see ya, pops," he laughed.

"Erm, well, good to see you, too," Cranky muttered.

Beatrice was hugging Ed tight, like if she let go, he would crumble to dust. "Ooh, you better win this, for all of us cheering you on back home!"

"I'll do my best, honey," Ed said, releasing himself from her grip. "Count on it."

And as the sun set, the visitors departed the island for the last time.

_Back at Camp Outcast…_

While Birdo were busy cooking dinner, the rest of Outcast found themselves with a bit of time on their hands.

Funky proposed a race. "If we race against each other, then one of us has to come in first!" he reasoned.

The others nodded, thinking it was a plausible idea.

"It's worth a try," Yoshi agreed.

They were going to race from the shelter to where Bro Mamma had drawn a line in the sand. Bro Mamma was also going to be the referee.

"On your mark… get set…" Funky said. "BANANAS!"

They all ran their hardest, but when push came to shove… none of them won.

Funky, Yoshi, and Ed all crossed the finish line at exactly the same time.

"I'm telling you, it was like you were running in sync!" Bro Mamma said, exasperated.

"So it's a tie for first!" Funky concluded.

"No," Ed murmured, "it's a tie for second."

"That's screwy," Yoshi said. "Whoever heard of a tie for second? Anybody?"

"I've read a few books about Magikoopas," Ed said, "and I learned that with magic, you have to be super careful. It _always_ takes you literally."

"So we get second place, every time, no matter what?" Bro Mamma asked.

"I suppose," Ed said. "But we've been winning, in a sense, the last few challenges."

"Sorry for playing Devil's Advocate here, but that was probably just dumb luck," Funky said.

"What happens when the Merge comes around, and we get split up?" Bro Mamma questioned. "Will some have the curse, and some not?"

"I guess only people in Outcast, you know, at the time of the curse, would be affected," Ed explained.

"Rrgh," Funky growled, frustrated. "Isn't there _any_ way out?"

"None that I can see," Ed said. "I guess that maybe we just have to grin and bear it."

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Passions in Fire and Outcast run high as the final elimination before the merge looms on the horizon…_

Daisy: Look, Outcast, thanks for helping with the fire and all, but you'll have to do a _lot_ more to earn _my_ trust.

Funky: Um, hello? We just saved your _entire tribe_. Can't you at least be, y'know, _nice_ to us?

Bowser Jr: I can't afford to take any chances, with the elimination coming up.

Waluigi: Sorry, but when push comes to shove, _I'm_ leaving with _my_ million bucks.

…_but they fail to realize that they're not the only ones in this game._

Bowser: The Fire and Outcast tribes aren't paying attention to us right now. The best time to strike them is while they're blind.

"The way I see it," DK said, "is that we steal _both_ their torches. That way we can auction off safety to the highest bidder."

_Outcast is saved by an anonymous tipper…_

"I think you should be aware tonight, for all of your sakes," he said.

"What do you mean?" Yoshi asked.

…_which puts a major thorn in the side of the Hero tribe_.

"Treason," Bowser growled.

"What I want to know," Peach snarled, "is how _anybody _would know about our plans, and how _anybody _would have the _nerve_ to give them away!"

Wario: Why would anybody give us away? …For a reward, maybe.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	9. Episode Seven: Minor Merge

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_Nobody misses Rosalina…_

DK: At least Rosalina isn't here anymore.

…_but some are still paranoid of her curse…_

"Let's see… There was a big fire, Outcast mysteriously got second place, Rosalina's suddenly gone, not to mention she's a freakin' _psycho_ and you say we don't have much to go on?" Wario was fuming. "If Rosalina really _is _gone, we shouldn't go 'Halleluiah' just yet, because she probably left some freaky voodoo behind just to mess with us!"

…_especially Outcast._

Funky, Yoshi, and Ed all crossed the finish line at exactly the same time.

"I'm telling you, it was like you were running in sync!" Bro Mamma said, exasperated.

"So we get second place, every time, no matter what?" Bro Mamma asked.

"I suppose," Ed said. "But we've been winning, in a sense, the last few challenges."

"Sorry for playing Devil's Advocate here, but that was probably just dumb luck," Funky said.

"Rrgh," Funky growled, frustrated. "Isn't there _any_ way out?"

"None that I can see," Ed said. "I guess that maybe we just have to grin and bear it."

_Tension runs high in the Fire tribe…_

"You have to spread these weeds across and through your camp," Jeff handed the large bag to the miserable Daisy. "Thistles, dandelions, poison ivy, you name it."

Bowser Jr: Basically, Daisy won us a disaster.

…_on all levels._

"You're not exactly a pro at hiding Idols. Leave it to me, Bowser Jr. For now, just lead the tribe."

Waluigi: I know how crime works. I also know how to backstab and betray. Believe me, Bowser Jr, you're going places. Unpleasant places.

Bowser Jr: Waluigi is a shifty guy. I don't believe him for a second. For now I'm just going to keep my Idol where he can't get it.

_And the worst is yet to come._

"Treason," Bowser growled.

"What I want to know," Peach snarled, "is how _anybody _would know about our plans, and how _anybody _would have the _nerve_ to give them away!"

Daisy: Look, Outcast, thanks for helping with the fire and all, but you'll have to do a _lot_ more to earn _my_ trust.

"We can take care of _ourselves_, thank you very _much_!" Daisy growled.

Yoshi froze in his tracks. He laughed a bit, shocked. "Oh, you did _not_ just play that card."

Daisy folded her arms. "I _just did_."

Yoshi scowled. "Well, _now_ it's a _whole different game_."

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Hero, Monday**

Peach walked outside and stretched. Yawning, she went over to see Bowser.

"Mornin'," she said.

"Good morning to _you_, as well," Bowser said. He was smiling, which made Peach uneasy.

"Okay, what's with the grin, BowBow?" Peach asked.

"I'll tell you when the whole tribe is here," Bowser said. "And for the _very last time_, stop calling me _BowBow!_"

"I reserve the right to give everyone here a cute nickname," Peach said, "along with WarWar and Monkeyface."

Bowser snorted. "_Monkeyface_," he mused. "It took you _all night_ to think of those, didn't it?" Bowser asked in a mocking tone.

"Oh, you have _no idea_," Peach said, not noticing the sarcasm.

"They're never going to catch on," Bowser said.

DK came over with two buckets of slimy water. "Where's the boiler again, BowBow?"

Peach threw a smirk at Bowser. Bowser stood up and took the buckets. "Never mind, I'll do it."

Bowser took both buckets, looked at them, and drenched both Peach and DK. They sputtered and shook themselves.

"W-What was that for?" Peach shivered.

"For calling me BowBow, Peachy Cream," Bowser said. "It took me two seconds to think of that," he added.

**Fire, Monday**

Daisy was out contemplating the structure of the shelter.

Daisy: I mean, our shelter is nice and all, but it was built in a day. Most shelters aren't built in a day. I mean, those that last forever, at least.

"What's up, Daisy?" asked Bowser Jr.

"Well…" Daisy began, "I'm not sure our shelter will last us the rest of the game."

Bowser Jr. looked at the shelter and said, "How so?"

Bowser Jr: Daisy is still paranoid about the Outcast tribe, even after they pretty much saved us and our tribe. I don't blame her, but her antics aren't really helping our situation, which if you hadn't noticed, is still crap.

Daisy walked over to the shelter and kicked one of its supports. Nothing happened.

"Daisy, give it up," Toadette moaned from inside the shelter. "There's _absolutely nothing wrong_ with the shelter!"

"Did she keep you up all night, too?" Waluigi grumbled next to Toadette.

"Oh, you have _no idea_," Toadette whined, rolling over onto her belly.

Waluigi: Daisy is insane. We know this. She knows it. So, the question is, why isn't she gone yet?

Daisy went over and kicked a support right next to Toadette. A pitcher's worth of mud fell right next to Toadette, splattering her. Daisy didn't seem to notice, but Bower Jr. burst out laughing.

"If I wasn't so tired, Koopa Midget, I'd kick your ass," Toadette mumbled.

Toadette: Daisy is driving me _insane_. I'm sure that the rest of the tribe feels the same way. The only reason I'm not voting for her is because she takes the focus off _me_. I mean, I think I've proved so far that I'm not a very likable person, and I think BJ and Waluigi have an alliance.

Daisy finally gave up her search, much to the others' relief.

Daisy: Nobody trusts me, and nobody likes me. We're on a consistent losing streak. I'm not going to ask if things could get worse, because they will, with our luck.

**Outcast, Monday**

Everyone was at their normal stations. Birdo was cooking. Bro Mamma and Ed were fixing a leak in the roof of a shelter. Yoshi was checking on everyone and filling in where he could. And Funky was performing the most beautiful song with his voice and guitar.

"_So if you love me, you'll come home to my treehouse, and we'll play games and laugh like idiots, as friends do. _Um, _Bananas, bananas bananas, bananas, you love your bananas…_" Funky trailed off.

"What's wrong, Funk?" Ed asked. "That was going somewhere."

"Well, I've been thinking," Funky said, "If we get second place each time, can't we always just, y'know, blow off the challenges?"

Ed and Bro Mamma stopped working.

Ed scratched his head. "Well, I dunno. We would have to participate in the challenges to get a place at all, I guess."

"Yeah," Bro Mamma said. "and there might be something of a time limit to the curse. Rosalina—dare I say her name—might not be able to keep up much longer, or might forget about the whole thing."

"But what about after the competition?" Funky asked. "If the curse lasts forever, won't it last after the game, too?"

They all pondered the possibility.

"I never thought of that," Bro Mamma said, and then got back to work.

**Hero, Monday**

"So, what's this 'great plan' you're talking about, BowB-Bowser?" DK caught himself.

Bowser glared at DK. "The Outcast tribe and the Fire tribe have both been heavily occupied with each other. We should launch a quick raid on both, stealing their Tribal Torches and then auction off both to the highest bidder."

"Sounds simple enough," Peach said.

"A little _too_ simple," Wario said. "Outcast is probably heavily fortified. Rosalina would've made sure they were. I think Fire launched an attack on them early on, and have been sent downhill ever since. I don't think I want to take that road, do you?"

"But you are missing two key parts of the equation," Bowser explained. "Rosalina is no longer at the Outcast tribe."

"She might be hiding," Wario argued.

"I don't think that Rosalina would have let the Fire tribe be rebuilt," DK said.

"Also, the Fire tribe, at that time, was being led by Luigi. You all know how overconfident he has become since he conquered his mansion," Bowser said.

"Fair enough," Wario said. "But what Rosalina built was probably made to last until the end of time."

"Which means we need to create a distraction," Bowser said. "DK can do that efficiently enough."

"How would I do that?" DK asked.

"Make it as realistic as you can. Sabotage everything. Set fire to any structures besides the shelter. Make it loud," Bowser added. "We need to catch them off guard. They won't be able to coordinate themselves before we steal the torch."

"And who's doing that?" Wario asked.

"Peach is quiet and fast. After she steals the torch, I'll signal. You will all fall behind me and then we will Blitzkrieg the Fire tribe in the same fashion," Bowser explained.

"And what about me?" Wario asked.

"Guard the torch," Bowser said. "We'd be stupid to leave it unguarded. If you spot anyone suspicious, run fast and far."

Wario: I wasn't particularly happy that Bowser didn't consider me for the 'Blitzkrieg' raid, or whatever, but I had plans anyway.

Peach: I'm a little uneasy about Bowser's choice to leave Wario at camp. He probably knows that we're in an alliance, and I didn't like the fact that he didn't argue about the role choice.

**Outcast, Monday**

Funky and Yoshi were checking out the Fire tribe's shelter, making sure everything was all right.

"So everything checks out?" Funky asked Bowser Jr. "No leaks, or anything?"

"Nah," Bowser Jr. said. "Worked like a charm. Thanks again, by the way."

"No problem," Funky said.

Daisy was doing another of her routine inspections when Yoshi walked by.

"What's wrong, Daisy?" he asked.

"Well…" Daisy searched for an answer.

"Well, what?" Yoshi asked.

"It's just not… good enough," Daisy concluded.

"You think you could build it better?" Yoshi earnestly asked.

"Yes," Daisy said.

"Well, I'll have the team back tomorrow. We can make some adjustments then," Yoshi said, and began to walk off.

Daisy: I'm pretty sure Yoshi knew what I had in mind. Look, Outcast, thanks for helping with the fire and all, but you'll have to do a _lot_ more to earn _my_ trust.

"We can take care of _ourselves_, thank you very _much_!" Daisy growled. "We can rebuild the shelter on our _own_."

Yoshi froze in his tracks. He laughed a bit, out of shock. "Oh, you did _not_ just play that card."

Daisy folded her arms. "I _just did_."

Yoshi scowled. "Well, _now_ it's a _whole different game_. Funky? We're leaving."

Funky looked over from his interview with Toadette. "Why?"

"Because, apparently, the Fire tribe became self-sufficient," Yoshi said, with his back turned.

Funky grinned at Toadette and the others. "Sorry, boss's orders." He followed Yoshi away.

The tribe stared at Daisy. Bowser Jr. rolled his eyes.

Bowser Jr: Once again, Daisy has us.

"Look guys, I know I look bad. But there's a reason I chased them off," Daisy said.

"Let's hear it," Waluigi smirked. "Because I was thinking about getting rid of them, too."

Toadette and Bowser Jr. looked at Waluigi in shock.

"Simple strategic principal," Waluigi explained. "The more they give us, the more they could take away."

Daisy nodded. "If we become too dependent on Outcast, they could start controlling us, y'know?"

Toadette and Bowser Jr. looked at each other.

"I guess," Bowser Jr. said.

Toadette: The fact that Daisy actually did something that might have _helped_ us blew my mind.

Waluigi: The problem with most of the members of my tribe is that they only think about the short-term. Outcast babying us for the long-term would screw us over, big-time. I could care less about them being mad at us.

"Also, I've been thinking…" Toadette said. "What about the Hero tribe? We only see them at challenges. What could they be doing right now?"

"…Goofing off?" Bowser Jr. suggested.

"Toadette brings up a valid question," Waluigi said. "Hero is probably going to strike us when we're busy with Outcast. Soon, I'd bet."

"So, basically," Bowser Jr. said, "While we were draining ourselves with Outcast, Hero has been building up for a major attack?"

"It's too soon to tell," Waluigi said. "If I were in Hero, I would've launched an attack much sooner. But I'm not in Hero. I have no idea what goes on inside their heads. Especially Bowser's. But, y'know, not in a bad way," Waluigi added, looking at Bowser Jr. "Bowser is a major threat. He's an organizer. He's a leader. I wouldn't want to go into a battle of wits against him."

Bowser Jr. nodded. "My dad would definitely organize something. By now, at least. Hero probably caught wind of our battle with the Outcasts. He would prepare for a hit-and-run by now to destroy our new shelter. And I don't think we could rebuild it in a day."

"Hold up," Daisy said. "Why would they go after our shelter? That's fighting dirty."

"Like I said, I have no idea what goes on inside their heads. I don't think any of you do, either," Waluigi admitted. "But I'm sure that they couldn't rip down our shelter before we notice. It's solid."

"So what would they go for?" Toadette questioned.

Waluigi laughed. "Isn't it obvious? Our tribal torch!"

**Outcast, Monday**

Yoshi stomped into camp. Funky followed behind him.

Funky: I could tell Yoshi was pissed by the fact that Daisy told him off. That girl doesn't know when to quit.

Yoshi: Fine, then. You don't want our help? Then you won't get our help. Ever.

By this time, it was late afternoon. The sun was still above the horizon, but the sky was turning orange to welcome the evening.

"What's wrong, Yoshi?" Birdo asked.

"Plan a raid on the Fire tribe," Yoshi growled. "Daisy said she didn't want our help. So we take back all of our gifts to them. Including the shelter."

Bro Mamma looked at Birdo. "Um… _Rosalina_?" she whispered.

"I'll talk to him," Birdo said.

Birdo: Yoshi doesn't act right when he's upset. Daisy upsets most people. So I just have to remind him that Outcast isn't a cruel tribe anymore.

"You have to remember that Outcast isn't a cruel tribe anymore," Birdo told Yoshi. "I know you're upset. But you should sleep on it. We won't plan an attack while you're high on anger."

Yoshi sighed. "Yeah… Is dinner ready yet?"

Birdo nodded. "I just need a few minutes to plate it. Ed found some saffron a few hours ago. I put in it, and it tastes great."

"What's for dinner, again?" Yoshi asked.

"Cataquack stew. Besides the saffron, we found a honeydew melon, and there's enough for everyone to have two slices," Birdo said.

Yoshi nodded. "Cool. I'll wrap up the work and get everyone back. And, thanks," Yoshi said.

"It's nothing," Birdo said.

Ed came running over. "Yoshi," he panted. "There's a visitor… on the other side of camp."

"Who? And what's the hurry?" Yoshi asked.

"You have… to see it to believe… it," Ed took a deep breath.

Yoshi ran over to the visitor. "To whom do I owe the honor?"

It was a short round man with purple overalls and a yellow shirt. He had a big pink nose and a zigzagged moustache.

"Sir Wario," Wario scoffed.

"From Hero, right?" Yoshi asked. "What is it?"

"I have a secret," Wario said. "Care to hear?"

"I don't have all day," Yoshi said.

Wario chuckled. "First I need your word that at the merge, you'll choose me if my team gets divided."

"Done," Yoshi said.

"Well, then…" Wario said. "May I sit down to dinner? I'll be able to provide a more ample explanation on a full stomach."

"I'll take the information _now_," Yoshi growled.

"Fine, then," Wario said. "Call me a traitor, but… Hero is planning to launch a raid on you. Tonight."

Yoshi looked at Ed, who looked back. "Outcast is known for its hospitality," Yoshi said. "Come and sit down. I want _all_ the details."

Wario laughed. "_That's_ more like it!"

**Hero, Monday-Tuesday**

The moon was high in the sky. Bowser looked at his raiding party.

"I'm feeling a bit… apprehensive," Bower admitted.

"What does that mean?" Peach asked. DK rolled his eyes.

Bowser: Wario just came back to camp, but won't tell us from where. I've never trusted Wario, which is why I never allowed him into the alliance.

DK: Wario is someone you _immediately _expect to be up to something. And tonight he was extra-up-to-something.

Wario: You all saw what happened back there. But I brought back a couple kills to cover my tracks. Otherwise, Bowser would be _all_ over me.

Peach: Seriously, what does 'apprehensive' mean?

Wario leaned against a tree with his eyes closed, holding the Tribal Torch upright. His arms were folded. "Come back alive," he said.

"As if we wouldn't," DK growled.

"You never know," Wario grinned.

DK: I think Wario's just trying to freak us out because he's upset he didn't get an action-packed role. But I reserve my right to be suspicious.

Bowser glanced back at Wario, then at the dark forest ahead. "The time is at hand," he said.

The trio was off.

**Outcast, Monday-Tuesday**

Yoshi: I'm not sure I should believe Wario or not. He's shifty. But however crafty he is, I'm not sure even I have the ability to imagine up a plan as complex as that just for this purpose. He didn't ask for much, either, so we don't have much to lose.

Ed: Wario practically ate us our of house and home, stew-wise. I hope, at least, that we can defend ourselves.

Ed went inside, giving his guard post to Yoshi. It was close to the time the Heroes were supposed to attack.

There was a rustle in the bushes. Yoshi primed his spear.

DK was hiding in a treetop.

DK: Outcast was _completely_ prepared for our visit. Whether they were on high alert every night like this, I didn't know. But it made my job _much _harder.

DK silently leapt to the ground. Then he loudly pounded on the dirt, equivalent to a level two earthquake.

Yoshi slowly walked toward the epicenter of the earthquake.

DK: I was pretty lucky he fell for it.

DK leapt to a different place to do the same thing. Yoshi ran all around the camp chasing after the earthquake.

Peach snuck by unnoticed. She slowly got nearer and nearer to the shelter.

Bowser: I was watching from afar. The whole affair seemed to be going well.

Peach: I was impressed by Outcast's shelter, truthfully. It only had one exit and entrance. My plan was to dart in and out as soon as I laid eyes on the Tribal Torch.  


Peach saw the torch and ran inside the shelter. Unfortunately for her, Birdo was on-scene.

Peach: I felt a point on my back, and I knew it was all over.

"Listen, Peach," Birdo growled. "When I count to three, you are going to turn around and run out of here as _fast_ as you can."

Peach nodded, petrified.

"One… Three!" Birdo grabbed Peach and threw her out of the shelter.

DK: As soon as I saw Peach get thrown out of the shelter, I knew it was all over.

"_Retreat!_" Bowser yelled.

Yoshi laughed as the pounding instantly stopped.

Yoshi: I swear, that was the most fun I ever had playing this game. My species has excellent night vision. I could have cornered DK in ten seconds.

Yoshi walked back to the shelter.

"No harm done?" Yoshi asked.

"Turns out Wario actually _was_ a traitor," Bro Mamma said.

"I wonder why he wanted to be in our tribe, though," Funky asked.

"He probably didn't know we were cursed," Ed said. "I'm not sure how it would work, though, having only one person who _might_ get first _or_ third."

The others shrugged.

"Do you think Fire's toast?" Birdo asked.

Everyone nodded.

**Fire, Monday-Tuesday**

Waluigi was standing guard. Bowser Jr. and Toadette were asleep. Daisy was wide awake, but said nothing.

Suddenly, an earthquake-like force shook the ground.

"What the _?" Waluigi exclaimed.

Bowser Jr. and Toadette woke up.

"What's happening?" Bowser Jr. asked drearily.

"We're under attack!" Daisy yelled. She and Bowser Jr. formed a wall around the Tribal Torch.

Toadette scanned the wilderness. She unexpectedly jumped into the thicket.

"Ack!" someone yelled. "Get off!"

The pounding stopped. Waluigi looked around and spotted Peach on the other side.

"Eep!" Peach yelled, and she darted back into the woods.

Toadette was thrown back toward camp. She landed on the ground and leapt back where she was ejected from. Waluigi went to help her, and saw her wrestling with DK. And winning, it seemed.

Toadette grabbed the tuft of hair on DK's head and pulled it back. DK adopted an odd posture.

"Owowowowow!" DK yelled. He grabbed Toadette, but by then it was too late. Waluigi had a spear aimed at his chest.

"Well," Waluigi chuckled. "It looks like my suspicions were correct."

DK glowered.

"Leave. Now. Before I perform some unlicensed surgery," Waluigi said. Toadette laughed.

DK got up and skedaddled.

Bowser: Both of our expeditions were a failure. That's .

DK: I can't believe they were both prepared for us. Maybe we were in isolation _too_ long.

Peach: This sucks. It was such a well-thought-out plan. And I _still_ don't know what 'apprehensive' means.

**Hero, Monday**

Wario opened his eyes and yawned when his teammates came back to camp.

"How'd the expedition go?" Wario asked sleepily.

"Both were a failure," Bowser said. "Where's the torch?"

"Oh, that thing? I burned it," Wario said.

Everyone stopped in their tracks.

"Repeat that," Bowser gaped.

"I burned the tribal torch," Wario yawned. "What's so surprising about that?"

"_What?_" Peach screamed.

"The ashes are over there in the pile, if you need more proof," Wario sighed. "May I go to sleep now?"

DK: Wario flat-out screwed us over. He didn't even think it was a big deal, either.

DK rested his head on a tree. "I don't believe this."

"Why didn't I see it sooner…" Bowser lamented.

Wario: Y'see, nobody thinks I'm a criminal mastermind. But I am. So they had to pay the price. And man, what a _stupid_ idea! I mean, leaving the tribe member you least trust alone with the tribal torch?

"You realize, Wario, that we can now screw _you_ over?" DK asked.

Wario shrugged. "I guess."

Peach was freaking out. "I can't believe you… that you… can you even… _Grr!_ Wario, you are _so_ getting voted out!"

Wario shrugged again. "I suppose I am."

Bowser: I am fully aware that Wario is smarter than he looks. I'm also sure that he has something else up his sleeve. This stunt wouldn't just be suicidal.

"Can I go to sleep now? Or do you have other threats?" Wario asked.

DK and the others gave up and went to bed.

Peach: Wario is crafty. There's something to this plot that we don't see. We just have to find out what it is before it's too late.

**Fire, Tuesday**

Waluigi woke up and immediately went to check on the tribal torch. It was still safe.

Waluigi: I'm glad we figured out that Hero was up to something before it was too late. That was a harrowing night indeed.

Daisy walked over. "Thanks for predicting that attack," she said. "We would be screwed if you hadn't."

"Thanks, I guess," Waluigi said.

"Did you see the tree mail?" Daisy asked.

Waluigi realized that he was the last one up. "No, not yet."

Daisy gave a scroll to Waluigi. On it was:

_It's the last present challenge_

_Before the Merge_

_Bring all your coins_

_So that you can splurge._

"Do we even have any coins?" Waluigi asked.

"No," Daisy said. "But they would know that. Bowser Jr. thinks that the coins are probably extra."

"So who are we sending?" Waluigi asked.

"We were thinking that you should try," Daisy said.

Waluigi nodded. "Don't expect any miracles."

Daisy laughed. "Oh, Waluigi. You'll do fine."

"Now you jinxed me," Waluigi groaned. Daisy laughed again.

**Present Challenge**

Waluigi, Peach, and Bro Mamma met up at challenge grounds. They gaped at a small mountain of something that was draped by a wax paper sheet. On the table in front of them were three small identical presents.

Jeff was standing off to the side. "It's been a while," he laughed.

Waluigi laughed. "You bet. But I don't miss the Saturday and Sunday challenges."

"More relaxation time?" Jeff asked.

"Exactly the opposite. You should've seen the show yesterday," Waluigi said.

"Well, we can talk about that later," Jeff said. "Today's present challenge is a little different.

"In the challenge, you will pick a present _first_. The number inside tells you how many coins that you can carry up the hill to the top. It is a quarter-mile up to the top of the hill. Once you're there, you will deposit those coins down a vent. You must wait until the clattering stops before coming back down again for another load. You can get as many as 100 coins. Once someone reaches that number, the challenge ends, and we proceed to part two of this challenge," Jeff explained. "But there are a few catches involved.

"Number one." Jeff held out a shiny coconut. "These are your buckets."

The challengers gaped at him.

Bro Mamma: Are you _serious_? Those could barely hold a cup of water!

"Number two." Jeff threw the coconut-bucket on the ground, and it shattered into thousands of pieces. "These buckets are made of porcelain. If you damage it in any way, you're out of the game. You do get to keep any coins that you earned, however.

"Number three." Jeff signaled and the tarp flew off of the mountain. It was a mountain of Ancient Coins. "You will be collecting these. Peach, you brought your fifty Ancient Coins that you had won in an earlier challenge. Do you want to immediately transfer those to your pot for a fifty coin head start?"

Peach nodded.

Jeff snapped, and the bag disappeared from Peach's hands with a _pop_.

Peach looked at her hands, then at Jeff, who shrugged.

"I'm a Magikoopa in training," Jeff said. "Also, this is only part one of the challenge. After you get all of the coins, we'll start part two.

"Now, each of you must pick a present," Jeff said.

Bro Mamma picked the one on the right. Waluigi picked the one in the center. Peach picked the one on the left.

Waluigi: There was no point in arguing about who got what present. There was no clue as to which one we should pick.

They all unwrapped their presents. Inside them was a card. Bro Mamma's read _5_. Peach's read _15_. Waluigi's read _50_.

"The number on your card is how many Ancient Coins that you can carry during one trip," Jeff said. This was met with cheers and groans.

Waluigi: I instantly knew that there was _no way_ I was going to fit fifty Ancient Coins into that 'bucket.' So I interpreted that as _unlimited_.

Bro Mamma: I'm the fastest runner here, but still, that's _twenty_ trips to the top of the hill and back. That's _five miles_. I've run that far before, but it took about half an hour or so. Waluigi will probably only run a mile, and so will Peach. That's tough competition.

Everyone got into their positions.

Jeff counted off. "Three… two… one… _GO!_"

Bro Mamma took an early lead. Peach soon fell behind.

Bro Mamma made it to the top in less than a minute, and didn't even appear to be winded.

"Bro Mamma made it to the top first, depositing five coins!" Jeff yelled.

Bro Mamma soon made it to the bottom.

Waluigi: Here's how Bro Mamma did this challenge: _Zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom-zoom_.

Bro Mamma passed Peach on the way down. "Hi, Peach."

Peach struggled up the hill.

Peach: That hill was steep. You have no idea how hard it was to climb it. And at the same time, Bro Mamma was going—

"Hi, Peach."

"Hi, Peach."

"Hi, Peach."

Peach: You have no idea how annoying that was.

Waluigi made his first deposit.

Waluigi: Basically, I shoved as many Ancient Coins as I could into that little cup without the danger of it overflowing.

"Bro Mamma has ten coins deposited," Jeff said. "Waluigi has twenty-eight, and Peach has sixty-five. Everybody has made their first trip, and Bro Mamma has made her second."

"Hi, Peach."

Waluigi stumbled down the mountain.

Bro Mamma: It was strange. Peach had trouble getting up the hill, Waluigi had trouble getting down the hill, and even though I had no trouble at all, I couldn't carry very much. I could say it was a pretty even match.

Peach gritted her teeth as she skillfully slid down the hill.

Waluigi, on the other hand, was sliding everywhere.

"_," Waluigi said as he almost dropped the porcelain.

"Hi, Peach."

"Peach is already getting her second load. Bro Mamma has made two more trips to catch up, and Waluigi has yet to make it back to the bottom," Jeff yelled.

Waluigi: I admit, I was pretty funny to watch. But my comedic potential didn't help me get to the bottom.

Waluigi finally made it back to flat ground.

"Waluigi finally makes it to the bottom!" Jeff yells.

"It's about _ time," Waluigi grumbled. He scooped as many of the coins into his cup as he could.

"Hi, Peach."

"Hi, Peach."

"_Will you stop that?_" Peach yelled.

"Bro Mamma has twenty coins deposited," Jeff yelled. "Peach has sixty-five still and Waluigi still has twenty-eight."

Peach tripped over a root in the dirt.

_Crack_.

"Peach is out of the challenge!" Jeff yelled.

"_!" Peach yelled.

Bro Mamma: I'm not sure _what_ Peach said, but it sounded like an ancient curse or something. I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares about it later.

Peach: I read that swear in a book somewhere, kay?

"Bye, Peach."

Waluigi: I could tell that the challenge was more in reach, not just for me but for Bro Mamma, too. I had to step up my game. The problem was, I was already dead.

"Hi, Waluigi."

"Hi, Waluigi."

Waluigi: It didn't help that Bro Mamma kept passing me over and over and over and over again.

"Peach has finished the challenge a sixty-five coins," Jeff yelled. "Bro Mamma now has thirty coins deposited and Waluigi has fifty-one coins in the bank."

"Hi, Waluigi."

Waluigi kept going at a steady rate. Bro Mamma seemed to speed up.

Bro Mamma: I wanted to get more coins than Peach. I don't know why, I just did.

"You are now seven minutes into the challenge!" Jeff yelled.

"Feels like… longer…" Waluigi gasped.

"Hi, Waluigi."

"I presume you have… no idea how… annoying that is?" Waluigi asked Bro Mamma.

"Not in the slightest!" Bro Mamma called from farther up the hill.

Waluigi dumped the latest run's contents down the vent. He collapsed, waiting for the clattering to stop.

"Hi, Waluigi."

"Hi, Bro Mamma," Waluigi muttered. "How about that weather?"

"Bro Mamma now has sixty coins in the bank!" Jeff yelled. "Waluigi now has eighty-five!"

Waluigi: As soon as I heard Jeff say that I only had fifteen coins left to go, I started running, burning through the pain.

Bro Mamma: As soon as I heard Jeff say that Waluigi only had fifteen coins left to go, I knew it was over. The guy started running. So I got a few more runs in before the race was over.

Waluigi wheezed as he dumped the contents of the last load down the vent.

"Waluigi finishes the challenge with the max total, 100 Ancient Coins! Bro Mamma came in second with eighty coins, and Peach now has sixty-five coins," Jeff said.

Peach: To only do one run before being taken out of the challenge is… embarrassing.

"Now, all of you must head back to camp and choose another person who loves to spend money," Jeff explained. "Then part two of the challenge begins."

**Hero, Tuesday**

After Peach explained what had happened during the challenge, the members pondered who to pick.

"It can't be the same person, obviously," Peach said.

"Then who?" Bowser asked.

Wario was excluded from the discussion and denied any chance of participating in the challenge.

"I'll go," DK said. "Might as well. I won't hurt anything."

**Present Challenge, Part Two**

DK, Bowser Jr, and Yoshi were boarded onto a small yacht. On the front deck was Ben.

"You sure have a thing for yachts, don't you?" Yoshi asked Ben.

"Like you wouldn't believe," Ben laughed. "Come below deck. We need to start the challenge."

The challengers followed Ben down the stairs and into a wide room. In the room were all sorts of different products, all labeled with a different number.

"As you can see, there's a bunch of different goods all labeled with a different value," Ben said. "You are going to choose which ones you want to buy with the Ancient Coins that you earned in part one of the challenge. You can buy whatever's in this room. But if your grand total goes over how many coins you have, you don't get any of it. You have fifteen minutes to get whatever you can. But there's a catch," Ben said. "Whatever you want to buy, you have to carry."

The contestants looked at each other. They were all decently strong.

"That is, if you drop something, you can't buy it, but it still counts toward your total. So be careful," Ben said. "Also, like any present challenge, there're presents involved." Ben motioned to the gift boxes randomly placed around the room. "Those presents you can open immediately. They have great bonuses—or setbacks—that can apply both in and out of this challenge. You got all that?"

The challengers nodded.

"Well, then, ready set go." Ben started the timer.

Bowser Jr: There was so much to choose from. There was rice, fishing poles, animal traps, bait, candy, fast food (hot, by the way), skillets, swords—it was ridiculous.

DK: My strategy was to get a few presents first. That way I could get the bonuses and still have time to get other stuff.

DK opened a present. Inside were ten Ancient Coins.

"DK, your limit was extended ten Ancient Coins!" Ben yelled.

DK jumped up into the air. "Woohoo!"

DK ran over and opened another present. Inside was a check for 10,000 non-Ancient coins.

"You know what that is!" Ben yelled.

DK jumped up into the air. "Woohoo!"

Yoshi: My focus was on getting a lot of small, expensive things that could aid us later.

Yoshi picked up a lighter for five Ancient Coins, a Starman for twenty Ancient Coins, and a Hidden Immunity Idol for fifty Ancient Coins, and a watermelon for five Ancient Coins.

Yoshi: And I knew, as soon as I saw that Idol, that I would get it. Hands-down the single best item in the game.

Bowser Jr. picked up a sword for ten Ancient Coins, two fishing rods for thirty Ancient Coins, a two-pound pack of bubble gum for five Ancient Coins, flint and steel for five Ancient Coins, a couple boxes of tissues for fifteen Ancient Coins, a few boxes of raisins for ten Ancient Coins, and a ten-pound bag of rice for twenty-five Ancient Coins.

DK looked at Bowser Jr. and laughed.

Bowser Jr: I probably looked insane, trying to carry all that at once. But I was smart. I topped out my limit exactly.

DK put on his back three ten-pound bags of rice.

"Five minutes left!" Ben yelled.

DK: I wasn't into fancy stuff like the fishing rod or the Starman. I was just tired of killing things. So that's why I got the rice. I wanted a few days as a break.

Yoshi: I was tempted to take a present and open it just to see what it was, but DK had already got two of the good ones and I didn't want to receive the 'setbacks' Ben told us about.

"So, Bowser Jr. got bubble gum, fishing rods, flint and steel, raisins, rice, a sword, and some tissues. DK got three bags of rice, and Yoshi got a lighter, a Starman, and a watermelon," Ben concluded.

Yoshi: I noticed how Ben didn't say that I had an Idol. That was considerate of him, with the merge coming up and all.

DK: There's no way Yoshi would come that far under par like that. Something was up, and I didn't like it.

Bowser Jr: Ben didn't tell us everything about what Yoshi got. Either that, or the Starman market was really affected by the economy.

"Go home and rest," Ben said. "You have an Advantage Challenge _and_ a Merge Challenge coming up tomorrow. I wouldn't miss it."

**Fire, Tuesday**

Bowser Jr. showed all of his tribe members what he had bought at the challenge. They were impressed.

Toadette: Bowser Jr. really brought home the bacon this time.

Bowser Jr. handed out bubble gum. "I've never been a fan, but… it was on sale," he grinned.

Waluigi laughed. "Ya did good, kid."

Daisy: For the first time, it didn't feel like we lost a challenge. And it feels good.

"This much rice will probably last us about two days," Toadette said through a mouthful of gum. "But we should eat the meat that Hero got us first."

"Agreed," Waluigi said.

"So, what now?" Daisy asked.

"Hey, guys…" Bowser Jr. began, "Ben didn't tell us all of what Yoshi got. I have the feeling it was something important or secret to the game."

They pondered this.

"We'll keep an eye out," Waluigi said.

**Hero, Tuesday**

"This is _all_ you brought back?" Peach asked.

"Yep," DK said.

"Tired of killing things?" Wario asked.

"Yep," DK said.

DK: I have nothing against the challenges or the strategy or the mechanics of Royal Survivor. I'm just starting to get sick of killing stuff and then removing its skin and organs.

Wario: DK has always been a softy at heart. Softies are eliminated.

**Outcast, Tuesday**

Yoshi handed off the gifts. While Birdo was cutting the watermelon, he pulled Ed aside.

"Look," Yoshi said. He showed Ed the Idol.

Ed jumped for joy. "Two now, right?"

"We could start a whole bank," Yoshi joked. "You hold on to the other, and I'll keep this one. That way, if one of us is found out, we'll have a backup."

"Right," Ed nodded. Then they both went over to have some watermelon.

**Advantage Challenge**

All three tribes walked to the challenge grounds. There were three large see-saws about fifteen feet long in a large clearing. Jeff and Ben met the contestants north of the see-saws.

"Does it scare any of you that today is the last day you'll be three tribes?" Jeff asked. "Or that your tribe might be split up and divided among the others? Because that's _exactly_ what's happening today, right after this challenge.

"In this challenge, two representatives from each tribe will balance on different see-saws against other tribe members. The other two will try to tip the tribe members off of another see-saw without any of their tribe members on it. If both your tribe members fall off, you lose, and all of your tribe must leave the challenge," Jeff explained. "Touching the beam with your hands counts as falling off."

"You're competing for _double_ what you got in the previous challenge," Jeff said. "The last tribe standing gets this reward."

"Don't worry about elimination, though," Ben said. "Wario burned his own torch. Hero will go to Tribal no matter what."

"You know, what I find amusing is that there have been more people burning their_ own_ torch instead of other people burning _theirs_," Jeff laughed.

Toadette: Wario burned his own tribe's torch? That seems like a pretty stupid move to me.

Ed: Tonight: is Wario insane? Experts say, yes!

Wario: I always have the last laugh. Just you wait.

"Outcast, who are you sitting out?" Jeff asked.

After a short huddle, Yoshi said, "Ed."

Everyone got in position. Waluigi and Bowser Jr. were representing the Fire tribe, going against Bowser and Yoshi, respectively. DK was going against Funky. Toadette, Daisy, Peach, Wario, Birdo, and Bro Mamma were on the ground.

"Ready… _GO!_" Jeff yelled.

Peach and Wario were at Yoshi and Bowser Jr's see-saw. Bowser Jr. and Yoshi were balancing at the ends, the most unstable part of the see-saw, but it was still difficult to shake them off their balance.

Bowser Jr: I saw Yoshi getting a little relaxed, but I realized that he was leaving himself open for attack.

On the up-motion of the see-saw, Bowser Jr. jumped and pounded the see-saw so that a shockwave went along the board. Yoshi stumbled, but didn't fall.

Daisy and Toadette were trying to capsize DK and Funky.

Daisy: It was hard to move the see-saw up and down, especially with having Toadette as a partner.

Toadette: I can't help it that I'm short!

Suddenly, Daisy stopped pushing up on the see-saw. The end crashed into the ground, and both Funky and DK fell off from the sudden shock.

Daisy and Toadette looked at each other.

"Yay!" Toadette squealed.

"Outcast and Hero both lose one member! Fire is the only one who has both of their members still standing!" Jeff yelled.

Waluigi: As soon as I heard that Daisy and Toadette had succeeded, I felt extra pressure.

Bowser Jr: We would, literally, _never_ hear the end of it if we failed where the girls had succeeded.

Birdo and Bro Mamma tried a different strategy to knock Waluigi and Bowser off of the see-saw. They both held the ends of the see-saw down, which built up tension in the middle, and one of them randomly let go, flinging one of the balancers five feet up in the air. It didn't work very well with Waluigi, but it was seriously hampering Bowser, who wasn't accustomed to being a UFO.

Bowser: It was complicated to stay on the see-saw while the girls were trying to fling you fifty feet into the air. But I have to give them credit, it was a clever strategy.

Bowser finally gave in and, rather dramatically, fell off of the see-saw.

"Hero has lost the challenge! It is now between Outcast and Fire!" Ben yelled.

Yoshi: At that point, I knew it was over. One way or another, we would come in second. Still, we couldn't let the others tribes see us throw the challenge.

Ed: It sucks. It really does. Because if we had won this challenge, we would have not one, not two, but _three_ Idols! Can you even imagine? You barely even get two in this game!

Bowser: It's disheartening to know that even if Wario hadn't burned the torch, we would've lost.

Since there was nobody left to push Bowser Jr. and Yoshi, all of the Fire tribe got on Yoshi's side, and all of the Outcast tribe except Ed got on Bowser Jr's side.

Bowser Jr. gave Yoshi a hard look.

Bowser Jr: There was something in Yoshi's expression that I couldn't read. I don't ever think I've seen anyone wear it. It was sort of a mixture between disappointment and confidence.

Outcast tried hard to throw Bowser Jr. up into the air, but Bowser Jr. didn't even lift off of the board. Fire attempted to catch the see-saw's end, but it clattered into the ground, and Yoshi slipped off.

Bro Mamma: It's hard to keep going when we knew we would lose. So we lost with dignity. Yoshi fell off. So what?

Waluigi: That seemed a bit _too_ quick. Was Yoshi even trying? We may never know.

"Fire wins the Advantage challenge!" Jeff yelled.

"May I ask what you plan to do with all that bubble gum?" Ben grinned.

Bowser Jr. shrugged and smile. "Chew it."

Ben laughed. "Well, see you at the Minor Merge. Which, according to my watch, is right after Tribal. See you there, Heroes."

**Hero, Tribal Council**

It wasn't dark yet, but it was close. The sky was a bright orange. The rainforest was buzzing with insects and other creatures.

"A perfect time for Tribal, eh?" Ben said as he leaded the Hero tribe away from the challenge grounds. "Not that there is one."

"You're telling me," DK said.

Ben went up to the large desk with the jar, as always. "Wouldn't it stink to be voted off right now, right before the Merge?" he asked.

The Hero tribe nodded grimly.

"Well, there's a bonus. From now on, when someone gets eliminated, they go on the Jury, which I'll tell you more about in a bit. Basically, you get to get a peek at what's going on in-game as well as stay at a camp. It's not so bad, once you get used to it," Ben said. "But on to my Q&A."

"So, there's been a lot of excitement at the Hero camp," Ben said. "Care to explain?"

"Wario turned into Survivor's Benedict Arnold two nights ago," Bowser growled. "Even now, I have no idea why he sentenced us here."

"Do you have anything to say about your treasonous act, Wario?" Ben asked.

"No," Wario said calmly.

"That's a clear-cut answer," Ben said. "But I need more."

"Maybe I just want to go home," Wario said. "It's not easy, being the pampered soul I am, to survive over three weeks in the wilderness."

"Right," Ben said. "So, do any of you think Wario has something up his sleeve?"

"Duh," Peach said. "Wario isn't suicidal when one million coins are on the line. He'd even fight dirty to get to the top."

"That might not end up being so wise after all," Ben said. "The Jury votes for who wins Survivor. Make the jury mad, and it comes back to haunt you. That's been illustrated in several different Royal Survivor-like game shows. Out of everybody in the game, who do you think should make it to the final beside yourself?"

"I think that we're all back-stabbers and double-crossers when it comes to this game. None of us have really given a reason for wanting to win," Peach said.

"Well, I want to win because my great-uncle is getting more expensive by the day to take care of," DK said. "That ten-grand I won at the Present Challenge really helps, but the only way to make sure he dies of old age is to win this thing. For him."

"Aye," Ben said. "Must be rough, man. But we're all voted out of life eventually. And that voting starts now."

Wario was first. He silently wrote the name of who he wanted to go, and put it in the jar at the rim of Ben's desk.

Wario: Geez… I was going to vote for DK because he's good at challenges, but everyone would hate me if I did. My dad passed away from an injury shortly before I started the game. I changed my vote.

Peach wrote down Wario's name.

Peach: I know Wario has something up his sleeve, but if I don't vote for him, I vote for either DK or Bowser. Bowser's like a father to me, and DK is like a brother. So I'll just have to roll with the punches.

Bowser wrote down Wario's name.

Bowser: I won't be sad to see you go.

DK wrote down Wario's name.

DK: Bye. You had your chance. You failed. Tough luck.

Ben inspected the jar to make sure there were four votes. Satisfied, he said, "Now, before I tally the votes, would anyone like to play a Hidden Immunity Idol?"

Everyone except Wario stood rigid in their seats.

Wario raised his hand. In it was a coveted Idol. "I believe I have one handy."

"_," said Peach.

Wario slowly walked up and displayed the Idol to Ben.

"This is an actual Idol," Ben said. "Any votes against Wario do not count." Ben began to count off the votes. "First vote: Wario. Does not count. Second vote: Wario. Does not count. Third vote: Wario. Does not count.

"So the person voted off of Survivor and the first member of our jury is… Bowser," Ben finished. "Your tribe has spoken. You will be deported to camp where you will be allowed to, every elimination, take a peek at what's going on in the show." Ben snuffed Bowser's torch and shook his paw. "Nice knowing you, pal."

"And you," Bowser said.

Bowser: I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing Wario's trickery sooner. I'm also disappointed in myself for not making it farther in the game. But making it into the jury is an accomplishment in itself. I'm glad that I will be able to see my comrades as they, too, join me in camp.

**Minor Merge**

Hero, Fire, and Outcast met on the beaches. Jeff and Ben were waiting for them.

"Today is the merge," Jeff said. "By now, you are all very well worn by the other challenges. But I assure you, this will be the hardest thing you have ever done.

"You will each have to, as a team, travel to all of the other tribes' camps, unaided. Somewhere in their team's camp are hidden spheres. There are two in each camp. You must find as many as you can before reporting back here. Once a single member is in our eyesight, their tribe's game is over. Any sphere in their possession are out of play," Jeff explained.

"Royal Survivor is a game of survival, obviously," Ben said. "So, surviving the voting phase will be rewarded. For every time you have been voted for in the past, you will be able to have a ten-pound iron ball harnessed to another player's wrist, with a chain long enough that it drags across the ground. Peach, Wario, Toadette, and Daisy, c'mere."

"Daisy, you have been voted for once and survived. Who would you like to impede?" Jeff asked.

Daisy rubbed her chin. "Bowser isn't here, so… Donkey Kong."

A ten-pound iron ball, complete with chain, was harnessed to DK's right wrist.

"Peach, you have been voted for twice and survived. Who would you like to hamper?" Jeff asked.

"One on Yoshi, and one on Bro Mamma," Peach commanded.

Bro Mamma and Yoshi were both hampered.

"Toadette, you have been voted for three times, and survived. Who would you like to mess up?" Ben asked.

"I'm going to follow Daisy's lead and put another on DK," Toadette said. "Then one on Funky and one on Wario."

They were harnessed, DK for the second time.

"Wario, you have been voted for a grand total of _five_ times before, and survived. Who do you want to obstruct?" Jeff asked.

"Well, as a counter-attack, I'll put _two_ on Toadette, then one on Daisy, Bowser Jr, and Waluigi," Wario laughed.

Toadette fumed and glared at Wario.

Toadette: It wasn't fair that Wario had me harnessed with _two_, especially because I was the weakest member, hands-down. But I guess I have to just go with it.

Ed: Wow. Wario must _really_ not like the Fire tribe, to have them all harnessed like that.

Jeff looked around. "Well, it's clear who everyone thinks of as a threat… But Fire tribe has the most harnesses. I wonder how that works into your opinions of yourselves and each other."

Daisy: We were _all_ harnessed by _one_ person. That sucks. Wario must really be a thorn in Hero's side for him to survive all this time.

Yoshi: It's obvious to me that Wario had an Idol that the others didn't know about, and that's why _he's_ here and not _Bowser_. 

Bowser Jr: If Wario can outwit my dad, either he isn't as smart as he looks, or Wario is _tons_ smarter than _he_ looks. I've lived with my dad long enough to know it's the latter. I guess looks really are deceiving.

Everyone got in position.

"Ready… set… _GO!_" As soon as Jeff said the final word, the contestants were off like a bullet.

DK's chains clattered around on the ground, threatening to knock DK's ankles off.

DK: Those chains are more annoying than they look.

"_," DK said as a ball cuffed his ankle.

DK: And they looked pretty annoying already.

Wario: Y'know what sucks? DK lagging behind.

Fire wasn't faring much better.

Daisy: Wario pretty much screwed us over. Which isn't good for us… but I can't really blame him. If I had five disadvantages to give out, I would probably give them all to the Outcasts.

Outcast was the first to make it to Fire's camp. They started searching right away.

Funky: We knew that camp like the back of our hand. We built the thing!

Ed: But it seemed that, no matter how hard we tried, we couldn't find an orb.

Soon the Hero tribe had arrived. DK, despite having a disadvantage, managed to find an orb where no one had thought to look: in the boiling water.

Peach: So what DK did, basically, was dump_ all_ of the water in the pot onto the ground. And the orb was right there.

"_ me," Yoshi said.

Yoshi: I feel like an idiot for not looking there. Yep, that's me. Yoshi the idiot.

"Funky and I will stay here," Yoshi said. "The rest of you, go and search at our camp!"

Everyone from Outcast except Yoshi and Funky ran off.

Fire arrived a little later, all panting.

Bowser Jr: Having a ball and chain _really_ slows you down. I'll have to remember that before I get married.

Waluigi: That was exhausting. And we haven't even found any orbs yet.

Toadette and Waluigi began searching. While Daisy headed to the Outcast camp and Toadette headed to the hero camp. DK stayed at the Fire camp while all of the other Heroes went to their camp, except for Wario, who went to the Outcast's.

At the Outcast camp, the Outcasts were busy searching.

Bro Mamma: The point of the game was to search in places you'd never think to look. The problem is that you never think to look where you never think to look and so on.

Fortunately for Outcast, Birdo found an orb in her pillow.

Birdo: I was like, 'Yess! We're still in this!'

Meanwhile, at the Heroes' camp, DK found an orb hidden in a hollowed-out section of a tree.

DK laughed when he found it. "Typical hiding place," he scoffed.

Peach saw a spot on the ground where it looked like a hole had been dug up and then filled again. Inside was an orb.

DK high-fived Peach. "Now, no matter what they do, we're safe," DK said.

DK: Pow! Boom! Just like that, we were safe.

Meanwhile, at the Outcast's camp, Wario was poking around the clay pits.

Wario: As soon as I saw them, I knew something was there.

Wario spotted a glitter down in the pits. He leaped down and freed the orb from its dirty prison.

Wario: Turns out, there was.

Wario glowed as he leapt out of the pits. He met up with DK at the beach.

"Hero has finished the challenge with two spheres!" Jeff yelled.

"I thought they were _orbs_," Peach whispered to DK.

Meanwhile, the Fire tribe had yet to find the last orb in their camp.

Waluigi searched high and low in the shelter. Bowser Jr. was searching the perimeter of the camp. Funky and Yoshi were still looking in hard-to-reach places.

In the end, though, it was Bowser Jr. who found the last sphere. It was in the opened bag of bubble gum.

"_Yess!_" Bowser Jr. yelled. "I found an orb!"

Since that was the last orb, the three tribes met at the beaches.

Jeff explained the results. "Hero is definitely safe with four out of six orbs found," he began. "Fire and Outcast are tied for second. So… we will have to play a tiebreaker.

"It is a one-question quiz. The first tribe out of the two of you to answer correctly is safe. However, if either one of you answer incorrectly, your tribe is split," Jeff explained. "The question is: What is the name of the first Advantage Challenge that was played?"

Both the Outcasts and Fire tribe were struck by this question. They both formed separate huddles.

Daisy: That was a tough question.

"This is a tough question," admitted Daisy. "But I think I know the answer. Wasn't it the Reverse Piñata?"

Nobody seemed to argue.

The Outcasts were all stumped for answers.

"How about we wait it out, to see if the Fire tribe gets it wrong?" Ed suggested. "If they get it wrong, they're out anyway, and we don't have any better ideas."

Yoshi: It's true. We didn't.

Daisy turned to face Jeff and Ben. "Wasn't it… the Reverse Piñata?" she said nervously.

"That is correct," Jeff said. "The Fire tribe is safe."

The Fire tribe cheered. They all pranced about, celebrating their success.

Waluigi: Even though we won by a hair, the Fire tribe lives to see another day. And _that's_ what I was worried about the most.

Bowser Jr: Outcast finally gets payback for destroying the Fire tribe early in the game. From now on, Hero will be our only worry.

Daisy: Failure isn't an option for the Fire tribe now. We have to rise up from the ashes and become more powerful than the Heroes.

Toadette: Now we'll never have to answer to Rosalina's legacy again. It feels great, especially with what we've gone through.

Wario scowled.

Wario: There goes my plan to hitch a ride with the Outcasts. I know Peach and DK have it out for me, so I'll have to make an alliance the first chance I get.

The Outcasts were disheartened.

Yoshi: We've basically been coasting until this point. It will take a lot more work now to get by. I'll be expecting my very first tribal soon.

Ed: Yoshi and I will probably get sent to separate teams. If that happens, I guess I'll just have to survive with the Idol until the Major Merge.

Funky: Losing sucks. What sucks even _more_ is the fact that it all fell within the rules of the curse. We tied for second, then we came in second and lost. That's what really ticks me off.

Birdo: I don't offer much when it comes to challenges. I hope I'm not one of the first to go.  


Bro Mamma: I'm decent in all different types of challenges. I think I'll survive fine, but a tribe usually values its original members more than additions.

The Outcasts were all chained and brought up onto a stage in a line.

"The Outcast officially no longer exists," Ben said. "Hero, since you won the challenge, you'll pick first."

The Heroes huddled together quickly. "Bro Mamma is our first choice."

Bro Mamma was let loose of her chains. She leaped over to the Heroes side.

Bro Mamma: It was nice to be picked first. The Heroes might be under a bit of strain because of Wario, so I'll have another week, at least.

Funky: I was disappointed my cuz didn't pick _me_ first, but in retrospect, it was a good decision to pick Bro Mamma first.

"Fire, it is your turn to choose," Jeff said. "Make sure your choice is wise."

Fire grouped together in a quick huddle. "Yoshi," Daisy said.

Yoshi was detached from his chains. He walked over to the Fire camp.

Daisy: I could tell Yoshi wasn't happy about coming to our side, but I just needed to explain my actions. I agree with him; we weren't nice at all.

"Hero, you pick," Ben said.

After a short huddle, DK said, "Funky Kong."

Funky was released from his chains. He ran over to the Heroes.

Funky: At least I got to come over to the Heroes. Things are still shaky between me and Daisy.

"Fire, you have the final decision," Jeff said.

Bowser Jr: It was a tough choice. Ed was small and weak but coordinated, Birdo had some strength but can't balance on a sailboat. In the end, though, we choose coordination over strength.

"We choose Ed," Bowser Jr. said.

Ed and Birdo were both released from their bindings. Ed went to the Fire tribe. Birdo went to the Hero tribe.

Ed: I don't believe that Yoshi and I ended up on the same team. I guess it was a stroke of luck. It definitely lengthens our survival time.

Birdo: It didn't feel good to be the last one on the stage. It's like being picked last for gym class. Which has happened to me several times.

"Look good and hard at your new competition," Jeff said. "There are two completely new tribes here. As such, we will rename them. The Hero tribe is now the Champion tribe. The Fire tribe is now the Inferno tribe. The Outcast tribe, had it survived, would have been the Exile tribe. But it didn't, so it isn't."

"On the Inferno tribe is Daisy, Waluigi, Bowser Jr, Toadette, Yoshi, and Ed. On the Champion tribe is Peach, Wario, Donkey Kong, Bro mamma, Funky Kong, and Birdo," Ben said. "Champion, since you won the challenge, you will be able to choose which camp you want to stay in."

"Outcast's," they all said almost instantly.

"The Outcast's camp is now the Champion's camp. I'm assuming that Inferno wants to keep its camp," Jeff said. "Everyone, you should get some sleep. This has been a most interesting day indeed."

The Royal Survivors headed off back to their camps.

DK: I was definitely unsure of what was to come. I mean, we are an entirely different _tribe_ now. What's next? Who knows?

Peach: I can't believe I've survived this long. This game is full of surprises, but this is the first good one, I think. 

Wario: Survival in this game isn't luck, it's skill, well, most of the time. But my luck just ran out. So I'm going on skill from now on.

Waluigi: Nobody should get too overconfident in this game. I mean, getting this far is fantastic, but nobody should be 'tasting victory' at this point.

Bowser Jr: Losing isn't an option anymore. My dad was just voted out, so I need to kick it into high gear if I want to win.

Daisy: I need to prove to the others that I am worth having on the team, or else I'm toast. Most people are stronger than me, so I need to play the game now more than ever.

Toadette: Making alliances with the right people is essential at this point. I need to get the former Outcasts on my side if I want to turn the tide against the others.

Yoshi: If the Inferno tribe finds out about Ed and my Idols, we're screwed. We'll need both if we want to make it into the final three.

Ed: Even with two Idols, we might be screwed. We'll need four or five if we want to take the easy road. Since we don't have that luxury, we'll need to make friends with the right people.

Bro Mamma: Forget strategy. People who play the game _too_ much get voted out in the finale. I'd rather lose with honor than lose without. Maybe I'll win, but it's too soon to tell.

Birdo: If I can't prove myself the very first week, I'll be voted off as dead weight. But I've never approved of alliances. What do I do?

Funky: This is not the end. It isn't even the beginning of the end. But, maybe, it's the end of the beginning. I said that right, didn't I?

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_The Super Alliance in the Inferno tribe takes hold._

"You, me, the kid, and Ed over there," Waluigi said. "With the four of us, we'll whittle down the competition until the merge."

Yoshi: Should I tell Waluigi about my two Idols? He probably has a few already. I guess I'll play it by ear, but I have to squeeze the info out of him A.S.A.P.

_Daisy and Toadette form their own alliance._

"You and I have to stick together," Daisy said. "If we don't, the guys will take the upper hand. They probably have the Outcasts already. We need to get a few Idols and show them that we are formidable too!"

_Wario takes the Outcasts under his wing…_

"If we all make it to the finals," Wario began, "Who are they going to vote for, me, or you?"

Birdo, Bro Mamma, and Funky nodded. This seemed plausible.

…_with every intention of betraying them._

Wario: As if I had any intention of bringing them to the final under my watchful eye. I'll murder them. I can make it look like an accident. Not really, but you know what I mean.

_And the biggest surprise of all is the schedule change._

"The Advantage Challenge will be tomorrow," Jeff said, "so that those of you who are forming alliances will have to work quicker and stealthier. You know who you are."

DK: This game just  ed us.

Daisy: This game wants me gone.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**A/N: **

**I will post an A/N each Merge, and after the end of the story. I have some things I want to explain.**

**First off, I admit, I had to tweak or completely change some characters. Bowser is obviously not a scholar in his games, nor is Peach dimwitted. Birdo isn't a non-athletic mom, Luigi isn't overconfident (quite the opposite, actually), Toad doesn't work in real estate, Toadette isn't a grouch, and Rosalina certainly isn't as evil as I make her. I did this for the drama and implications it would have in a real Survivor game.**

**However, there are some characters I kept the same, such as the disgusting and self-serving Wario, the scheming Waluigi, the athletic DK, the lazy Funky Kong, etcetera. There was simply no room for improvement. They were great characters already.**

**Second off, Royal Survivor should not be mistaken for Survivor. Royal Survivor is Royal Survivor. It might be similar, even a parody (dare I say), but a monumental amount of rules have been changed. **

**It is no longer organized into 49 days, rather a series of episodes each usually worth half a week each. This allows a schedule, which allows for staggering schedule changes, as said in the preview above. **

**Second, Advantage Challenges, Roulette Challenges, Coin Challenges, Present Challenges, or even Ancient Coins themselves have never been introduced into Survivor. This allows for a great deal of variation and, in effect, drama. Everybody is excited when challenges come in Survivor. I simply added more challenges.**

**But some aspects of Survivor I kept constant. For example, I allowed for Tribal Council and Hidden Immunity Idols to be carried over. Why? There is no substitute. Tribal Council is, for all intents and purposes, the elimination. If I changed that, I might be able to launch my own game show. Actually, I might someday. The reason I kept Idols is because they lead to a wealth of drama. They are the source of all things exciting at the shelters and camps.**

**Third off, I like feedback. I update my profile every time I post a story. Please check out what I have, and vote in my polls. I will take feedback very seriously, and I will probably let it influence my stories.**

**If you have any questions, PM me. Try not to review with questions; it defeats the purpose of a review.**

**With regards,**

**Mindblower**


	10. NOTE

**THIS IS EXTREMLY IMPORTANT**

**READ IF YOU VALUE THIS STORY IN THE SLIGHTEST**

I am disappoint.

Please note that I am only updating because I have _two full chapters finished_, including my _longest chapter __**ever**_**.** That's pretty sad. I know that you, my viewers, aren't required by Fanfiction law to review my story or do anything besides read it, but _come on_.

I get about 25 or so people who read my story the day that I get an update. Of those people, I should get _at the very least_ five reviews. I got _three_.

I'm not upset, just frustrated. I am not ridiculing anyone in particular. But I have some people who review _every time _I update.

_**THEY ARE A TREMENDOUS HELP TO CONSTRUCTING MY STORY**_

Sorry if I got a bit carried away, there, but it's true. People who review consistently are my butt-kickers. I can tell that they are really absorbed in the story. I'm not saying that the others aren't, but to review my chapters and vote in my polls shows me that you are following along with my narrative.

For those of you who don't care about that, let me put it another way: **After my next season, I will be creating a Fan versus Favs season.**_** The fifteen people who reviewed the most will be the **__**only**__** ones eligible to participate in it.**_

Junk reviews don't count. Let me make this very clear: In order to qualify as a review, it must have these qualities:

It must have:

Your favorite character

Your favorite villain

Who needs work

Who will probably win

The direction the story is headed

It must have grammar that doesn't interfere with comprehension

It must be thoughtful. I will know if you just picked random people. Trust me. I'm psychic.

It's not hard to follow these rules. I'm not trying to dictate your review, but truthfully, if it doesn't include these qualities, it's not really a review.

I will be opening Anonymous Reviews until the end of February.

People who flame, troll, or use the same reviews over and over will be reported and will not be eligible for my Fans versus Favs season. Oh yeah. I went there.

For my dedicated readers who are already following what I am saying here, good job. Truthfully, if you submit a hugely long review that tells me what you think of every character so far, then you need say no more. That's more than enough.

For those of you who just got into this story and are reading through it, only fret if you haven't reviewed yet. If you haven't, just click to the previous page, scroll to the bottom, and review. It's not hard. I've done it lots.

**Do not review this note. I will probably delete it when the story is finished.**

Phew. Needed to get that out. Officially, I'm updating earlier than I should have, but that's the reason I'm disappoint.

With regards,

_**REVIEW,**_

Mindblower.


	11. Episode Eight

**Crazy note, right?**

**If you haven't read it but simply skipped over it, READ THE NOTE. It contains EXTREMLY IMPORTANT INFORMATION.**

**By the way, Bowser Jr. scored the highest on my poll with 19% of your votes. The runner-ups were Waluigi and Yoshi, both with 14%. Just something to keep in mind as we move forward.**

_**Previously on Royal Survivor...**_

_Daisy pushes everyone to wit's end._

__Waluigi: Daisy is insane. We know this. She knows it. So, the question is, why isn't she gone yet?

"We can take care of ourselves, thank you very much!" Daisy growled.

Yoshi froze in his tracks. He laughed a bit, out of shock. "Oh, you did _not_ just play that card."

Toadette: The only reason I'm not voting for her is because she takes the focus off _me_. I mean, I think I've proved so far that I'm not a very likable person, and I think BJ and Waluigi have an alliance.

_Wario turns traitor on the Hero tribe..._

"Fine, then," Wario said. "Call me a traitor, but… Hero is planning to launch a raid on you. Tonight."

Yoshi looked at Ed, who looked back. "Outcast is known for its hospitality," Yoshi said. "Come and sit down. I want all the details."

DK: Wario flat-out screwed us over. He didn't even think it was a big deal, either.

..._and his tribemates pay dearly for underestimating him._

Ben inspected the jar to make sure there were four votes. Satisfied, he said, "Now, before I tally the votes, would anyone like to play a Hidden Immunity Idol?"

Wario raised his hand. In it was a coveted Idol. "I believe I have one handy."

"So the person voted off of Survivor and the first member of our jury is… Bowser," Ben finished. "Your tribe has spoken."

Bowser: I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing Wario's trickery sooner. I'm also disappointed in myself for not making it farther in the game.

_In one of the biggest upsets of the game, Outcast is split up..._

Yoshi: We've basically been coasting until this point. It will take a lot more work now to get by. I'll be expecting my very first tribal soon.

Funky: Losing sucks. What sucks even _more_ is the fact that it all fell within the rules of the curse. We tied for second, then we came in second and lost. That's what really ticks me off.

Bowser Jr: Outcast finally gets payback for destroying the Fire tribe early in the game. From now on, Hero will be our only worry.

..._and strategies form instantaneously._

Toadette: Making alliances with the right people is essential at this point. I need to get the former Outcasts on my side if I want to turn the tide against the others.

Birdo: If I can't prove myself the very first week, I'll be voted off as dead weight. But I've never approved of alliances. What do I do?

Wario: There goes my plan to hitch a ride with the Outcasts. I know Peach and DK have it out for me, so I'll have to make an alliance the first chance I get.

_With so much going on before and after the merge, there is much to think about. Will Wario survive? Will Yoshi and Ed's alliance hold? Will alliances form as each and every player wants it?_

_And then there is the most important question of all..._

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Champion, Wednesday**

The new tribe of Wario, DK, Peach, Bro Mamma, Funky, and Birdo made its way back to the camp. It was a nervous air, as the tribe had been composed of two sides of the equation up until this point. Now they were one tribe. But that didn't necessarily mean they one people.

Peach: People I can't trust: Wario, because he's a traitor, and Birdo, Bro Mamma, and possibly Funky, because at one point they were all under Rosalina's iron fist. Even DK might be a little on the dangerous side, because he has close ties to Funky, who I don't entirely trust.

Wario: Let's see here... Peach and DK have it out for me for obvious reasons, and Funky will probably side with DK. Bro Mamma and Birdo are wild cards, but I doubt they would side with me because of my previous actions. But I'll play it by ear. There's a lot of time before the next elimination.

DK: I think Peach is drifting farther and farther away from the alliance ever since Bowser left. Funky, I know will take my side, but I dunno about Birdo and Bro Mamma. We just need to get Wario out as soon as possible, or he'll pick us off one by one, no questions asked.

They made it into the former Outcast's camp. The cauldron hung outside, next to the wooden table and cookware. The clay shelter was steadfast. Several fires burned set distances from each other. An unfinished monument of Rosalina was dissolving in a synthetic acid.

Overall, from the former Heroes' perspective, it was heaven.

Peach inhaled the smell of civilization. It had never smelled so good.

DK went over to the shelter and looked inside. He gaped.

Wario went over to the clay pits and inhaled. He grinned. "Gray gold," he muttered.

The former Outcasts watched them nervously. Birdo winced as DK scooped some rice out of the pot and added it to a bowl, because it was only half cooked.

Birdo: ...Having the Heroes look at and touch our stuff made me feel a little proud, a little nervous, and a little... awkward.

After the former Heroes settled, the tribe had a meeting to set up camp rules.

"All I know is that this place was well run," Birdo said. "There was a schedule to define every moment of every day. That's why this place looks so good."

"We also had a tribe leader," Bro Mamma said. "For a while, it was Rosalina. Then Yoshi."

"Well, we know how the Rosalina thing went," Peach rolled her eyes. "And I'm not too sure about Yoshi's... sanity."

The former Outcasts looked at Peach strangely.

Peach: Okay, yeah, my comment was a _little_ off base. But c'mon. The guy is a hyperactive dino who was born with shoes and a saddle on. If that guy wasn't born to drive people nuts, then no one is.

"...Anyway," DK continued, "I think that the new Champion tribe should stick to Outcast rules for the time being, with a Hero as leader. But we'll play it by ear."

"So who should be leader?" Bro Mamma asked. "Peach or DK?"

Wario snorted, but said nothing.

Wario: I understand why you don't want me to be leader, but you don't have to be a about it.

Peach and DK held a short conference. Then Peach said, "We'll co-lead. DK will be in charge of the hunting party, and I'll be in charge of running the camp."

The Outcasts nodded. They agreed that this seemed fair.

"So what was the schedule before?" Peach asked.

The Outcasts looked at each other.

"Umm..." Birdo began, "We might be able to piece it together, but you'll have to fill in what we don't remember."

DK nodded. "So... what would you guys be doing right now?"

"I think this was the time when we did repairs or building projects," Funky said. "The shelter is never _really_ finished, y'know?"

"...Then get to work! Uh, I guess..." Peach mumbled.

The Champion tribe got to work. But they had a variety of jobs. Some were repairing the shelter's slightly unstable roof, some were gathering ingredients for a stew, some were tending to the fire pit, and one was trying to revise his schedule.

That one man was Wario.

Wario: As ironic as it is, I think _I'm_ the outcast in this game. The loner. The traitor. Heh-heh. Peach and DK are in for more trouble then they'd ever believe. All courtesy of yours truly.

Wario tapped on Birdo's shoulder. He whispered in her ear, "Meet me at the clay pits in five minutes." He did the same to Funky.

Bro Mamma was a bit harder to convince.

"Get lost," Bro Mamma said upon encountering Wario. She was on top of the shelter, also, making the convincing less secretive.

"Whether you listen or not, I'd think that staying informed is better than joining the Jury," Wario said.

"Beat it," Bro Mamma said, not even looking up.

Wario exhaled and tapped his foot impatiently as he tried to think of something. "I own a horse."

Bro Mamma stopped and looked at Wario warily. "Huh?"

"I own a horse," Wario said.

Bro Mamma hopped off of the shelter. "What do you mean?"

"I own a horse," Wario repeated. "Now follow me if you don't want to meet her."

Bro Mamma cautiously followed Wario to the clay pits. Birdo and Funky were already there.

"Since we're all here," Wario began, "Let's get down to business. My alliance needs a few more members to pick off the Heroes. You're the people I need."

Bro Mamma turned to leave, but Wario grabbed her shoulder and said for the fourth time, "I own a horse."

Bro Mamma slowly turned around. "Someday, I will find out what that means, and then there will be unpleasant consequences."

Wario rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. So, what do you think about being in an alliance?"

"I think I'd rather not," Bro Mamma said.

Wario held up his hands. "Just hear me out. Alliances are power. All you have to do is vote smart, and we'll make it to the Merge."

"And then?" Birdo asked.

"Well... we'll play it by ear," Wario finished.

"And why should we even trust you after what we've heard? Y'know, the Hero turned traitor?" Funky asked.

If we all make it to the finals," Wario began, "Who are they going to vote for, me, or you? You, of course. I'll be happy as long as I just get to the finals at all. And nobody likes me anyway, so what have you go to lose?"

Birdo, Bro Mamma, and Funky nodded. This seemed plausible.

"I guess I'll give this alliance a chance," Bro Mamma said. "I like your thinking, Wario."

Bro Mamma: I'd be an idiot to trust Wario. But, like I said, I'll give it a chance.

Birdo nodded and walked off with Bro Mamma. Funky stayed behind.

"Listen, I want to talk to you," Funky said to Wario.

"What of?" Wario chuckled.

"You know just as well as I do that you didn't mean everything back there," Funky said.

Wario gaped in fake shock. "What? My sir, I'm offended!"

"Cut the crap," Funky said. "And you know I'm an Outcast. Rosalina may have been our ring leader, but I can be just as devious if not more than her."

"Your point?" Wario demanded.

Funky laughed. "My point? My _point_ is to watch your back, Wario. You're not the only one who'll do whatever it takes to make it to the finale."

Funky ran off, but Wario stood there, pondering what Funky had said.

Wario: As if I had any intention of bringing them to the finale under my watchful eye. I'll murder them. I can make it look like an accident. Not really, but you know what I mean. But what Funky said put me on edge. I was watching my back, but there are wolves on all sides now.

Funky: I... don't really have a plan as of now. But I will. Watch out, Wario. Because this is when the real game begins.

**Inferno, Wednesday**

The new Inferno tribe of Waluigi, Bowser Jr, Daisy, Toadette, Yoshi, and Ed made its way back to the former Fire camp, current Inferno camp. They were about as divided as the Champion tribe.

Waluigi: It's me and Bowser Jr. versus the girls. Yoshi and Ed would make a good tiebreaker, if the girls don't get to them first. But I'm not worried. They haven't seemed to do anything about our alliance so far, and we still have an Idol.

Daisy: I'm happy that I made it this far in the game, but I'm more scared than ever. Waluigi and Bowser Jr. have a power alliance and I don't have any friends. So I need to get Yoshi and Ed on my side fast.

Yoshi: The Fire tribe members aren't exactly a happy family, so they'll all be coming to me and Ed hoping to catch the swing vote. It's great for us, because it puts the power in _our _hands.

Ed: If Yoshi and I can take advantage of us being in the alliance cross-hairs, we can smash the Inferno tribe to bits. But that's a pretty big _if_, so we'll have to watch our step. Royal Survivor isn't a forgiving game.

They all made it back to camp, and diverged into their own groups.

"Y'know what I find amusing?" Ed asked Yoshi. "The only inhabited structures on this island were built by the Outcasts."

Yoshi laughed. "You're right! We're like the tribe contractors!"

Waluigi pulled Bowser Jr. aside. "Listen, kid. We need the Outcasts, like it or not. They're the winning votes."

"So we go and recruit?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"I have a better idea. We watch the girls. They're bound to make a move for the others sooner or later. We'll listen to their offer, and we'll try to make a better one," Waluigi said.

"What if they don't make an offer?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"Then we nab them at the eleventh hour. Maybe after the Present Challenge on Thursday," Waluigi explained. "I doubt the girls'll be that stupid, though."

Bowser Jr. nodded. "I'll try not to give them the slip."

Waluigi and Bowser Jr. went off to do jobs around the camp.

Daisy and Toadette warily approached each other.

"Listen," Toadette began, "I know we haven't been best buds in the past. But we're falling behind in this game. It's too risky not to be in an alliance now."

"I agree. You and I have to stick together," Daisy said. "If we don't, the guys will take the upper hand. They probably have the Outcasts already. We need to get a few Idols and show them that we are formidable too!"

Toadette nodded. "So what's our game plan?"

"We wait until the guys make a move on the Outcasts. They might show how many Idols they have, or better, where they hide them," Daisy said. "We'll make a better offer or steal the Idols right out from under their noses."

Toadette nodded, and the two separated.

Toadette: Daisy is smarter than she looks, but that isn't saying much. I think that we both might be sent home at Tribal, but I'll do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening.

Yoshi and Ed sized up their competition.

Ed: Royal Survivor is a weird game. On one hand, you're working with your team to win challenges, and, y'know, _survive._ On the other, you're working individually inside your team to prevent yourself from getting eliminated. It's tricky.

"I bet that Waluigi and Bowser Jr. have a much better idea of what's going on than the girls," Yoshi said. "Waluigi is a businessman, so he probably keeps up with what's going on."

"Yeah, but I dunno about Daisy. She's hard to read. I'm still not entirely convinced that Daisy kicked you out of the Fire camp because she didn't like our handiwork or that the Fire tribe wasn't dependent on our help," Ed argued. "I wouldn't underestimate her. Not for a second."

Yoshi acknowledged this and thought for a moment. "How about this: We wait for them to come to _us_. Then we have the bargaining power. But I'd be careful about Waluigi. He's a spin doctor. Don't let him fool you."

Ed nodded, and the two separated.

**Inferno, Thursday**

"_Hey guys!_" Daisy shouted from the Tree Mail tree. "Guess what?"

The Inferno tribemates walked over.

"It's that time of week again," Ed muttered.

Ed: It hit me when Daisy called for Tree Mail: We were still cursed. No first place for us. That means we were dead if the others found out.

Yoshi: I knew we had to compete in as few challenges as possible. The Present Challenges lent for a bit of leeway, but I wouldn't count on it.

"So here goes," Daisy began. "_The time has come/to change the game. The choice is heavy/try to stay sane._"

"Pretty much lost my sanity earlier this week," Ed muttered. "So who's going?"

"Hmm..." Waluigi said. "Who hasn't gone yet?"

"We've all been in a few challenges," Toadette said. "By now, at least."

"Then who goes?" Bowser Jr. asked. "It can't be me, because I went last time."

"How about one of the Outcasts?" Daisy suggested.

Yoshi suddenly felt all the pressure on him. "Um... how much do you trust _us_ to actually help your tribe?"

"Good point," Waluigi mumbled. "I think though, truthfully, it's Toadette's turn."

"_What_? _Mine?_" Toadette squealed.

"Yes, yours," Waluigi finished. "You haven't been in a challenge in a great while. Your last challenge was probably when Rosalina was still around."

"Ugh," Toadette muttered.

Toadette: Sue me for not liking challenges very much. I just don't have that good a record. And I just won't work well under the pressure of having a 'game-changing decision.'

**Champion, Thursday**

"Who did the last challenge...?" Peach asked after Funky read the Tree Mail.

"Hmm..." DK pondered. "Me, I think."

"So we'll rule out DK," Peach said. "That leaves the me and the Outcasts."

Wario rolled his eyes but said nothing.

Wario: They've really been giving me the cold shoulder lately, and I'll admit it's bugging me a little. But here's a flaw in that plan: If they rule me out for everything, I can prank them as they flounder to find a way to accuse me without _accusing_ me. So I'll get them back within the week.

Peach: I can tell Wario's pissed about us pretending not to notice him, but I'm on edge about what he'll do about it. DK and I want to keep this up as long as we can, but there's a lot that can go wrong with this ploy to ignore Wario.

"I went in the first half of that challenge, so it has to be an Outcast," Peach said.

Funky: 'It has to be an Outcast' means _uh-oh_ for us. We're still cursed. They just can't find out about it.

"I might as well go," Birdo said in defeat, knowing there was no way out.

"It's decided then," Peach concluded. "Good luck, Birdo."

Birdo: I hate challenges. Really, I do. But it might not be as surprising if I lose as opposed to Bro Mamma or Funky.

Bro Mamma: Birdo bought us some time, and for that I'm grateful. But borrowed time doesn't last forever.

**Present Challenge**

The Challenge grounds were a bit different. As in, dark. Dark, and a little spooky. It wasn't the kind of dark when you can still see most of your surroundings, but it wasn't pitch-black. It wasn't bad dark, but it wasn't a good dark either. It was an... ominous dark. It needs no more explanation.

Toadette and Birdo were standing at the center of this massive darkness. Surrounded on all sides. The air gave away that they were still in the jungle, but it seemed like an unnatural nighttime.

"Welcome, contestants. One from Inferno and one from Champion in the first challenge since the Merge," a voice, presumably Jeff's, said from nearby. "This is an interesting challenge. The first one you'll have that's in three parts.

"The first part is based on trust," Jeff said. "Six people have left this game since it has begun, all for different reasons."

A stone bust of Toad was lit up by a spotlight to the right of the players.

"Toad," Jeff began, "was voted out of the Hero tribe simply because he was weak. Here are what some of the others thought of him. These voices you might recognize."

"_Sorry, buddy, but you utterly sucked in the Advantage Challenge. You're of no use to us._" Wario.

"_I love you, but you can't do the work like everyone else can._" Peach.

A plastic bust of Luigi was lit up to the right of the Toad statue. It was still facing the contestants, though.

"Luigi was voted off at the second tribal council for his overconfidence, or so the great majority of the Fire tribe said," Jeff continued. "Listen to these quotes."

"_What really bugs me about Luigi is that he's so overconfident and self-absorbed, and won't listen to anyone who tells him he's not capable of pulling anything off._" Bowser Jr's voice rang loud and clear.

"_Well, you could safely say your little expedition was a complete failure_!" Waluigi was yelling. "_Not only is our Tribal Torch gone, all of our Ancient Coins are, too_!"

"If he hadn't been so rash, maybe he would have made it this far into the game. But he was, so he isn't," Jeff said.

A bronze bust of Diddy Kong was lit up to the right of Luigi, facing the center, toward the contestants.

"Diddy Kong had a lack of awareness of his dwindling importance. Nobody thought much of him, so there aren't any quotes to speak of that have a significant input," Jeff said.

A silver bust of Mario was lit up to the right of Diddy, facing the contestants like the others.

"Mario was the victim of an injury, though whose fault it was remains debatable," Jeff said. "Nevertheless, he stayed true to his alliance as the tide turned against him. Listen to these quotes."

"_I regret to tell you, Peach, that Mario must go_." Bowser.

"_Though I'm pretty sure my alliance turned against me, I'm staying true to it anyway. I hope they feel guilty._" Mario himself, just before he was eliminated.

An obsidian bust of Rosalina lit up next to Mario's. 

"Rosalina has quite a history," Jeff chuckled. "Many people had mixed feelings for her throughout the game. She was incredible as a player and adored as a leader, but in the end, it was her reckless assumption that everyone would obey her that was her downfall. Listen to these quotes. It seems as though everyone had a opinion of her," Jeff added.

"_I learned humility due to Rosalina. Thanks for that. I also hope you'll be brutally crushed next week!_ " Mario, after he was voted out.

"_JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON HERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN ORDER US AROUND!_ " Daisy was screeching.

"_YOU'RE SUCH A SADISTIC _!_ " Funky was yelling at Rosalina.

"_**You will be condemned to be second-best.**_ " Birdo shuddered at Rosalina's death sentence.

Finally, a marble bust of Bowser was lit up to complete the circle, facing inward.

"Bowser was brilliant, but he was felled by Wario's trickery. His trust in his plans and lack of caution on the home front was what became his downfall," Jeff said. "Listen to these quotes."

"_Y'see, nobody thinks I'm a criminal mastermind. But I am. So they had to pay the price._ " Wario.

"_If Wario can outwit my dad, either my dad isn't as smart as he looks, or Wario is tons smarter than he looks._ " Bowser Jr.

" All of these contestants had one thing in common: The want to win," Jeff said. "But you don't know why. Why would anyone want to come out here to play for one million coins? It's insanity, that's what it is. You should ask yourselves why you want to win Royal Survivor. If you find that reason, people will probably respect you more. You have both been given an insight into this game. Don't waste it.

"Now, onto the actual challenge," Jeff said. He stepped into the light holding two baseball bats. "Inside each of these busts is a gift that the actual person would give to you. Its effectiveness sometimes depends on the recipient. But there is a trade-off. You will be given an advantage or a disadvantage in the next phase of the challenge depending on how well that person did in the game overall.

"Choose wisely," Jeff finished, giving both Birdo and Toadette a bat.

Each contestant thought for a minute.

Birdo: My choice was simple. Rosalina played the game. Since she would probably know the Outcast tribe had disintegrated, she would put something in the box that would only apply to said Outcasts.

Birdo gripped the bat and stood a few feet away from the Rosalina bust. "I've always wanted to do this..." she muttered. "_Die!_" she yelled as she ran up and smashed the Rosalina glass bust to smithereens.

Toadette cringed as fragments of Rosalina flew everywhere.

Toadette: I doubt I could be that vicious to Rosalina even if I tried. That was a little weird, coming from a middle-aged mother.

"For future reference," Jeff said while brushing small fragments of obsidian off of his arm, "the head of each of the busts comes off. You don't need to shatter them."

"Then why did we get bats?" Toadette asked.

"To test your problem-solving skills. Ironic, isn't it?" Jeff asked.

Birdo collected herself and rummaged through the glass to try and find the prize. It was a little box, covered in indecipherable runes.

"Wonder what this is," Birdo muttered as she popped the top off of the box.

Suddenly, the room was enveloped in a warm light. When it cleared, everything was the same.

"What was that?" Toadette asked Jeff. He shrugged.

Birdo shook her head. There was nothing left inside the box.

Birdo: That light show was no accident. I don't know if Rosalina remotely tricked me or not, but there definitely was no physical gift inside that box.

Toadette took her time, examining each bust closely.

Toadette: Here's the way I see it: Mario would probably have the best gift, but he didn't make it as far into the game as Bowser did. But I really needed that advantage that came with doing well in the game, so I chose Bowser.

Toadette gently popped the top off of the Bowser bust. Inside was a clue. Toadette read it silently, then ripped the paper up into pieces.

Toadette: It was a game-changing piece of info. _Three Idols are currently in play_. It was just like Bowser to give us a little snippet of insight into what's really going on.

Birdo: Whatever Toadette saw, she seemed pretty happy about it. That makes me worried. But oh well, there's nothing to do about it now.

"_Onto part Two of the challenge," Jeff said._

The rest of the arena was lit up. Legions of presents were lit up in the arena. Hundreds and hundreds of 3"x3" boxes standing on stools four feet off the ground. Toadette and Birdo looked around.

"What you see before you are little boxes of Ancient Coins. Some of them have more than others," Jeff began. "You will be able to pick five to open, with one more for every challenge that the person who you picked won.

"Thus, Birdo, since you picked Rosalina, you can have five extra presents. Toadette, this might be a bitter blow, but Bowser rarely participated in challenges and never won once. So you will have no advantage," Jeff concluded. "Now, pick your presents. The only rule is, you touch it, you take it."

Toadette: Well, duh. Rosalina was obviously the best choice. But my suspicion for what might be in Rosalina's bust outweighed my desire to win.

Birdo: Rosalina has done it again. It's fantastic.

" _Ready... set... Choose!_" Jeff yelled.

Toadette and Birdo spread out among the presents. They were all identical. How were they supposed to make a decision?

Birdo: This challenge was beyond insane. I felt like I was cross-eyed throughout the whole thing.

Toadette: It was surreal. Being surrounded by those tiny boxes made me feel a mix between dizzy and claustrophobic.

Birdo got fed up. She picked ten random boxes up from their stands. Some of them were remarkably heavy.

"Urk," Birdo mumbled as she tried to find the right way to carry all of those boxes.

Birdo: Don't laugh at me! Some of those boxes weighed five pounds or more! Ancient coins are pretty heavy.

Toadette picked five relatively light boxes.

Toadette: My boxes didn't really have any bulk to them. Which could be a bad thing.

The contestants went back to the center of the ring. They put their presents on tables laid out for them. They were the standard yellow for Hero and orange for Fire, but they had a greenish tint; the addition of Outcasts to the team. The table Birdo put her presents on was a mixture of both green and yellow, about half and half. Toadette's Inferno table had more orange than green, but the green was still visible.

"Time to open your presents," Jeff said. "Some of them will have things inside them other than Ancient Coins. Just a warning. Now, Birdo, you first."

Birdo had arranged her presents heaviest to lightest. She opened the heaviest one first. Inside were a countless amount of Ancient Coins.

"You have just earned twenty-five Ancient Coins," Jeff said.

Birdo squealed and opened her second-heaviest gift. Inside was a rock.

"You have just earned a rock," Jeff said, chuckling.

Birdo laughed and rolled her eyes. She opened another present. Inside was about ten Ancient Coins. In her next was the same thing, ten Ancient Coins. As with her next present. And the one after that.

"You have opened six gifts for a total of sixty-five Ancient Coins," Jeff said. "Now, open the rest."

Birdo opened her seventh gift. Inside was a chocolate bar.

"Ugh," Birdo laughed as she opened the bar. "My sweet tooth seems to follow me wherever I go!"

The next two gifts had five Ancient Coins in them each. The final gift had a small washcloth in it.

"Birdo has opened all of her gifts for the grand total of seventy-five Ancient Coins, a chocolate bar, a washcloth, and a rock," Jeff said. "Toadette, it's your turn."

Toadette opened her first present. Inside was fifteen Ancient Coins. So was the next one. Her third present held two V.I.P. passes to the Delfino Spa.

"Yess," Toadette said when she saw the tickets.

"There's more," Jeff said. "These tickets can work into the game. You can become absent for one day. It can be any day where there isn't a Tribal Council. But to leave, you must also bring a friend."

"Easy enough," Toadette laughed.

Toadette: Luck had my side today. But it didn't end there.

In her fourth present, Toadette had ten Ancient Coins. In her fifth and final, though, Toadette found a fine ruby pendant attached to a silver chain. The ruby wasn't big, only a half-inch in diameter, but it was awesome from Toadette's standpoint. She jumped up and down, cherishing her luck.

Birdo: I admit, I was a bit jealous of Toadette's good fortune. But oh well. I still had the advantage Ancient Coin wise.

"Birdo has the most Ancient Coins with seventy-five in her stock. Toadette has forty. On to part three of the challenge," Jeff said. "This is an information-based challenge. There are two things you can do: You can either ask me questions about the game and its status, or save your Ancient Coins for later in the game. The price of the answer depends on the question, and it can range from ten to fifty Ancient Coins.

"Also, I cannot answer questions about Hidden Immunity Idols or questions about your own tribes. You can ask me questions about the other tribe, the weather conditions, how to build a strong shelter, or what the coming challenges are like. Keep in mind, though, that the other person will hear the answers just like you do. Furthermore, you will not be able to write my answers down, and I will not repeat myself. Birdo, you are first. Take as long as you like to think of a question," Jeff finished.

Birdo thought long and hard.

Birdo: Knowledge is power. I want to ask questions that Toadette probably already knows, but I don't. And I guess I can save my leftover coins for another challenge.

"When's the next storm coming?" Birdo asked.

"That will be ten Ancient Coins subtracted from your total," Jeff said. "Do you accept?"

"Yes," Birdo said.

"Birdo now has sixty-five coins. The next storm will hit tomorrow. It will only hit the Inferno tribe, though. It is a tropical storm, but nowhere near a hurricane," Jeff said.

Birdo: My question only ended up helping Toadette. Sigh.

Toadette: Better end this quick so that I can get home and warn the others.

"Who is the strongest person in the Champion tribe?" Toadette asked.

"In what way?" Jeff asked.

"Challenge-wise," Toadette clarified.

"That question will be thirty Ancient Coins," Jeff said. "Do you accept?"

"Wow," Toadette whistled. "Might as well," Toadette sighed.

"Funky Kong has won the more individual challenges than the other Champion members in his career in the game so far," Jeff said. "Whether you decide that's luck or skill is up to you."

Toadette and Birdo pondered this information.

Birdo: I've lived with Funky Kong for twenty-some days, and I never would've thought that he had won the most challenges.

Toadette: That was game-changing information for me, at least.

"I'll save the rest of my coins for later in the game," Toadette said.

"Toadette has officially frozen her Ancient Coin total at ten until the next challenge," Jeff said. "Birdo, do you have any other questions?"

"In fact, I do," Birdo said. "What are the alliances going on in the Fire tribe as of now?"

"That question is worth forty Ancient Coins," Jeff said. "Do you accept?"

"Yes, I do," Birdo said.

"Bowser Jr. and Waluigi have a firm alliance and a game plan for recruiting the alliance of Yoshi and Ed into their comfort. However, Daisy and Toadette have an extremely similar game plan for doing the exact same thing, recruiting Yoshi and Ed. Meanwhile, Yoshi and Ed are waiting for the other alliances to come to them," Jeff said.

"Geez," Birdo said.

Birdo: I never would've thought the Inferno tribe would be so divided like that. Strategy like that could very well destroy the tribe.

Toadette: This info will certainly change my game plan. Thanks again, Birdo.

"I'll save the rest of my coins for the next challenge," Birdo said.

"Birdo has frozen her coin total at twenty-five. This challenge is officially over," Jeff said. "Oh, and one more thing. Remember on the Tree Mail it said it was time to change the game? The Advantage Challenge will be tomorrow, so that those of you who are forming alliances will have to work quicker and stealthier. You know who you are."

Toadette: Oh, crap. And the other tribe members will find out about the schedule change sooner or later, so... I'm screwed.

Birdo: I'll have to reexamine every aspect of this challenge twice. It would help me turn the odds in my favor.

**Inferno, Thursday**

Back in time at the Inferno tribe, it is still daylight.

"Man, what's taking her so long?" Bowser Jr. asked Waluigi.

"Long challenge," Waluigi assumed.

Everything around the campgrounds was done. Thus, the tribemates were relaxing. Daisy and Yoshi were talking about what they would do if they could leave the game for a day. Ed and Waluigi were playing checkers with a grid drawn in the dirt and stones and leaves for pieces. Bowser Jr. was trying to nap inside the shelter.

Bowser Jr: It hasn't been this quiet in this camp since Rosalina aimed her destructo-beam at the place. It's nice.

Daisy: Finally, it's boring again. Peaceful and _boring_. I've been waiting a long time for a break.

Ed: I've seen how turbulent life can be around here, but pretty much every since Yoshi and I arrived, things have been quiet. Nothing to worry about, I guess.

Waluigi: I suppose every low is followed by a high.

Yoshi: It's a lot simpler to take care of the Fire camp. So we have a lot more free time. 

**Champion, Thursday**

"I wonder where she could be," Peach asked to no one in particular.

"Probably a long challenge," DK said to Peach, in particular.

Things weren't bustling around the Champion camp, but they weren't quiet, either.

Wario: Every day we have to moisten the clay pits, test the shelter, fix the roof, disarm the security system, prepare breakfast, weed the courtyard, do an inventory check, cook lunch, throw away bad food, check for bugs in the shelter, check for bugs outside the shelter, check for birds in the roof, do a perimeter patrol, cook dinner, and try not to die. Once a week we have to do laundry, hunt, and add another layer of brick to the shelter. It's busywork, I tell you.  


Peach: Nothing's ever done in this camp. I guess I'll have to live with it, though, because our shelter looks so good and it's so fortified.

Bro Mamma: It's easy work, but... there's _so much of it_!

Funky: Luckily, the Heroes believed that my designated job was to entertain the others with my guitar. I was worried that they'd think I was joking.

**Inferno, Thursday**

It was nighttime when Toadette returned. Some of her tribemates were asleep, but once everyone was awake, Toadette told her tale.

"So I came in second to Birdo coin-wise," Toadette said, "But I got this cool ruby necklace. So I'm happy."

"What did you find out?" Waluigi asked.

"There's a tropical storm hitting us tomorrow," Toadette said. "Like, major. So we need to get fortified, and fast."

"Do you know when tomorrow?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"No," Toadette said. "But there's more: I found out Funky has won the most challenges in the Champion tribe. And the schedule change: The Advantage Challenge is tomorrow."

The tribemates pondered this info.

Yoshi: Funky has won the most challenges. I guess that makes sense, in a way. Rosalina has dominated the whole game, and the only other people that have won any challenges, including myself, are in the Inferno tribe.

Waluigi: Since the Advantage challenge is tomorrow, we need to step up our game. It's night now, so I'll snatch up Yoshi at the break of dawn.

Daisy: This game wants me gone. I mean, the Advantage Challenge is tomorrow? Come on. No way, José. Not possible. This game has officially ed me over.

Ed: Daisy and Waluigi both seemed to panic a little at the mention of the Advantage Challenge tomorrow, which is good for Yoshi and I, because then they'll be begging for our help. I feel the power! Heh-heh.

Toadette: I wanted to stay and savor the look on Waluigi's face, but I needed to tell the rest to Daisy.

Toadette pulled Daisy aside.

"Don't tell me there's more," Daisy groaned.

"Ssh! Not so loud!" Toadette looked around. "Phew. You really think I would tell those bozos everything? Please."

Daisy sighed. "What is it, sister?"

"There are three alliances, ours and BJ and Waluigi's we know about. But Yoshi and Ed have probably had an alliance from even when they were in the Outcast tribe," Toadette said.

"But why?" Daisy thought. "They wouldn't need an alliance. They never went to Tribal."

"That's what I thought," Toadette said. "But here's the thing: If Yoshi and Ed have an alliance, then whatever we tell one of them we automatically tell both. They're a package, so we can't just get one or the other."

"This applies to us how?" Daisy asked.

"Just food for thought," Toadette admitted. "But I'm positive this info'll help us later. Anyway, there's another thing. You and I got free passes to the Delfino Spa."

Daisy squealed, but quieted down when she saw Toadette's look. "Sorry," Daisy said.

"There's more. We can leave any day we want to, except for day where there's an elimination. Spa for a day. It's awesome," Toadette said, "but I think we could use it a different way. Don't take this the wrong way, but we might be able to bribe the boys onto our side if I take one of them to the spa."

Daisy sighed. "I guess you're right. It'll give us an edge, at least."

Toadette nodded. "Sorry, but this will probably help us survive, at least."

"Let's call it a night," Daisy said.

Daisy: Of course I was disappointed. Delfino spa is five-star. But if I win the million coins, then I can go there as often as I like.

Toadette: Honestly, I expected Daisy to scream at me and make a whole big mess out of it. But at least she's smart enough to know what this could get us. I didn't tell her I knew how many Idols were in play. I had to give myself an edge, y'know? That info'll help me later.

Yoshi went to Ed before they turned in.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Yoshi asked Ed.

"Probably," Ed said. "Birdo, a registered Outcast, has won a challenge, hands-down. Something is terribly wrong."

**Champion, Thursday**

Birdo came back late at night and went inside the shelter. A dying fire crackled. She shook each of her sleeping tribemates to wake them up, then added more wood to the fire. She told them the story of the challenge.

"So Funky is apparently has won more challenges than any of us," Birdo said, "The Inferno tribe is a chaotic mess of alliances, and they're going to get hit with a heavy storm tomorrow. The Advantage is tomorrow, so we better get ready."

The tribemates nodded. Funky smiled.

Funky: It's cool to know that I've won the most challenges out of all of my tribemates. Make me feel unstoppable, y'know?

Bro Mamma and Funky took Birdo outside.

"_You realize that you won a challenge," Funky said. "That's supposed to be impossible."_

"What?" Birdo asked.

"Remember the curse?" Bro Mamma said. "What happened during the first and second parts of the challenge?"

Birdo told them about the Rosalina bust and the strange light.

"Maybe she remotely removed the curse," Funky said. "But does it apply to all of us?"

"I'm not sure," Bro Mamma said.

"Let's think about it tomorrow, alright?" Birdo suggested.

The registered Outcasts turned in.

Bro Mamma: If Birdo really is the only Outcast who can win a challenge, then she could be invaluable. If the curse has lifted for all of us, then halleluiah. But there's really only one way to find out.

**Inferno, Friday**

Waluigi woke up early and found Yoshi, who is always an early riser.

"You're up early," Waluigi told Yoshi.

"I'm an early riser," Yoshi said. "What's up?"

"I need to bring you in on our alliance," Waluigi said. "You, me, the kid, and Ed over there. With the four of us, we'll whittle down the competition until the merge."

Yoshi thought about this. "I'll keep you in mind."

"I'll give you until after breakfast to answer," Waluigi said. "You'd better not leave me hanging."

"Count on it," Yoshi said.

When the others woke up, Toadette took Ed aside.

"We need you and Yoshi in Daisy and I's alliance," Toadette said.

"Give me a reason to join you," Ed challenged.

Toadette showed him her Delfino tickets. "You vote with us at Tribal Council, then I'll take you to the spa, no strings attached."

"So if I vote with you, and do exactly as you tell me, then you'll take me to the spa?" Ed said. "Sounds like a win-win deal."

"I'll stay true to my word, or you can side with the guys and vote both of us out as soon as you like," Toadette pledged.

Ed nodded. "I'll get back to you after breakfast."

Ed and Yoshi met and talked strategy.

"Here's our choices," Yoshi said. "We can side with the smart guys and, for sure, make it to the merge. Or we can side with the predictable girls, and if we make it to the merge, we'll, for sure, make it all the way to the final five or six."

Ed thought about this. "I really want to go on that spa trip, but I think the girls aren't smart enough to play this game well, and I don't want them to control the alliance. We have the power to survive, we still have our secret weapons, and a lot can change from here to the Merge."

Yoshi: Should I tell Waluigi about my two Idols? He probably has a few already. I guess I'll play it by ear, but I have to squeeze the info out of him A.S.A.P.

"I guess we should try to find out if Waluigi has any Idols of his own," Yoshi said.

Ed jumped. "Wait! If Waluigi and Bowser Jr. have an Idol, then we could do exactly as the girls say, get the spa trip, and still side with the guys, technically. We just need to find out who the girls are voting for and relay that to Waluigi, and take it from there."

Yoshi laughed. "How devious of you, my friend! Let's do it."

Ed: We are Outcasts. We are devious little demons who raise Hell for the other contestants. The funny thing is, they're coming to us like they can't get enough of it. If I were them, I would've removed us from the picture as soon as we went to tribal. We may be able to save our Idols even after the Merge.

Yoshi went to Waluigi and pulled him aside. "Listen. The girls came to us and offered us a spa pass if we voted their way. If you have an Idol, we could learn who they're voting for and give you the info. Then we vote the same way, it doesn't count, and one of the girls gets kicked out of the contest. What say you?"

Waluigi laughed. "I couldn't have said it better myself. I in fact do have an Idol waiting and ready. After you take the spa trip, we don't really need one anymore. I guess your plan implies that Daisy has to go first. I'll make sure it happens."

Yoshi: I was surprised that Waluigi told me he had an Idol ready to use so quickly. I guess he was so ecstatic about the plan that he didn't think about what would happen after both girls were gone. He didn't even ask me if Ed and I had any Idols. For a smart guy, that was pretty stupid.

Ed went to Toadette and said, "We're in. Who're we voting for?"

Toadette jumped up and down in excitement. "We're voting off Waluigi first. He knows too much."

Ed nodded. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Ed: Being an Outcast is awesome. You always have all the power.

**Advantage Challenge**

The two tribes met at the beach. Over the water were two long ropes attached to two metal girders. Pressure pads were connected to the ropes. Jeff stood on the beach. The wind was picking up, and rain was beginning to fall.

"Hello, contestants," Jeff half-yelled over the wind. "Here's how today's challenge works.

"One of your own will be attached to a harness out on the water. They will be treading water. The harness is attached to a long rope, which is attached to a pressure pad. You must pick up items from around the island to put on the pressure pad. Keep in mind that the pressure pad will sink under the water, and the current is strong today. IF the person treading water falls under from exhaustion, not from current or waves, their team loses.

"You are not allowed to take items from the other team's pressure pad, and you are not allowed to leave the beach, but you may travel the circumference of the island if necessary. To win the challenge, you must rise the person in the water completely out of it. Also, the other team will choose which player is in the harness. You can do so now," Jeff finished.

The Champion tribe formed a huddle.

"None of the Inferno members are really that heavy, so we have to choose between low stamina and low strength," Bro Mamma said.

"Yoshi is pretty much the strongest person on the Inferno tribe, but he could tread water forever," DK said.

"Toadette wouldn't help them much when it comes to getting stuff to put on the pressure pad and she has low stamina, but she's light," Funky said.

"Not many good choices," Peach muttered. "Yoshi is probably the best choice, because he's the strongest and he's pretty heavy."

The Champions nodded.

Over at the Inferno huddle, they were stuck between Funky and Birdo.

"DK is the bulkiest person on their team. It would take them a long time to raise him up," Daisy argued. 

"True, but Birdo is only a little less heavy, and she has bad stamina," Waluigi said.

"Well, if DK was out and about, he could probably find a huge boulder to swim out to sea," Yoshi said. "I think Daisy's choice makes sense."

Waluigi nodded. "I guess so."

"Champions, what is you choice?" Jeff asked.

"We choose Yoshi to be in the harness," Bro Mamma said.

"And Inferno?" Jeff asked.

"We choose DK," Daisy said.

"DK and Yoshi, get into your respective harnesses," Jeff commanded.

They did. DK's harness, rope, and pressure pad was yellow-green, while Yoshi's was orange with a little green mixed in.

"The first Advantage Challenge with the Champion tribe of Bro Mamma, Funky, Birdo, Peach, Wario, and DK against the Inferno tribe of Daisy, Waluigi, Toadette, Bowser Jr, Yoshi, and Ed. You're playing for immunity and a prize which I will not yet tell you," Jeff said. "Ready... set... GO!"

The tribe members scattered in different directions.

Yoshi shivered in the water.

Yoshi: I'm not waterproof. It was cold to just sit out there. That, and the rain was picking up.

DK stayed calm and watched the contestants. Daisy was the first out to the pressure pad with a large rock, maybe about twenty pounds. She placed it on Yoshi's pressure pad, and it pressed down a bit. Because it was right on the water, liquid seeped onto the pad, but the rock stayed firm due to its flat bottom. Yoshi's rope raised about an inch, but two feet of slack was still in the water.

Daisy: It's harder than it looks, putting things on that pad. It was about twenty feet from the shore, and the water was about seven feet deep. We had to carry whatever we had to put on the pad, then swim with it, then put it on the pad. The wind was howling and the rain was torrential. Not a good day for a challenge.

The contestants slowly gathered up odds and ends from the beach and steadily put them on the pressure pads. Yoshi's slack was nearly gone, and Funky's rope only had a few inches of slack left.

Funky was scouring the beach for a suitable load.

Funky Kong: My strategy was simple: Find a big rock, and roll it toward the ocean.

Funky finally found a big enough rock and started rolling it toward the ocean. Once he was at the edge, he yelled, "Hey, Champions, a little help?"

Peach, Bro Mamma, and Wario dropped what they were doing and went to help DK They slowly walked the stone out to the water while the Inferno tribe watched helplessly.

Bowser Jr: That was really, really... I can't even put it into words. It crushed our team, for sure. 

Yoshi: There is a common strategy among primates: Find big rock, crush competition. It works a lot of the time.

With most of the Champions' effort, the rock was placed on the pad. DK almost shot out of the water, with only his ankles still in the water.

"_There's still a chance_!" Daisy yelled.

Ed: I wanted to believe there was still a chance, but no one could find something like that again.

The Champion tribe easily finished the challenge. They patted each other on the back, and muttered, "Good job."

"Champions have won the challenge!" Jeff yelled over the wind. "You will not go to Tribal tonight. You have won a set of iron spears, six, to be exact. Good night, and good luck!"

The Champions hurried out of the torrent.

"Inferno tribe, I'll see you at tribal," Jeff yelled. "Good luck."

Waluigi asked Yoshi who the girls were voting for after they had left.

"You, actually," Yoshi chuckled.

Waluigi nodded. "Good job. See you at Tribal."

**Inferno, Tribal Council**

There was an air of anxiety as the calm after the storm settled in. Daisy and Toadette were less than relaxed, but Yoshi was near paranoia, as usual.

Yoshi: Being at the center of the whole alliance thing isn't good for my nerves. If things don't quiet down soon, I'll have cardiac arrest before this thing is over.

Daisy and Toadette quietly whispered to each other.

Toadette: I'm not an idiot. Whether the Outcasts are traitors or not, I have a secret weapon in case this goes the wrong way.

Waluigi, on the other hand, was perfectly calm.

Waluigi: However this goes, I'll be here until at least the next Tribal, at least.

Bowser Jr. wasn't anxious, but he wasn't completely calm, either.

Bowser Jr: There's a lot that can go wrong with this strategy. The Outcasts aren't really known for their trustfulness, or known very much at all, for that matter. I guess I'll just have to wait and watch.

Jeff met the contestants at the usual Tribal location, atop a hill, the only place in the immediate area that wasn't sludge because of the rain. Bowser was sitting on a bamboo throne next to the voting desks. He watched carefully.

"'Evening, contestants," Jeff said. "I hope you are ready. I can tell just from your faces that this will be one of the most important eliminations, next to Bowser being voted off. Waluigi, there has been quite a lot of drama lately, what do you think about it?"

Waluigi leaned back. "Well, this is an important part of the game. Alliances are beginning to become more necessary, and there are still a few Idols left to play."

"Bowser you know the importance of an Idol in regular gameplay," Jeff said, "Do you think any will be played tonight?"

Bowser look a long look at each of the contestants' faces. "I won't say anything because it might influence the vote. But like you said, Jeff, this is an important Tribal. It will probably decide the path of the entire game, and who will be at the Merge."

Jeff nodded. "Wisdom from the master. Bowser Jr, everyone knows you are an excellent strategist. What do you think of this Tribal, and of what it entails for you?"

"Thanks," Bowser Jr. said. "I take after my dad. There's a lot that could go wrong for all of us. The Outcasts are the key to the whole thing. I just hope I'll be here at the end of the week."

Jeff nodded. "Time to vote."

The contestants voted.

Yoshi voted for Waluigi.

Yoshi: Stayin' true to the plan.

Waluigi voted for Daisy.

Waluigi: Not much to say. This isn't a particularly emotional decision.

Bowser Jr. voted for Daisy.

Bowser Jr: I've wanted to write that name for so long!

Jeff opened the jar, looked inside, and said, "Now, if anyone would like to play a Hidden Immunity Idol, now would be the time."

Waluigi took his out of his back pocket and waved it in the air. "Me, for me."

Waluigi gave the Idol to Jeff. Jeff examined it. "This is, in fact, a Hidden Immunity Idol. Any votes against Waluigi will not count."

Jeff read the first vote. "Bowser Jr."

Waluigi laughed. Bowser Jr. looked around, shocked.

"Second vote: Daisy. Third vote: Daisy."

Daisy threw her hands up. "Of course, you'd choose me. Am I really that annoying?" 

"Fourth vote: Waluigi. Does not count. Fifth vote: Waluigi. Does not count. The person leaving Royal Survivor and the second member of our jury is... either Bowser Jr. or Daisy," Jeff finished. "According to Royal Survivor law, in the case of a tie, the two who have tied must duel. Since this is also a game of survival, Daisy, since you have had more votes cast against you in past Tribals than Bowser Jr, you may choose the method of the duel. It must be a physical duel in some way, though."

"W-Wait a second, here!" Bowser Jr. exclaimed. "What just happened?"

"You, my friend, have been played," Toadette said. "I'm not an idiot. Since I had the Outcasts voting for Waluigi already, we might as well have voted for you, BJ."

Waluigi laughed. "An easy manipulation. I saw it coming, but there was really no way to eliminate it and make everyone happy."

Daisy thought about the situation.

Daisy: Bowser Jr. could best me in anything physical, so I knew I was screwed. I couldn't really think of anything at which I might be better than him.

Bowser Jr. fumed over his situation.

Bowser Jr: I'm mad. Waluigi didn't tell me everything he knew. He didn't even warn me of the possibility. I can't get back at him just yet, so in the meantime, I'll use Daisy as a punching bag.

Daisy snapped her fingers. "Got it. A digging contest. Whoever can dig the deepest hole in fifteen minutes wins."

Jeff nodded. "This duel falls within the guidelines. It will be Daisy versus Bowser Jr, a digging contest to determine who stays and who goes."

Bowser Jr. and Daisy readied their shovels and picked a spot to dig. Their tribemates, Bowser, and Jeff, watched from the sidelines.

Bowser Jr: I picked a spot with a little bit of moisture. Enough that it was stable and wouldn't cave in, but not so much that it was mud.

Daisy: I picked a sandy spot, because it didn't have as much water and would be easier to lift. It would get wetter as I dug deeper, anyway.

" _Survivors, ready... GO!_" Jeff yelled.

Daisy pulled into an early lead. She shoveled the sand and dug a quick hole. Bowser Jr. had a bit more trouble, but his hole looked sound.

After five minutes, Daisy's hole was about three feet deep. Bowser Jr's was about two feet deep.

However, a little after the halfway mark, half of Daisy's hole caved in. She was delayed a few minutes by that. Bowser Jr. hit a tree root, but he easily cut through it and continued on.

After ten minutes, Daisy's hole was about four and a half feet deep, and Bowser Jr's was about four feet deep. They were both now working from inside the pit.

Daisy was tiring out. Her hole caved in a little again, and she worked for a minute or two making up for that. Bowser Jr. was a machine, his digging seeming to speed up, or at least stay constant.

"This challenge is over!" Jeff yelled. "Let's measure your efforts."

After fifteen minutes, Daisy's pit was 6.4 deep, taller than her. However, Bowser Jr's hole was 6.9 feet deep, beating Daisy's hole by half a foot.

Daisy pounded on the ground when she found out she had lost, but Bowser Jr. just glared at Waluigi.

Bowser Jr: I was given a second chance today. I'll have to be more wary of not just what I know, but what I don't, too. But this time I won't let my Idols back anyone but me.

"Daisy, you have lost the duel. You are the second member of our jury," Jeff said. "I'm sorry, but it's time for you to go."

Daisy sighed. "It's been a wonder."

Daisy: I'd like to say that my time here has been the greatest moments of my life. But it wasn't. Royal Survivor is Hell on earth. I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

_**Next on Royal Survivor...**_

_The Survivors tell their stories._

"Jeff told me that we have to learn why our tribemates are here," Birdo said.

"I just think it's a good idea," Toadette said. "Like a bonding exercise."

_Yoshi and Ed continue to be the center of attention._

Yoshi: It's like being the most popular guy in high school. Everybody wants something of you.

Ed: I'm not sure we can keep these Idols hidden for much longer.

_And a shocking conclusion to a new type of challenge leaves everyone's head spinning..._

"This is called a Redemption challenge," Jeff said. "We will have, three, total."

Bowser Jr: You're voted off of this game for a reason. Normally you _stay off_, _too!_

Funky: Zombie Survivors. Just what we needed.

Bro Mamma: Y'know, sometimes I wish this was just plain old Survivor.

_...and Royal Survivor once again becomes Hell on Earth._

Toadette: What did I ever do to deserve this?

Birdo: That was a bitter blow... I'm just glad we're not on the receiving end.

Waluigi: This game has just gone from bad to catastrophic.

"I'm _back!_ Hee hee! Did you miss me?"

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	12. Episode Nine

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_In the Fire tribe, it is the Outcasts who grab the power first…_

Ed: If Yoshi and I can take advantage of us being in the alliance cross-hairs, we can smash the Inferno tribe to bits.

"Here's our choices," Yoshi said. "We can side with the smart guys and, for sure, make it to the merge. Or we can side with the predictable girls, and if we make it to the merge, we'll, for sure, make it all the way to the final five or six."

…_but in the Champion tribe, Wario is the center of the Outcast's world._

Wario: As ironic as it is, I think _I'm_ the outcast in this game. The loner. The traitor.

If we all make it to the finals," Wario began, "Who are they going to vote for, me, or you?"

Bro Mamma: I'd be an idiot to trust Wario. But, like I said, I'll give it a chance.

Funky: Watch out, Wario. Because this is when the real game begins.

_Toadette and Daisy form an alliance._

"You and I have to stick together," Daisy said. "If we don't, the guys will take the upper hand."

Toadette: Daisy is smarter than she looks, but that isn't saying much. I think that we both might be sent home at Tribal, but I'll do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening.

_Birdo wins a Present challenge, and the other Outcasts react sharply._

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Yoshi asked Ed.

"Probably," Ed said. "Birdo, a registered Outcast, has won a challenge, hands-down. Something is terribly wrong."

Bro Mamma: If Birdo really is the only Outcast who can win a challenge, then she could be invaluable. If the curse has lifted for all of us, then halleluiah. But there's really only one way to find out.

_And, in a shocking Tribal Council, Toadette proves she has advanced tactics…_

"You, my friend, have been played," Toadette said. "I'm not an idiot. Since I had the Outcasts voting for Waluigi already, we might as well have voted for you, BJ."

…_but Daisy, despite having a chance to win, falls short of beating Bowser Jr in a duel._

Daisy: I'd like to say that my time here has been the greatest moments of my life. But it wasn't. Royal Survivor is Hell on earth. I'll remember it for the rest of my life.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

**Inferno, Friday**

The Survivors of the Inferno tribe, tired from the hectic day of strategy, zombie-walked into the shelter and flopped down next to each other. Toadette seemed to be the most exhausted of the group.

Toadette: My alliance just crumbled, and I'm out of options. BJ and Waluigi's power alliance will vote me out as soon as they can. I'm sunk.

Waluigi: I need to be more careful. If the scales had been tipped any more in Toadette's favor, Bowser Jr. wouldn't be here now.

**Inferno, Saturday**

In the morning, Ed walked up next to Yoshi, who was testing which stalked of grass made him look cooler when placed in his mouth.

"Any luck?" Ed asked Yoshi.

Yoshi checked his reflection in the river. "I can't make it look anything other than 'Cowboy.'"

"Better than 'Cowgirl,'" Ed laughed. "Anyway, I think I have a game plan set up."

"Hmm?" Yoshi looked around. No other Infernos in sight. "Shoot."

"Because we shattered Toadette's alliance, she'll be desperate to be protected," Ed said. "So we align with her to buy her vote. Then we get rid of Waluigi before he finds out. Then we use an Idol or two to buy us immunity to vote out Toadette, then Bowser Jr, and Presto! We're the only remaining Infernos."

Yoshi tried to let this process in his dinosaur brain. "Wow. And you thought of this all last night?"

Ed nodded. "I think myself to sleep."

Yoshi: How does that even work? I mean, it was like Ed waved a magic wand and got us to the Merge.

"Problem, Edster," Yoshi said. "There are always a certain amount of Idols in play, right? So there's going to be another one in play soon, too."

"If we find it, we'll have three," Ed mused. "Whoa."

"Hate to play Devil's advocate here, but that's a slim to none chance," Yoshi said. "We might not even have to vote out everyone. We could still have a person or two left by the Merge."

"I thought of that," Ed said. "But if we need to, that's the plan we'll fall back on."

Yoshi nodded. "Okay. But still, let's win the next few challenges, alright? I'm sick of not having stuff like we did in the Outcast tribe."

Ed nodded. He was feeling the same way.

Ed: I could tell Yoshi was a bit apprehensive of my plan, and I am too. There's a bunch of different things that can go wrong. But hey, a plan is better than no plan.

Waluigi got up and went hunting. Bowser Jr. woke up and pulled Toadette aside.

"Listen," Bowser Jr. said. "Waluigi is hiding stuff from me. Stuff that might get me eliminated."

"Thanks for telling me that. Do I look like a psychiatrist?" Toadette barked.

"Yes, a lot," Bowser Jr. said. "If we can get serious,-"

"You want to get serious? Ew," Toadette interrupted.

"-We need each other. It's clear that the Outcasts have a power alliance and Waluigi isn't my idea of a good partner," Bowser Jr. said.

"Why do I need you?" Toadette challenged.

"You're on a sinking ship," Bowser Jr. said. "Daisy was voted out just yesterday. Waluigi doesn't like you enough to help you, and the Outcasts would just manipulate you."

"And you wouldn't?" Toadette said.

Bowser Jr. looked at her. "I just want answers. If Waluigi really has a secret agenda he's not telling me, I don't want to be at the receiving end of the backstab."

Toadette nodded. "Listen. Not to put a damper on your sails, but Royal Survivor is a shifty game. Alliances change. You aren't able to trust the people who had your back a minute ago. Don't get all huffy about it. If you ask Waluigi, he'll probably tell you."

Bowser Jr. almost laughed. "So you seriously don't want an alliance with me?"

Toadette held her hands up in defense. "Look. All I want is the Outcasts gone. However that happens, if I'm still in the game, I'm fine. Everyone here, to me and most others, is just a stepping stone to being the Royal Survivor. So if you want to give me a boost, feel free. But I'll muck up your face just like I do everyone else's."

Bowser Jr. shrugged and walked away.

Bowser Jr: I'm not sure if that was a threat, fact, or mission statement, but Toadette put me on edge on how much she looked like she knew. Is everyone in this game more informed than me?

Toadette: Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to chase BJ away, but I needed to speak my mind to him. They are all just hurdles, people in my way. I know it's kind of Rosalina-esque when I say something like that, but it's the mindframe you get into if you play this game for almost a month, with the end not even in sight.

**Champion, Saturday**

The Champions woke up, and, as usual, got to work.

Peach was a little worried about that.

Peach: I'm a little worried. There's so much work to be done around here, I can't see if any alliances are forming, which is bad, because then I have no idea whether Wario actually got the Outcasts or not or how my alliance with DK is standing.

Wario: As long as I have the Outcasts in my grasp, I'm unstoppable. We vote out the Heroes and then win the rest of the challenges. It's not hard at all.

Bro Mamma was fixing the roof, _still_. Since that seemed like a never-ending job, Birdo rearranged the schedule and assigned Funky to help with roof duty every weekend. He wasn't happy about it, but it was better than getting rained on.

Funky: It's not that I mind the work, it's just that it never ends. It's a stream of constant labor only broken by breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Since I'm also the best hunter, aside from Wario, I get double duty most of the time. It isn't fair, because since DK and Peach are so afraid of the yellow gambler that they don't want him out of their sight.

Bro Mamma tried to make merry as best she could, but it was cloudy and starting to rain. After the first few raindrops fell, Peach called the campers in.

DK: I was just in the middle of packing up when lighting struck a tree literally _twenty feet_ away from where I was standing. So I left the stuff out. Better than getting electrocuted, y'know?

After everyone was settled in on their beds, they started talking about miscellaneous topics. Peach was rambling to DK about how good Birdo's dishes were, Birdo and Funky were trying to compose a song, and Wario and Bro Mamma were talking about wealth in modern society.

However, like all conversations usually do, they drifted to the topic at hand.

"So, tell us again about the Present Challenge," Wario said. "I think I was too tired to listen well the first time."

Birdo told them about the busts and the numerous presents. She told about how she and Toadette found out numerous things about the current things and went into detail about the mess of alliances in the Inferno tribe.

"That's insane." Bro Mamma shook her head upon hearing the alliance fiasco. "That tribe is a time bomb with a lit fuse. And a short one, at that."

Birdo nodded. "That's what I thought. But then it occurred to me: Yoshi and Ed are over there too, and I hadn't heard anything like this until then. You think they might be the cause?"

"Maybe, maybe not," Funky said. "The Fire tribe was divided already, but Yoshi and Ed coming into the tribe meant they had to change their tactics, and fast."

"I _know_," Bro Mamma rubbed her temples. "But I just can't wrap my head around the fact that they didn't just band together and eliminate the Outcasts at first glance? Why recruit them?"

"The Fire tribe has never got along very well," DK said. "But still. I makes no sense whatsoever that they wouldn't band together for _two measly Tribals _to get the Outcasts out of their tribe."

"Wait a minute," Wario said. "You don't think one of them might have an Idol, do you?"

"There were probably Idols already in the tribe," Peach said. "One or two, at least. Maybe, I dunno. But still, Ed is sly enough to hide them. They wouldn't use them if they didn't need to."

The Champions thought on this.

"Hey, guys," Birdo said, "Jeff told me that we have to learn why our tribemates are here."

"We have to or we should?" Wario snorted.

"Well, I dunno, but I think we should, at least. If we learn why each of us are here, on this show, we'll seem more like people and less like animals," Birdo said. "We're all going to do some nasty things while we're here, why not find out why?"

The Outcasts looked at each other.

"Fine, I'll go first," Birdo huffed. "I'm here because I have a hobby. I like to go to foreign countries and help out with the poor and other people. Hand out charity donations, things like that. I can't right now because there's too much to do around the house. But you know about the tremors at LavaLava Island, right? I want to be able to go there to help out."

Funky was next. "I'm here because I need something to kick off my music career. If I can hold a concert on my own, maybe I'll get a sponsorship. I can't be a beach bum forever, y'know?"

DK and the others nodded. "I think I told you why I'm here," DK said. "My great-uncle is dying of kidney cancer. He doesn't have many years left in him, so I want to make sure that he has as much time as he possibly can. It isn't easy, though…"

The others expressed their sympathy.

Bro Mamma: DK looks like he tries really hard to keep his relative alive. It really changes my opinion about him in general.

Wario: I would've kicked DK out before the merge if I hadn't heard that story. I had a few relatives die for various reasons myself, so I know what it's like. It isn't fun, to tell you the truth.

Wario started to tell his tale. "I wish I had a good reason for wanting to win this game, but all I really wanted to do in this game is experience it. If I'm memorable enough, maybe I'll get to play it again. I hope so. But if I did win the money… geez. A thousand grand isn't something I get to think about day to day. I'd probably give it back to the studio, to make this game even more awesome than it already is."

Peach: Wario's reason wasn't selfish, but it wasn't particularly noble, either. I have to give him credit, though. He's probably the only person here who'd actually want to go through this experience just for the experience.

Peach was next. "A lot of the orphanages are failing in Toad Town, mainly for lack of donations. I've been funding them for a while, but this would help a lot. But, for the record, I've always wanted to be on a reality show. I applied to almost all of them."

Bro Mamma was last. "I really want to help support a family, but I'm always away in wars. It's been peaceful lately, but you know there's a war every five or so years… and this Survivor tale would be something really great to talk about on the lam or on a date."

The others nodded. Since everyone had went, they went back to talking about what they pleased.

Funky: It helped to broaden my perspective of everyone here. I also changed who I wanted to vote for.

DK: Most people aren't here just to be here. It's not the case with Wario, though. I almost laughed when he said he didn't know what to do with the money. It's just not something you'd hear from him, y'know?

**Inferno, Saturday**

The wind and rain was howling and everyone was trying to huddle together for warmth. They were shielded from most of the rain by the shelter, but a trickle still got in, and the wind chilled all of them straight down to their socks.

Yoshi was at the center of the huddle, mainly because he was the warmest at the start, and the others needed his heat. He was fast asleep, though, dormant from the cold.

Waluigi: Yoshi was passed out from the cold, but still had enough warmth to keep all of us from catching hypothermia. I knew we would survive the storm, but the shelter certainly wasn't built with storms in mind.

Bowser Jr: I guess Koopas can generate their own heat, because I never really had a problem with it before. Still, it was pretty damn cold out there, and we were getting desperate.

Toadette: That storm was, by far, the coldest I had ever gone through. It was awful.

Ed: It was terrible, being out there. It only made it worse that the only thing I could think of was our old clay shelter. This wouldn't be a problem then. At all. Sigh…

_Later…_

The storm had subsided, and the Inferno tribemates were looking at the damage. The shelter was weak, at best, and a tree limb had crushed part of it. Various equipment had been scattered around, also.

But it got worse.

Both of Yoshi and Ed's Idols were missing.

"Holy _," Ed said as soon as he noticed the Idol weren't where he hid them, in the crevice of a tree. Yoshi couldn't his, either. They looked everywhere.

Yoshi: Man, now we're totally defenseless if the others band together against us. This has ruined my entire game.

Ed: So much for the plan. We had two Idols to fall back on, and now they're both on the ground where anyone could find them. And it's only going to go downhill from there.

Toadette, who was nearby, picked up a strange rock in the dirt. Further examination led to her doing a mini squeal upon realizing it was a lost Idol.

Toadette: A stroke of good luck hit me today. In the storm, someone lost an Idol. Ed and Yoshi were looking frantically for something, so it might be them. Anyway, I won't tell Bowser Jr. because he might flip back to Waluigi's alliance, but if I can find out who's voting for whom, I can majorly upset the balance.

Yoshi noticed Toadette putting something in her pocket, and quickly ran to tell Ed.

Yoshi: Crap. If Toadette really has one of our Idols, it's as good as gone. This makes Waluigi our prime target.

Ed: As soon as I found out Toadette had an Idol, I knew I needed to keep a close watch on her. I saw Bowser Jr. talking to her earlier, and I think he might have flipped.

However, the frantic searching was interrupted by Waluigi noticing that there was Tree Mail. He jumped up to grab it. It had one simple line:

_Time for Redemption_

Waluigi showed the others. "Another Advantage challenge? So soon?"

Bowser Jr. studied it. "Nah. It's probably going to be something like the Roulette challenge, where the game was all mixed up."

"Man, this sucks," Toadette brooded. "Just what we need. Royal Survivor: Scrambled Egg version."

"The game has changed a lot since it's begun," Ed admitted. "Why not change it more?"

"We may not even recognize the game by the time it's done," Yoshi mused. "I mean, Coin Challenges are just a distant memory, right?"

Toadette nodded. "I guess there's no avoiding it. Let's go."

**Champion, Saturday**

"_Time for Redemption_," Peach repeated. "What does it mean?"

"That's about as mystifying as a double rainbow," Funky said. "What _does_ it mean?"

"It means we're in for another messed-up challenge," Wario said. "And I'm not looking forward to it."

"No kidding," DK said, "but we might as well just go."

**Redemption Challenge**

The contestant, all eleven of them, took a boat ride out to the middle of the sea. A giant platform was suspended above the waves. It wasn't much to speak of; it had a smooth, brown metal surface. A fifty feet square of no interest whatsoever.

Except for the contestants. They were about to decide the most major issues of Royal Survivor… who stays and who goes.

And on this simple pad they would compete in three challenges: All of them major. All of them physically and mentally taxing. They would do so without breaks, without pauses, their tiny hearts and minds stressed to the limit by this straining series of trials.

It was time for redemption.

**Redemption Challenge, Part One: The Rebirth**

The contestants were unloaded onto the metal dock, all wondering what this simple pad had in store for them.

Peach: Royal Survivor has a way of playing with your mind. I mean, the place didn't look like much, but I was getting a little paranoid of challenges.

Bro Mamma: I can't even count the days that I've been out here. Twenty-four? Twenty-five? And it just keeps getting worse. I feel like I have had almost no contact with the outside world, save for when our relatives visited.

Jeff and Ben were waiting for the contestants at the center of the square. The contestants stood and faced him.

"Welcome, Royal Survivors," Jeff said. "Today will shatter your perspective of this game. Most of you would agree that this game is insane, crazy, mind-blowing, exhausting, and downright tough." Jeff laughed, which put the contestants on edge. "Believe me when I say this: You ain't seen nothing yet."

"Yeah," Ben said. "We have several new challenges. We have multiple different ways to make you have to rethink your entire gameplay over and over again. We will bring chaos and disorder to your tribes through this trials and challenges. We will steal from the rich and give to the poor. We will give treasures to those that have everything. You have seen so far only one _third_ of what we have in store for you.

"And today, right here," Ben continued, "We will show you another few percent of the spectacularly terrifying experience we have prepared and ready." Ben signaled to a crew nearby. "Bring them out."

A hatch opened from below deck. The contestants could not believe their eyes when Toad, Luigi, Diddy Kong, Mario, Rosalina, Bowser, and Daisy walked out, in that order. Some even screamed.

"This is called a Redemption challenge. We will have, three, total. These contestants are before you today to come back into the game, at your expense," Jeff said. "One of them will come back because they have a touching reason that will pull at you heartstrings.

"One of them will come back through force in the second part of our spectacular Redemption Challenge.

"One will come back just to make ruckus and mayhem as a self-sufficient Ravager to your lands. Who will they be? You'll find out in a moment," Jeff finished.

"In the first part of this challenge," Ben began, "each of the contestants will tell their story. You will choose one to come back into this challenge. You will also pick in what order they present their cases. You may pick now."

The Royal Survivors formed a quick huddle.

"I'd like to see what Toad has to say first," Toadette said. "How about we just go in chronological order?"

"Yeah, that makes sense," DK said. The others agreed.

"We'll have them present in the order they left Royal Survivor," Funky told Jeff.

"So be it," Jeff said. "Toad, you will present first."

Toad stepped up. "I'd like to win Royal Survivor because I could use the money to help a friend who's in an institution. His family doesn't have enough money to give him therapy, and I don't have any to spare."

The Royal Survivors nodded. It was Luigi's turn next. "Royal Survivor would help me start up a play that I've always wanted to produce. It would help me raise awareness about cancer and heart disease, also," he added.

Then Diddy's turn. "I wanted to win Royal Survivor the same reason DK does: To help our relative in his battle with cancer. It's hard, because he needs thousands of dollars in care a day, and we can't keep it up much longer."

Then Mario's turn. "I want to win Royal Survivor to help out with the LavaLava island evacuation. They won't be able to get everyone out in time because they're so underfunded."

"There's been an evacuation?" Birdo whispered to Yoshi. He shrugged.

Birdo: I had no idea that they were evacuating. I favored Mario instantly in this case.

Wario: Personally, I didn't want any of them back, but I was leaning toward Diddy because of his uncle or Mario because of the evacuation.

Then it was Rosalina's turn.

"The reason I want to win Royal Survivor is to use the money to help prepare for a long journey that would take me to a place where there is rumored to be thousands of lost Lumas. I would love to take those souls under my wing so that they wouldn't be confined to a rock anymore," Rosalina finished.

The contestants considered this.

Waluigi: Rosalina had a solid reason, this is true. But I'd sooner bring Luigi back than risk her coming back into this game, and you _know_ how much I hate Luigi.

Bowser was next. He took a deep breath before he began. "I want to win Royal Survivor for my son, Lemmy, who was diagnosed last month with brain cancer in stage four. He… he'll only live another month or two. He told me that he wanted me to win something on TV. He's only eight years old. I'm… I'm trying to honor his last request."

The contestants were shocked.

Wario: … . I kicked out the wrong person. But I guess… Nah. There's no excuse for that.

Peach: I really hate to say this, but I can't blame Wario for voting Bowser out. I mean, who knew? I might have done the same thing. But… that doesn't really make me feel any better.

Even when it was Daisy's turn, she turned down the opportunity. "Forget it," she said. "I don't deserve to be here as much as Bowser."

Jeff nodded. "Now, contestants, you must vote for the person who _you_ think deserves to be on Royal Survivor most," he said, although it was a blow-out anyway.

Luigi: Yeah, I agree Bowser deserved to be here most of all. But hey, there're still two more chances I get to come back into play, and I'm not wasting them.

Ed: It wasn't a question of morality. I mean, who can argue with a guy trying to fulfill his eight-year-old's last request?

Yoshi: I felt bad for Bowser. Truthfully, though, I wanted Rosalina back in this game more than ever. She would make the rest of us look better. I know, insane idea, right? Wrong.

Bowser Jr: I'm extremely worried that Rosalina might get back into this game. That would be catastrophic news for the rest of us.

It was a unanimous vote for Bowser, unsurprisingly.

"Bowser, since he was brought back in this game, has Immunity until after the next elimination," Ben said. "But this game isn't over yet. There are still two more parts left, don'cha know."

"You're really into three-part challenges, huh?" Toadette asked Ben.

"Just wait until you see our seven-part challenges," Ben said.

Toadette laughed nervously. "You're joking, right?"

Ben chuckled. "Maybe, maybe not. But here's how the next challenge works: First, I'll need each of you to jump into the water, even Bowser."

The water was warm today, so all of the Survivors leapt into the water. The camera crew hovered overhead with Paratroopa wings.

Suddenly, a giant metallic _click_ was heard. The metal covering of the metal dock started to unfold upward slowly, and then sink down next to the water beside the raft. The middle of the raft was now open, and a large rubbery surface started to inflate to fill the gap. After everything was set, the contestants stepped out of the water and back onto the slippery surface.

**Redemption Challenge, Part Two: The Fight for Redemption**

"Here's how this round works," Jeff began. "This surface is incredibly slippery, as you can imagine. Your job is to stay on it. Throughout the challenge, the rubber bubble will constantly inflate, making the surface uneven, thus making it harder to stay on. Also, water will be dumped from our Paratroopa army periodically, dousing everyone and probably knocking down a few.

"If you're knocked down, you can stand back up, but if you fall off the raft, you're out. The last person standing wins. The winner gets individual Immunity. If that person is a redemptee, then they will be back in the game with individual Immunity. Understood?" Jeff asked.

The contestants and the redemptees nodded.

"Then take your places," Ben said as he donned his own Paratroopa wings. Jeff summoned a broom with his Magikoopa magic and flew off to watch with Ben.

The contestants took their places, a good distance from each other. Everyone stayed a good distance from Rosalina.

Rosalina: They all view me as a threat, which to me, is complementary. But whatever. I have never lost a challenge, and never plan to do so.

Daisy: I know I pissed off Rosalina earlier this season, so I'm not expecting any miracles. There's still a chance I might be picked as a Ravager, though. I wonder what that's like.

"Readysetgo," Ben said.

The bubble started to inflate. The contestants held their ground.

DK: It wasn't fun, being on that rubber bubble. Heh, try saying that three times fast.

Waluigi: The bubble was inflating faster than I cared for. My cleats didn't help much, either.

Waluigi was having a lot of trouble staying on. So was Peach, Daisy, and just about everyone else who wore shoes, except for Toadette.

Toadette: The thing about being a Toad is… well, there aren't many advantages to speak of, but I know that it wasn't me having great balance out there. I have _terrible_ balance, but for some reason, I wasn't having any trouble.

Toadette held her ground as the bubble rose about to about a twenty-degree incline. At this point, Peach had already slipped off, and Daisy had picked herself up once. Waluigi had got up but was struggling to find his bearings. None of the others were having any trouble.

Rosalina hopped up onto the top of the bubble without stumbling once.

"Here comes the insanity," Ed mumbled. His feet were already giving way, because the angle had risen to twenty-five degrees.

Waluigi and Daisy both stumbled and fell off. Luigi was having a lot of trouble now, but Mario was having serious trouble. Bro Mamma was having a little bit of trouble by now, but so was just about everyone else.

Except Yoshi.

Yoshi: Don't ask me how I stayed on that long. I just tried to stay near the top of the bubble without getting too close to Rosalina.

By the time the angle had risen to thirty degrees, Ed, DK, Wario, Funky, Birdo, Toad, Luigi, and Mario were all out. This left Bowser Jr, Toadette, Yoshi, Bro Mamma, Diddy Kong, and of course Rosalina.

Diddy: It's no surprise to _me_ that Rosalina was still here at that point in the challenge. She's the Sith Lord of Royal Survivor. I mean, no one can compete with her in any way.

Bowser Jr: I was proud of myself that I had made it that far. I was in the final six, out of seventeen. That's pretty good.

Toadette: My only focus was to beat Rosalina. That was my first and only priority.

Rosalina surveyed her competition. Green fire lit up in her eyes.

Rosalina: Like I was going to pass up an opportunity to use some of my favorite attacks.

Paratroopa soldiers, with water buckets in hand, prepared to dump the liquid at the center of the bubble, right where Rosalina was standing.

The water fell.

Rosalina, sensing the danger, aimed a burst of green fire directly at the torrent. The water instantly turned into vapor, and a blast of air blew Bro Mamma off the platform.

"That's it, we're dead," Bowser Jr. said.

Rosalina smirked at him. "Well, I'm not going allow the slightest chance that I won't come back in this game, now am I?"

Diddy: As soon as I knew that Rosalina was pulling all the stops on this one, I knew we were toast. All we could do was sit and wait as she picked us off one by one.

Meanwhile, the incline was now at thirty-five degrees, and Diddy and Bowser Jr. were having trouble maintaining their footing. Bowser Jr. actually fell, but managed to miraculously pick himself up before he fell off the stage.

The Paratroopa squad aimed another blast. Rosalina sidestepped this one, and the blast headed straight for Diddy. However, Rosalina sent a burst of heat through the water. It scalded Diddy's feet and he was sent sprawling into the water.

Diddy: Like I said, one by one.

Bowser Jr. was next. Rosalina prepared another burst of heat for the coming load.

Toadette had a plan.

Toadette: I had made it this far. I wasn't going to let Rosalina win.

As soon as the load dropped, Toadette charged. While Rosalina was distracted sending the superheated water at Bowser Jr, Toadette ran up and grabbed her hair, pulling her backward. She then slid down the slide, taking Rosalina with her.

This shortly backfired, however. Rosalina summoned her powers and set her own hair on fire, forcing Toadette to slacken her grip. Rosalina regained her footing, and Toadette slid down to the bottom.

Rosalina quenched the flames, and her hair was still blond and glamorous as ever. She got back on top of the bubble. "Clever little sneak," she said.

Bowser Jr. managed to avoid the blast, but ended up falling off after he had jumped out of the way.

Yoshi was now the only one in Rosalina's way.

Yoshi: This was exactly what I had hoped for.

Yoshi flutter-jumped up to Rosalina. "Listen," he said, quietly, so that the others in the water couldn't hear him. "What say I give you the win, and you form an alliance with me when we're in the same tribe, before or after the Merge?"

Rosalina snickered. "Is there any threat to me losing now?"

"Yes," Yoshi said. "Yes there is. Because if you don't get in a voting alliance with me, you'll be voted out—by either tribe—as soon as you go to Tribal, once."

Rosalina thought over this. "…Hmm… I suppose I could give that a chance. But let's make you losing realistic, okay?"

The other contestants watched nervously.

Ed: Yoshi was clearly talking to Rosalina like she had already come back into the game. All of my senses were screaming, _Get Rosalina out at all costs!_, but I guess Yoshi had some master plan that I didn't know about.

Mario: Yoshi and Rosalina are like two peas in a pod. They think alike, they do alike, but Yoshi, at least, has _some_ grasp of morality, whereas Rosalina will do whatever it takes to win.

Rosalina kicked Yoshi in the chest, and then took his feet out from under him. Yoshi was sent, prone, into the water.

"Rosalina is our champion!" Jeff yelled. "She will have Immunity at the next elimination. Now, in round three, we will decide the Ravager."

"Round three is called the Final Opportunity," Ben said, "Because it is. It decides the Ravager of this game. A Ravager is, simply put, an annoying bug that zips around the island, setting fire to campsites, stealing food, and doing whatever it takes to make your life miserable.

"In this challenge," Ben continued, "the redemptees will compete amongst themselves for that honor. That would be Toad, Luigi, Diddy, Mario, and Daisy. This is more of a technical challenge. We will take them aboard our famous yacht to participate in it.

"Also… a word of warning. We can't just bring three contestants back into the game without some consequence or another. I mean, the game would last forever, you get me? Just don't be _too_ surprised when we sucker punch you, aight?" Ben finished. "Well then, it's time for you to stay here, and for me to go. Jeff will stay here just to keep an eye on you. Toodles."

Ben and the other contestants boarded the boat to go to the yacht. Rosalina, Bowser, and the Royal Survivors (and Jeff) stayed on the raft, which had shrunk back to being a metal board again.

Rosalina: I'm _back!_ Hee hee! Did you miss me? Of course not. I'm the devil.

Bowser: It's exciting to be back in this game, it truly is. I won't blame Wario for voting me out, because I didn't tell him about my son, but I will try to blindside him as soon as I can.

Peach: It's _soooo_ exciting to have BowBow back! He's my favorite of the contestants, I mean, besides _me_, obviously.

Yoshi: Trying to manipulate Rosalina is like trying to lasso Cerberus. It's a narrow path I have to travel to avoid being voted out at Tribal or not being selected as Royal Survivor. The way I see it, I'll only be the Royal Survivor if I get both Wario and Rosalina into the finale with me, without the others finding out that I helped them get there.

Ed: I know what Yoshi's planning, sort of. He needs Rosalina to get to the finale with him so that he would be chosen instead of her. That's fine with me… but I'm not sure if I'm included in the equation.

Toadette: There's a lot of strategy going around now that Rosalina and Bowser are back in the game. But what has me worried the most is what Ben said. I need to get Waluigi and Bowser Jr. in on this before it's too late.

However, Bowser Jr. had something else in mind. He pulled Rosalina aside and they went to the very corner of the raft.

"I need your help," Bowser Jr. told Rosalina.

Rosalina folded her arms. "Everyone in this game is more welcoming to me then I thought they would be. Fine, then. Talk to me."

Bowser Jr. inhaled. "Okay. I need your help. Waluigi is most likely planning to backstab me sooner or later. Toadette wants the Outcasts gone and is going to do anything to get rid of them. The Outcasts are trying to do something, but I'm not sure what."

"This involves me how?" Rosalina sighed.

"I can help you to the Merge," Bowser Jr. said. "Whatever it takes for you to get there. And all I need from you is voting support."

"So a voting alliance, then," Rosalina waved him off. "Whatever. You don't get in my way, and I won't get in yours. We're square."

Bowser Jr. nodded, and walked away.

Bowser Jr: I'm caught in a loophole. I mean, what am I going to do to prevent Rosalina backstabbing me, too? Waluigi is distancing himself away from me, Toadette could care less, the Outcasts are suspicious in and of themselves, and Rosalina isn't even serious about the whole alliance thing. What am I supposed to do?

Rosalina: If I need Bowser Jr. gone, then he'll be gone at the next Tribal. But he isn't as much of a worry as Waluigi or Bowser or even Funky Kong. Bowser Jr. isn't a dumb kid, but I can tell he's frustrated with not being able to form a game plan. I can understand that, but the bottom line is I really just don't care.

Ed and Yoshi argued over at another corner.

"Look," Ed said, "I know you made an alliance with Rosalina. It was obvious. Don't try to argue with me on that point. But I _really, sincerely think_ that that's a _bad_ idea."

"How so?" Yoshi asked.

Ed sighed. "Do I really have to explain it to you? Rosalina is a lying, manipulative, cheating, dastardly witch who, may I remind you, wins _every single challenge_ she participates in. If that girl makes it to the Merge, we're all goners."

Yoshi looked unconvinced. "We don't need Immunity to make it all the way to the finals."

Ed tapped his foot nervously. "Yes, but if Rosalina makes it past the Merge, we'll never, _ever_, be able to get rid of her. Ever."

Yoshi thought for a minute. "…You got me there… but it shouldn't matter as long as nobody finds out we're helping her."

"Yes, but if Rosalina scores Immunity every chance she gets in the game, there's no stopping her," Ed said.

"You're forgetting that Royal Survivor is an incredibly unpredictable game. I mean, if it wasn't, Rosalina wouldn't be a problem. I think we should do what we can, where we are, with what we have," Yoshi finalized.

"It would be a lot simpler with our Hidden Immunity Idols," Ed grumbled.

Ed: Yoshi doesn't seem to understand what a threat Rosalina is to our well-being. Or to everyone's well-being, for that matter.

Yoshi: I have a game plan. Whether the game changes or not, I will still have my plan. And now, I'm surer than ever that I'll be the Royal Survivor.

**Yacht, Redemption Challenge Part Three: Final Opportunity**

The five remaining redemptees, Toad, Luigi, Diddy, Mario, and Daisy crowded into five podiums. On each podium was a buzzer. Ben was standing next to a screen displaying each contestant's name and the number zero.

"Hello, remaining redemptees. This is your final chance to get back into this game as a Ravager. Ravagers will stay in the game for a total of three Tribals. At the third Tribal, they will secretly have a vote, and then they will join the tribe that was in said third Tribal.

"A Ravager's job is to ravage the gameplay. You will do as much as you can to mess up the other tribes. If a Tribe catches you, however, you will be evicted from the game. They will not know this; but they will try to capture you anyway. It's the nature of Royal Survivors, I guess.

"In this challenge, you will have to answer questions about previous episodes. Some of you will know more than others, so we will place handicaps as necessary. Toad, you will have a +3 bonus, Luigi, you will have a +2 bonus. Mario and Diddy, you will both have a +1 bonus. Daisy, you have been here the longest, giving you a -1 penalty.

"Each question is worth a point. Only one person can get said point, however, so the first person that answers wins. It's complicated, right? No sweat, It'll be over soon enough," Ben said.

"First question," Ben said. "This is an easy one. **How many people were in this game at the start?**"

Everyone quickly answered, **18**, but Daisy scored first.

**Daisy: 1**

"Next," Ben said. "**Who won the first Coin challenge?**"

Toad buzzed in quickly and said, "Rosalina."

**Daisy: 1**

**Toad: 1**

"**Who went to Tribal first?**"

Toad buzzed in again first, "Hero. I got voted out."

**Toad: 2**

**Daisy: 1**

"**Who represented the Fire tribe at the first Auction?**"

Mario buzzed in. "Luigi."

"Wrong," Ben said.

Daisy buzzed in. "_Wa_luigi."

**Toad: 2**

**Daisy: 2**

Mario stamped the ground. Daisy smiled.

"**When did Outcast go to Tribal?**"

Diddy buzzed in. "Was it… the second Tribal?"

"Wrong," Ben said.

Daisy buzzed in. "Never. It was a trick question."

**Daisy: 3**

**Toad: 2**

"**Who represented the Fire tribe in the second Auction?**"

Luigi buzzed in. "Bowser Jr."

**Daisy: 3**

**Toad: 2**

**Luigi: 1**

"We are over halfway through this quiz. Our current final scores, handicaps factors in, have Toad in first place with **5**, then Luigi with **3**, then Daisy with **2**, then Diddy and Mario with **1** each," Ben said. "Next question: **True or false: Outcast won the Double Elimination challenge**."

Daisy buzzed in. "True," she groaned.

**Daisy: 4**

**Toad: 2**

**Luigi: 1**

"Luigi and Daisy are now tied," Ben said. "**What did Rosalina give the Outcast tribe in Episode 6?**"

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. Daisy suddenly remembered and buzzed in. "Was it… a… curse, or something? I mean, I saw the bright lights and…"

"That is correct," Ben nodded. "And, in this game, that has more implications than just being a question. Use that information wisely, whoever makes it back into the game."

Daisy squealed and nodded rapidly.

**Daisy: 5**

**Toad: 2**

**Luigi: 1**

"Last question. This one is worth two points: **How many Idols are currently in play?**" Ben asked. "This is a tricky one."

The contestants thought for what seemed like hours.

Daisy mumbled to herself, trying to remember.

Daisy: I know Waluigi had one, because he played it at the last Tribal. But I dunno about the others.

"Hint: The Outcasts are in possession of the others," Ben said.

"Two?" Diddy guessed.

"Wrong," Ben said.

"One, then," Toad said.

"Wrong again," Ben said.

"…_Three?_" Daisy squeaked.

"Sorry, that's correct," Ben said. "Daisy, you have won the challenge!"

Daisy jumped up and down.

Luigi: Personally, I don't think it's fair that Daisy got back in _right_ after getting voted out, but… she could probably do a lot more damage than I could, anyway.

Toad: I really didn't want to be a Ravager anyway. I mean, I'm not a sore loser, but it's just not my thing.

Diddy: I guess there are other Redemption challenges, anyway. _Sigh…_

"I don't have anything for you guys," Ben motioned toward the others. "Better luck next time."

Daisy: I'll try not to mess with Toadette, but… I'll sure as hell  up Rosalina and Waluigi. Hopefully they'll be on the same tribe. That'll make my job easier.

**Dock, Redemption Challenge**

Jeff received a call from his radio. The contestants gathered around.

"Okay, the Ravager has been chosen," Jeff said. "You're just not allowed to know who it is. You'll head back to your respective camps. Bowser, since Inferno is down a member, you'll head back to their camp. Rosalina, you're going to come with me. There's still something I need to talk to you about."

The contestants, except Rosalina, boarded the boat and sailed off. After a few minutes, the yacht was at the dock. Jeff and Rosalina boarded the magnificent vessel.

**?**

Jeff led Rosalina to a dining hall. He popped the top off of a bottle of wine and poured her a glass.

"So tell me…" Rosalina said, taking a sip of wine. "Why am I here?"

"Coming back into this game, you must have a lot of questions," Jeff said. "And It's my duty to make the game for challenging for everyone else."

"Oh, so you're going to steal from the rich and give to the poor, aren't you," Rosalina grinned evilly. "Well… what is it that you have in mind?"

"I'm going to let you in on a secret," Jeff said. "There is going to be a _triple_ elimination next week. It is going to be an individual challenge, and a few people will be given Individual Immunity. If you or Bowser win the challenge, you will give the Immunity to someone else."

"…And why are you telling me this?" Rosalina asked.

"What you do with that information is up to you," Jeff said. "Keep in mind, though: If you don't rearrange what everyone thinks of you, you have no hope of winning Royal Survivor. You must gather friend—true friends—inside and outside of the Jury. That is all I will say on the matter."

Rosalina nodded, and took another sip of her wine. "Don't be a stranger, Jeff. I'll make sure I follow your advice."

"There's one more thing I have to take care of," Jeff said. "Which tribe do you want to merge with?"

Rosalina thought for a bit. "The Inferno tribe. I want to see my fellow Outcasts."

Jeff nodded. "As you like it."

**Inferno, Saturday**

The new Inferno tribe was: Bowser, Yoshi, Ed, Toadette, Waluigi, Bowser Jr, and later, as they found out, Rosalina. Not many were happy about their prospects.

Toadette: This game has screwed me over so many ways. I _cannot__believe_ that we're only a third done.

Ed: This game has evolved from a single dimension to about twelve. We have Toadette, Waluigi, and Bowser Jr, who are all scheming against us, Rosalina, who knows what the hell she'll do, and then I'm losing faith in my own judgment with Yoshi. I mean seriously? You're siding with Rosalina?

Waluigi: Don't worry. I have my own game plan. When things go down, I'll find a way to profit from it, even if it means aligning with Rosalina.

Bowser Jr: You're voted off of this game for a reason. Normally you _stay off_, _too!_ I guess the _only_ good thing about this whole process is I got my dad back, and he's going to side with me, for sure. But I'm still really peeved about how things have gone down.

Yoshi: I'll have to tread carefully around Rosalina. She'll freely manipulate me. I know, because that's what she's done to me in the past.

Bowser: It's _great_ to be back in this game, even if it means being back with Rosalina, and only God knows what she'll be up to. I'm not going to make myself such an easy target this time.

Rosalina: Try to understand: I'm in it to _win it_. I didn't really get that at first, but I'm going to have to _really_ change my image if I'm going to win that prize.

The Infernos wearily got back to work. Rosalina, just like she always did, directed traffic. She assigned jobs to everyone, including herself. The Infernos didn't like being assimilated, but they knew it was for the best.

Waluigi: I'm happy to _work_ for Rosalina, at the very least. She knows what she's doing.

"Hey," Rosalina asked Yoshi. "Who built the shelter?"

"Us, actually," Yoshi chuckled. "We rebuilt it after you burned it down."

"Hmm," Rosalina said. "Good job."

Rosalina started making finite adjustments to the shelter. Bowser Jr. and Waluigi started talking quietly to each other about their alliance.

"Listen," Bowser Jr. said. "You're not telling me everything you know."

"So you're mad about what went down at Tribal," Waluigi assumed. "I guess I can understand that. But, in all fairness, I didn't know they would go after you. I thought they would go after the Outcasts. They're the biggest threats in this whole operation."

"Yeah," Bowser Jr. said, "but you're missing the point. I didn't know that there was even going to be a _possibility_ that _anything_ like that would happen. I mean, come on. How Toadette managed to pull a stunt like that is beyond me. That was almost the end of the road for me. I'm not expendable, Waluigi. Remember that."

Waluigi chuckled, as if Bowser Jr. was just a little kid who had a lot to learn, which may or may not be true. "If you want advice, kid, ask for it. I'm here for you."

"No," Bowser Jr. persisted, "you're not."

"Fine, then. Have it your way. But the fact is, if we don't bring Toadette and Bowser into the equation, we're as good as sunk," Waluigi said.

"What, you mean bring them under your iron fist?" Bowser Jr. half-laughed. "You're joking. Toadette won't associate with either of us if she can help in, and you and I have both seen that she can has tricks up her sleeve. Bowser would be the only person able to convince her, and he's only going to listen to me, not you."

"You're misunderstanding the concept," Waluigi said.

"No, _you_ need to wake up and smell the roses, Waluigi," Bowser Jr. asserted. "You're just a player in this game like the rest of us. Any secret plan that you have, any tricks you have up your sleeve, won't get people not to vote for you when the time comes. And if you want protection, you're answering to _me_.

"It's time for me to take charge of this operation. And I swear, Waluigi. Unless you're a goody-two-shoes to me and the rest of the alliance, after I'm through with the Outcasts, I'm going after you next," Bowser Jr. finished.

Waluigi nodded. "Same here."

Waluigi: Bowser Jr… I can't blame him for not trusting me. I'm not a saint.

Bowser Jr: Waluigi has screwed me over too many times. He's too manipulative for my tastes. That why I dissolved the alliance.

**Champion, Saturday**

The Champions were a bit fed up with the game. They were all grumbling about how the challenge went.

Birdo: That was a bitter blow... I'm just glad we're not on the receiving end. I mean, having Rosalina in your tribe? Madness. Believe me, I know.

Funky: Zombie Survivors. Just what we needed. As if the game wasn't complicated enough.

Bro Mamma: Y'know, sometimes I wish this was just plain old Survivor. The strategy of the whole thing is _killing _me. There's just not enough hours in an average day to get everything done.

They all packed up and got back to work. Funky and Bro Mamma had finally fixed the shelter roof, so they went and gathered supplies for dinner. It was a rather uneventful evening after that.

It was one of their last quiet days.

**Inferno, Saturday**

Rosalina was trying to wrap up the activities at the end of the day. But Toadette didn't want to cooperate.

Toadette: …I was just irritated about the whole ordeal. Sue me. I don't like Rosalina, never will.

"Why won't you just find some more firewood?" Rosalina asked Toadette. "It's easy, and it's the last task of the day."

"We already have _plenty_," Toadette whined. "It's not like it won't be there tomorrow."

"We only have firewood for two nights," Rosalina argued. "If it rains, we won't be able to get firewood for three or four days. This is the best time to get some more of it."

"Then get it yourself," Toadette said. "It doesn't concern me. We just had a heavy rain before you came into this game. It won't rain until a few days from now, at least."

"It could rain at any time," Rosalina insisted. "I don't think it requires much effort to just find a few twigs."

Bowser Jr. watched the two girls go at it from afar.

Bowser Jr: I agreed with Rosalina on this one. I would've just gone and got the stupid firewood. Toadette was just arguing because she was mad that Rosalina was here in the first place.

"Look." Toadette was fed up. "Fire tribe members are the dominant force in this tribe! We control what goes on around here, not you!" Toadette was steaming mad at Rosalina. "If you don't _like_ it, go cry to your mom! Helluva good job she did raising you, screwball."

All fire in the vicinity instantly went out, and was replaced with a green flame. Rosalina's eyes flared with an eerie green glow. Toadette backed up.

Rosalina picked Toadette up and slammed her forcefully against a nearby tree, sending half a dozen coconuts to the ground.

"My mother," Rosalina hissed, "died when I was _nine… years… old_. Toadette, if you ever… _ever…_ question my authority in this tribe, you're headed for the abyss."

Rosalina was inches from Toadette's face. "The _Outcasts_ have the numbers in _this_ tribe, make no mistake of that. I'm letting you off easy, this time… but if you _ever_ insult me, belittle me, or back-talk me ever again, I'll show you what I'm _really_ made of. Don't push your luck. You'll need it."

Toadette was trembling. She nodded hastily.

Rosalina let Toadette down, and she slumped to the bottom of the tree. Rosalina dissolved in green flames and disappeared.

The fires nearby reverted back to their original color. Bowser Jr. chuckled nearby.

"You realize," he said, "that you've sealed your own fate in this game. Rosalina isn't the forgiving type."

Toadette didn't answer. She was shaking violently.

Bowser Jr: That was scary… even for a bystander. For a minute, I thought she might literally _blow up_ in Toadette's face. But, overall, Toadette had it coming. I'm just glad Rosalina didn't go light-show on our camp, like she did last time.

Ed: I saw Rosalina threaten Toadette… I was freaking out myself, a little.

Bowser: Junior told me what happened, and for the most part, I didn't care. Rosalina's actions weren't justified, true, but Toadette was a menace to the Fire tribe's sanity all throughout the game, or so I hear. She deserved it, I suppose.

**Champion, Sunday**

And so another day began, with the same hopes and prospects shining among all contestants.

Funky checked for Tree Mail, like he did every morning. To his surprise, there was actually some at hand.

_Bring your whole tribe_

_So you can decide_

_Who will leave and_

_Who'll stay for the ride._

He read the mail to his tribemates, and gathered them up for the challenge.

**Inferno, Sunday**

The Inferno tribe had woken up early. Toadette was still shaken up from yesterday, though.

Toadette: My prime goal is still to get rid of Rosalina. I underestimated her incredibly, though.

Rosalina: Toadette pissed me off yesterday. I hope I got it through her head that I don't tolerate that.

The Inferno tribe gathered around the fire. It was just before daylight, so it was cold and damp.

"Y'know," Toadette said, "I think we should tell each other why we're here."

Waluigi snorted. "Why do you care?"

"I just think it's a good idea," Toadette said. "Like a bonding exercise. And truthfully, I don't care, if you want to know, but I might after you tell me your story."

"Okay," Waluigi said. "My story is this: Once upon a time, the end."

Bowser Jr. snickered. Toadette glared at Waluigi.

"Fine," Waluigi said. "I need the money for funding. You know how millions upon millions of people die each year because of smoking? I'm thinking about inventing a steam-based cigarette. It'll still kill you a little bit, but it's something like 60% less toxic than a regular cigarette."

Bowser Jr. was next. "I'm not here the same reason as my dad… It's not that I don't care about my little brother, but the million coins will pay for a lot of pet projects I have. I breed Chain Chomps and stuff. I'm also here because I just want something to talk about with normal people. I'm not the best at starting a conversation, y'know?" 

Ed was next. "I'm in here… well mainly because my wife made me apply, heh-heh… but I'm here because, at about ten years old, my son, Jacob, got hit by a drunk driver on the side of the road. He died about two years ago because of injury complications. It just stuck me by surprise, and it kind of… well, made me who I am today. I can truly tell you now, that if you lose a child, you lose your soul. I'm half of what I was while Jacob was with us. I'm just no fun anymore."

The Inferno tribes paused, thinking about this. They offered their condolences to Ed.

Next: Yoshi. "I want to win the money to help support Birdo. We figured that if we both got in, one of us would win the game. Currently my parents are watching over the kids, probably spoiling them rotten… but I think that I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'm enjoying the heck out of this game.

"I mean, think about it! Out of the billions of people, Toads, Koopas, Yoshis, and others that live in the Darklands and the Mushroom Kingdom and the chain of Yoshi Islands, _we_ were picked to be a part of this! I would've never _dreamed _of making it this far into the game. It's insane. I was ecstatic just to get into the game in the first place. Going through it all, the drama, the challenges, the Merge, it's just an experience that almost no one else gets to do in the entire _world_. I'm more excited about being here than probably all of you put together." Yoshi looked around. "And… I can see I'm losing you."

The Inferno members snapped back into focus. Toadette yawned. Yoshi chuckled, embarrassed.

Since Rosalina and Bowser had already told their stories, Toadette was the last one that had a tale to tell.

"The family business, it's sinking. I mean, I don't really want to be here, but I was chosen, so I've tried to make the best of it. I'm just trying to win the million," Toadette insisted. "I'm not the most likable person, I know, but I've tried my hardest to stay in this game. It might not have looked like it at first, but I had a game plan from the very start. And if I win that million, It'll go straight to my mom's business, no questions asked."

"What's your family business?" Bowser asked.

"We own a bakery," Toadette clarified. "We're in debt because of expansions we made lately. We're not sinking, but we're going to stay in debt for thirty or forty years or so if we don't manage to get a racket going. That's why I'm here. I know it's not the best reason in the world, but I'm going to fight just as hard as anyone else to get into the final. Count on it."

The Infernos nodded. Shortly after the conversation was finished, the Tree Mail arrived. The Infernos went off to compete in the challenge.

**?**

The challenge grounds were in the middle of a dense forest. It was more or less a hiking path; a crossroads at which both Jeff and Ben stood. A sign covered with a tarp stood behind them.

"Rule of thumb," Ben told the fourteen contestants. "When both Jeff and I are here, it's going to be a big challenge. Just something to keep in mind."

"Here's how today's challenge works," Jeff said. "It's called a Banishment challenge. Before you ask: No, it doesn't involve the Lone Island. That'll be in a week or two. Anyway, you will be asked a series of yes-or-no questions by signs.

"If your answer to the question is yes, go left. If the answer to your question is no, go right. You will answer up to four questions," Jeff continued. "At the end of the path, you will receive a gift that will impact you in the upcoming vote, depending on your choices.

"Some of the gifts are unlimited, but some are. Choose wisely," Jeff finished.

"Also…" Ben began. "Just in case you get tired… there's a rest stop at every sign. Take it and observe your opponent's choices. Remember there's no stopping you from lying in this game, just that it doesn't always pay off, got it? A lot of the upcoming challenges are information-based, so be sure to keep track of what goes down."

"First question," Jeff said as he unveiled the first sign.

It read:

**Do you have a Hidden Immunity Idol?**

"You may start when ready," Jeff said.

The contestants hesitated.

Funky: We were stuck. If we said yes, everyone would know we had an Idol, if we said no, everyone would know we didn't.

Wario: He said we could lie. I guess I would, because then everyone would fear me a little bit more.

Wario went to the left, which meant he had said yes.

Peach looked on, worried.

Peach: There's no doubt in my mind that Wario could've gotten an Idol. But how? Or was he just lying? Arrgh, brain hurts…

Peach followed Wario. The rest of the contestants soon spread about the path.

**Wario**

Wario was the first to leave, so we will chronicle him first.

He ducked left at first, then ran along the path for a few minutes before coming to another sign.

It read:

**Are you going to use it soon?**

Wario was confused for a minute before he realized that it was referring to the last question.

Wario noticed that there was a pitcher of lemonade with plastic cups by the sign, but didn't want to waste time.

Wario went to the right, which meant he wouldn't use it soon. He was safe enough already, and even though his alliance didn't entirely trust him, he was safe for the time being.

Wario soon reached the second sign. A few cake slices awaited him, and he eagerly snatched one up.

Wario: I knew it was a distraction. But hey, I haven't had a snack for a week or two. It drives me a bit nuts.

While he was eating, he read the sign.

**Are you in an alliance?**

Wario studied the sign. He heard a rustling, and soon Bowser Jr. appeared out of the bushes.

"Cake?" Wario offered. Bowser Jr. nodded and took a slice.

"You look exhausted," Wario remarked.

"Tough… challenge…" Bowser Jr. panted through his bites.

Wario nodded and continued on to the left.

The third path was the shortest of all of them. Wario made it to the next post in under a minute. At the base of this post was a pot of fondue with a loaf of bread on the side. Wario couldn't resist the temptation to indulge himself.

Wario: Yeah… I went a little nuts there.

When the fondue was finally gone, Wario looked up at the sign.

**Are you worried?**

"How could I be worried with such great food everywhere?" Wario laughed. He went to the right.

The last path wasn't considerably long, but wasn't short, either. At the end of the road, he met DK and Waluigi.

"Where's the treasure?" Wario asked. Waluigi shrugged.

"You missed it. We made the wrong choices, so we get nothing," Waluigi said.

"Wait, so those were yes-or-no answers?" Wario was fuming.

"Nah, it's just that we really didn't need anything," Waluigi said. "No turning back, buddy. We're stuck here until the challenge ends."

**Toadette**

Toadette had gone to the left along with Wario. She ran after him, trying to catch up, because she didn't want to be the last one to get the gift.

However, it was too late. By the time she had gotten to the second sign, Wario was not only out of sight, but Toadette was physically spent. She went and drank a cup of lemonade to recharge, then read the sign:

**Are you going to use it soon?**

Toadette said yes, and pushed onward.

Toadette: I said yes because I wanted to play this challenge honestly. Let's face it, I'm one of the most targeted people in the Inferno tribe.

Toadette soon pushed on to the second sign, under which a fruit cup with silverware stood. She took a few bites but resisted to take any more. She read the sign.

**Are you safe?**

Toadette raised an eyebrow. Didn't they sum that up in the last question?

Toadette put the fruit cup down and continued on the path. It seemed like it would never end, but eventually it did.

At the end of the path, Ben was waiting for her.

"Congrats, Toadette," he said. "You have won Immunity."

**DK**

DK went to the right, soon after Toadette went left, which meant he was saying he didn't have an Idol. He didn't anyway.

DK, who had boundless stamina, careened through the track like nobody's business. He managed to get tangled in a vine, and someone passed him up in that time, but otherwise he did fine.

He made it to the second sign in no time at all.

It read:

**Do you want one?**

DK was confused for a minute before he realized that this question was referring to the last one. DK grabbed a sugar cookie from a nearby table and went left, eating it along the way.

DK: They sure know how to stock these challenges. I'm not a big fan of cookies, but that was pretty dang good.

DK saw Bowser Jr. leaving the outpost almost as soon as he arrived. DK read the sign.

**Are you in an alliance?**

"Yeah… no," DK said. What alliance he had was rapidly falling apart. Peach wasn't really a help anymore.

DK heard Peach careening through the bushes. She stopped at the sign and almost fell over.

"Peach: Zero to sixty in seconds," DK muttered. "You've seen Wario?"

"I was hoping you might have," Peach gasped. She sat down on the ground, trying to catch her breath.

"Keep an eye out. We really don't know where he's headed," DK said.

Peach nodded. DK continued on to the right. There really was no alliance now, just two friends who may or may not help each other out.

The third path was the shortest one. At the end of it, there was another sign, and another crossroads. There was a bushel of bananas at the base of the sign, but DK wasn't that hungry.

**Are you confused?**

"About what?" DK wondered aloud. About Royal Survivor? About his tribe? About life? About this challenge?

DK realized that he was pretty much confused about all of those, so he went to the left.

At the end of the road, he met nothing. Zip. Zilch.

DK ended the challenge with nothing.

**Waluigi**

Waluigi went right very soon after DK. Waluigi was following for the most part, but lost him shortly before the sign. Panting, he read it.

**Do you want one?**

Waluigi decided he might as well wait at the table with the cookies until he got his wind back. He saw three people in that time: Bowser Jr, Peach, and Funky Kong. Peach, Funky, and Bowser Jr. all went to the left.

Waluigi picked up his pace and headed left, following Funky.

When he finally made it to the sign, he saw Peach wheezing at the base of it.

"You look tired," he remarked. "Remember to pace yourself."

"Thanks for that," Peach breathed. "What does the sign say?"

"Hmm… **Are you in an alliance?**" Waluigi said.

Peach lazily got up and trudged on to the left. Waluigi jogged past her.

The third path was the shortest of all. At the end of it, he saw Wario gorging himself with yellow goo inside some big pot. Deciding he'd rather live than try and get some, Waluigi looked up at the sign.

**Are you worried?**

Waluigi: I have everything under control. What's to be worried about?

Waluigi continued on to the right. At the end of the road, he saw DK sitting against a nearby tree.

"Do we end this game with a bang, or what?" Waluigi asked him.

DK shook his head. "This is all there is. I've asked."

Waluigi nodded and sat down. He ended this challenge with nothing.

**Bowser Jr.**

Bowser Jr. had gone right moments after Waluigi. Bowser Jr. struggled to follow the path, as he wasn't the best runner or hiker. He briefly looked at the sign—**Do you want one?**—and Waluigi before continuing on to the left.

He noticed DK had got tangled up in a vine, and considered helping him, but decided not to. DK was a dangerous competitor.

He took a breather at the second sign post, which Wario was already at.

"Cake?" Wario offered. Bowser Jr. nodded and took a slice.

"You look exhausted," Wario remarked.

"Tough… challenge…" Bowser Jr. panted through his bites. He soon realized that although tasty, the cake was a distraction. He threw it aside.

Wario continued on to the left. Bowser Jr. looked at the sign.

**Are you in an alliance?**

Bowser Jr. considered going right, but decided not to. He was in an alliance, one way or another.

At the next signpost, he saw Wario gulping down some yellow goo out of a pot. Deciding he'd rather live, he looked up at the next sign.

**Are you worried?**

Bowser Jr. nodded. He had pretty much worried about every little detail about this game even up until this point. You could safely say he was a bit worried.

Bowser Jr. continued on the path until its end. There was a final sign:

**Take this, so you can breath easy.**

At the base of the sign, there were three necklaces with big (**-1)** signs on them. Bowser Jr. decided he'd best put it one on.

**Peach**

Peach had gone right along with Waluigi, and saw him lazily snacking on an oatmeal-raisin cookie when she got to the second sign. Peach looked at Waluigi. He shrugged.

The second sign read:

**Do you want one?**

Peach looked at Waluigi suspiciously, but then continued on to the left at full blast.

She almost toppled over when she got to the second sign. She barely noticed that DK was already there.

"You've seen Wario?" DK asked.

"I was hoping you might have," Peach gasped. She sat down on the ground, trying to catch her breath.

"Keep an eye out. We really don't know where he's headed," DK said. He continued on to the right.

While Peach was trying to catch her breath, Waluigi came up to the second sign.

"You look tired," he remarked. "Remember to pace yourself."

"Thanks for that," Peach breathed. "What does the sign say?"

"Hmm… **Are you in an alliance?**" Waluigi said.

Peach lazily got up and trudged on to the left. Waluigi jogged past her.

Peach took a while to get to the next sign, but she did eventually made it. She saw Wario devouring a yellow glop from inside a giant pot. Deciding she'd rather live, Peach looked up at the sign.

**Are you worried?**

Peach thought for a minute, which was hard over the disgusting noises. She knew her time in this game was dwindling fast, but she really hadn't thought about it before.

Peach closed her eyes and alternately pointed at the different pathways. "_Eenie-miene-miney-moe…_"

She eventually decided to go left. At the end of the road, she saw the sign, and Bowser Jr.

"Take one." Bowser Jr. motioned to the sign.

Peach put on the (**-1**) necklace, then examined herself. "This is _so_ not my color."

**Funky**

Funky went to the right a few minutes after Bowser Jr. had, seeing that no one else was going.

He followed the path. He didn't have a very good stamina, but he paced himself, so he didn't get tired. However, Ed passed him early into the challenge. Funky didn't let it faze him as he continued onward.

**Do you want one?**

Funky read the sign carefully and decided his course. An Idol would help him against Wario, he supposed… what the heck? Then Funky noticed Waluigi, grinning at him eerily. Waiting for him to make a decision.

"Creeper," Funky muttered before continuing on to the left.

He saw Peach gasping for breath at the second signpost, but she didn't seem to notice him. He didn't want to waste time, so he read the second signpost.

**Are you in an alliance?**

Funky shook his head and continued on to the right.

Funky: I'm going to try and get rid of Wario as soon as I possibly can. So no, I guess we're not in an alliance… I _guess_.

He continued along the path. He got to the third sign, which had assorted candies under it. He took a handful and read the sign.

**Are you confused?**

Funky though about this. "I suppose I'm not _really_ confused…"

Funky made up his mind and went to the right. When he got to the end of the path, though, he was greeted with another sign.

**Here, we'll make everything more confusing for you.**

There were three necklaces with a big (**+1)** on each of them. He put one on, wondering what they meant.

**Ed**

Ed left to the right soon after Funky Kong. He passed Funky on the way, but didn't spare him a glance. It didn't matter to Ed; he was too focused on winning.

**Do you want one?**

Ed tried to decide carefully. He knew that Funky was gaining on him, and he didn't want to waste time. Ed wanted the Idol so that he could sleep at night, so he went to the left.

Ed fell down a small hill during his trek, and Funky might have passed him at that point. It took him a few minutes to get back up.

Once he was finally back on the path, Yoshi came up next to him.

"Who's still at the gate?" Ed asked Yoshi mid-jog.

"Rosalina, Bro Mamma, and Bowser," Yoshi said. "I'm not sure what Rosalina's doing. Doesn't she want Immunity?"

"Rosalina always has a plan," Ed said. "She'll get Immunity one way or another."

"Then… where does that leave us?" Yoshi asked.

"Struggling not to get eliminated," Ed said. "I like having her back already."

"Hey, there's no need to be sarcastic. As long as we're with Rosalina, there's basically no way we can get eliminated," Yoshi argued.

Ed nodded. "You go on ahead. I need a break."

Yoshi shrugged. "Suit yourself." Yoshi continued on the path, leaving Ed behind.

Ed finally made it to the second sign. There were a couple cake slices left, so he took one and read the sign.

**Are you in an alliance?**

"If I weren't, I wouldn't be in this mess," Ed muttered. He heard Bowser coming up behind him.

"Hey, man," Ed said. "Looks like we're near last place."

"How can you tell?" Bowser asked Ed.

"There were a lot more than two cake slices here at the start," Ed said. "Six or seven people already passed through here."

"Better not waste time then," Bowser growled. "Godspeed, man. Don't waste time indulging yourself."

"It's good cake," Ed muttered before setting his plate down and continuing to the left.

The third path was the shortest of all. At the end of it, he saw Wario stuffing himself silly with fondue. Ed decided he'd rather live, and read the sign.

**Are you worried?**

"Obviously," Ed muttered. He had been worrying all day and night for the past week or two. Ed continued on to the left.

At the end of the path, he saw Peach, Yoshi, and Bowser Jr, each with a **-1** necklace around their necks. Ed realized that there were none left for him. He sighed and took a well-deserved break.

**Birdo**

Birdo recorded the directions of each of the Royal Survivors before continuing to the right.

Birdo tired out quickly on the path. Yoshi, Bro Mamma, and Bowser all passed her.

While she was jogging, Birdo heard a rustle. Suddenly, she was pushed to the ground by a rush of air. She didn't know what from, and she didn't want to worry about it. Birdo continued on to the next sign.

The sign read:

**Do you want one?**

Birdo thought about this. She took a chocolate chip cookie from the table and tried to decide what she really wanted out of this game.

Did she want a load of strategic rubbish, an insane amount of worries, and a tough burden on her shoulders when she had to consider who stays and who goes? Or did she just want to play the game, having fun in the process?

Eventually, Birdo decided to go to the right. She didn't want an Idol. They made life too complicated.

Birdo made her way to the next sign in five minutes or so.

It read:

**Are you safe?**

Birdo: I'm safe, as long as Wario doesn't pull anything soon, but I don't _feel_ safe. So I went according to my instincts.

Birdo went to the right. It was a long journey to the next outpost, maybe fifteen minutes.

But when she got there, she saw the most shocking thing since sliced bread.

**Yoshi**

Yoshi looked at who remained at the starting gate. Bro Mamma, Bowser, and Rosalina. They all looked at each other, anticipating a move.

Yoshi ducked onto the path at the right. No, he didn't have an Idol. Yes, if all went well, he would have one soon.

Yoshi quickly passed Birdo on the path, saying 'Hi' to her as he went on his way. He made it to the second sign with ease.

**Do you want one?**

Yes, of course. Yoshi eagerly went along the left path.

He met Ed along the pathway, and they started conversation.

"Who's still at the gate?" Ed asked Yoshi mid-jog.

"Rosalina, Bro Mamma, and Bowser," Yoshi said. "I'm not sure what Rosalina's doing. Doesn't she want Immunity?"

"Rosalina always has a plan," Ed said. "She'll get Immunity one way or another."

"Then… where does that leave us?" Yoshi asked.

"Struggling not to get eliminated," Ed said. "I like having her back already."

"Hey, there's no need to be sarcastic. As long as we're with Rosalina, there's basically no way we can get eliminated," Yoshi argued.

Ed nodded. "You go on ahead. I need a break."

Yoshi shrugged. "Suit yourself." Yoshi continued on the path, leaving Ed behind.

Yoshi quickly got to the next post.

The sign read:

**Are you in an alliance?**

"An alliance to change the course of Royal Survivor!" Yoshi said excitedly. He continued on to the left.

Yoshi saw Wario indulging himself with some strange alien food at the next sign. Yoshi really wanted to try some, but he didn't want to waste time like Wario was.

The next sign read:

**Are you worried?**

Yoshi thought. He thought hard. He really needed to think about Rosalina, watch her every move. That in itself was a lot to worry about. Yoshi went to the left.

At the end of the line, there was one (**-1)** necklace left. He put it on, wondering if it was a gift or a curse.

**Bro Mamma**

There were only three left to go. Bowser and Bro Mamma nodded to each other. They both started along the right path.

Bowser quickly fell behind Bro Mamma, and she also passed Birdo along the way. Bro Mamma thought about who went which way.

Waluigi, Bowser Jr, Ed, Yoshi, Bowser, DK, Peach, Funky, Birdo, and herself had all said that they didn't have an Idol. Wario and Toadette were the only ones who had went left. If Wario really did have an Idol by some means, it was trouble. Big trouble.

**Do you want one?**

"Of course not," Bro Mamma muttered. All Idols brought to a tribe was corruption. There was nothing to be gained with possessing one.

Bro Mamma, wasting no time, went to the right.

Midway to the next post, Bro Mamma was hit with a powerful gust of wind. She had no idea what it was from, but it didn't matter. She kept her eyes on the prize.

Bro Mamma soon came to the second sign, which had a bunch of mints under it. Bro Mamma took one and looked at the sign.

It read:

**Are you safe?**

Bro Mamma though about this. She did have a big target on her back because of her performance in challenges, but that didn't really compare to adeptness at strategy…

Overall, she decided she wasn't in danger, but she wasn't really that safe, either.

The last path was the longest, but Bro Mamma conquered in it no time at all.

Of course, she wasn't really ready to handle what happened next.

**Bowser**

Bowser, who had gone to the right, quickly fell behind Bro Mamma. He passed Birdo and advanced to the second sign in no time at all.

**Do you want one?**

Bowser thought. He knew what Idols could do in a game. He didn't want to be left behind. As much as he despised the evil nature that Idols carried with them, the benefits greatly outweighed the drawbacks. Bowser started to head to the left, but before he could, a gust of wind nearly blew him over.

Bowser wondered what that could have been, but he wasted no time in continuing on to the left.

He met Ed at the second signpost.

"Hey, man," Ed said. "Looks like we're near last place."

"How can you tell?" Bowser asked Ed.

"There were a lot more than two cake slices here at the start," Ed said. "Six or seven people already passed through here."

"Better not waste time then," Bowser growled. "Godspeed, man. Don't waste time indulging yourself."

"It's good cake," Ed muttered before setting his plate down and continuing to the left.

Bowser looked at the sign. Was he in an alliance? No, he had just got back into the game. He couldn't possibly have an alliance.

Bowser continued on to the right. He saw the last sign and didn't pay any attention to the treats.

**Are you confused?**

Bowser: Why would I have been confused?

Bowser went to the right. At the end of the road, he saw Funky Kong and the (**+1)** necklaces. Bowser ended the challenge with an ambiguous prize.

**Rosalina**

Everyone had gone. Everyone.

Of all of the people who had gone, Toadette and Wario were the only ones who had gone left at the first junction.

Rosalina: I was wondering if there was a shortage of Idols or something. I find it incredibly hard to believe that only two people would have Idols. But oh well.

Rosalina began storing energy in the palms of her hands. The surrounding area took on a greenish tint.

Suddenly, Rosalina shot through the wilderness. A huge jet stream followed behind her. She read each sign instantaneously and rocketed on to her choices.

**Do you have an Idol?**

No.

**Do you want one?**

No. _Lie_. Idols were everything.

**Are you safe?**

No. _Lie._ Well, it would be after she finished this challenge.

Rosalina knew there was a pattern in this game. She also knew where everything would be.

Jeff was waiting for Rosalina as she gracefully landed.

"Congrats, Rosalina. A ten-point landing, I might add," Jeff said.

Rosalina curtsied. "Thanks you."

"You have won Immunity," Jeff said.

Birdo and Bro Mamma gaped when they came in shortly and saw Rosalina wearing the Individual Immunity necklace.

"How… How the _ is that even possible?" Bro Mamma gawked.

"Possible like this: I'm Wonder Woman," Rosalina laughed. "Better luck next time, sport."

Birdo wasn't fuming, but wasn't completely calm, either.

Birdo: It wasn't like I was going to blow a fuse, but I was a little upset that Rosalina didn't even give us a fighting chance.

"This challenge," Jeff said, "Is over."

**Banishment Hall**

Jeff and Ben led the contestants into a small structure off the coast of the island. It was a bamboo structure with a large dining hall in the center.

Jeff and Ben sat at the ends of the table. The others sat where they saw fit.

"Welcome to Banishment Hall," Jeff said. "Here you will decide the course of the game to come.

"Our first order of business is Immunity and the necklaces. Toadette and Rosalina won Individual Immunity. Since Rosalina already has Immunity, she will have to give the Immunity necklace to a person in this room of her choosing," Jeff said.

Rosalina looked around the room. "I guess I might as well give it to Bowser Jr, as to immunize over half the people in my tribe."

Jeff nodded. "It is done. Bowser Jr. now has Immunity until after Tribal tonight. And I might add, this is one of the most important nights to have Immunity. The three people with the highest number of votes will be going home. Also, everyone here, except Ben and I, will submit a vote. You may vote for someone that is not inside your tribe, in fact, it is recommended."

"Second order of business," Ben said. "Those stylish necklaces you have there. If you have a (**-1)**, the first vote against you will not count. That goes for Yoshi, Peach, and Ed. Bowser Jr. now has Immunity, so the right thing to do is to give it to the next person in line, a.k.a. Ed. As for Funky… sorry, bro, but you'll automatically have one vote tonight, making you an easier target."

"If you have nothing, you have nothing," Jeff said. "And, just like any other Tribal, you may play a Hidden Immunity Idol, have you one present. You have until after dinner to plan your voting strategy. I suggest you start now."

Upon Jeff saying _now_, waiters started carrying uniform plates composed of creamy mashed potatoes, tantalizing steak, and golden corn. The contestant switched seats as necessary to be within their alliance, then chowed down.

"What should we do, Rosalina?" Yoshi asked. "I really want to get rid of Waluigi, before he becomes a problem."

"But first, we need to talk about how safe you are," Rosalina said. "I gave the Immunity to Bowser Jr. so that they wouldn't suspect I was aligned with you. But if they target you, there is nothing I can do to protect you."

Ed nodded. "We'll be fine. Waluigi and the others don't even suspect us, and Bowser Jr. can be manipulated. What we really need to worry about is the Champions targeting either me or Yoshi. They would have strength of numbers then."

Just then, Wario came over and tapped Rosalina on the shoulder. "Beg your pardon, miss."

"Speak," Rosalina commanded.

"I noticed you're in a bit of a fix," Wario said. "I have three Champions ready to vote with me. If you guys vote for DK, I can make sure they keep you out of harm's way."

"Who would you vote for, then?" Rosalina asked.

"My business is my business," Wario said. "Keep your nose out of it. All you need to know is that Ed and Yoshi are safe from me. Unless… you decide I'm not trustworthy enough. In that case, I might as well pick you off one by one."

Rosalina grinned evilly. "I like your style. Fine. I'll vote for DK. Don't get me mad, though. You have no idea what I can do to you."

Wario smirked. "We'll see 'bout that."

Wario went back to his group of Birdo, Bro Mamma, and Funky. "They're voting for DK. All we need to do is pick off Peach."

The others nodded. Then they went back to eating.

Wario: You'd be surprised how easy that was. I mean, _super_ easy. Like taking candy from a baby, if you please. I'm actually looking forward to the big vote.

Peach, DK, Toadette, and Bowser Jr. met and discussed their game plan.

"We need to get rid of Wario as fast as we possibly can," DK said.

"No," Bowser Jr. said. "Waluigi is tons more dangerous. He's not as predictable, either. If we can get info on Wario, we can easily predict his actions. It's not as easy with Waluigi."

"I disagree," Peach said. "We should get rid of either Yoshi or Ed. They're the most dangerous."

"What about Funky Kong? He's won the most challenges so far in the Champion tribe," Toadette suggested.

"No, I agree with Bowser Jr. Waluigi is the person we should go for," DK said. Peach and Toadette reluctantly agreed.

Dinner was finished.

"Time to vote," Jeff said. "This decision will impact the game for awhile to come."

Ben handed out the ballots, and collected them when everyone was done.

Waluigi wrote down Yoshi's name.

Waluigi: I can only hope I live to fight another day.

Bowser wrote down Yoshi's name.

Bowser: I know what you are capable of. You are too suspicious for me to allow you to stay in the tribe. I hope the others have realized this, too. I mean, come _on_. Everyone saw you making an alliance with Rosalina on the bubble. We _know_. You're an idiot for thinking we don't.

Rosalina wrote down DK's name.

Rosalina: For now, the situation is out of my control. But I will deal out vengeance as needed. Wario better not have double-crossed me, or else there will be dire consequences. I love saying that so much.

Ben handed the ballot case to Jeff.

"Once the votes are tallied, the decision is final," Jeff said. "If anyone would like to play a Hidden Immunity Idol… now is the time."

Toadette raised her hand. Rosalina's eyes flared when she saw Toadette grin.

"I'm going to favor the lesser of two evils, this time," Toadette said. "I'm giving this baby to Waluigi. You owe me."

Jeff took the Idol and examined it. "This is, in fact, a Hidden Immunity Idol. Any votes against Waluigi will not count."

DK, Peach, and Bowser Jr. glared at Toadette.

Peach: I cannot _believe_ Toadette threw us under the bus like that. And on such an important day, too!

Bowser Jr: Where does that girl keep getting her ideas? She had _better _not have done anything stupid, or else there will be a _big_ brawl tomorrow.

Ed: There's no doubt in my mind she was using one of the Idols we had lost the other day. She's a clever little devil, and I know exactly who she's targeting.

Jeff started tallying the votes.

"First vote: Yoshi," Jeff said. "Does not count. Second vote: Yoshi. Third vote: Waluigi. Does not count. Fourth vote: DK. Fifth vote: DK. Vote six: Yoshi. Vote seven: DK. Vote eight: Waluigi. Does not count.

"So far, we have one vote on Yoshi, and four votes on DK," Jeff said.

At this point, both DK and Yoshi knew they were goners.

Yoshi: The first time Toadette surprised me, I thought it would never happen again. The second time it happened… I went home. I mean, one vote is enough. I'd need at least four more votes to be on different people to make sure I didn't go home, and that wouldn't happen at that point.

"Vote nine: Waluigi. Does not count. Vote ten: Peach. Does not count. Vote eleven: Peach. Vote twelve: Peach. Final vote: Peach," Jeff finished. "The final tally is: One vote Yoshi, two votes Peach, and four votes DK. I'm sorry to say that you are all going home. Royal Survivor has spoken."

Yoshi, Peach, and DK all got up to say their goodbyes, then they were escorted out of the chamber.

DK: It sucks, man. It really does. But there's no sense in moping about it. I'll be back in the next Redemption Challenge. Count on it.

Peach: I _really_, reallyreallyreallyreally wanted to make it farther than I did. Wario managed to get rid of his _whole tribe_, the people who were supposed to have his _back_. I hope he's happy.

Yoshi: If Rosalina doesn't beat Toadette to the ground after this elimination, then I'm going to kick myself in the nuts for making the wrong choices. Toadette blindsided us not once, but _twice_! I hope no one disregards her from here on out.

"You have been in this game for a total of four weeks," Jeff said. "Now, out of a starting total of eighteen, only ten remain in this game. Proceed with caution. It only gets harder from here."

Jeff dismissed the Royal Survivors. They went home, some ecstatic, some upset.

Waluigi: I owe Toadette my career in this game. You really don't take something like that lightly.

Ed: Rosalina is pretty much my only friend in this game now… which is pretty sad, when you think about it.

Rosalina: Toadette is now a threat to our survival. Problem is, the numbers are tied. We're going to have to think of something, and fast.

Toadette: Go on. Try and beat me at this game. I dare you. Really, it can't get any harder for me than it already is, so good luck trying to increase the difficulty. I knew that Waluigi would've gotten more votes than Yoshi. It wasn't hard to figure out.

Wario: I am the only surviving Hero member that hasn't been voted out. Which I guess makes me… the Villain. Heh-heh.

Bowser: Toadette is emerging as a fantastic player of this game. I will align with her as soon as I possibly can.

Birdo: No one's safe anymore. If Rosalina couldn't protect one of her greatest supporters, maybe she isn't so powerful after all.

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_The Ravager creates havoc in the Inferno tribe._

Suddenly, two supports snapped. The shelter teetered at an irregular angle.

"Don't just stand there, grab the vines!" Rosalina yelled. "Quickly, or we'll never be able to use this thing again!"

_Wario is backstabbed by his own alliance…_

"We just don't need you anymore, Wario," Funky said. "We have the numbers. You're obsolete."

"Good for you. Have a cake to celebrate," Wario said sarcastically.

…_which proves disastrous for them in the long run._

Wario found an Idol hidden under the table. He quickly took it and hid it in his back pocket.

Wario: Once again, an Idol saves the day.

_And the Inferno tribe finally splits at the seams._

"YOU TAKE YOUR LITTLE _ ATTITUDE WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO _ LISTEN TO IT ANYMORE!" Toadette screamed.

"Oh, you're kicking me out?" Rosalina cooed. "How sweet. Well, you listen to _me_, Toadette! You want to see me with an attitude? _Here's my attitude!_"

The entire area lit up with green flames. Dark energy coursed into Toadette, who writhed as if she was being possessed.

Bowser Jr: Whatever horrible, terrible, atrocious thing Rosalina did to Toadette… she deserved it.

Waluigi: I'm happy to be back in this game, but… I don't want to align with someone who makes Rosalina so _angry _all the time.

Ed: If I had to choose between Toadette and Rosalina winning this game… I'm not so sure about the answer as I was before Toadette exploded. Metaphorically, of course.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


	13. Episode Ten

**I am working on a personal project that does not involve Fanfiction, so forgive me if this chapter is a bit rushed. I shall not update frequently until my project is finished. I hope that you shall be satisfied with this for now. However, feel free to pressure me into updating. That is what reviews and private messaging is made for!**

_**Previously on Royal Survivor…**_

_The Redemption Challenge leaves everyone on the brink of insanity with not only Bowser, but Rosalina back in the game as well…_

Peach: It's _soooo_ exciting to have BowBow back! He's my favorite of the contestants.

Yoshi: Trying to manipulate Rosalina is like trying to lasso Cerberus. It's a narrow path I have to travel to avoid being voted out at Tribal or not being selected as Royal Survivor.

Rosalina: I'm _back!_ Hee hee! Did you miss me? Of course not. I'm the devil.

Toadette: There's a lot of strategy going around now that Rosalina and Bowser are back in the game. But what has me worried the most is what Ben said.

"Also… a word of warning. We can't just bring three contestants back into the game without some consequence or another. I mean, the game would last forever, you get me?" Ben said.

_And at the Banishment Challenge, Rosalina proves once and for all that she is a force to be reckoned with…_

Birdo and Bro Mamma gaped when they came in shortly and saw Rosalina wearing the Individual Immunity necklace.

"How… How the _ is that even possible?" Bro Mamma gawked.

…_and even before that, some people question the current structure of their alliance._

Bowser Jr: I'm caught in a loophole. I mean, what am I going to do to prevent Rosalina backstabbing me, too?

Yoshi: The way I see it, I'll only be the Royal Survivor if I get both Wario and Rosalina into the finale with me, without the others finding out that I helped them get there.

_And once again, Toadette blindsides the others…_

"I'm going to favor the lesser of two evils, this time," Toadette said. "I'm giving this baby to Waluigi. You owe me."

Ed: There's no doubt in my mind she was using one of the Idols we had lost the other day. She's a clever little devil, and I know exactly who she's targeting.

…_saving Waluigi, but sending Yoshi home._

Yoshi: The first time Toadette surprised me, I thought it would never happen again. The second time it happened… I went home. I mean, one vote is enough. I'd need at least four more votes to be on different people to make sure I didn't go home, and that wouldn't happen at that point.

_And, at the end of the day, Wario is the only remaining Hero member that wasn't voted out._

DK: It sucks, man. It really does. But there's no sense in moping about it. I'll be back in the next Redemption Challenge. Count on it.

Peach: I _really_, reallyreallyreallyreally wanted to make it farther than I did. Wario managed to get rid of his _whole tribe_, the people who were supposed to have his _back_. I hope he's happy.

Wario: I am the only surviving Hero member that hasn't been voted out. Which I guess makes me… the Villain. Heh-heh.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_

It didn't end at Banishment Hall, much to the players' surprise.

Ben met them outside.

"Oh, you thought it ended here?" he laughed. "Well, that wouldn't be very neighborly of us, now would it?"

The contestants were blindfolded and lead onto a boat.

**?**

Toadette: I am, literally, _freaking out_. I mean, where, what, who, when _why?_

Waluigi: If this involves _anything_ about challenges or redemption or whatnot, I _swear_…

Rosalina: Sure, yeah, maybe it's another Redemption Challenge or Banishment Challenge, but why is everyone worrying? Hell, if you've made it this far into the game without being voted for like Ed, why do you need to worry about _anything?_

Ed: I am _so, incredibly_ worried. What's in for us now?

The contestants were lead into a building. They were sat down and un-blindfolded.

Jeff was sitting at a round table. It was night now, and the room was open to the breeze.

"Welcome, Survivors," Jeff said. "Welcome to the Reward."

The contestants looked at him.

"No, I didn't misspeak. This isn't a Reward _Challenge_. This is, simply put, your reward for making it this far into the game. There are only eight _true_ Royal Survivors in this room; the others will have to prove their worth throughout the course of the game. But what am I talking about? Relax. There is nothing to worry about in this room."

That only made the contestants more anxious. Some looked outside the room.

"Oh, please, guys," Ben said. "If it was a challenge, Jeff would already be blabbing about it. Since it isn't, I'll explain in detail.

"You're each going to get a suite at the Delfino Hotel and Casino. You'll have the rest of the day for relaxation purposes," Ben said. "Simple. Toadette, since you have that spa pass, you can take yourself and one other person to the Delfino Spa. You and Birdo also have Ancient Coins to spend as you see fit. Confusing? I don't think so," Ben said.

The contestants stared at him.

"Well, that's that, I guess," Ben said. "You'll be escorted to your rooms now. Have fun!" He said cheerfully.

"Oh, and by the way," Jeff grinned. "You aren't leaving the game. You aren't even taking a break. Just… something to keep in mind."

The contestants stared at him.

"G'night," Jeff said. He and Ben left.

**The Delfino Hotel and Casino**

The contestants shared suites, but had individual rooms.

Suite one: Bowser Jr, Toadette, and Waluigi.

Suite two: Bowser, Rosalina, and Ed.

Suite three: Wario and Funky Kong.

Suite four: Birdo and Bro Mamma.

**Suite One**

It wasn't extravagant, but that was on purpose. Any luxury that the contestants received on Royal Survivor would seem basic to the average person.

Thus, the giant ice sculptures, buffet, pricy art, and beer kegs were removed from the room. All that was left was a well-stocked fridge, good furniture, and good bedrooms and bathrooms.

In other words, compared to what the contestants were experiencing for the past few weeks, it was heaven.

"Roomy in here," Bowser Jr. said. "I like it."

Toadette went into her bedroom to change. Waluigi checked the inventory.

Waluigi: As far as I know, an Idol could be hidden under the sink. And I need one right now, badly.

What Waluigi actually found was a notebook and a sharp pencil each with the Royal Survivor logo on it.

"Couldn't have been put here by accident," Waluigi muttered. "There's one for each of us, too. What are they for?" Not wanting to pass up this opportunity, however, he took out the journals and sat down with one.

Bowser Jr. came out of the bathroom. He walked over to Waluigi. "What's up?"

"Hey, kid. I actually have a question to ask you." Waluigi closed his journal. "And I just wanted to make sure I heard right… When you were talking about why you wanted to win this game, did you actually, _literally_ say that you wanted to spend the money on your pet Chain Chomps?"

"Yeah," Bowser Jr. said. "What else would I spend it on?"

"Well, I just wanted to check. I mean, your brother has a brain tumor and all, I just assumed you would have something more meaningful than pets," Waluigi opened the journal and began to write again.

Bowser Jr. shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. It's not that I don't _care_, it's just that my dad's already dedicating this whole thing to Lemmy, and… Well, let me put it to you this way.

"We're a royal family, alright? Lemmy's getting the absolute best medical care possible. If he wanted a monument of himself as tall as the sky and deep as the ocean and made out of _jellybeans_, it would be built in a day. I _do_ care. But what can _I_ do? Even if I did dedicate _my_ game to Lemmy, it wouldn't matter any more to him, because he asked _dad_."

"Go on," Waluigi said.

"My bro never liked me. 'Cause I'm my dad's favorite. Hell, he'd be in this game himself if he wasn't so sick. And people are asking me what I would do with the money? Like I even know! I may be eighteen in human years, but I'm only twelve in Dragon Koopa years! What do I know about money?"

"Wait," Waluigi said. "Is your brother eight in Human years or-"

"Dragon Koopa years," Bowser Jr. said. "He doesn't care if I win. There's a lot of jealousy in a Royal family. He's an adorable kid, true. But he's never liked me. There's no 'brotherly love' in his heart. I know, 'He's your brother, why don't you care, blah, blah, blah,' but it's not that I don't care, it's just that Lemmy doesn't!"

"Enough with the speech, Junior. I understand," Waluigi said, scribbling down notes in his journal. He could tell Bowser Jr. was at the very least a bit upset.

Bowser Jr. wiped his eyes. "I care. Why does everyone keep saying I don't?"

"Oh, no, here come the waterworks," Toadette grumbled as she came out of the room wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt. "Hey, Waluigi, you should check your wardrobe. There's some nice stuff in there."

"And out of all of it you chose sweatpants and a T-shirt," Waluigi chuckled.

"Hey, I'm going to bed, not Sunday brunch," Toadette retorted.

"You'd probably go to Sunday brunch _in_ that outfit," Bowser Jr. chuckled.

"You got me there," Toadette sighed. She laid down on a different couch and stretched. "Y'know, ten minutes in, and this Reward thingy's already rubbed off on me."

"We haven't left the game," Waluigi said. He handed Bowser Jr. and Toadette each a journal. "Welcome to _The Mole_."

Bowser Jr. nervously laughed as he took the journal. "This is a _joke_, right?"

"Not sure," Waluigi admitted. "But, might as well write down our thoughts. Might be important later."

"Hard to believe there's only ten of us left," Bowser Jr. said. "Eight of us have been voted out, two have come back."

Waluigi sharply closed his journal. "_"

"Watch your mouth, buddy," Toadette said. "What's wrong?"

"_Three_ people have come back," Waluigi said. "That means the Ravager can attack our camp anytime they please."

"Well, that sucks," Bowser Jr. said. "But why worry? I mean, like we have any choice of being here…"

Toadette sulked. "This sucks. They can do _anything _they want to our camp. Ugh."

"But, like Bowser Jr. said, best not fret about it," Waluigi grimaced. "Don't see how we'll get a good sleep now, though."

"Thanks for bringing it _up_, Waluigi," Toadette growled.

"Any time," Waluigi said as he went into the bathroom to freshen up.

**Suite Two**

Ed: Am I happy about rooming with a registered psycho? No. Am I upset about rooming with Rosalina… no. The way I see it, she's mean, she's nasty, but she plays the game. Why is that pissing everyone off? I dunno. And just so we're clear, I don't _want_ her here. I'm trying to play the game, too, and Rosalina isn't a part of it.

Rosalina: Everyone is whining and  ing about me being back in the game. Well, tough luck. Just try and stop me now.

Bowser: The last Tribal was… interesting… maybe even game-changing. There are only ten of us left, and since I was lucky enough to be given a second chance, I'm not going to be one to waste it.

After the Royal Survivors got acquainted to their new accommodations, they settled in. Rosalina, as opposed to the green shirt and green pants she had been wearing, donned a scarlet nightgown before snooping around the premises.

Ed and Bowser soon found the journals and began to write in them. Rosalina examined the candles around the room.

"These are nice… lemon scented, too…" Rosalina murmured. "Hey, guys, what're you writing about?"

"Hmm…" Bowser said. "Everything."

Ed nodded. "What he said."

Rosalina picked up her own journal. She flipped through the pages. "I wonder… they put these here for a reason, didn't they?"

Bowser continued to scribble in the tiny journal. "I suppose… what does it matter to you?"

"Well, I bet a challenge is coming up that involves these," Rosalina said. "Wish I knew what, though."

"Well, might as well write in them," Ed said. "It's great to get all of your ideas down on paper. I think so, at least."

Rosalina picked up a nearby pen. It glowed green for a moment, then she started writing indecipherable lines down on her paper, which also glowed for a bit.

Ed looked up. "Um… I don't want to interrupt… but what's with the light show?"

Rosalina finished her drawings. Her eyes glowed green, and simultaneously all of the candles in the room lit up green. "Yess," Rosalina said. "I got it right!"

"Got _what_ right, if you don't mind me asking," Bowser asked.

Rosalina looked at them. "What, you think I was _born_ with this power?"

Ed and Bowser looked at each other, and then back at Rosalina. They nodded.

Rosalina blew some hair out of her eyes. "Figures."

"Wait a minute…" Bowser said. "Rosalina, may I look at your notes?"

Rosalina tossed the book to Bowser. He looked inside.

"My God, woman, these are ancient Magikoopa scripts! Where did you learn these?" Bowser exclaimed.

"I'm self-taught," Rosalina said. "I found a manual a few years ago. Mind if I tell a quick story?"

Ed shrugged. "Sure. Shoot."

Rosalina sat down and leaned back on the couch. "Royal Survivor wouldn't let me in the first time I applied. So I found this book, and learned a few basic spells. They still wouldn't let me in. So I studied and studied until I had mastered the whole first section, but they _still_ wouldn't let me in!"

"So… why are you in now?" Ed asked.

Rosalina sighed. "Royal Survivor—and basically every other game show—has a cast. You may not think of it much now that you're in or while you're watching a show, but they have so many 'nice' people and so many 'mean' people. The only way I could get in was to be one of the 'mean' people. So that's what I did.

"Now, let me tell you something: I'm not usually mean. I mean, I lay down the laws of the cosmos and everything, so there are times when I have to be mean. But I didn't just have to _become_ mean to join Royal Survivor. I had to _stay_ mean. That was their terms and conditions. And I abide by them," Rosalina said.

"I'm afraid I don't fully understand…" Bowser furrowed his eyebrows. "Why not just get nicer throughout the course of the story?"

"That's what I'm working on now," Rosalina said. "I had to use my powers to win the challenges, maybe not the Banishment one, but I just felt like showing off. But now I'm clean. I'll only use my powers to keep myself from getting eliminated. But who wouldn't?"

"You have a point," Ed said. He rubbed his chin. "Guess some of us were just jealous of your powers."

"No kidding," Rosalina huffed. "But with good reason. For every time I avoid elimination, someone else goes home. And I've avoided plenty of eliminations."

"I'm going to bed," Ed said. "I'll think over what you're saying tonight, Rosalina. Until then."

"I suppose it's my time to turn in," Bowser said. "I bid you farewell."

Ed, Bowser, and Rosalina all went to bed, resting for the day to come.

**Suite Three**

Suite No. three wasn't exactly full of good feelings. Wario and Funky Kong were both inside. They hardly said a word to each other before packing up and going to bed. Wario found the journal in his nightstand. Funky didn't find a journal.

Funky: Wario and I both know that there's a lot of animosity going on between us. I'm plotting against him, and he's plotting against me. It's total war now. Problem is, who's going to make it out alive?

Wario: Am I worried? Nah. Worrying gives you gray hair and wrinkles. I'll just ignore the issue until the time comes for it to be dealt with. Why stress over something that might never become a problem? Or in Funky's case… Well, let's just say there's a pretty darn good chance that the Funky Kong problem will sort itself out, the way he's going.

**Suite Four**

The girls of the contest, Birdo and Bro Mamma, checked the room for hidden goodies. What they found were the journals.

"Interesting," Bro Mamma said. "Wonder what these are for?"

"Who knows?" Birdo said. She said down on the couch. "I'm a bit afraid to write in them. Do you think that it might be showed to the other contestants later?"

"Nothing we do on this show is a secret," Bro Mamma assured Birdo. "Whatever you put in that journal you better be prepared to show to the rest of the world."

Birdo took out a pencil. "I've been wondering… Why are we even in an alliance with Wario anymore?"

"Pardon?" Bro Mamma asked.

"Well, I mean, we have the numbers," Birdo said. "Why not just vote him out at the next Tribal?"

"Problem," Bro Mamma said, scribbling something down in her journal. "Wario said he had an Idol at the Banishment challenge. He might not be lying."

"But he might be," Birdo said. "Well… how about this. We'll split the votes. You will vote for Funky, and I'll vote for Wario. Funky will vote for Wario, for sure. Then we're both safe."

"What about Wario's vote?" Bro Mamma asked.

"Well… he's probably going to vote for Funky Kong," Birdo shrugged.

Birdo: No, I can't tell the future. But honestly, it's every woman for herself out here. Who's a bigger threat, me or Bro Mamma?

Bro Mamma: I wish I knew what to do as of now. Wario seems intent on eliminating everyone inside _his own tribe_, and the worst part isn't only that he's succeeding, it's that there's almost no way to defend against him.

**Reward**

Jeff was outside the Delfino Hotel and Casino sipping a tropical slushie. Ben was sunbathing nearby.

"Welcome, Survivors! Glad you could make it, good to see you," Jeff cheered. He motioned to the large round table that had ten empty seats. "Have a seat. We need to discuss the plan for the day."

The contestants, who had begun to become a bit more comfortable, did just that. The seats were metal swivel-chairs with cushions on the seat and back.

"And thus, the Reward begins," Ben said, standing up. "That is, unless one of you don't want to be here."

Some of the contestants were confused. Others just grimaced. A few laughed.

"Well, for some people, untamed wilderness and tropical landscape is much more relaxing than the Casino and beach," Ben said ominously.

"Yeah, yeah," Wario laughed. "We all know you're joking. Can we skip to the meaty stuff?"

"Patience, Wario," Jeff said. "Remember, in Royal Survivor, every opportunity could save you much trouble later."

Waluigi raised his hand. "I'm leaving."

Mostly the same reaction from the others as before. Some shock, some grimaces, and some laughter.

"Very well, Waluigi, follow Ben back to the boat. Any others?" Jeff asked.

Nobody moved.

Waluigi: You know why I left. I wouldn't be able to relax here at all if I had to worry about the Ravager tearing up the shelter.

"Well, then, on to the details," Jeff said. "You all get one free day at the beach and fifty coins to spend however you like. You aren't allowed to leave the beach, but then again, why would you want to? Look to a Royal Survivor agent whenever you need anything and we'll see what we can do. You will be immediately escorted to the beach now. Let's hop to it!" Jeff finished.

The nine other Royal Survivors followed Jeff through the streets of Delfino Plaza until they reached the pristine waters of the beach. A moderate wind blew, allowing for large surfing waves on some parts of the shore. The water was warm, but not hot, as was the air.

In other words, the perfect day for a Reward.

"Have at it," Jeff said. "I'll see you at sundown. You'll all be carted off back to the island then."

The Royal Survivors cheered and spread out on the beach. Wario immediately went over to the snack shack and began to stuff his face thoroughly.

Birdo and Bro Mamma, who wanted to stay close, went to build sand castles with toys that Royal Survivor provided.

Funky Kong received a surfboard from Royal Survivor and began to ride the waves. Rosalina grabbed a board and went to join him.

"You surf?" Funky Kong asked in astonishment upon seeing Rosalina paddling out to sea.

"Great day to learn!" she laughed. "I tried it before out in a nearby solar system, and it wasn't too bad."

Funky didn't look too pleased that he had to share the waves, but it didn't make much of a difference throughout the day.

Rosalina: Turns out… I'm not good at surfing _at all_. Whenever I wasn't wiping out, I was swimming back to the surface. I don't like when people laugh at me, but I can admit it was rather funny.

Funky Kong: Rosalina probably sugar-coated her explanation when she gave it, so I'm going to set the record straight: Rosalina is _terrible_ at surfing. And anyone who saw her nose-dive straight into the wave after struggling to keep her balance the whole way through laughed their butt off the rest of the day.

Bowser Jr. went with his dad to talk strategy over a few Tic-Tac-Toe grids.

"Of all of them, the biggest threat overall is Rosalina," Bowser Jr. began, scratching an _X_ in the sand, "but Wario and Waluigi aren't pushovers either."

"I see," Bowser said, using his little claw to carve an _O_ in the sand. "I suggest we get rid of Toadette first."

"Any particular reason, or you just don't like her?" Bowser Jr. asked, contemplating where to put his next move.

"Well there is a reason, but I do not care for Toadette in the slightest," Bower sighed. "It is not a good path the Inferno tribe is travelling if Rosalina and Toadette cannot get along in a polite manner. Frankly, they are a lit Bob-omb that, if left unchecked, could destroy the tribe from the inside out."

"Speaking of tribes," Bowser Jr. said while placing his next _X_, "Wario seems intent on getting rid of everyone in his own tribe. Why is that?"

"I think that is a bit of an over exaggeration," Bowser said. "He just has a terrific, and somewhat terrifying, sense of strategy. I would _not_ like to have to play Survivor in his tribe only because I fear I am terribly outmatched. But I most likely will, before this game ends." Bowser said, scratching a line through the sand. "Tic-Tac-Toe."

Bowser Jr. drew a new grid. "I wonder what Waluigi is doing back at camp?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was sabotaging the Champion tribe," Bowser said. His eyes widened with realization. "Of course! I had forgot all about the Ravager!"

"He was talking about it in our room last night," Bowser Jr. said, scribbling an _O_ in the sand.

"I would have liked to go back now that I have realized what a fool Royal Survivor has made of us," Bowser frowned, scoring an _X_ in the sandy grid. "They tempted us with a vacation, putting a foil over our eyes to foil our chances in the coming weeks."

"I dunno, dad," Bowser Jr. said. "Waluigi is pretty sharp. Of course the Champion tribe will be ruined, but that can only be good for us, right?"

"I suppose, yet I fear for him," Bowser said, cutting a line through the sand. "Tic-Tac-Toe."

"I don't think that there are any other threats except maybe, well, you, dad," Bowser Jr. said nervously.

"I would never vote you out, Junior. That is a promise I intend to keep. You must think of me only as an advantage to you, a friend to be called upon in dark times," Bowser said seriously.

"Thanks, dad," Bowser Jr. said, words almost caught in his throat. As he continued to play the game with his dad, he remembered that his father would be fiercely loyal to those he considered friends.

Bowser Jr: If anything, _I_ should sacrifice myself for _him_. He deserves this say more than I do. I'll do my best to help him to the end.

"Tic-Tac-Toe, three in a row," Bowser said, smiling warmly. "Want me to tell you the secret?"

"Please," Bowser Jr. said.

Toadette and Ed went to the Delfino Spa as promised. Toadette had a traditional Delfino massage while Ed relaxed in the hot springs with a few other locals.

Toadette: That pounded _all _of the worry straight out of me. It'll all come back later tonight, but it was a heavenly experience.

Ed: I miss Yoshi a little and feel guilty that he didn't make it as far as I did, seeing as he was such a competitor. But that only means that I have to make sure that they don't underestimate me in the future. Meanwhile, I'm in Delfino, baby!

**Inferno Camp**

It was that time of day, when the sun beams through the trees and soaks you with sweat while the bugs nip at you and the weeds make you itch and your clothes are ruined, when you start to regret things.

Waluigi gave up a day at a pristine beach for the living nightmare that he had been struggling to survive for almost a month.

Waluigi: I am very confident that I made the right decision. However, that doesn't mean I don't regret it a _little_…

Waluigi heard a rustle in the bushes and jumped. Then a twig cracked under the weight of something. Waluigi picked up the sharp metal spear he had 'borrowed.'

Triangulating where the noise was coming from with his sensitive pointed ears, Waluigi eyed the location. It was right behind the shelter… right where the supports were!

Waluigi rushed toward the noise. He tripped over the Ravager, who appeared to be Daisy.

"Bwah!" Daisy yelled as she suddenly saw a giant purple elf trip barrel her over. She tried to run for it, and got a good distance, but Waluigi was much faster.

Waluigi: Now that I think about it, Daisy probably got soft from the week or two away from Royal Survivor. That makes me regret leaving the Reward a little less, because it means I wouldn't have had to adjust quite as much to the itching, stinging, sweaty lifestyle that is the Inferno Tribe camp.

Waluigi grabbed Daisy's arm and twisted it painfully against her back. "You've got some explaining to do, Miss Daisy."

"They said…" Daisy struggled against the pain. "They said you'd all be gone!"

"You need to run away and _never come back!_" Waluigi somewhat quietly whispered into Daisy's ear, twisting her arm harder. "There's _plenty more_ where that came from, understand?"

Daisy nodded. Waluigi let her go, brandishing the spear in case she decided to attack.

"Go play with the Champion Tribe," Waluigi said, gritting his teeth. "You have no business with us."

Daisy scowled and ran off. The Ravager was now known.

Daisy: I blew my cover for _nothing!_ Ugh, there goes the element of surprise!

Waluigi: So it _hadn't _been a mistake to come back after all! I look forward to being the hero the next time I see my tribe.

**Reward**

It was getting late. Rosalina was still miserably failing at surfing, Toadette and Ed were coming back from the spa, and Wario was still eating. Bowser was drilling Bowser Jr. on various branches of Bowser's army.

Meanwhile, while the sun dipped dangerously close to the horizon, Funky Kong, Bro Mamma, and Birdo were all discussing strategy.

"Do we even need him anymore?" Birdo asked. "I mean, Wario's only going to be an extreme pain from this moment forward. We need to get rid of him by any means necessary."

"Except," Bro Mamma persisted, "He has the Idol. We can't do anything to him while he does!"

"We don't know that he has one or not, and we're not going to get anything done by just sitting here," Funky said. "I'm going over to confront him."

Funky found Wario gorging himself on a small, personal-sized cake.

"What's up, little man?" Wario asked without looking over at Funky.

Funky: Wario seems to know the _exact_ thing to say to me off. He was trying to make me reckless, I knew that, so I tried to compose myself.

"We just don't need you anymore, Wario," Funky said. "We have the numbers. You're obsolete."

"Good for you. Have a cake to celebrate," Wario said sarcastically.

"Don't you care? Like at all?" Funky asked, surprised.

"Look, if you're trying to get me to beg forgiveness, to bow down and kiss your sandals, well, I'm telling you right now it's not going to happen," Wario said, licking frosting off of his fingers. "All I know is that _I_ have the Idol, and that means at some point in the near future, either you, Bro Mamma, or Birdo is going home."

"Oh yeah?" Funky challenged.

"Yeah," Wario said, as if he was discussing the news. "And I also know that you're terrified of me. So keep your nose out of my face. I don't want to be impolite, Funky, but you can brag _after_ you've beat me. Fair enough?"

Funky shook his head. "You're way in over your head, Wario. Just you wait and see." He walked off.

Wario: Funky and the others aren't decisive enough to make good choices about how to get rid of me. They'll likely end up voting each other off. Which, don't get me wrong, is fine by me.

Wario got up to use the restroom when he saw something hidden under a table. It was small and green. Most people would thing it was either a paperweight or a few dozen packs of dark green gum. But Wario knew what it was.

Wario found an Idol hidden under the table. He quickly took it and hid it in his back pocket.

Wario: Once again, an Idol saves the day.

_Later…_

It was about sunset now, and the Survivors sadly lined up to go back to the island. Most of them only had a few coins left after they bought lunch, but those were confiscated as they boarded the boat.

Rosalina: Well, I learned a few hundred ways how _not _to surf.

Toadette: That was amazing. I miss it already.

Bowser Jr: I had a lot of fun with my dad today, and even at home I usually don't spend that much time with him in one sitting. It was awesome.

Bowser: I hope I can confide in Junior throughout the rest of the game. As the number in this game shrinks, however, I have a harder time believing that he will resist temptation. I can only trust that I raised him better.

Ed: I had a lot of time to think in those hot springs. Mostly I thought about the hot springs, but I also thought how awesome it would be to have my wife and family there with me. I miss them terribly. 

Birdo: I wanted to end the day refreshed, but I'm only worried sick that Wario will end up with the upper hand, like he usually does.

Bro Mamma: That wasn't a _particularly _relaxing day, but oh well. It was better than the island.

Funky Kong: Well, I guess you could say that today had its highs and lows. I got to see Rosalina faceplant, which I'm still laughing about, but Wario is right, I am terrified of him. What do I have to do to come out triumphant against him?

Wario: I feel… full. Really full. And I have an Idol. That pretty much sums up my day.

**Inferno, Monday**

Rosalina, Toadette, Bowser, Bowser Jr, and Ed all made it back to the Inferno tribe camp to join Waluigi.

"How was it, Waluigi?" Rosalina asked, swatting a fly on her shoulder.

"The Ravager stopped by," Waluigi said. "Other than that, it was pretty uneventful."

"What?" Bowser Jr. yelled. "What happened?"

"I managed to fend her off, don't worry," Waluigi said. "She was messing around with-"

_Snap! Creeeeaaak…_

One of the six supports to the shelter broke.

"_," said Rosalina as she bounded to the shelter. She grabbed the support and struggled to keep it at a regular angle.

Suddenly, two supports snapped. The shelter teetered at an irregular angle.

"Don't just stand there, grab the vines!" Rosalina yelled. "Quickly, or we'll never be able to use this thing again!"

The Inferno tribe worked together to try and stabilize the shelter. It was very tough, but with the help of Bowser in particular, Rosalina managed to root the supports back into the ground by individually tying each filament on one end to that of the other.

After the job was done, Bowser collapsed on his shell. "Haa… haar…"

Just about everyone was sweating, except Toadette, whom Rosalina had told to stay out of the way.

"Nice job, dad," Bowser Jr. said.

Waluigi kicked at a stone. "I can't _believe_ I forgot to check the supports! They just didn't seem too bad at the time."

"Daisy cut a few pressurepoints on the shelter and the wound spread," Rosalina said. "She must have been having help from Royal Survivor, I probably wouldn't have been able to do that myself, nor spot it."

"No harm done," Bowser said, rolling back over onto his front. "Waluigi, who was the Ravager?"

"The Ravager is Daisy," Waluigi said.

**Champion, Monday**

Or rather, what was left of it.

Everything in the camp was strewn about the place. All of the firewood was damp and rotting, the pots, pans, and spears were on the roof and in trees, and the mattresses from the beds were soaking in a mud pit. Strangely, however, the shelter itself wasn't touched.

"Maybe shelter sabotaging isn't permitted in Royal Survivor," Birdo suggested, checking inside the shelter. "I mean, our Tribal Torch is still here."

"Or maybe the Ravager is just weak-hearted, with no resolve," Wario argued. "Either way, we know what we're doing the rest of the night.

And so, the Champions lit some torches to counter the lack of sunlight, and got to work.

The Reward was over.

_**Next on Royal Survivor…**_

_Wario and Rosalina make a secret alliance._

"You know you're in trouble," Wario told Rosalina matter-of-factly. "They're going to get rid of you the first chance they get." Wario held the Idol up by his face. "I can keep you here."

"And all you want in exchange is a voting alliance? My, my, how generous of you," Rosalina laughed.

"Then you accept?" Wario asked with a sinister grin.

"Of course, my dear Wario, of course," Rosalina said.

_There is a double elimination._

"_Both_ tribes will be going to Tribal this week," Jeff said. "In hopes that we can make the Merge come faster than originally intended."

"I'm assuming you want this to be over as quickly as possible, right?" Ben said. "Just stay in it to win it, and I'm sure at _least_ three of you will do fine."

The contestants did not look very encouraged by this news.

_And the worst is looming on the horizon…_

"YOU TAKE YOUR LITTLE _ ATTITUDE WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO _ LISTEN TO IT ANYMORE!" Toadette screamed.

"Oh, you're kicking me out?" Rosalina cooed. "How sweet. Well, you listen to _me_, Toadette! You want to see me with an attitude? _Here's my attitude!_"

The entire area lit up with green flames. Dark energy coursed into Toadette, who writhed as if she was being possessed.

…_and the unthinkable happens._

"You are voted out of Royal Survivor. Hand me your torch, if you please."

Bowser: …That was a surprise.

Waluigi: I have no words for what just happened.

Rosalina: That is the first time in this game I have been legitimately shocked.

_**Who will be the next Royal Survivor?**_


End file.
